"So, you're the god of the sea?"
"Aye."
"And Typhon turned you into a rock?"
"I know that look, laddie, don't you dare laugh at me!" Poseidon yelled, trying to look intimidating— unsuccessfully.
Izuku covered his laugh with a fake cough, "I'm not laughing it's just...ironic is all."
"Oh yeah, real ironic! Well, ye won't be laughin' much when I get back to my normal form and stab ye through the dick!" Poseidon growled.
"Don't worry, I'll get you back to your full form soon, just like I did for Aphrodite," Izuku reassured.
"Ye better, I'm sick of being stuck as a blasted rock, I can barely move on my own," the sea-god groaned.
In his rock form, Poseidon was only slightly bigger than Izuku's hand and, other than the teal eyes and mouth, looked just like a regular rock.
"I just wish Hermes was here right now, he always seems to know his way around," Izuku sighed.
"Aw, that's sweet," said the Messenger of the Gods.
"BAH!" Izuku jumped back and in doing so, threw Poseidon in the air and let him land face first in the dirt.
"What are you doing here?" Izuku yelped, scrambling to stand up.
"I heard you call my name, so I ran over real quick," Hermes shrugged, casually dusting off his spotless helmet.
"How? The Hall is on the other side of the city," Izuku said, cocking his head to the side in confusion.
"We're gods, of course we have a way of spying on you. There's this cauldron that I like to set up in the middle of the room, and it gives me this top-down view of everything, it's hilarious," Hermes chuckled.
"Ok, first of all, creepy; second of all, I am going to give you my consent to keep doing this because it'll be useful; third of all—"
Izuku was interrupted by the sound of infuriated screams, muffled by soil, so he looked down and hesitantly picked up Poseidon.
"I OUGHTA TEAR THE EYEBALLS OUTTA YOUR SKULL, YE TWINK LOOKIN' BASTARD!"
(Zeus: Poseidon was always the one with the worst temper.)
(Prometheus: That's a lie and you know it.)
(Zeus: Okay, fine, but he definitely has a filthier mouth.)
(Prometheus: ... Alright, I'll give you that.)
"Calm down now, Uncle, he's here to help," Hermes rolled his eyes and took Poseidon out of Izuku's hand.
Poseidon just grumbled in response.
"Do you have any idea where your vault is?" Izuku asked.
"Aye, it's at the bottom of a lake inside that big dome thing, guarded by sirens and a lock that only my Trident can open. Now that, I haven't got the foggiest idea where it is," Poseidon sighed.
"What about a bobby pin?" Izuku suggested.
"Are ye— Are ye serious right now?! Ye think that you can open a mystical lock with a bobby pin, it's not even big enough to fit inside!" Poseidon raved.
"...what if we taped two bobby pins together?" Hermes asked gleefully.
"I swear to my brother if I wasn't a rock, ye'd both be dead," Poseidon mumbled.
"Alright, alright, calm down. The Sirens are probably gonna be the worst thing for him to deal with, so we should start working on that now," Hermes disappeared in a flash, and after about two minutes, he came back with a large dog crate on wheels with a tarp over it.
"Can you believe that Aphrodite just had one of these laying around her palace?" Hermes chuckled.
"Do we have to do this today, it's kinda late," Izuku exclaimed, looking at the slowly setting sun.
"I want to remind you that time is of the essence for us constantly as we never know when Typhon could break free from that mountain again," Hermes claimed, uncharacteristically serious.
"He's right, lad, you need to do everything as quick as you possibly can," Poseidon looked like he was trying to nod but just shook around instead.
Izuku looked around nervously before sighing and throwing his hands up in defeat, "Fine, but we have to move it away from here. If this goes sideways, that thing could put my classmates in danger."
"Fair enough, come on, we should be able to find a good spot in the woods somewhere."
Izuku placed his hands on the cage and pushed it into the tree line, unaware of the set of eyes watching him from a distance.
Izuku held his sword at the ready as Hermes kept one hand on the latch, waiting for the all-clear.
"Now, a siren will hypnotize you into seeing them as the person you desire most to trick you, just block out her song, and you should be fine," Hermes said.
After one slow exhale, Izuku nodded, and the blonde god hit the latch open and stepped back a few feet.
Immediately the cage door flung open and the siren flopped out: the lower half of her body was that of a fish, with purple, green, and blue scales that glimmered in the moonlight; the upper half was a woman's figure, with pale, almost gray skin, he bare breasts were exposed but her nipples were covered by strands of her long black hair, and her blue eyes stood out against her black sclera.
The siren began to sing, and Hermes saw Izuku's eyes widen ever so slightly, he shook his head once and blinked a few times, but his blade still started to wobble.
The siren kept singing, using her arms to pull herself closer to Izuku, whose stance began to loosen bit by bit, and his sword began to lower inch by inch.
"I should probably stop this," Hermes nervously mused.
"Nah, only if the lad is in mortal danger," Poseidon stopped him.
Hermes watched as Izuku's eyes became bright blue and the siren grabbed his shoulders, hoisting herself up on his level, giggling before mashing their lips together and shoving her tongue into the winged boy's mouth.
Blue lines began to stretch into Izuku's face from his lips, until Hermes' drop kicked her away. Izuku's eyes turned back to their original emerald green, and after a few seconds to regain his bearings, he quickly grabbed his sword and decapitated the siren.
"What was that, are you trying to get yourself killed!?" Hermes shouted.
"Obviously not!" Izuku yelled back.
"Then why in Hades did you let her kiss you!?"
"I don't know man, it just happened!" Izuku groaned, his fingers combing through his messy hair.
"You need to get better at this, lad, if ye let a siren kiss ye in the water ye'll sink to the bottom of the floor, seafloor, their lips and tongue and coated in a paralyzin' venom, once ye drown they swoop in and feast," Poseidon warned.
Izuku sighed and ran his fingers through his hair again, "You're right, I'm sorry. I promise I'll learn to tune out the song."
"You better. Who did you even see anyways?" Hermes asked, a teasing grin on his face.
Izuku's face turned red as he cast his eyes away from the blonde, "T-That's none of your business! I'm gonna go back to my dorm, take Poseidon back to the Hall."
"Alright, fine, but you might wanna take care of your... situation down there," Hermes snickered.
Izuku looked down, and his hands immediately flew to cover up his crotch.
He blinked himself awake once more as Ectoplasm finished up his lecture. Izuku hadn't gone to bed until midnight last night and then had to wake up at five-thirty to get ready and be in his homeroom by six.
His head began to wane a little bit and almost smacked into his desk if Momo hadn't caught him by the scruff of his blazer.
"Midoriya, you must get a proper amount of sleep each night," Momo whispered in a chastising tone.
"Sorry, Yaoyorozu," Izuku mumbled.
"I thought I saw you moving around in the common room last night. What were you doing?" Mezou asked through his dupli-arm.
"Huh? Oh, I uh, sleepwalk! Yeah, must've forgot to lock my door last night," Izuku lied.
He didn't like having to lie through his teeth, but even if they did believe that he was out fighting a mythical creature with two gods, he wouldn't want to shatter anyone's worldview.
Izuku just barely caught a long black can that was thrown at his head, a neon green tab on the top with the label reading "Beast energy".
"That'll wake you up," Mezou's mouth chuckled.
Izuku grimaced after one swig but definitely felt more awake, "It tastes like liquified candy and stress."
Izuku took another swig.
"Our schedule says we have heroics next, but it doesn't say who the teacher is," said Tsuyu Asui, a vaguely frog-like girl with long green hair.
"Maybe it's a surprise?" Denki Kaminari asked.
"Why would they keep only one teacher a secret though?" Eijirou Kirishima asked back.
"I—"
A thunderous voice interrupted the class conversation, and their heads all snapped to the door.
"AM—"
"It can't be."
"No fucking way he's actually a teacher."
"This has to be a dream."
"HERE! COMING THROUGH THE DOOR LIKE A HERO!"
All Might, a seven-foot-three hulking mass of inspiration and hope, burst through the door in his red silver age costume, his yellow cape flapping wildly behind him.
"LOOK ALIVE, KIDS, IT'S TRAINING TIME!"
Izuku was in total disbelief, much like the rest of his class, as not only was he finally meeting his lifelong idol, but he was also going to be working in close proximity to him for the foreseeable future, so he felt like passing out from the excitement.
"Now, I understand you're all very excited, but please hold all your questions until after you've changed and met me in training ground Gamma!" All Might said.
"But sir, where can we find our gym uniforms?" Tenya Iida asked.
"Gym uniforms? HAH! No, you'll be in something a little more high class," All Might chuckled as he grabbed a silver remote from his belt and pressed down on the single red button.
In response, a panel on the wall parted down the middle and opened up, revealing twenty numbered suitcases.
"No way, our hero costumes!?" Mina Ashido cheered.
"Don't let the excitement distract you, nor make me say it again, so go get changed and meet me at ground Gamma."
"...Why are you wearing a skirt?"
Izuku looked down at his outfit and glared at the midget boy. The winged boy was wearing traditional greek battle armour: it was silver in color in the center of the chest plate was a dark green emblem of a bird with its wings spread above his head, and on each were two feather-shaped pieces of metal that help the breasts and backplate together, outlined in brilliant green color; there wasn't a left sleeve, revealing the green shirt he wore under, but the right sleeve was made of more, tiny feather-shaped pieces of metal; finally, resting between his hip and arm was a silver Spartan helmet with black trim and a green fur mohawk.
"At least I'm not wearing a diaper," Izuku countered.
In truth, he wanted to be in a different costume, one that was a bit more in tune with a modern hero, but Hermes had convinced him to 'commit to the bit'.
"Mrow, cat-fight," Ochako snickered as she walked up to him, "When did you learn to get so snarky?"
"Ugh, I think Hermes has been rubbing off on me," Izuku groaned.
He turned to look at her, and his eyes almost popped straight out of his head.
Ochako's hero costume was a skin-tight pale pink bodysuit with black accents, mainly the two black buttons on the front of her chest. She had two pink wrist gauntlets that were bigger than her hand, as well as a pair of larger than necessary pale pink high heel boots and a pink-tinted visor.
Objectification is wrong, and Izuku was above dumbing down an amazing girl like Ochako to the sum of her curves, but by the gods, did the suit highlight each one of them fantastically.
(Zeus: Prometheus, are you sure this story doesn't have visuals?)
(Prometheus: Gross.)
(Zeus: What? It's an honest question.)
"Now you're all looking like heroes! Both modern and Greek!" All Might smiled.
"Oh gods, why did he have to single me out," Izuku groaned.
"You're fine," Ochako rolled her eyes and chuckled as she stopped Izuku from hiding behind her.
"Now, onto today's assignment!" All Might reached into his pocket and took out a piece of paper and reading glasses, both comically dwarfed by his hands.
All Might placed the reading glasses on his face and cleared his throat to dispel any chatter, "The class will be split into ten teams, half of them villains and the other half heroes. The heroes' objective is to find the bomb hidden somewhere within the building in five minutes or to capture both villains with your standard-issue capture tape, all within the time frame. For the villains, the opposite is true, either protect the bomb for five minutes or capture both heroes with your standard-issue capture tape."
The class's collective jaw dropped as All Might read his lesson plan out in the most monotone way possible, half of them were trying not to laugh at the scene, and the other half were trying not to groan at the sheer, ungodly lack of teaching skills the number one hero clearly had.
"Now, with that out of the way—" All Might's voice returned to its normal boisterous and jovial tone as he held out twenty upside-down cards, "Pick a card, any card!"
"Wait, the teams are going to be randomized, why is that?" Tenya asked, his words muffled by the knight-like helmet on his head.
"Because in the hero world, you don't get to choose who you work with, four eyes, you just have to suck it up," Katsuki snidely answered.
"Precisely, excellent question though, Young Iida!"
Izuku ended up with a card marked with a big letter 'D'. Unfortunately, he didn't land in a group with anybody he knew, like Ochako, Momo, or even Fumikage.
"Well, looks like our first fight will between team G as the villains—"
Todoroki Shouto and Rikkido Satou stepped up.
"—And team D as the heroes!"
Izuku stepped forward upon hearing his team called, but then his face paled when he saw Katsuki step up next to him.
"No. Way," Katsuki growled in protest.
"Well Bakugou, in the hero world, you don't get to choose who you work with, you just have to suck it up," Mina said with no amount of hidden glee.
"Alright, alright, teams, please take your places, you will have five minutes to prepare for the exercise. The rest of you, follow me to the viewing deck!" All Might ordered.
Shouto bumped past Izuku and shot him a quick glare. He wore a white jumpsuit, but the left half of his body was completely encapsulated in ice.
"So uh...who do you want to do this?" Izuku asked.
"You stay out of my way, I take both of these extras out, and then I win," Katsuki said.
"O-Okay, but I was thinking maybe I can get up to the roof and sweep the building going down while you go up," Izuku suggested in a meek voice.
Katsuki looked sideways at Izuku and snarled. His hero costume consisted of a pair of baggy green cargo pants, a skin-tight, sleeveless black shirt with orange highlights, a pair of thick black boots, and two large gauntlets, shaped like grenades.
"You're right, that's a stupid idea, sorry Kachaan," Izuku quickly let out, turning his head away.
Izuku pulled on his helmet, and the two sat in silence until All Might's voice came over an intercom and told them to begin. After that, they ran in silence.
They were still on the first floor of the building when the temperature took a dramatic drop, the two of them almost busted their asses when they came into a large room covered in ice.
Shouto let out a frosty sigh and flicked his arm forward, summoning a wave of ice spikes that began hurtling towards them. Katsuki raised his palm to blow them away, but Izuku smashed them apart with Atalanta's axe before he could.
"You need to go!" Izuku yelled.
"What, you think you can take him?" Katsuki yelled back.
"You're much faster than me, and he'll freeze us both out if we try to take him on together!" Izuku explained as Shouto began winding up another attack.
"Oh please, I can hold out longer than you can," Katsuki scoffed.
"Just trust me, I can do this!"
Katsuki hesitated for a second before jumping up and using his explosions to bounce from the wall to the exit.
Shouto turned to attack him, but Izuku stole back his attention by firing off an around that grazed his exposed arm.
"Fine, you first," Shouto huffed.
Izuku barely avoided the next ice wave, but it did give him a little bit of momentum in turn. He began to carefully skate around the room, slowly building up more and more momentum until he was speeding across the ice.
Izuku shot a few more arrows that left small, shallow cuts across Shouto's body, but he soon ditched his bow for his sword. Stabbing it into the ice, Izuku made a shard left and took out a chunk of Shouto's ice armor with his slash.
The dual-haired boy sent out a wave of ice, but Izuku was going so fast that it missed by a mile. He used his sword to turn himself once more and dropped to his knees in order to leave a cut across Shouto's calf.
"Had enough?" Izuku panted as he stood back up, having lost his momentum.
Shouto didn't say anything yet was clearly angry as he stomped his foot into the ground and a ring of ice spikes shot out from his body.
Izuku jumped and kicked off the wall before propelling himself higher in the air and just barely clearing the spikes, so he grabbed his axe and slammed it down against the floor, splintering the ice.
There was a rumble, then a loud crack, and the floor beneath them collapsed, having already been weakened by the ice. Shouto and Izuku both fell through into a small opening under the building, the rubble forming a mountain in the center.
Izuku watched as a water line was taken down with them and began to spray water down on the center of the rubble pile. Suddenly, a golden glimmer caught his attention. He began to pull himself to his feet and climbed the mountains until he could grasp the gold object and rip it from the rubble.
Poseidon's trident glowed in the small amount of sunlight filtering into the room, a couple droplets of water falling off of the prongs, it was a simple weapon, but it was oh so magnificent.
Shouto groaned as he stood up and dusted himself off, his ice armor completely gone now, allowing Izuku to see the red part of his hair.
Izuku twirled the trident between his fingers and pointed it at him, "It's over, Todoroki, I have the high ground!"
The winged hero swore that he saw a small flicker of red run across the left side of his face, but Shouto covered his left half with ice again before he could really get a good look.
The heterochromatic boy was about to stomp his foot to the ground again when they were interrupted by the sound of the intercom feedback.
"Katsuki Bakugou has reached the bomb! The hero team wins!"
Izuku slackened his stance immediately; he had bought Katsuki more time than he even thought was possible.
"Hey, Todoroki, mind giving me a lift outta here?" He asked with a smile.
Shouto gave one look at Izuku before he turned his nose up and lifted himself out of the room on an ice pillar.
"O-Okay, no, I get it, that's cool!" Izuku called up after him.