Disclaimer: I don't own the Grisha Trilogy and its characters – it belongs to Leigh Bardugo. I do not own the Shadow & Bone TV series, which was developed by Eric Heisserer for Netflix and based on Leigh Bardugo's books. Any recognisable dialogue is from the books or TV show – some lines may be included verbatim, others in an amended form.
podrostok
Alina is thirteen when the news of a Sun Summoner finally escapes the palace walls.
They've had close calls over the years. A noble who caught a glimpse of Alina in her distinctive black and gold kefta, who had to be carefully manipulated by a Heartrender until his mind was hazy enough that he believed he'd only seen the king. Two servants overheard discussing whether they might be able to make some money by being the first to reveal the Sun Summoner's existence, who disappeared into the dungeons and were never spoken of again. An ambassador from Shu Han who swore she saw lights in the gardens one evening and thankfully believed the story that it was some of the Grisha students testing their new fireworks.
A month after Alina's thirteenth birthday, however, their luck finally runs out.
One of the servants meets his visiting cousin for a drink. Too much alcohol loosens the man's tongue and he is soon boasting that he has seen the Sun Summoner in the Grand Palace and witnessed her use her power.
The story spreads light wildfire through the town, and although the oprichniki manage to apprehend both the servant and his cousin relatively quickly, it is too late to suppress the news.
Fedyor hasn't seen the king so furious since the day that his shadows formed a Cut which viciously sliced the old king's head from his shoulders.
The servant is deposited in the Little Palace dungeons, his screams ringing out for hours as a warning to all in the vicinity of what the consequences are for invoking the king's displeasure and endangering the Sun Summoner.
Alina is confined to her rooms in the Grand Palace for the time being, guards at every conceivable entrance. She isn't happy about it, not at all, but one look at the king's dark expression clearly lets her know that now is not the time to start complaining.
They are all on lockdown for nearly a week, until a proper strategy has been confirmed to deal with the situation, new guard rotations have been finalised and the over-excited people who have flooded Os Alta have been calmed and dispersed.
The palace is almost overwhelmed by the volume of letters and gifts that arrive for the Sun Summoner – requesting blessings, demanding her presence at the Shadow Fold, proposing marriage (they burn those letters before the king sees them), asking that she intercede on their behalf with the king, suggesting she meet with ambassadors.
The king sends out a notice, confirming that the Sun Summoner has been found but informing the country that she is still training and will not be undertaking any pilgrimages or blessings at this time.
It is impossible to keep everyone away, though.
So, Genya finally gets her wish, with a chance to dress the Sun Summoner for a demonstration and celebratory ball.
It is nothing so ridiculously lavish as the old king's irritating Winter Fetes, but the king invites nobles, ambassadors and even a select few merchants from the city to witness the Sun Summoner's presentation.
Fedyor can tell that Alina is nervous, although she tries to hide it. She's used to the Grisha and the oprichniki and the palace servants, but she has no experience of nobility or ambassadors, and has never had to put her powers on display this way.
Genya gives her a crash course in the etiquette she'll need to know. It is clearly frustrating for her but a little amusing for Fedyor to watch as the Sun Summoner scowls at place settings, walks up and down the room with a pile of books on her head for the purposes of improving her posture (that ends with her throwing one of the books at Genya's head, so he's not sure how successful it could be considered) and practices small talk (she still sounds rather stilted, but at least she's stopped asking if she's allowed to blind any rude guests).
She'll be ok, he thinks. Her schedule will be very tightly managed since the king is conscious that, despite their rigorous checks, someone on the guest list could well turn out to be an assassin sent by one of their enemies to kill the Sun Summoner before she is able to enter the Shadow Fold. She won't need to arrive in the Throne Room until her demonstration and, once that has been completed, she'll stay only about an hour to meet people before she returns to the safety of her rooms.
"What if I can't do it?" Alina whispers to him the day before the ball, "what if I stand there and nothing happens?"
It's ridiculous, of course. Alina is indisputably the Sun Summoner and he has seen her summon light with ease countless times over the past five years.
It's stage fright, he knows. There is a reason the king had always hated the Winter Fete that the Grisha were forced to participate in when the old king was on the throne – it made them all feel like performing monkeys, simply there to entertain the nobility, needing to be seen as useful and amusing without scaring anyone with what they could do.
This is different. A show of power, a reminder to their enemies that they have both the Shadow and Sun Summoners together, ready to protect Ravka.
Still, it's a lot of pressure to place on a child. Better that it is now, rather than when she was only eight, but thirteen still isn't really old enough to have to be subjected to the judgmental stares of Ravka's nobility and all the ambassadors who have managed to make the trip.
"We'll all be right there with you," he promises, "and you know we won't let you fail."
She nods, although she still looks a little unsure.
"Why don't you go and find Nina and I'll see if I can persuade the cook to let us make a cake for the two of you to have after dinner."
Alina beams and scampers off to find her friend, all trace of worries gone.
He knows he's let himself in for a few hours of baking chaos, and probably a few glares from the kitchen staff, but he's glad to see Alina smile.
After all, if it makes her forget all the stress building up inside her about the ball, even if just for a while, then he thinks it will be more than worth it.
-x-x-x-
When Fedyor arrives to collect Alina for the ball, he finds himself struck by her appearance.
She looks lovely, her skin glowing and her hair neatly tied back into a bun adorned with gold hair combs, with shimmering gold around her eyes. Genya has outdone herself, even if Alina doesn't seem too pleased.
"It's heavy," she complains, shifting from side to side.
"You'll get used to it," he tells her, patting her shoulder in consolation.
She's never had to wear a formal kefta before. It doesn't weigh as much as the winter ones they wear in the field, but it is certainly more cumbersome than the day-to-day keftas worn when at the palace.
"And my head itches," she continues, "Genya stuck a hundred pins in my hair."
He tries not to laugh, "I'm sure it's not quite that many."
"It is so," she mutters, starting to prod at her hair as she attempts to count the pins.
He grasps her hands quickly and pulls them away from her head, knowing Genya will murder him if Alina's hairstyle is ruined before she even gets to the Throne Room, "why don't you count them later, dorogoy, after the demonstration."
Thankfully she agrees and she takes his arm so that they can head to the side room where she will wait until her demonstration. Fedyor is relieved that Genya has found some sturdy little boots for her to wear, rather than the ridiculous heeled shoes so many of the noble ladies favour, because the last thing they need is her tripping over before she's even reached the Throne Room.
"You look very grown up, Alina," he tells her as he settles her into the side room with a few of the oprichniki.
She brightens at his words, "old enough to try the big jumps when I go riding?"
"Don't push your luck," he warns her, "I still don't like how fast you go."
"Sash – the king says I'm almost ready to have one of his horses."
"Saints preserve me," Fedyor mutters.
The king's horses are magnificent creatures, but they are all bred for war and speed. The thought of how much trouble Alina could get into riding one of those horses makes him shudder.
He wishes her luck and then heads into the busy Throne Room.
Truth be told, he'd rather be waiting with Alina, away from the nobles and ambassadors. Unfortunately, he needs to do his job and that means paying attention to the mutterings and whispers he hears from the guests.
Unfortunately, they are all being careful with their words tonight, despite the copious amounts of alcohol many of them are drinking, well aware that security is tight, and curious about how a Sun Summoner might change any plans they've previously had brewing.
The room goes quiet when the king enters, shadows curling around his feet.
Fedyor notices a few of the jumpier nobles trying to discretely step backwards, keen to be as far away from the Shadow Summoner as possible. Many of the nobles don't know quite how to react to their king – his looks and his charisma draw them towards him, even as his control of the shadows and his dangerous reputation make them skittish around him.
Once the king is settled onto his obsidian throne, everyone seems to relax a little, conversations picking up again as a few of the military commanders make their way over to the throne to speak with the king. He might be a foreboding figure, but most of the otkazat'sya generals (the ones that aren't corrupt, at least) much prefer his rule to the old king's – there are still many wars to fight but the First Army is far better led and equipped than it was previously.
Half an hour passes by quickly enough.
Fedyor manages to pick up a few useful pieces of information, making a note to recommend that one of the ambassador's aides from Shu Han should be more closely watched, and that they should try and find a time to search the Fjerdan ambassador's rooms, since it seems like the man might be concealing closer links to the Drüskelle than he wants them to think.
He even finds time for a brief but pleasant diversion with Ivan, persuading him to try some of the delicacies on offer and managing to coax a smile out of his usually serious husband.
And then the king is standing on the dais, gesturing to the staircase and announcing the Sun Summoner to the world.
Alina walks down the stairs with confidence and grace. Having known her for five years, Fedyor can tell that she is trembling slightly beneath her placid mask, but most of them room won't notice that.
As she reaches the bottom of the stairs and begins to walk towards the dais, he can see her calm slightly. He glances over at the king and sees the man nod reassuringly at Alina.
An oprichnik offers her a hand to climb up to the dais, and then the king throws his arms wide, shadows extinguishing all the lights and darkening the room.
There are cries of alarm from a few people, those who have never witnessed the king's power first-hand, but they are quickly shushed by the other guests, who are eager for the Sun Summoner's demonstration.
"She is Alina Starkova," the king says with a flourish, "and she is going to change the world."
He moves to the side and Alina steps forward, a little pale but otherwise composed.
She starts her demonstration with something almost delicate, calling the light and then splitting it so half a dozen orbs spin around above her.
But then they come together, the light forming a huge shape that almost crackles and sparks in between her hands, as if she is holding a miniature sun in her grasp.
The light grows and grows, so bright that they all have to shield their eyes. Only the king, shrouded in his shadows, can stand to look directly at her.
And then the light explodes outwards, obliterating every trace of darkness in the room and leaving Alina standing on the dais, her skin glowing slightly.
She looks magnificent.
Fedyor wonders, briefly, if this is how fathers feel when they watch their children dazzle a room.
This fierce pride making him grin widely and itch to applaud loudly.
Ivan rolls his eyes, but his expression is fond and Fedyor knows he is impressed with Alina too.
All around him, men and women are kneeling on the ground, or standing and crossing themselves. Murmurs of 'Sankta Alina' echo throughout the room.
Fedyor feels an overwhelming urge to copy them. To fall to the ground in front of the shining figure on the dais.
Except … this isn't some distant saint.
This is Alina.
Alina, who is looking out at the awestruck crowd with an expression that is both baffled and terrified.
Alina, who is thirteen years old and being proclaimed a living saint.
He catches her eye, smiles at her, tries to be reassuring.
Next to him, he notices Ivan nod in approval at her. He imagines that the small gesture means a lot to her, coming from someone as exacting and strict as his husband.
She doesn't truly relax, though, until she meets the king's gaze. Fedyor cannot see what passes between the two of them in the seconds where they make eye contact, but it certainly helps Alina, giving her enough confidence to smile out at the crowd.
A few minutes later, Fedyor thanks the saints for the king's fearsome glare and the eagle-eyed oprichniki as Alina begins her circuit of the room.
He can see people reaching out, trying to touch her hand or hair or kefta. They like to think they are so superior to the peasants, and yet when faced with a girl they consider a living saint, the nobles are greedy and eager to get close, to beg for blessings, to try and find some measure of fame or fortune through proximity with her.
To her credit, Alina doesn't really show how uneasy she is, although there is a stiffness in her body that lets Fedyor know that she's feeling uncomfortable.
When the king nods to Fedyor, indicating that Alina can leave, he sees the girl slump slightly in relief.
She smiles demurely and waves like the good little saint most people in the room expect her to be, but as soon as they are away from the Throne Room, she tugs the golden pins and hair combs out of her hair, slipping them into the pocket of her kefta and sighing happily as she shakes her hair loose.
Then, she throws her arms wide and spins around as Fedyor tries to corral her towards her room. Clearly, she's got a lot of pent-up energy but the last thing they need is some noble or dignitary taking a wrong turn and stumbling upon the Sun Summoner behaving in a way that would shock most of the pompous guests.
Considering her recent show of power, he isn't surprised that she's so keyed up, practically skipping down the corridor as she tries to persuade him to let her go for a moonlit ride.
She pouts a little when he insists she stay in her room to ensure she doesn't accidentally meet any of the guests without proper accompaniment, but she perks up when they return to her rooms and find Nina waiting with a pile of waffles covered in melted shokolad.
"Saints, I'm hungry," Alina exclaims as she sits down at the table and pulls one of the waffles towards her, biting into it with relish.
Fedyor leaves the two of them to their feast, satisfied they will be safe with the four oprichniki posted at the door.
He heads back to the ball with a smile on his face, glad the demonstration has all gone to plan.
And who knows, maybe he'll be able to persuade Ivan to sneak away early with him and make the evening even more fun.
As promised, Alina is allowed to progress to a few of the easier obstacles when she goes riding.
And, thankfully for his peace of mind, Fedyor is permitted to excuse himself from these excursions.
Sometimes, Alina is joined by Nina Zenik (who shouts raucous encouragement from the side of the paddock as Alina guides her horse over the jumps), plenty of guards and one of the older Heartrenders for good measure.
At other times, the king himself accompanies her, the two of them riding through the ancient woodland within the palace walls with some oprichniki and practicing Alina's mastery of the Cut in one of the clearings.
It's rather disconcerting, to think of little Alina creating a blade of light capable of slicing through trees (or people). He's so used to seeing her giggle and smile as she summons, or entertain the littlest Grisha by making shapes out of her light, that it's hard to realise that she's also learning how to maim and kill with her power.
Light is beautiful, after all, but it can also be blinding and scorching and just as dangerous as the king's shadows.
Things were simpler when she was younger, when the idea of her facing the Fold was more a distant future event rather than something that seems to get closer and closer every day.
He shudders to think what it would be like if the old king had been on the throne, pushing and pressuring Alina to tear down the Fold and solve all his problems.
At least now she has time to grow and learn and ready herself for the daunting task that faces her.
She is so impressive already, her control of her light dazzling everyone who watches her practice.
Still, the Shadow Fold is a intimidating thing, so vast and almost crackling with the anger and sorrow that legends say went into its creation.
And Alina is only a girl. Remarkable and powerful and unique, but not yet ready to face the Fold.
There's still time, he reminds himself, still the chance for her to have something resembling a childhood.
Unlike so many people in Ravka, Fedyor doesn't pray to Alina. He prays for her.
On a number of occasions, Fedyor tries to bring up the Shadow Fold with Alina.
He still remembers their conversation, the one where she'd let slip a little of the contents of one of her talks with the king.
The idea of moving the Fold rather than destroying it.
Alina is wary now, though, tight-lipped whenever he tries to ask her about it. If she keeps on discussing the idea with the king, then she certainly doesn't let Fedyor know.
However, he can't stop thinking about it.
All his life he has believed the Shadow Fold to be a blight on their country. When Alina arrived, he had rejoiced with the other Grisha, fully believing that, when the time came, she would tear down the entire Fold and the country would be at peace.
Now, he isn't so sure.
It's true that it will unite the country, stop the potential civil war with West Ravka that has been simmering for the last decade or two.
But it's also the case that the Fold has the potential to be a powerful and effective tool, if the king is able to enter it safely with Alina's help. As much as he balks at the idea of engulfing villages and towns with the Fold, he also knows that war necessitates sacrifice.
Besides, surely the idea of the Fold being moved into their land is a powerful enough deterrent to make Shu Han and Fjerda think twice about sending soldiers into Ravka. It could be a peaceful sort of stalemate, giving Ravka breathing room it so desperately needs in order to recover from the damage that the excesses of the Lantsov Dynasty have wrought.
He knows that he's still not entirely ready to give up on the old dream that destroying the Shadow Fold will mean they can all live in peace, even if he knows it is idealistic.
Still, the idea of using rather than destroying the Shadow Fold is something that might bear thinking about.
When Alina doesn't turn up for dinner one day, not long after her fourteenth birthday, Fedyor heads to the Grand Palace to see if she's got caught up studying.
As he is passing the king's receiving room, the door suddenly swings open and Alina storms out, heading towards her own room.
Fedyor briefly wonders if he should ask the king what has happened, but when the door slams shut again, he thinks it best to follow Alina instead.
He finds her in her room, tossing pillows against the wall as tears stream down her face.
His first thought is that he is going to kill whoever has hurt her.
His second thought is that it may have been the king himself who made her angry, and that might put a damper on his desire to enact revenge on Alina's behalf.
"Alina?" he asks softly, "what happened?"
She turns to look at him, swiping her tears away and trying to look composed.
"It's nothing," she mumbles.
Fedyor gestures to the pile of crumpled pillows, "clearly it isn't."
"Anatoly asked me to study with him yesterday evening. It was nice, working with someone else, and Anatoly is really clever. And then he walked me back afterwards and …"
She trails off, blushing furiously, and Fedyor realises what she isn't saying.
Her first kiss.
Saints, he feels old. It seems like only yesterday that she was a tiny hellion running through the halls and rolling in the mud.
(she still does that now, but not quite as often).
"Well, as long as you were happy for it to happen then I don't think there's anything to worry about," he says.
Alina only shakes her head, "I was so pleased to see him again today, but he didn't even look at me."
She lets out a loud sob then, "I tried to talk to him at lunch and he actually ran away from me. And Zoya laughed at me and then I had to stop Nina from giving her a nosebleed and I couldn't concentrate in combat training so Master Botkin made me meditate, but all I could think about was Anatoly fleeing the room like I was some kind of monster."
Fedyor frowns. Anatoly is a nice boy, about a year older than Alina, a Durast who is almost as bright as David Kostyk, if a little more sociable. This behaviour doesn't seem like him at all.
"Maybe I could talk to him," he tries to suggest, "find out what happened."
And, if he deserves it, scare him a little to make him regret hurting Alina, Fedyor thinks to himself.
Alina's face screws up in frustration, "but I know what happened."
Fedyor thinks of her anger as she ran out of the king's receiving room, the way the door had been slammed when she left, and who might have the power to force such a change in how Anatoly behaved around Alina.
Saints, what a mess.
"He said Anatoly was a distraction and I was too young to go on dates," Alina scowls.
Fedyor sighs. On one hand, he can understand that the king doesn't want the Sun Summoner getting romantically attached when it won't really be able to go anywhere.
Like calls to like. Some cultures have fairytales about soulmates, and while Ravka doesn't believe in such things, it's easy enough to see that there is a connection between the Shadow and Sun Summoners that probably surpasses any other connection the two might try to form elsewhere. It might be platonic now, but when Alina gets older it will probably be only a matter of time before that changes.
In his own way, Fedyor thinks the king is simply trying to spare Alina some pain.
On the other hand, she is only fourteen. There is nothing wrong with her wanting to hold hands, study in the library and kiss someone her own age. Personally, he thinks it might be good for her.
The king, however, clearly thinks otherwise.
And the king's word, as they all know, is law.
Fedyor cannot promise Alina anything, cannot fix this or make it better.
He can only sneak into the kitchen to find the hidden stash of ingredients to make her hot shokolad, try to distract her with tales of his training mishaps and listen as she brainstorms hypothetical and increasingly ridiculous ways to get back at the king for scaring Anatoly away.
It turns out to be a surprisingly fun evening in the end, but Fedyor recognises the look in Alina's eyes.
She's not going to let this go.
-x-x-x-
For nearly three months, Alima studiously ignores the king.
She refuses his invitations to go riding, gives one-word answers to his questions when he asks about her training, feigns illness to avoid their regular dinners, turns away when she passes him in the corridor.
It's a rather impressive form of psychological warfare, especially because the king is clearly reluctant to use any of his usual, more forceful methods of persuasion to make her talk to him.
Fedyor is fairly sure that no one else would dare to behave in such a way with the infamous Black Tsar, but Alina has leeway that others do not, as well as a streak of stubbornness that makes her determined not to back down.
In meetings, the king is more irritable and demanding than usual, his constant and complicated orders making even Fedyor's usually unflappable husband rub his face in frustration.
(Fedyor loses count of the number of nights he gives his Vanya head massages, attempting to reduce the number of stress headaches he is suffering from).
Servants and Grisha in the palaces start to avoid their king if they can manage it. One day he even overhears a few Inferni drawing lots to decide who has to go and deliver their report. Nobles are unusually quiet during audiences and the ambassadors walk on eggshells, afraid of provoking the Black Tsar's temper.
Alina isn't at her best either. No matter her fury, Fedyor knows she enjoys time spent with the king debating Grisha theory, learning about governance, riding out in the grounds and practicing her summoning.
Just as the king is clearly irritated about his Sun Summoner's silent treatment, so she is distressed at the need for her to go to such drastic lengths.
The stalemate continues, the occupants of both palaces almost holding their breath to wait and see what happens.
Eventually, one of the king's notes to Alina is worded as an order for her to attend dinner, rather than an invitation she can simply refuse.
She goes, stomping the whole way, eerily reminiscent of her eight-year-old self in a strop.
The doors to the king's rooms remain firmly shut for nearly four hours. Fedyor stays away, knowing he'll only pace anxiously if he waits, but he later hears one oprichnik murmur to another about a broken vase and a shattered statue in the king's rooms.
When it is over, however, Alina and the king appear to have reached some sort of truce.
It is a little awkward for a few days, their conversations stilted and, at least on Alina's part, a little unsure.
They're back in old habits soon enough, however. Out riding like lunatics, Alina's arms thrown wide as her horse gallops at a speed that makes Fedyor wince. Talking quietly together in the king's personal library as Alina admires the newest maps their cartographers have prepared. Summoning in one of the courtyards.
And Alina starts to sit in on council meetings too, silent but attentive (for the most part, and Fedyor can't blame her for getting bored when Lord Popov starts droning on – the man is a complete bore), clearly being prepared for a future leadership role.
Still, Fedyor spots her in the library with Anatoly a few times, the two of them sitting close and laughing together. He even catches them kissing once, feeling a sudden urge to interrupt and give Anatoly a lecture before he realises he's being a little too overprotective and leaves them to it.
On the surface, it seems like Alina has got everything she wants. She's no longer arguing with the king, and she's somehow persuaded him to let her spend time with Anatoly.
And yet ... Fedyor sees how she still gravitates towards the king before everyone else. He sees her smile with Anatoly but shine when she and the king summon together. This first teenage crush is sweet but is clearly not serious, obviously lacking in longevity.
In the end, he thinks the king gets what he wants too.
Fedyor arrives back from a week away and is a little disgruntled to find Ivan is in the middle of a meeting with the king that will likely last the rest of the day.
Sighing, he goes instead to find Alina, finding her giggling with Nina and Genya in her room.
Alina's hair is an emerald green that matches a pile of silk Nina is holding in her hand. The colour is a little patchy, Alina's natural dark colour showing in some places, but it isn't a bad job, even if it isn't exactly the kind of subtle look Genya uses when she Tailors spies.
They turn at his entrance, smiling and shouting happy greetings.
"Come and sit down, Fedyor," Genya entreats him, "I'm teaching Nina a little Tailoring and she could do with someone else to practice on."
"Are you going to be able to fix it?" he asks warily.
Genya rolls her eyes and runs her hands through Alina's hair with a darker silk scarf, the green bleeding away from Alina's hair, replaced instead by a shiny black closer to her own natural colour.
"Happy?" she asks him.
Fedyor nods, still a little concerned – Genya might be an expert but even she may struggle to easily right an error made by an enthusiastic amateur like Nina.
He subjects himself with decent grace to having his hair changed to blue and then red and then some hideous combination of purple and orange that makes him cringe when he looks in the mirror.
However, he draws the line when Nina asks to try changing his eyes. Hair is one thing but amending the colour of someone's eyes is an advanced aspect of Tailoring that it took Genya three years to learn.
Fedyor loves Nina, he really does, but he isn't quite ready to risk his eyes.
The girl pouts something terrible but she does change his hair back to its usual dark shade without an issue.
It's only later, when he's finally back in his room and reunited with Ivan, that he realises Nina – the little monster – hasn't entirely fixed his hair.
"What in the name of the saints happened to the back of your head?" Ivan asks, handing Fedyor a hand mirror as he stands in front of their full-length mirror so that he can see the stripes of purple and orange still on a section of his hair.
Oh, he's going to kill Nina Zenik.
Fedyor hurries towards the king's War Room in the Grand Palace.
He's been away for a week on a mission and an oprichnik found him as soon as he returned, imparting the news that there had been an incident during Alina's class with Botkin, and that the king wishes to see him immediately.
An 'incident' could mean anything, but oprichniki are notoriously tight-lipped and Fedyor knows he won't get any answers until he sees the king.
The War Room door is opened for him without him even needing to ask, and Fedyor takes in the scene in front of him.
Alina is curled up in what looks like one of the king's keftas, fast asleep on the divan.
Meanwhile, the king is working at his desk, his shadows surrounding Alina as a barrier to prevent her being disturbed by the lamps in the room.
"What happened?" Fedyor whispers.
The king looks up, his expression cold, "it appears that Miss Nazyalensky made the unwise decision to use her powers after Alina managed to beat her when they sparred earlier today."
"What!" Fedyor hisses.
Botkin's cardinal rule is that powers are never to be used during combat training. Zoya is sixteen and should certainly know much better.
"She'll be leaving for Tsibeya tomorrow," the Darkling tells him, "I wouldn't tolerate that sort of behaviour in normal circumstances, and especially not when it could have harmed my Sun Summoner. Alina will be excused from lessons for the next two days – the Healers assure me they have dealt with all the damage, but I'd like to be cautious."
"Of course, moi tsar," Fedyor nods and then takes a step forward, gesturing to Alina, "should I take her back to her room?"
The king waves him off, "no need, I have to speak with her before she leaves. I just wanted you to be aware of the situation."
Sensing his dismissal, Fedyor goes to leave. When he reaches the door, he turns back just as the king stands and moves over to settle on the other end of the divan next to Alina.
The Shadow Summoner shakes her shoulders gently, "time to wake up, Alinochka."
Alina mumbles a word Fedyor can't quite make out, something like 'sash', and then opens her eyes, blinking blearily.
The king touches her face briefly and she almost leans into him. Not for the first time, Fedyor feels like he's intruding – there is a bond between the Shadow and Sun Summoners that no one else can ever quite puzzle out. It should probably concern Fedyor a little – he's never seen anything inappropriate, but Alina is only fourteen – and yet he knows there is nothing he can do, no way he can confront his king about it.
He sighs and closes the door behind him.
Better to leave them to it.
He's been looking for Alina for almost half an hour and is starting to get a little concerned.
She's not in the gardens or the stables, not with Nina in the Little Palace or tucked away in the king's personal library.
There are no oprichniki running around like headless chickens looking for her, though, and no sense of urgency in the palace that suggests she's vanished. He thinks she must be around somewhere, if only he knew where to search.
He hears her as he passes by the king's personal sitting room.
"You have to sit still," she says, almost imperiously, "I'm trying to get your nose right."
"My apologies, milaya," he hears the king too now, an amused note in his voice.
Fedyor peeks through the crack in the doorway. The king is sitting in a chair, still as a statue. Alina stands at her easel, her gaze going back and forth between her canvas and the subject of her painting.
Fedyor gapes a little, he has to admit.
In the years since he took the throne, numerous painters have offered to do a portrait of the king, seeking the fame and fortune such a commission might bring them. The king has always refused – he has no patience for it, and rumour has it the last artist who painted him did such a bad job that the Shadow Summoner tortured him for a week before finally killing him.
Personally, Fedyor thinks that story is ridiculous, but what he does know is that he never expected the king to sit for the hours required to produce a realistic portrait.
Nevertheless, if he was going to allow anyone to do it, then it would be Alina.
Fedyor decides to leave them to it, not wanting to disturb Alina's work.
He just hopes he'll get a look at the finished product.
Alina is almost vibrating with excitement as the servants load up the carriage and Fedyor thinks it is only a warning look from the king that stops her from literally jumping up and down.
He supposes he cannot really blame her. Aside from her unauthorised trip to the Os Alta market four years previously, Alina hasn't left the palace walls in the seven years since she arrived. It makes sense that she is very enthusiastic about actually going out of Os Alta.
It stings a little that he hadn't realised she was dreaming of Morozova's Stag until this expedition had been organised, hurts that she hadn't thought to confide in him before she mentioned the dreams to the king and he swore her to silence.
Fedyor knows that he is being ridiculous, that Alina talks to him about so many other things that he shouldn't feel slighted because she didn't mention a few dreams that she probably thought meant nothing until she spoke to the king about them.
It's just that he sometimes misses those early days, when Alina confided in him about everything and anything, babbling excitedly about whatever was on her mind. He's aware this is just a part of her growing up, but … saints, he really has turned into such a parent.
He watches her argue briefly with the king before getting into the carriage rather than riding on one of the horses like she clearly wants to.
They really do grow up fast. It makes him a little misty-eyed, and he swipes his hand across his face before anyone can see.
Little Alina, not really so little anymore, and preparing for the journey that will hopefully give her an amplifier.
Fedyor really is very proud of her.
-x-x-x-
Two weeks later, they are in frozen Tsibeya, still searching for Morozova's Stag.
"These trackers are useless," he mutters to himself as he rubs his hands together over the fire.
He's being a little more uncharitable than usual. After all, the trackers have managed to find them decent meals each day. When it comes to finding the Stag, however, they seem to be clueless.
Oddly, the king doesn't seem concerned by their lack of progress.
Every morning, he and Alina speak together for about half an hour, and then he tells them which direction they will be going that day.
Fedyor's theory is that they are moving around solely based on Alina's dreams. He isn't entirely sure if this is going to pay off any time soon, but he hopes they'll find something in the next few days because he's cold and what he really wants right now is a steaming bath and twenty-four hours of uninterrupted time with Ivan.
Despite the situation, no one dares to show any sort of discomfort or irritation with their lack of progress, rightly wary of irritating the king.
After all, he's left the palaces under Ivan's command for this mission, so he clearly considers it important.
And Fedyor knows that's right, is well aware that getting Alina an amplifier will be a big step in the journey to ensuring she is strong enough to safely enter the Shadow Fold.
He just really wishes they could find the Stag sooner rather than later.
-x-x-x-
When Fedyor wakes, it is still dark, but there are shouts and arguments echoing around their camp.
He pulls his kefta and boots on and exits his tent, finding half their company running round and the king, in the middle of it all, with a black look on his face.
"The Sun Summoner's gone," an Inferni named Alyona tells him, "no one knows where she is."
Fedyor blanches. There is a watch all night, always two guards outside Alina's tent. How in the name of all the saints could someone have taken her?
"She went of her own accord," he hears the king's voice, angry and concerned at the same time, behind him, "one set of footprints."
"I noticed her talking to David about bending the light to make objects invisible," Fedyor whispers, "it was only a month or so ago, though."
"I doubt she has true proficiency yet," the king says, "but all she needed was to hold the illusion for long enough to get into the trees."
"Why would she do that?"
Fedyor can't understand it. Alina knows the dangers that lurk in these woods and he thinks that she trusts them, so why go off by herself?
The only reason he could think of was that she had another dream and somehow interpreted it as her needing to find the Stag on her own. Which, of course, she would try and do, stubborn girl that she is.
The king doesn't say much, but Fedyor imagines he has come to a similar conclusion.
The Shadow Summoner seems tense with barely-leashed fury, ready to take someone's head off with the Cut if they say anything he doesn't like.
And so Fedyor carefully picks the most serious and sensible of their group to accompany him and the king as they follow Alina's footprints in the snow. Better to have people who know when to stay quiet and not antagonise the country's most powerful Grisha.
They follow the tracks in silence for almost fifteen minutes before they come across Alina in a clearing.
Relief floods through Fedyor. She is here. She is safe.
Alina is kneeling in the snow, two antler pieces clutched in her hands.
Morozova's Stag is nowhere to be seen.
"Alina," the king demands, "what were you thinking?"
"It was calling me," she whispers, sounding almost dreamy, "it wanted me to come alone."
"You could have been killed," the king rages, "or kidnapped or injured. You cannot just wander off like that!"
Fedyor thinks there is something else in his anger, something deeper than simply concern for the Sun Summoner's safety, but he can't quite figure out what it is.
Alina holds up her hands, "I got the amplifier," she says simply.
"Where is the body?" Fedyor asks, confused at the lack of blood stains in the snow and no sign of the magnificent stag.
"I didn't need to kill the Stag," Alina admits softly, "there was a different way."
She looks directly at the king as she speaks, and for a moment they seem to communicate without words, the king's hard gaze softening slightly before he nods, "we need to get back to the camp and David can fashion your amplifier for you."
On the way back to the camp, Alina is a little hyper and keyed-up.
It's a familiar look, one Fedyor has seen on a number of Grisha who have received amplifiers. He remembers Ivan, right after he claimed his claw from the Sherborn bear, with a similar excited triumph shining in his eyes, power almost shimmering in the air.
Even the king cannot resist her good mood, smiling fondly at her even as he lectures her severely on how she cannot disregard safety protocols.
Everyone back at the camp breathes a collective sigh of relief when they return with the Sun Summoner safe and sound, especially when she reveals her new amplifier.
Alina and David murmur together for a few minutes before she hands over the antler pieces and then holds her right wrist out for him.
It is the work of only a few moments for David to fasten the antler bones around her wrist, giving Alina a new and exceptionally powerful bracelet.
Fedyor can feel it when the amplifier's power connects with Alina. He's sure they all can.
The power crackling around them reminds him of when Ivan claimed his amplifier, except it is magnified and almost unbearable.
They get no other warning before Alina lights up and they have to look away or risk being blinded by her power.
She shines like the sun, like a supernova, like the saint the people call her.
It is beautiful and terrifying at the same time.
The light fades away eventually, although Fedyor can't be sure if seconds or minutes or even hours have passed.
She sways slightly and the king strides forward to catch her before she can slump to the ground, cradling her gently as he carries her towards his own horse.
Their carriage is back at the nearest town, unable to cope with the winding, rough paths in this area of Tsibeya. Horses will be quicker, anyway, and they'll want to move as fast as possible because Alina's light show must surely have been seen from miles away.
Their camp is collapsed in less than five minutes and then they ride away, Alina fast asleep and leaning back against the king as he urges his horse to move faster.
They get lucky, Fedyor thinks.
No interruptions, no Drüskelle, no curious peasants.
They have to make a detour twice when they hear noises, but it barely affects their travel time and doesn't make any real difference to their journey.
The ride is long, though, and they are all aching and tired when they make it back to the town.
It would be nice, he thinks, to be able to stop and stay the night at an inn. The king is eager to return to the palace, though, and unwilling to have his Sun Summoner stay for any length of time in an unsecured area.
Thankfully, Fedyor is lucky enough to be assigned to sit in the carriage with the still-slumbering Alina. If he can't have an actual bed, at least he can have a relatively comfortable seat.
Soon he'll be back at the palace, with Ivan and a warm bed and the chance to walk around without having to wear all his winter clothes at once.
He's looking forward to it.
Over the next few months, Fedyor often finds Alina practicing her invisibility.
She trains so that she can hold the veil of light that hides her from view even as she is moving, without the tell-tale shimmer that could give away her position.
Nina volunteers when Alina also wants to try making other people invisible as well as herself, laughing uproariously when different parts of her body disappear from view.
The amplifier helps Alina make rapid progress, until she is able to make herself and a group of half a dozen others disappear from view.
It drives the oprichniki crazy, adding another stress to their job. After all, it's hard to keep an eye on a girl who can hide in plain sight whenever she wants to.
Thankfully, Alina generally follows the king's order for her to keep her vanishing act to training sessions, only occasionally misusing her invisibility so that she can sneak herself and Nina to the kitchens for hot shokolad and waffles.
Fedyor does try to remind her that one of her oprichniki will usually be happy to fetch waffles for her if she wants them (she's curiously hard to deny, this Sun Summoner with the wide smile who always remembers the names of all her guards and asks after their families) but she only shrugs and says it's fun to sneak off sometimes, plus Nina often seems to eat her weight in waffles and it isn't fair to make the oprichniki carry all of that.
Alina's progress is helped by Baghra, whose method of teaching seems to involve goading the Sun Summoner into more and more impressive feats.
"She said I couldn't do it," Alina cries triumphantly after she manages to hide herself and the entirety of Baghra's hut from view, but I showed her!"
Baghra is smirking slightly in the background. It is clear that she absolutely believed Alina could do it, but thought the girl would work better with a little spite as motivation.
Fedyor really doesn't understand the relationship Alina and Baghra have. It's full of insults and taunts and yet he senses something almost approaching warmth there too.
The whole thing is made even funnier by the fact that the king appears a little alarmed by this behaviour, as if he never expected Baghra to actually take to the Sun Summoner.
"You'll have a whole eternity of this," he hears her mutter with satisfaction to the king one day, as Alina hides two large trees from view and then cackles hysterically when Ivan walks straight into one of them.
The king looks almost sulky as he glares down at Baghra.
Fedyor hides his smile and then goes to comfort Ivan before his husband decides to try and knock Alina out.
Fedyor hurries down the corridor, hoping he'll find Alina before she goes to bed.
He's got a stack of papers she needs to look through before the next council meeting (she might simply be observing, but the king is adamant that she should know exactly what they're talking about, and Alina regularly complains good-naturedly about how he quizzes her afterwards to make sure she has been paying attention) and there are a few things he wants to particularly point out to her.
He's heading off to meet a contact in Ryevost early in the morning, so he won't have another chance to speak with her. He can leave her some notes, but knowing Alina she'll have a dozen questions and it will be easier if they can just talk through them.
When he reaches her door, though, he can hear loud giggling and the screech of a badly-played violin.
He looks over at Tomek, one of the oprichniki on guard, a questioning look in his eyes.
Fedyor doesn't really expect Tomek to actually reply, since the oprichniki pride themselves on their silent, watchful personas, but he is surprised to get an answer.
"Miss Alina is having what she called a 'girl's night' with Miss Safina and Miss Zenik," Tomek tells him.
He pauses before leaning over to whisper confidentially to Fedyor, "Miss Zenik was singing a few minutes ago."
Fedyor winces. Nina, enthusiastic in pretty much everything she does, loves to sing at the top of her voice. It is unfortunate that she absolutely cannot hold a tune.
"And the violin?" Fedyor asks.
"Miss Alina expressed the desire to learn a few weeks ago. She … well, it isn't going very well so far, sir."
"So I can hear," Fedyor agrees with a smile.
It may get better, given time and practice, but, for the moment, Alina's playing is enough to make him want to cover his ears.
"Did you want to go in, sir?" Tomek asks, glancing at the pile of papers in Fedyor's hands.
He thinks of nodding, of finding himself trapped in Alina's rooms, forced to sit through Alina's playing and Nina's singing as Genya laughs behind her hand at him.
He loves all three of them dearly, will gladly sit through an excruciating concert and clap enthusiastically at the end to make them happy. Just not when he has to be up at dawn to head off for a mission.
He hands the papers over to Tomek, "you can give these to Alina in the morning. They're for her to look at before the council meeting in three days."
Tomek nods, "wise choice, sir."
Fedyor turns around to head back to his room just as he hears Nina begin to massacre Kalinka, one of the popular folk songs.
He picks up the pace, power walking away to ensure he escapes before any of the girls realise he's there.
A quiet night with Ivan is the infinitely superior option right now.
On Alina's sixteenth birthday, the king gifts her with a magnificent set of gold and obsidian jewellery, as well as a dozen rare tomes on Grisha theory and history.
More importantly, Fedyor thinks, he also gives her a seat on his council.
For two years she has observed many of their meetings, unusually quiet and still as she listens and learns. Now, she will have the opportunity to contribute to the discussion.
Fedyor feels a bittersweet sort of pride the first time she makes a suggestion at one of the meetings.
She's clever and talented, with a knack for offering solutions none of them have considered, and an optimism that is a little naïve but also very refreshing. She fully deserves the honour of a council seat.
Still, it's just another reminder of how far she is from the child who first arrived at the palace. He knows she has to grow up, but he rather misses that feral child, even if he does still see glimpses of her in the young woman he looks at now.
She still rides like a wild thing, has to muffle her laughter when the nobles do something she finds bizarre, and frolics with Nina in the gardens. Every now and then, he even catches her jumping in puddles in the rain like she used to do when she was a child.
But she's grown up now, a real powerhouse in her own right, an almost-woman who isn't afraid to argue with the king (although she only ever does so in private, never in front of the generals or nobles).
The country prays to Sankta Alina, builds churches and altars, sends offerings that she distributes to the city's poorest citizens.
She's better than that, though. A flesh and blood person rather than some semi-mythical figure. The one who sits in council meetings and argues to give more funding to orphanages and schools, a girl who sits in the library and reads through piles of books trying to understand trade routes and agriculture so she can make informed decisions.
Alina is so very real and he cannot be anything but thankful to have all of his previous ideas about what the Sun Summoner would be like proved to be nothing but dull, unrealistic ideals.
She isn't perfect but she is wonderful and he finds he loves her all the more for it.
For years, Alina has talked about travelling the world.
She wants to visit the village in Shu Han where her mother grew up, to see the True Sea, to experience more of Ravka and get to know it's people.
He doesn't think she's made for sitting still, for life behind the palace walls. The king visits other cities and tours the military camps, but Alina never joins him.
When she was a child, it was different. They would never have risked taking her into active war zones at that point. She's older now, though, more than capable with her years of training and one of Morozova's amplifiers wrapped around her wrist.
And yet, she stays in the palace, extremely safe but also rather stifled.
Fedyor wonders if the king knows the resentment that bubbles under Alina's skin.
He's sure the Shadow Summoner does – he's far too intelligent to have missed it. It is clear that he has simply weighed that against the knowledge that his Sun Summoner is safe and secure and decided the trade-off is worth it.
Fedyor thinks perhaps it will all blow up in a year or so, when Alina finally stops allowing herself to be distracted with the various training and amusements the king arranges to entertain her.
He never expects her to vanish into the night, a neat pile of notes left on her desk.
And yet … that's exactly what happens.
-x-x-x-
Fedyor,
I'm sorry for any trouble this causes. I admit that I deliberately picked a time when you were away so you'll at least have deniability.
I'm not running away, no matter what it looks like.
My destiny is clear, so much of my future already written. And I think that's ok … I think I will be happy.
But I need to see a little more of the world, an adventure just for me.
I'll be back, I promise. And I'll miss you.
Love, Alina x
-x-x-x-
There are other letters. For Nina, who pouts about being left behind. For Genya and Botkin. For Baghra, who seems quite impressed by Alina's actions. For Ivan, who scowls at yet another drawing of him being eaten by a bear (much more detailed than the ones she had done for him as a child) but doesn't actually throw it away.
And for the king, who looks almost demented when he finds out that his Sun Summoner has managed to slip past the veritable army of Grisha, oprichniki and regular guards in order to leave the palace.
No one can talk the king out of sending groups to look for Alina, teams sent off in all directions to try and track her.
Fedyor thinks they'll struggle to find her. While she's not had any experience trying to live on her own, she's gotten extremely good with her invisibility trick and he thinks she'll be fairly resourceful. He also knows that she's picked up a lot of tips about camping and hunting from the oprichniki and other Grisha – at the time he'd thought her questions were simply curiosity and an attempt to live vicariously through the trips other students took, but now he realises she's probably been compiling information for a good year or so.
He's worried, of course. The king's rants about Drüskelle and scientists from Shu Han and religious fanatics aren't an exaggeration. If Alina is forced to reveal her powers in public, then he knows she'll be in a lot of danger.
Personally, he thinks that this could all have been avoided if the king had just given Alina a little more freedom in the first place. Not that he'd ever say that to the man's face and risk dismemberment.
For weeks, carefully selected groups go out in shifts searching for the Sun Summoner. They have to do so inconspicuously, as the king insists on maintaining complete secrecy about the matter.
It makes sense. If it was common knowledge that the Sun Summoner was wandering around without any guards or companions, everyone would be searching for her and there would be a risk that the Grisha would not be able to catch up to her before someone with nefarious intentions did.
It's exhausting work, since they also have to keep up with their usual tasks. In addition, Fedyor and Ivan are assigned to lead different teams, so they don't get much time together. Ivan takes to cursing Alina under his breath for causing all this trouble, even as Fedyor tries to remind his husband that Alina's desire for a little bit of freedom isn't unreasonable.
In normal circumstances, Fedyor would expect Ivan to complain directly to the king. After all, as his second in command, Ivan gets almost as much leeway with the king as Alina does. This time, though, Ivan keeps his complaining to a private setting with just Fedyor, clearly sensing that the king won't deal well with any disagreements right now.
He rather pities the prisoners they have in the dungeons at the moment, knowing that the king is venting his frustrations a little by interrogating them in a rather violent manner.
As the days pass by, Fedyor is concerned to note that the king seems to be getting even paler than usual, dark circles under his eyes betraying the fact that he is getting almost no sleep.
Fedyor ropes Nina and Genya in to help. The king is a little less likely to shout at Nina when she brings him tea or tries to cajole him to eat, and Genya takes some of the burden of liaising with the spies off Fedyor's hands so that he can focus more on the search for Alina.
He holds on to the words in Alina's note, her insistence that she will be back. He only wishes she had been a little more specific about when she'd be back.
He's not sure how much more of the king's dark moods and anger-tinged worry he can take.
-x-x-x-
After Alina has been gone almost two months, the king's behaviour changes suddenly and without warning.
He recalls the search teams and sends out simplified orders that the Sun Summoner is to be assisted if aid is requested or seems to be required, but any active searches should be called off. He starts to sleep more, restarts the previously suspended council meetings ("the Sun Summoner is on a spiritual retreat seeking guidance about the Fold" he tells the nobles and army generals) and is actually heard to let out a low bark of laughter at one of Ivan's comments.
The occupants of the palaces begin to relax a little, relieved to discover that the king is no longer liable to threaten them with bodily harm if they make a minor mistake.
Fedyor asks, a little hesitantly, if the king has heard from Alina.
"In a manner of speaking," is all he is told, a puzzling answer he cannot decipher.
He's relieved anyway, if a little concerned that he sometimes passes by the War Room and, when the door is slightly ajar, hears the king speak as if in conversation with someone who isn't there.
Since there are no other indications of possible insanity apart from these rare instances, Fedyor simply thinks the king is perhaps thinking out loud and decides not to ponder the matter further.
He's just going to be grateful that he is no longer being sent all over the country, and that he and Ivan can finally be in the same place for more than a day at a time.
-x-x-x-
Alina's seventeenth birthday comes and goes with no sign from her aside from a sketch of a section of the Sokol River near Adena, with a scribbled A on the back that is delivered to the king.
Life goes on, even if Fedyor finds it a little duller than usual without Alina's presence.
And then, just over eight months after she had vanished, Alina returns.
There is no warning, no letter or note to inform them of her arrival.
He and Ivan are in the king's receiving room, giving him their weekly report, when there is the sound of stone shifting and the secret passageway opens to reveal a familiar face, smiling a little hesitantly at them.
Fedyor sweeps her up in a warm hug, which she returns with equal gusto. Ivan ruffles her hair and mutters gruffly about being glad she didn't cause them all more trouble by getting herself killed or kidnapped.
And the king …
The king just stares, as if he can't quite believe she is there in person.
Alina stares back, like she isn't able to look away.
Fedyor grabs Ivan by the elbow and tugs him away.
"We'll finish our report later, moi tsar," he nods in the king's direction, unbothered when he receives no acknowledgement in return.
He shoves Ivan out of the door, despite his husband's protests that the budgets really do need to be approved soon.
When he goes to close the door behind him, Fedyor sees Alina reach out to the king, sees the feared Shadow Summoner take her hands and press a kiss to her palms, sees both of them smile, sees light and shadows intertwine above them.
He shuts the door firmly and instructs the oprichniki that the king is not to be disturbed.
Thanks for reading. Hope you enjoyed it.