Who: Don & Crew, Molly, Becca
When: Some time after the last negotiated business dinner but before dating.
What: Don picks the wrong day to try to advance his cause with Becca.
"What are you doing? Hold my ankles! My ankles I said!" Don pinwheeled his arms and gritted his teeth as the world swung a bit before Hacksaw's hands closed on his ankles. There, better.
Or steadier at least.
For a moment.
"Not you Dumptruck! NO I AM SAYING LISTEN TO ME! YOU HOLD HIS ANKLES OR-" Or they'd all fall down. Again.
"But you said boss..."
"I know what I was saying and that was to Hacksaw! You hold him you are the bottom you cannot let go of the next one!" Don grimaced and slowly sat up, not bothering to climb off the pirate pile before stretching his shoulders until they popped. Why did Rebecca have to live up on the second story? WHY?!
She obviously did it for security. He applauded her self reliance. It was still very annoying. "Now let's try this again! UP! UP! I need to be closer to the balcony And this time NO MISTAKES!" Hopefully the darkness of the night would hide the grass stains on his coat.
And the kinks in his fur.
Stupid high balcony.
He cringed inwardly and clenched his teeth as the stacked pirates swayed again, but as this time, miraculously, they didn't topple he ended up grinning. Haha! Victory was within reach! Now, yes, "Hello! It is I, Don Karnage! Here to serenade you! I have braved the-"
What...
...was...
...the thing that fell on him? "Umm..." Action plan? Carry on! YES! "...yes, I..." HIS EAR WASN'T MOVING RIGHT! He reached up gingerly to paw at the frozen ear and his fingers came away with stretchy...goo?
"THAT IS VERY RUDE AND I WILL HAVE YOU KNOW THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES FOR THROWING GUM AT PIRATES! IT IS LITTERING!"
"...eeeeeep! It's you guys!" Molly finally closed her mouth when Don started talking again. Sure, she'd lost her gum but there were more important things to deal with! LIKE PIRATES CLIMBING UP TO THE WINDOW! "Stay right there!"
"...okay?" That was the child, Molly, yes he remembered her name. Perhaps she was getting him a napkin? Yes, a napkin would be GREATLY APPRECIATED because he know had gum on both hands. And his ear still. How as he suppose to concentrate on a serenade when he was covered in gum?!
Molly peeked into the living room carefully, yes, Mrs. Hunterson was still asleep on the couch and the television was going. Good, she'd be safe in there right? Right. The babysitter secured there was only one thing left to do! GET INTO COSTUME! "HOW DARE YOU COME UP ON MY WINDOWS CRE...CRESH? BADGUYS!"
"What?" Don peered up through the sticky strands at the balcony still several feet above him. "I told you, I am DON KARNAGE! I have come to-"
"TAKE THAT!"
The jam jar missed him by a mile (okay maybe less but it was dark and he couldn't judge distances that well at night when he was half glued together with gum!). "Hah! You missed! Now, please fetch your mother! She will be SERENADED!"
"YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!" Molly shot back, already rearming. "HOW ABOUT THIS?!"
Okay, the honey came a little closer and..."OUCH BOSS THAT HURT!"
Curses, his tower was vulnerable! Time to rally the troops! "No! It was honey! It is a gift to you do not whine!" Or...something. Not his best attempt alright?
"Awwww, no one gets me presents!" Dumptruck spoke from below. "Sorry! Thank you girl!"
Right, it was Dumptruck. Crisis averted. "Now, really, I just..."
"AND THIS!"
WHO GAVE THE KID A CACTUS?! "LEFT! LEFT MOVE LEFT!" OH PLEASE PH PLEASE OH PLEASE DON'T LET THEM DROP HIM AGAIN...
"Dibs on the plant mate," Hacksaw spoke up.
"Okay!" Dumptruck grinned.
At least they were taking it in stride? Where was the child's mother?! "Please now if you just-"
"She's not home! AND YOU CAN'T HAVE HER!"
"Eh?" he...hadn't planned for that. It was night, she should be home, business hours were certainly over! "Well where is she?!" She should be where she could be serenaded of course! This was just...an affront! The indignity!
Molly stuck her head over the railing, silver colander helmet gleaming like justice and spatula pointed victoriously toward the pirate tower, "She's WORKING! STAY THERE!"
"Working?! IT'S NIGHT!" Don growled and crossed his arm in a huff...forgetting the gum for a crucial second. But only a second. Oh...his coat. And arms. And this was just...
...well, wasn't she an industrious child? "Ah...running now Dumptruck. RUNNING NOW!"
"Where boss?"
Too late. That was a dining room chair. A rather solid, wooden thing that she had to have levered up pretty high to get over the railing. He could admire the determination behind that...through the wheeling stars.
And he was back to square one, sitting atop a pile of pirates and mostly-glued to Hacksaw now. Great. "This is not happening," he muttered to himself. This was NOT how the evening was suppose to go, but he hadn't even managed the first few notes of a proper serenade and his head hurt and...
...and he'd never get the gum out of his coat.
"Think 'e's asleep boss," Hacksaw noted from under Don.
Ah, Dumptruck, the chair must have hit him pretty hard, or someone's elbow, or a boot...
"AND STAY DOWN! YOU CAN'T DEFEAT PRINCESS POWER!"
"Then we stay here, right here yes?" Don sighed, feeling the gum slowly oozing deeper into his fur. They'd stay put until Dumptruck was awake and they could all move...
"Don?!" Rebecca hissed from the sidewalk. "What are you doing here?!"
"I GOT THEM MOMMY!"
"I see that honey," she lifted her gaze to the balcony and couldn't help but smile. Still, there was a rather pathetic pile of pirates on the back lawn and...what if someone saw them there?! "Well?!"
"I, Don Karnage, came to..." Don tried to peel open an eye to look her over, tried to smile, and the gum got in the way. CURSED CHEWING GUM! "...never mind, he came but plans change yes? He serenade you some other time."
Serenade? Becca blinked at the pirates and sighed. Right. That was...oddly touching. "Stay here a moment, let me send the babysitter home, then you should get inside before someone sees you!"
"What?"
"Inside? Where we can get that gum taken care of?"
"Oh, yes," Don grinned, teeth flashing through the shadow licked bubble gum strands. Who could resist a pirate such as him after all?