CRANKY BUGS

Based upon the episode by Britt Allcroft and David Mitton

Adapted by Zack Wanzer and Rachel Ravens

Brendam docks is at the south end of Edward's branch line. Years ago, it was serviced by the Wellsworth and Suddery Railway, and today, it is one of the ports of call for the Sodor Shipping Company. Edward and BoCo have been running the branch line together for a few years now, but the docks, where the branch line terminated, was usually managed by Bill and Ben when they weren't at the china clay pits.

Today, BoCo was giving the tank engine twins some updates as he hadn't spent as much time with them since the Dieselworks' construction had begun.

"…and that was when Bear scared the diesels on the mainland into submission to let Emily go," he had finished.

"Serves those big bullies right," said Bill. "They really must've thought an actual bear was loose on the mainland."

"I hope Emily is fixed up soon," said Ben. "No engine deserves to suffer like that."

"Indeed not," agreed BoCo. "From what I heard, a lot of new parts will have to be made from scratch."

Bill and Ben winced upon hearing that.

"Don't worry, you two," soothed BoCo. "Emily's in the safe hands of the Steamworks. In the meantime, we'll have to get back to work."

The docks were busier than ever, and sometimes, the workmen would struggle to keep up with the ships arriving and departing.

"Got some more cargo for this ship!" called Bill as he shunted the trucks into place.

"Did we really order that much cargo?" said a dock worker, checking the schedule. "Oh… we did."

This was a constant problem, until one day, Ben came into the docks with some trucks to hear an unfamiliar voice from above him.

"Well, it's about time you showed up!"

"Eh?" Ben glanced upwards, wondering if the island had gotten a second helicopter. Instead, he saw a tall crane painted in olive green, and a nameplate on either side displaying the word "CRANKY" in yellow lettering.

"Hey, Ben!" called Bill. "What are you looking up at? Another helicopter?"

"No, Bill," said Ben. "This crane wasn't here yesterday."

"Great, two of you," grunted Cranky. "Let's hope you both get things done quickly so you bugs won't have to be here too long."

"Us?! Bugs?" snapped Bill indignantly.

"How rude!" agreed Ben. "Why do we need another crane, anyway? Isn't Big Mickey enough?"

Ben was referring to the large hammerhead crane that stood a distance away from Cranky, but still close enough to unload ships. Big Mickey was non-sentient, but he had received his name in honor of his first operator - known for his physique and booming voice - who had perished in a munitions disaster at a port in the United States prior to the crane's sale to Sodor.

"If you put your trucks on the inside lines, then I wouldn't have so far to travel," Cranky complained.

"What nonsense!" huffed Bill. "We've always arranged our trucks where they were needed, and we've never heard a complaint from the workmen."

"Well, I'm not a workman, but I'm complaining now!" snapped the crane. And to prove his point, he slammed his cargo down onto the quayside, making the twins jump.

"Cheeky crane!" snapped Ben.

Later on, the twins were back at the china clay pits, still angry as to what they had witnessed.

"That crane is so rude," muttered Bill. "Even some trucks have more tact than that."

"Yeah! It wouldn't surprise me if that Cranky got what was coming to him," agreed Ben.

Just then, the twins heard Edward's whistle as the old engine puffed into the clay pits.

"Good day, you two," he greeted warmly, but he quickly became concerned. "What's gotten under your paint?"

"That new crane at the docks," explained Bill. "He's rude and disrespectful!"

"Oh dear," Edward sighed. "I thought I heard someone complaining when I passed by the docks."

"That'd be Cranky alright," grunted Ben.

"You should try seeing it from his point of view too," said Edward. "Unlike us, he can't go into a warm shed when the day's work is over, and he's right up there with the rain, wind and snow. Though I can't deny he's got to see sense as well."

"He called us bugs too," added Bill.

"Really now?!" snapped Edward. "Right. When I get a chance, I'll have a firm talk with him. Meanwhile, you two try your best to keep calm and get your work done, alright?"

"Yes, Edward," the twins smiled.

"Thank you, Edward," said Ben. "We needed that."

When the twins were back at the docks, Cranky was annoyed when he heard Edward had disagreed with him, and decided to take his anger out further.

"Come on! Come on!" he shouted at Bill. "Push those trucks closer to me!"

"Alright, alright!" snapped Bill, and he did so… maybe a bit too close. Cranky lowered the cargo much too fast, and it went right into Bill's smokebox.

"Ouch!" exclaimed Bill the moment it landed. "That hurt!" Cranky just chuckled rudely at the tank engine's mishap.

"Bill!" cried Ben. "Hey, Cranky, you leave my brother alone!"

"What are you going to do about it, you little pest?" retorted Cranky. Some workmen angrily took the cargo off the chains and put it on the quayside to see if Bill was damaged.

"Are you okay, Bill?" asked Ben anxiously.

"I… I think so," the other tank engine replied. Luckily, Bill wasn't damaged and could go back to work.

"You work on the other side of the docks," grunted Ben. "I'll settle this rude crane."

But that proved to be easier said than done.

"If you pushed your trucks onto the outside line," said Cranky, "it'll be easier for me to load up!"

"Coming from the same crane who complained about the trucks not being on the inside lines before!" snapped Ben. Still, he did as Cranky told him to, but the rude crane had deliberately left his loads beside the trucks instead of in them.

"You silly engine!" snapped Cranky. "You must've known my arm couldn't reach you there!"

"This crane is impossible!" Ben called over to Bill. "We do as he tells us to do, and then blames us for listening to him!"

That evening, the clay pits manager came to see the twins.

"Bill and Ben," he said sternly, "I've heard from the dockyard manager that you have been no help at all to that new crane today."

"But that Cranky was giving us grief!" protested Bill.

"We weren't causing any trouble today, honest!" agreed Ben.

"That's not what the dockyard manager told me," said the clay pits manager. "You'll be sent to your sheds so you can think about how to improve yourselves tomorrow."

Bill and Ben sadly did as they were told.

"It's not fair," sulked Bill. "The one time we want to be helpful, we get the blame!"

"Why do engines get falsely accused for crimes they didn't do?" agreed Ben.

But unknown to the clay pits manager, Edward had come down with his nightly train to Brendam, and he was not in a good mood.

"You four stay here," he told the red coaches at the station. "I've got something I need to do before the return journey."

"That's a bit unusual," said Mick. "What's gotten Edward upset?"

Edward then got to the docks and let out a sharp whistle, waking Cranky up with a start.

"Huh, who, what?!"

"I know what you did today!" thundered Edward. "How dare you bully Bill and Ben like that!"

"Er… the twins were being cheeky and troublesome," Cranky lied. "Yo-you know what they are like."

Edward wasn't buying it. "I do know the twins well, and while they can be cheeky sometimes, they don't mean any harm. But you could have given Bill a concussion had the load been heavier!"

Cranky was silent by that remark. That thought hadn't crossed his mind when he caused trouble. Edward, feeling like he made his point clear, went back to refill on coal and water for his return journey.

No sooner than Edward had left the docks, the rain started to fall on the island. If the blue engine wasn't so enraged, he would have noticed that the sheds at the docks were occupied by Bear, BoCo, Donald and Douglas, all asleep at the time. However, the sound of thunder crashing did wake the quartet up.

"Losh shakes!" yelped Douglas as he woke up.

"Ooh," shuddered Bear. "It's a bit wild outside. Will the thunder come and get us?"

"No, Bear," soothed BoCo. "It's just a loud crashing noise."

"We're sure tae be safe in this shed fae th' storm," agreed Donald.

"Pity we can't say the same for Cranky up there," sighed BoCo. The green diesel wasn't wrong; Cranky was not happy at having to stand upright in bad weather with no protection.

"Ugh!" he groaned. "Why me? Why can't I get a roof over me from the storm?!"

"Who's willing tae bet we wilnae git ony sleep th' nicht?" asked Douglas. The other engines wished they had hands to raise.

However, the lack of a roof over his cabin would soon be the least of Cranky's complaints. Not too far away from the docks, an old tramp steamer was out of control.

"We've lost steering, captain!" cried one of the sailors. "She can't hold it any longer!"

"I can't see where we're going!" cried the captain. "Switch on the lights!"

"The lights have gone out!" exclaimed another sailor. "The storm must've shorted them out!"

Then there was more trouble; a loud crunch sounded out as the tramp steamer came onto land.

"By McIntosh's name!" exclaimed Donald, as the tramp steamer hit the pole that was closest to him, knocking over the shed. Douglas, BoCo and Bear had also begun to panic as the shed fell on top of them.

"OUCH!" they all yelped as small bits of debris flew everywhere. The back poles of the shed were also closest to Cranky and they hit him too. Suddenly, Cranky began to feel himself tipping over!

"AAAAAHHH!" he screamed as he fell to the ground, landing with a loud crash!

"HELP!" the engines called from underneath the shed.

"I CAN'T!" called Cranky.

When the storm was over, Sir Topham Hatt drove to the scene of the accident.

"Donald, Douglas, Bear and BoCo!" he exclaimed. "We'll get you out of there soon." He then turned to Cranky. "Bill and Ben will help you, then you can help my engines out of the wreckage."

"Oh, please hurry!" whimpered Cranky. "And tell them I'm sorry I was rude to them!"

"So Edward was right," Sir Topham Hatt conceded. "I thought so. I'll have to get the twins' manager to apologize to them tomorrow."

It wasn't just Bill and Ben who arrived to help clear away the mess; Edward had brought Judy and Jerome from Knapford.

"Don't worry," Edward called to the other engines. "We'll get you out."

Strong chains were attached to the china clay twins, and they slowly began to pull back.

"Steady there, Bill," called Ben. "We can't go too fast."

"We'll have to hurry to help the others," replied Bill, but he still backed off regardless.

Eventually, Cranky was upright once more and got to work clearing the wreckage, starting by lifting the roof of the shed off of the engines.

"Oh, thank you," smiled Bear, and nearby workmen went to check the four engines for any damage. "That's better. What would we have done without you?"

"Well, I had to be rescued before I could help you," said Cranky. "But I never thought it would be by a couple of bu… bu… er, small engines, thank you," he said, quickly correcting himself. "I'll never be rude again. However, you mites are in my way, so move over!"

"Pah!" snapped Ben. "He's back to bugging us. Let's get back to the quarry, Bill."

"Wait a minute, Ben!" cried Bill as he started moving back. "You're still attached to-"

"AAARGH!"

CRASH!

"…Cranky," sighed Bill.

"Er, oops," said Ben meekly.

"Here we go again…" muttered Edward.

BoCo, Bear and the twins had to be given minor repairs as the roof had been partly kept up by the poles and didn't fully land on the engines, but otherwise, they were all fine.

As for Cranky, he was soon righted up again, and ever since that stormy night, he hasn't bullied Bill and Ben again. After all, he knows that they "mite" bite back!

THE END

Author's Comments

Here's the next episode of Series 5 Redux, based upon the series premiere Cranky Bugs! The original episode isn't particularly bad, but given that the majority of it takes place at Brendam docks, I think it made better sense to have Bill and Ben be the engines antagonized by Cranky. Given their mischievous nature, it seemed reasonable that their manager wouldn't believe them when they tried to protest their innocence. And yes, how the non-sentient Big Mickey got its name is a reference to the TUGS episode Munitions, also explaining how it ended up on Sodor. Not much else to comment on there.

Upcoming stories: (Toby and the Washout will be reworked)

- Haunted Henry

- Thomas, Percy and Old Slow Coach

- Rumors and Speculation

- Baa!

- Mavis and the Lorries