Ta didn't like tomatoes. Or, to say the least, he was indifferent towards them.
When Itachi and Sasuke were younger their mother would walk into the kitchen to find a young Sasuke –younger than Ta – sitting on the floor with the fridge wide open eating whole tomatoes out of the bag. Even as he grew older he would grab a tomato and eat it while doing homework or watching TV.
No matter how much Sasuke's personality changed over the years, his love of tomatoes stayed the same though as an adult he would never admit how much he favored them.
Itachi felt for the countertop ledge behind him and slowly pulled himself to a stand. "How can you look so much like Sasuke but act nothing like him?" He mumbled. What's more, he now had a bag of tomatoes on his hands that he needed to find a use for before they went bad. If Ta was satisfied with eating only a slice of a tomato he would surely forget that the rest existed.
He gathered the excess plastic in his hands and tied it in a knot with the efficiency of a grocery store clerk nearing the end of their shift. Swiftly, robotically, and staring into the nothingness before him.
"We have a child in our care and have identified you as being the next of kin."
What did Nono say the other day when they met? "I'm sorry for your loss." He recalled. So she knew about Sasuke's death. Well of course she knew about his death – she was a trained professional who wasn't hired just this week! And Itachi hadn't said anything about Sasuke's death to her before they met. That he could remember at least. He was quite drunk in the days leading up to everything so the details were a little hazy.
No matter. It didn't do him well to fixate on events that took place when he was under the influence. And he couldn't deny that it made sense. His brother's recent passing coupled with the presence of a child that bore some physical resemblances to Sasuke.
But still he couldn't shake the feeling that Ta looked more like Itachi did when he was younger and less like Sasuke. And there was no way in hell Itachi unknowingly fathered a child four years ago that he had no recollection of. While it was true that he had developed a bit of a dependence on alcohol it wasn't enough to get black out drunk and lose his senses on the streets! And had that happened he would have hoped that whoever he'd slept with would have come forward by now! He wouldn't be hard to find if they knew his name.
And to top it off the child was named after him. If he wasn't Sasuke's who else's could he be?
He felt his cheeks heat and not because of the food cooking nearby. How could he go through law school with top marks, start a successful law firm and not know that a child he was related to existed somewhere in the city?
But the city was expansive and he mainly dealt with those who were accused of a crime. He was thankful that this child was brought to his attention via social services and not as a result of a felony.
What hurt more than his unawareness was the prospect of becoming so far removed from his younger brother's life that there was a chance – a big chance – that Sasuke didn't even want to tell him about Ta. Just how badly had things gotten between them for things to fall so far out of hand?
Or maybe Sasuke never liked tomatoes as much as Itachi thought he did, a thought that immediately caused his eyes to dampen with tears. To fail at something was annoying. To fail at something important strung. To have failed to be the older brother he wanted to be to Sasuke for the past twenty years was nauseating and made his head spin.
"Can I have a piece of paper and a pen please?" Ta asked just then.
Itachi jumped in surprise and quickly dabbed at his eyes with the insides of his wrists. "Sure." He sniffed. "You came to the right place because legal pads and fountain pens are never in short supply here." He said dryly, hoping that humor would improve his mood.
He led Ta to the dining room table, a large slab of mahogany that could seat up to eight people and overlooked the farmer's market and new apartment buildings across the street. His hope was that Sasuke could invite his friends over to entertain but since that never happened it slowly become Itachi's study for when he worked late.
"What do you need the paper for?" He inquired as he pulled out a pack of newly opened legal pads out from under a stack of documents. He didn't know what Ta planned to use the paper for but if he wanted multiple sheets to draw or write on Itachi wouldn't have to worry about misplacing any important notes about current cases or trying to read through multicolored scribbles in the office.
"My dictionary has activities in it and I want to see how many I can get right!" He exclaimed proudly, taking the legal pad in his tiny hands.
Itachi smiled and handed him a ballpoint pen. He might not have inherited Sasuke's love of tomatoes but he inherited something far better: Sasuke's passion for learning new things.
"Hey big brother! Can you help me practice my math facts?" Sasuke would ask when he was younger.
"Itachi! Did you see me?" He'd call out when he learned to ride his bike without training wheels.
"Big brother! Watch this!" He'd always say when he practiced for the little league soccer team – one of the many short-lived hobbies he picked up when it was cool and dropped when it wasn't anymore.
It was little moments like these that Itachi treasured within his heart even after Sasuke grew older and the words Itachi longed to hear just one more time.
And now that he had the opportunity to relieve those moments he promised himself he wouldn't waste them. He'd be there when Ta wanted him to be and he'd do what Ta wanted him to do. He'd be there for Ta in the ways that he wasn't for Sasuke.
Which was easier said than done.
Despite Ta's enthusiasm for learning new things, he was more independent than Sasuke was. Itachi quickly learned that Ta preferred to work by himself, politely declining Itachi's attempts to help in any way. He merely asked Itachi for a piece of paper and a pen as a means to an end – to alphabetize a list of birds presented to him in his book. He did not care for Itachi hanging beside him or trying to guide him, even if he made mistakes.
Thus, Itachi would return to the kitchen to tend to the soup and was thrilled to find that Ta had self-corrected the few mistakes he'd made in Itachi's absence.
Itachi himself was like that as a child, preferring silence over companionship. How could he improve if someone was correcting his mistakes for him? And how could he learn if he didn't make mistakes? Adults who tried to teach him just reiterated the things he already knew and disrupted his thought process which was much further along than any of them realized. In the end, he found their help to be a waste of his time but would not say such things when they were merely trying to help.
It made perfect sense in his mind at the time but decades later he understood the feelings of uselessness his preschool and elementary teachers probably felt when trying to assist him. After all, how could he bond with Ta if he didn't want his help?
And in his misguided quest to connect with his nephew he overlooked the dinner he was preparing which had cooked for a little too long and harbored a strange aftertaste.
"What do you think?" He ventured to ask Ta.
Ta dipped his spoon into the bowl of tomato soup, held it to his lips and blew on it to cool it off. When he finally tasted it, he considered his answer for a moment and said "It's okay."
Thankfully tomato soup wasn't the only dish he'd worked to prepare even if it was meant to be the star of tonight's meal. He'd thought buy sliced cheese and a fresh loaf of bread to make grilled cheese sandwiches with to pair with the soup. And given the amount of soup Itachi made (expecting Ta to enjoy it was much as Sasuke would have), it would take them a while to get through the block of cheese and loaf of bread he'd bought.
"I'm sorry it didn't turn out so good." Itachi admitted halfway through their meal. Up until then the two were sitting in comfortable silence. "I promise I'm a better cook than this. I just got distracted today."
"You didn't have to help me earlier." Ta mumbled and took another bite of his grilled cheese.
Ouch. "I know. I should have listened." He smiled. "Was this your first time eating grilled cheese and tomato soup?"
Ta shook his head. "My mom makes it sometimes but hers tastes better."
This was new. Ta hadn't spoken of either of his parents until this very moment. "Your mom?" Itachi asked to make sure he hadn't misheard.
Ta nodded. "Just her tomato soup. Your grilled cheese tastes the same as hers do."
Do? Did this mean she was still alive? Itachi's heart and thoughts took off like someone sounded a starting gun at a dog race but he forced himself to stay calm. He didn't want to jump to conclusions too quickly for fear of scaring Ta into silence. And realistically, a preschoolers use of verb tenses couldn't be submitted as viable evidence here.
"Ta," He began as calmly as he could muster. But before he could vocalize the question, Ta cut him off with one of his own.
"Why do you keep calling me that?"
He blinked in surprise, taken aback by the unexpected question. "What?"
"My name is Itachi but you keep calling me Ta."
Alright. So this conversation was happening. Great. As much as Itachi wanted to rake his palms down his face he had to show restraint here. He'd made the same mistake earlier in public and had never broached the subject again. If he didn't tread lightly this exact scenario was bound to play out in public again and who knows what onlookers would think of him if they overhead this conversation happening.
He let out a sigh and quickly composed himself just as he did before a hearing. "I know." He said. "I call you Ta because my name is also Itachi. Don't you think it's a little strange to call each other by the same name?"
Ta shook his head.
Itachi pursed his lips and silently counted to ten. The longer he waited, the more time he had to calm his nerves and keep his emotions in check. "You may not think it's strange, but I think it's a little strange." He explained. "Earlier at the social services building, Keiri called your name but I thought she was talking to me. You see how that can be a little confusing?"
Ta nodded slowly. "But why does it matter?"
Inhale. Exhale. Be patient. Be kind. Be understanding. Be present. Was quickly becoming Itachi's new internal mantra. He began to repeat his earlier statement and realized midway that not many people would know that he and Ta shared the same name unless they knew them on a personal level. And the only people Itachi encountered on a daily basis were his fellow associates and clients who would rarely, if ever, meet his nephew in person. It wasn't the line of work that one would bring a child into. It was one thing for a teacher to bring their child into the classroom, or a police officer showing their kid around the station, but it would only spell boredom if Itachi brought Ta into the office to meet his equally boring coworkers who had too much to do to babysit Ta.
He then considered explaining how strange it would sound on the off chance when he would need to introduce Ta to his friends and acquaintances and explain why they share the same name. But then again, it wasn't uncommon for men to pass down their names to their sons hence the use of roman numerals and suffixes like Sr. and Jr. He could try that logic on Ta but didn't want to delve into a discussion about family heritage when he simply wanted to know more about Ta's mother. "Think of it like a nickname." He settled on and leaned back in his chair with his arms crossed.
"What if I don't like that nickname?" Ta retorted and also sat back in his chair with crossed arms.
He had a little negotiator on his hands, it seemed. That only spelled trouble and headache for him down the road. "There aren't many other things to call you besides Ta." He reasoned. "Plus, I like that nickname for you."
Ta didn't argue further. Instead, he asked "Then what do I call you?"
Fair. Itachi hadn't considered this before. What was Ta supposed to refer to him as? "You could call me uncle, or uncle Itachi." He suggested.
"What about Itachi?"
Itachi waved his hand dismissively. "If you don't think it's strange, that works too." He said. It bothered him slightly that calling him "Uncle Itachi" or simply "uncle" wasn't enough to appease Ta. But he didn't let it show.
"What about 'Tachi?"
'Tachi. That was a name he hadn't heard in a very long time and with it came a wave of flashbacks that clouded his vision. Flashbacks of a Sasuke in diapers, who had just learned how to walk, tugging on the hem of his shirt calling out "'Tachi! 'Tachi!" and falling back onto his butt.
"Sasuke," their mother would coo, sitting between them, "say "I-tachi!"
But Sasuke would still default to calling him "'Tachi" for years to come until he could properly say it.
"NO." Itachi answered a little more aggressively than he'd intended to. "Just…"
"'Tachi can I sleep with you? I'm scared."
"Just call me Itachi." And because his head was starting to spill he stepped away from the table and began collecting the plates from dinner. He hadn't asked Ta if he wanted another grilled cheese but Ta hadn't asked for another. Itachi knew that the longer he sat still in his current state, the more likely he was to lose his temper.
He expected Ta to ask him why but he didn't. He just handed Itachi his plate when he passed by and slid off his chair. He watched Itachi clean up the table but said nothing more as he pushed in his chair and returned to the sofa where he laid his dictionary.
"Good job. Day one of being a guardian and I'm already losing my temper." He thought bitterly as he opened the dishwasher.
On top of the edging nausea and the random flashbacks he still hadn't learned anything about Ta's mother. He tightly clenched his fists and let his shoulders drop with a sigh. He was being too impatient and needed to take time to get to know Ta before fishing for details about his home life. He'd made the careless mistake to assign him a nickname that, for all he knew, carried the same weight as "'Tachi" carried for him. But unlike him, Ta remained stoic and carried on with his day while Itachi completely shattered and bloodied his hands to pick up the broken shards. He never knew how Ta truly felt about the nickname but he'd have to climb over that hurdle before tackling the bigger questions at hand.
"How do I fix this?" He sighed as he continued to load the dishwasher. By the time he finished he prayed he'd find an answer to that.
[A/N]: I'm working on chapter 11. Give me maybe a week. *fingers crossed*