LADY HATT'S BIRTHDAY PARTY
Based upon the episode by Britt Allcroft, David Mitton and David Maidment
Adaptation by Zack Wanzer and Rachel Ravens
The next day, Derek was taking some supplies down to the Norramby branch line, and he stopped at Crovan's Gate to take on oil. He was a bit worried when he saw Sir Handel in a much quieter mood than usual when he took Gertrude and Millicent to the platform.
"Is everything alright, Sir Handel?" asked Derek.
"Oh, Peter Sam had a bit of a bad dream last night," explained Sir Handel. "And both of us had quite a confronting experience with our past of Peel Godred." He quickly summarized what happened to Bertram all those years ago.
"Oh, goodness me," shuddered Derek. "I didn't realize that Sodor had its brutal years. I'm so sorry you lost your friend."
"Thanks," sighed Sir Handel. "Getting more in line with the here and now, what's been going on with the North Western? I mean, since your arrival."
"Well, Katie and Nicole have been sold to Amanda Hatt's heritage railway in the Midlands," Derek explained, "and Julie, Johnson and Lauren have been kept on as permanent residents as numbers fifteen, nineteen and twenty-one, respectively, on the Kirk Ronan branch line."
Sir Handel and the coaches' eyes widened in confusion.
"No thirteen or fourteen?" asked Sir Handel.
"Well, didn't Duke become number eight on arrival to your railway?" asked Derek. "And engines one through six already occupied those numbers?"
"Well, yes, but we do have a number seven," said Gertrude.
"They go by the name Flying Bedstead, Flyer for short," added Millicent. "They arrived here shortly after the Lakeside line started construction to provide quicker transport for Mr. Hugh on the rails. Though they used to live in the main sheds with the engines, Flyer now resides in the quarry shed further down the line."
"Ah, I see," said Derek. "In that case, I'm not sure what's going on with the steam engines' numbering system here. The diesels seem to be in order; I'm numbered five after BoCo, Diesel, Daisy and Bear."
"Regardless, I do hope Julie, Johnson and Lauren settle in well," said Millicent.
"Indeed," said Derek. "I hear there's something special going on at the new station at Kirk Ronan. That should make things exciting for them."
"Hopefully not a repeat of Gordon's accident," remarked Sir Handel.
"You do realize that the accident knocked Gordon out?" snapped Gertrude.
"Oh, bust my buffers, I forgot; sorry. Bad taste on my part."
Down at Topham Hall, Sir Topham and Lady Hatt were admiring a new suit hanging up on the clothing rack.
"It's perfect for my birthday party," smiled Lady Hatt. "You'll look splendid, Topham dear."
"And I shall wear my finest hat for you, Jane," said her husband proudly. "Your birthday is a great occasion."
"It is," said Lady Hatt. "So don't be late. The whole family and our friends will be there."
"Don't worry, my dear. I shall be spic and span and right on time!"
"Oh, and what about the railway?" asked Lady Hatt. "Who'll be running it while you're going to the party?"
"Ah, right," said Sir Topham. "Mr. Starr transferred not too long ago to work on a railroad in northern Canada. However, I do have someone in mind to cover for me today."
When he changed into his new suit, Sir Topham Hatt heard a knock at the door of the station.
"Come in."
A man walked into the station. Unlike Mr. Starr and Mr. Carlin, he was clean shaven, but still wore the traditional guard uniform seen on the North Western Railway.
"Hello, Sir Topham Hatt," greeted the man.
"Mr. Baldwin," he replied, shaking his hand. "How are you enjoying life on Sodor thus far?"
"Well, it's certainly different to that from when I worked on the Indian Valley Railroad," remarked Mr. Baldwin. "I'm getting used to the idea that trains run on the left-hand side rather than the right-hand side."
"I can understand that," nodded Sir Topham Hatt. "Now, I know the engines don't know you as well as some of the other staff, but they do seem to trust you; that's a good sign. Just follow the schedule as best you can."
"I'll do my best, sir," promised Mr. Baldwin.
"Good," smiled Sir Topham Hatt. "The engines are a bit busy with the summer rush right now, so it will be difficult for me to catch a train. I'll just ride in my car."
"Is it reliable?" asked Mr. Baldwin.
"I'm quite sure of it," said Sir Topham, grabbing his top hat from the hanger and putting it on.
"Have a good time at the party, sir," smiled Mr. Baldwin as the controller left. He then turned puzzled when he saw some of the numbers on the Kirk Ronan engines in the timetable. "Huh… he must have misnumbered some of them." He shrugged it off; numbers didn't improve or dampen performances.
What did improve or dampen performances, however, was the state of the road for cars. As he drove along to Kirk Ronan, Sir Topham Hatt could see a pothole on the road in front of him.
"Oh no!" he cried, trying to steer away from the pothole. But it wasn't good enough as one of the tires hit the pothole, causing the car to swerve before he braked the car to a stop.
"Oh, botheration!" groaned Sir Topham Hatt as he got out of the car. "Now I've gotten a puncture." He surveyed the damage. "If I change the tire now, I'll dirty my suit and be late for the party. What am I going to do now?"
Just then, Caroline was driving down the road.
"I sure hope you all have a good time at the party," Caroline was saying. "And that the car park has a nice area for me to rest."
"I'm sure there will be, Caroline," said her driver. "With the rebuilt station, they're sure to have revamped the carpark as well."
Then he looked out of the window to see a blue car and a stout gentleman in a top hat standing right next to it.
"Is that Sir Topham?" remarked the driver. "Shouldn't he be heading to the party as well?"
"He should be," remarked Caroline. "It's his wife's birthday party, after all." She glanced over in surprise. "Sir, what's happened?"
"Ah, Caroline!" remarked Sir Topham Hatt. "I, er, had a bit of an accident trying to avoid that dratted pothole in the road. Do you think you could give me a lift?"
"I'll do my best, sir," said Caroline. "You're lucky it's only my driver and two others in me today."
Sir Topham Hatt jumped into Caroline, and the old car drove off once again to Kirk Ronan.
"We'll have to go carefully," said Caroline's driver. "Caroline isn't built for speed."
"Could we pick up the pace just a little bit?" asked Sir Topham Hatt. "I promised my wife I wouldn't be late."
"I'm not sure that's a good idea," said one of the other passengers.
"Remember what happened last time Caroline went so fast?" added the other one.
The driver was conflicted; he didn't want to hurt Caroline but he also didn't want Sir Topham Hatt to be late.
"I suppose a little faster wouldn't hurt," he said hesitantly.
Unfortunately, this was a mistake, as the driver put his foot down too hard on the pedal.
"Oooh!" wailed Caroline. "My engine will overheat!"
And it did. Smoke poured out of her bonnet, and Caroline came to a stop near some bushes.
"Oh…" she coughed. "Not again… He tried to tell you."
"Bother! Bother!" groaned Sir Topham Hatt, getting out. "Now what are we going to do?"
Then he heard a loud whistle, and George the steamroller pulled up.
"So much for being able to mend that pothole," he grunted. "Some fool's driven a car into it!"
The other two passengers had to stifle their giggles as Sir Topham Hatt felt a flush of embarrassment. George scowled even more when he saw the broken down Caroline.
"Ya call yerself a car?" he snapped. "Yer a disgrace to the road! Ya should go an' find yerself a scrapyard!"
"Well! I've never been so insulted in my life!" Caroline spluttered furiously. Sir Topham Hatt, however, didn't hear the rest of the old car's ranting as he spoke with George's driver. Thankfully, he was far more polite than the vehicle he was driving.
"Can I be of service to you, sir?" he asked.
"Only if you can get me to my wife's birthday party at Kirk Ronan station," sighed Sir Topham Hatt.
"Dey should've ripped dat place up an' built an even bigger car park in its place," muttered George. Fortunately, the controller hadn't heard this remark, but Caroline did.
"If that meant more rude vehicles like you, I'd rather the station be kept around," she retorted. "At least the Kirk Ronan engines have respect."
"We can take you to Lauren," said the driver. "She'll be down at Rolf's Castle soon."
"I'll call for Butch and Wendy," said Caroline's driver, rushing to the nearest telephone box. Wendy was the bus who ran the road services along the Kirk Ronan branch line.
"Much obliged," smiled Sir Topham Hatt as he hopped on board George.
"And you can just stay dere," muttered George to Caroline as he left.
"That's all I can do!" she cried indignantly. "I wasn't planning on going anywhere else, anyway," she added sarcastically.
George was still laughing as he rolled along the lane, but Sir Topham Hatt was not enjoying himself at all. Suddenly, oil splashed all over his new suit!
"Oh, maybe I should have changed my tire after all," he muttered to himself. That was soon to be the least of his worries…
"Help!" wailed George as he began swerving along the road. "Something's snapped!"
The rude steamroller veered out of control and ran straight into a muddy ditch, close to where Lauren was resting. In the accident, Sir Topham Hatt had fallen off of George, further dirtying his suit.
"Bother… BOTHER!" he groaned again. "This is not my day, is it?" he muttered as he struggled to get himself free from the ditch.
"Looks like Butch needs to perform two rescues down here," muttered George's driver. "I'll have to call for him too." He walked off to the nearest phone box.
Lauren had been observing the whole thing with her driver, completely baffled.
"What's happened to you, sir?" she asked as he managed to climb onto the station platform.
"Honestly, I've had quite the journey making it to Kirk Ronan…" Sir Topham Hatt sighed. "Can you please get me the rest of the way there?"
"I've just about finished my water stop," said Lauren. "But unfortunately, my fireman's just taken ill."
"Then I shall take over as your fireman!" announced Sir Topham Hatt. "Hang my dirty suit; I'll get to my wife's birthday party no matter what!"
"Oh, sir!" gasped Lauren excitedly as he hopped into her cab. She went to buffer up to Audrey, Hilary and Mark and Lily blew the guard's whistle.
"It's been ages since I was last in an engine's cab," remarked Sir Topham Hatt. "But who says you can't teach an old dog new tricks?"
"Sir Topham Hatt is riding in your cab, Lauren?" gasped Audrey.
"Why doesn't he just ride with one of us?" asked Mark. "He'll stay cleaner that way."
"You both realize that Lauren lacks a fireman or firewoman right now," Hillary deadpanned.
Working in a steam engine's cab was hot and dirty work, but Sir Topham didn't seem to care that much when coal dust and smut flew onto his suit.
Lauren and her coaches pulled into the station just as Wendy arrived on the road beside the platform. She was a dark purple color, and looked quite different from Bertie, Algy and Bertrand.
"You're here early, Lauren, Audrey, Hilary and Mark," commented Wendy. "Usually you don't arrive for another two minutes."
In the tank engine's cab, Sir Topham Hatt peered out to look at the clock.
"Just in time," he gasped. "Only a few minutes before the party begins." He got out of Lauren's cab and bought a huge bunch of flowers.
"Good luck, sir!" called Lauren as her controller hurried away to where the party was taking place.
"What's happened there?" asked Wendy. Her passengers, including the ones she had picked up from Caroline, scrambled out of her.
"Whatever it was," said Audrey, "I imagine it'll be quite the story."
Inside the station, Lady Hatt, in a fancy red dress, was waiting for her husband to arrive.
"I don't see grandfather," said Stephen. He and Bridget had changed quite a bit over the years. Now both were teenagers alongside their cousin Annabelle, and they were currently in their best clothes.
"I'm sure he'll get here soon," said Annabelle. "Maybe he's been really proud of one of his engines and had to congratulate them real quick."
"That shouldn't excuse his lateness," grunted Bridget. Before Stephen could retort, the clock struck three, and everyone turned to the doors as they opened. There stood Sir Topham Hatt, tired but triumphant.
"Dad!" cried Charles and Barbara.
"So glad you could make it!" smiled Barbara.
"And it's good to see you as well," smiled Sir Topham Hatt. "Glad that you could come all the way from the mainland to see us, Charles."
"It's great to see you, grandfather." Annabelle rushed to him and gave him a hug.
"You're growing up so fast," he chuckled. "Hard to believe you were just a five year old girl pointing out the differences between Henry and Gordon to your mother." Barbara looked away sheepishly at that remark.
Lady Hatt then came up to her husband as he handed her the flowers.
"Well, thank you, my dear," she smiled. "I knew this was a special birthday party, but I didn't know it would be fancy dress."
Everyone burst out laughing as Lady Hatt gave her husband a kiss on the cheek.
"What happened to you, Topham?" asked Sir Handel Brown.
"Ah, well, that's quite the story, Lloyd," chuckled Sir Topham. "All of you would not believe the journey I've had just to get here!"
And before everyone knew it, the party had begun.
"You know, grandfather," said Annabelle, "I think what you went through to get to grandmother's birthday party makes you a really useful controller and husband indeed."
"Aww, thank you, Annabelle," he smiled, hugging his maternal granddaughter tightly.
After the party was over, everyone returned home, but no one had realized that a certain steam roller was still in the muddy ditch.
"Hey!" he cried. "Didn't anyone call Butch to get me outta here?"
"Oops," sighed Sir Topham Hatt. "Maybe his driver forgot to mention that, I'd better call when I get home I suppose."
By now, Sir Topham Hatt's car and Caroline had been taken by Butch to the garage to get fixed up, and poor Butch had to go out with the moon rising on Sodor to help out George.
"Ugh, I should be snoozing in the garage," he yawned as went to collect George.
"Why didn't his driver call us earlier?" agreed his driver.
At last, they came to where George still sat in the ditch.
"Well, jeez! It's about time ya got here!" the steamroller snapped.
"Don't blame us," grunted Butch as he was hooked up. "Blame whoever it was that was supposed to ring up my driver earlier."
It took a very long time to pull George out from his ditch, and the fading light didn't help much either. By dawn, Butch had finally managed to free George.
"Gee, finally!" snapped George. "I'd have gotten outta here sooner if my driver didn't forget to call for help!"
"You're welcome…" Butch muttered through his yawning.
As they headed back for the garage, they went past Crovan's Gate, where the seven engines were slowly waking up to greet the day.
"No nightmares this time, Stuart?" asked Duke to Peter Sam when both opened their eyes.
"Not at all, Granpuff." he smiled.
"That's a good thing," said Sir Handel warmly when he glanced over to the road running near their sheds. "Wha… oh my goodness, everyone, look at this!"
There was a sleepy Butch hauling a very dirty and ungrateful George.
"What's happened to him?" laughed Rusty, and the steam engines quickly followed suit.
"Clumsy thing ran into a muddy ditch trying to get Sir Topham Hatt to his wife's birthday party," explained Butch. "He was left there until moonrise last night before Sir Topham Hatt called for help."
"Well, rudeness never pays," chortled Skarloey, and the others had to agree. George didn't say anything, however. The scowl on his face did all the talking for him.
One of these days, he thought darkly to himself, you'll be laughin' on the other side of yer funnels. Mark my words!
THE END?
Author's Comments
Here's episode twelve of Series 5 Redux, based upon one of the funniest episodes of the show. Since the party took place around Kirk Ronan, it seemed to make sense to change up the location to the branch line, hence Lauren takes Thomas' place in bringing Sir Topham Hatt to the party. We even introduced Mr. Baldwin into the series, the expy for the Mr. Conductor seen in Thomas and the Magic Railroad, and Mr. Starr's transfer to Canada is based upon Ringo Conductor's move to the North Pole following Tis a Gift. Another mythology gag for the Seventyverse! Although that doesn't add anything to the story, we did lampshade the somewhat confusing numbering system for the North Western Railway's steam engines - for example, Rebecca is #22, yet arrived after engines with a higher number such as Harvey, who's #27 - and provided an explanation as to who was number seven on the Skarloey Railway whilst Duke was eight; Flying Bedstead (pre-Mark V), although they were simply mentioned in passing. I hope to include them in the latter half of this redux at some point.
Upcoming stories:
- Gordon and the Gremlin
- Don't Fear the Scrapper
- Branching Off
- Deep Freeze
- Something in the Air