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Chapter 4: No Place Among the Rest

December 4, Saturday

Hoboken, New Jersey

Emmett

"Happy Holidays!"

I grumble a response to the cashier, sliding my credit card back into my wallet with a heavy, dejected sigh. My mood, dark and dismal, is a stark juxtaposition to the cheer of the holiday spirit here in Manhattan, and I feel out of place for the first time in all the years I've frequented the city.

Rose and I have lived and worked in the city, or surrounding areas, for the last several years. We had met here in New York during college, and once graduation had come and gone, neither of us could imagine living anywhere else. We had gotten jobs, married, and settled down in Hoboken, New Jersey, a quick hop, skip, and jump from Manhattan, and had been deliriously happy as we watched the seasons and years pass us by.

We had done everything right, and somehow everything is now completely wrong.

New York City had been the backdrop to all the milestones in our lives. We had climbed the corporate ladders. We had bought the ridiculously overpriced apartment overlooking the skyline. We had the wedding of our dreams, complete with a honeymoon that will always hold sacred those secret memories between a man and his wife.

What the fuck happened?

Tightening my grip on the gift bags in my hand, I leave the store and head outside, mixing into the crowded streets with ease. Tourists have infiltrated the city in droves, and we accept the influx of people like we do each and every year. Given my sour mood and the additional street traffic this time of year, one would think I would have chosen to do my shopping online and ship them off to wherever I need them. It would have been better and a hell of a lot easier if I had done it that way, but I knew I needed to get out of the apartment and clear my head.

Christmas has always been my favorite holiday, and I hoped that being out in the city would revive some type of holiday spirit from inside me. However, instead of feeling overjoyed at the sights and sounds of this time of year like I usually do, I find myself even more miserable than when I had left the apartment earlier in the morning.

"Fuck," I mutter aloud, keeping up with the speed of the crowd I'm surrounded by, even though all I want to do is find a place to sit and gather myself. I decide against it, knowing no amount of time or peaceful place will bring me the answers I'm searching for, so I make my way towards the train station and hop the next train back home.

By the time I walk through the door, it's a little after noon, and the emptiness of the apartment is no longer a stranger to me. For now, I place the gifts for my family back home in Forks in the back corner of my closet. I'll wrap and mail them tomorrow, giving me something to do to break up the monotony of my day.

All the days are the same, one blurring into the next, ever since I lost my job almost a year ago.

It was nothing personal; corporate downsizing at its finest, and I had entered this newly unemployed chapter of my life with as much positivity as I could. I had a decent severance, more than enough in savings, so financially, Rose and I were going to be okay.

Everything else went to shit, and almost a year later, I stand under the spray of the shower at a complete loss of what to do to save our marriage.

To save ourselves.

I thought Christmas would be it. I thought I would wake up the morning after Thanksgiving and feel...different. More like the old Emmett who loved life and everyone and everything in it.

But that wasn't the case.

Four days into December, and I still can't find myself. I can't find my wife. I can't find the love that kept us afloat for as long as it had before sinking beneath the depths of loss and hopelessness.

I had seen the snow globe in passing, and on a whim, had bought it for Rose in an attempt to show her I still love her. That I still remember. That it's not her fault.

…That we will keep trying.

But now it sits on her nightstand, mocking me for even giving a fuck anymore. Before I can jump completely off the deep end, my phone vibrates from my nightstand, and I wrap my towel around my waist to catch the remaining droplets from the shower.

"Hey," I answer, putting the call on speaker so I can dry myself.

"What's up, man." My brother, Jasper, states in greeting. His voice is still groggy with sleep; the time difference between here and Forks is evident in the sound of his words.

"Why did you call me if you're clearly not ready to talk?" I ask with a laugh, always amused by my younger brother, no matter our ages and the distance between us.

"Alice made me call now before I forget," he replies around a yawn. "Figured you'd be up anyway."

"Yeah, it's around one in the afternoon over here. I'm too old to sleep my days away."

"It's good for you to sleep in every now and then, you know. Have a 'No Bones' Day for yourself every once in a while."

I scoff into the phone, shaking my head at how I have no idea what my brother is talking about. "A 'No Bones' Day? You make me feel ancient every time I talk to you when you say things like that and expect me to know what the fuck you're talking about."

"Forget it," Jasper laughs. "Just sayin' it's okay to relax for a little while."

"I've been relaxing for the last year," I remind him. "I'm getting a little antsy around here."

Jasper sighs on the other end of the line. "Still nothing?"

"No jobs that stand out," I clarify. "The thought of working every day at a place that drains my soul makes me not want to bother looking at all." I instantly think of Rose and how throwing herself into her work for the past year has only made our situation that much more difficult.

"I feel that," Jasper agrees. "Which is all the more reason to come out here early."

I shake my head. "Rose can't get the time off this year."

"Maybe you come without her," Jasper suggests. "Maybe it'll help."

I wonder if the space already taking permanent residence in our marriage would mind the additional miles between here and Washington State.

"Maybe."

"It's just a suggestion, Em. Maybe coming back home for a bit, getting some space from everything, will help you. Maybe it'll help you both."

After all we've lost, what else do we have to lose? What do we even have left? I sigh, running my hands across my face. "Actually, it doesn't seem like a bad idea."

"Yeah? Alice will love it."

I smile at the thought of my future sister-in-law. "She seems happy."

"We are, Em. Which is why I need you here, bro. Celebrating our engagement won't be the same without you here."

My eyes land on the snow globe again, and I notice she hasn't bothered to put this one with the rest of her holiday collection I've gifted her over the years.

Like me, this year's holiday globe doesn't seem to find a place amongst the rest.

"I'll be there, Jasper. I'll start looking for flights."

Send Emmett your love - I think both him and Rosalie could use some of Alice and Bella's Christmas magic.

For tomorrow - be prepared with your favorite holiday drink! Our next character could use one...or a few!