Thursday was another ordinary day for Hope's peak academy. They all started their day, waiting for-wait what?
TONIGHT,
A CAT FORGETS A BUNCH OF NUMBERS,
MUSTACHED DRIVERSTOPS IN FRONT OF THE FINISH LINE
AND A BUNCH OF KNOBS LAUGH AT THE PICTURE OF A CHEF.
Far away from Hope's peak academy, there was a bar meant only for so called bad guys. Yakuzas and other criminals loved to reside there, since the bar owner made it deliberately suited for them. All of them drank, alcoholic or not, just enjoying their break from their activities. Little did they know what the day had in store for them.
"May I take your order?" bartender asked the nearest yakuza guy, who was awaiting a drink.
"One Sapporo, please." politely ordered yakuza guy, raising his index to show that he truly meant one, no more, no less. The bartender nodded as he reached out for the nearest refrigerator. He grabbed the can, made sure that he got the right brand and gave it to the thirsty yakuza guy.
"Here you go." said bartender as he placed the beer on the table. Such was his life, beer or die.
"Thank you very much." yakuza guy gave him a thumbs up as he opened up the can, consuming the alcoholic beverage in the process. In the mean time, an interesting, road illegal car was parked in front of the bar. It wasn't a sedan or a grand tourer, but none other than a Formula One racing car, specifically Mercedes MGP W01. Painted in silver and black, the car still had all the advertisements on it, despite now being privately owned. The owner, dressed in a white glittery tuxedo and wearing a white fedora, stepped out of it as he started approaching the bar.
The criminals inside still enjoyed their peaceful day, having conversations regarding their less than legal activities.
"Say, have you've been thinking about business?" asked other yakuza guy, who sat quite a bit far from the bartender. He was also enjoying Sapporo as much as the guy who ordered it the latest.
"Hm, I was thinking of trafficking weed, but I don't think there's a market for it in Japan." answered another yakuza guy, wondering about how to increase profits for their own yakuza clan.
"Why weed, if I can ask?" other yakuza guy raised his eyebrow, stunned at such choice.
"Seems popular as of late. Did you hear that weed market absolutely skyrocketed in Netherlands not too long ago?" elaborated another yakuza guy while remembering that the market for grass saw quite a noticeable traction few months ago. However, during the time between that news and that day, it was largely forgotten. What they didn't know was that the person who was responsible for the rise of cannabis market in Netherlands was coming right for them.
"Yeah, but...that's in Netherlands. Japan's a different place." argued other yakuza guy, reminding him that Japan has different niches than a country known for taking land from sea had.
"I guess you are rig-" another yakuza guy was about to continue the conversation, but it came to an end when the door of the bar was abruptly opened by the man dressed in white. Amid the traditionally Japanese yakuza members, the western mafioso stood out like, in native words, a "gaijin". He walked in like a sheriff entering a saloon from the faraway times, smoking a fat blunt like a cigar. "...Who's this asshole?"
The guy's name was Fritz.
"What do you think you are, some cowboy of sorts? Hate to break it to ya, but this ain't Wild West." jeered random yakuza as Fritz was approaching the bartender, who immediately noted of his presence. The man in white had a sincere laugh upon hearing yakuza's taunt.
"Heh...funny you mention that. Very funny, I approve." chuckled Fritz as he tipped his hat, giving the yakuza fella a look. For some reason, the same yakuza member felt chills down his spine. Something about Fritz's eyes gave him an impression that the man in white was seconds away from murdering someone and enjoying it.
"All white, glittery…what's this for, some fashion nonsense?" taunted other yakuza guy, insisting a facade of a tough guy.
"It's a look that you'll remember for ages. Mark my words." boasted Fritz as he looked over to him with a smug grin on his face.
"Hahaha, sure will, for how utterly ridiculously flamboyant it is! Go back to Hollywood, where you belong!" joked another yakuza guy while having a laugh at how utterly different he was. No dragon tattoos, no black suits, just something that defied even western definitions of a mafioso, sort of. The looks was there, just tiny things were enough different.
"Oh please, that place is just for utter pussies. This is the right place for me and I have come here for one simple thing." Fritz, once again, had a laugh as he threw the blunt in the nearest trash can.
"And what would that be, fashion cowboy gangsta?" asked yakuza who ordered Sapporo in a rather provocative way, absolutely ignorant of what he enabled the unusual man to do. Fritz's only response was his grin changing from a smug one to one that desires nothing more than for blood to be shed all over the place.
Then, the first strike began, with Fritz delivering a horizontal punch to the yakuza guy's face so hard, that it knocked him unconscious the instant he felt the impact. Every other yakuza fellow gasped on the sight of someone who was just taunting receiving such a punch. The one who initiated it turned towards them, with a same bloodthirsty grin he had.
"Hey hey hey HEY! W-what's this all abou-" other yakuza guy reckless approached the aggressor, only for him to be jabbed right in the stomach, causing him to nearly puke blood out of his mouth. The attack that knocked him out for good was Fritz grabbing his head and smashing it right on the table, causing a few broken teeth in the process. In the mean time, all bartender could do was watch, he did not want to interfere with the rampaging mafioso. The brawl went on, with more yakuza members falling down like dominos. Not even the ones who wanted to avoid the fight were safe.
"No no no, please, I have nothing to do with thi-" innocent yakuza tried to run away, only to be grabbed by the collar and thrown across the bar. Once he landed, Fritz delivered a knock out blow by smashing a chair over his head, possibly damaging him so hard that he could no longer recover. Upon seeing that even "innocents" were targeted by the maniac, the last remaining yakuza guy went out with a desperate option.
"YOU FUCKING PSYCHO!" the oddly enough only yakuza that had firearms with him pulled out a revolver, but before he could even place a proper grip on it, Fritz already delivered him an uppercut right on the chin. As he was knocked out yet still conscious, Fritz kicked him in the face a few times, breaking every single teeth he had before he was out of commission. The victor inspected the revolver before he claimed it as its own.
"Hm. Colt Single Action Army, the basic bitch option, but it will be useful. Anyway, where was I?" analyzed Fritz before he returned to the absolutely stunned bartender.
"….I...I have never seen a bar totaled by one person. You have my, uh...respect." hesitated bartender, for the only time worried that a criminal would attack him. Fortunately, Fritz decided to spare him.
"Eh, it was too easy. A bunch of pansies here, not a single one could fight." scoffed Fritz as he laughed over all those who have fallen in the brawl. All that fighting made him just a little thirsty. "Alright so, I would like…".
"Entire bar, free of charge?" bartender gave an offer, just to avoid any further conflict.
"I was about to say I just want a can of beer, but that would do it as well. Here, have a tip." clarified Fritz, genuinely surprised by his offer but still taking it. An opportunity like that couldn't be passed. For a reward, he tipped the bartender a coin worthy of five hundred yen before he left the bar, officially conquering it under the name of Daft Capo. The bartender was in shock, not from the aftermath, but from the fact he received money by the same gangster that beat up everyone.
"That's more than my monthly paycheck….What the hell…." noted bartender as he continued his daily business, now under new management. Meanwhile, Fritz went to his privately owned Formula One car, whipped out the phone and called his homie.
"Yo, Herman my man! I've got the last one good! You know what that means." casually greeted Fritz while confirming his arrival at Zona Daft Capo.
"Eyyyyyyy, Fritz! By Mama Maria, I was waiting for this moment! Come soon, my friend!" Herman welcomed him with open arms (or rather tentacles), finally achieving what he wanted for so long.
"Hahaha, of course, you octopus bastard!" laughed Fritz before he ended the call, jumped in his Formula and drove off, asserting his presence on the road by the sweet sounds of the engine.
Meanwhile, at another end of the city, an ordinary bank resided. What else was there to tell about it other that it was a bank and it had a lot of money? Oh, perhaps that it had some level of security, some cameras placed in the rather small vault. At the very least floor was solid enough, right?
Apparently not, since a single fist managed to emerge from it. Then, with sheer force, a cat rose from the floor, only accompanied by a bag. The blue cat, who went by the name of Tom, wearing a glittering white zoot suit and a fedora, looked around and spotted cameras, quickly realizing that they didn't work as his already high confidence rose even more. Then he stepped towards the door of vault, locked with a code. All he had to do was to type in a four digit password and the door would open. Tom, with even more confidence, believed that he didn't need a paper, all he had to was to press the touch pad on right places a few times and press confirm. The first attempt was initiated, with him pridefully entering the combination of letter.
It flopped.
Suddenly, the confidence of the cat was replaced with rising frustration as he gave out another try.
It flopped once again.
The aforementioned frustration turned into anger as he poked the touch screen so hard, that a few cracks appeared on it. Unaware that he had the last chance, he typed out the code for the last time.
It flopped for the final time, setting off alarms in the facility. Tom, not even noticing alarms, got enough of door's shit and started pulling the handle to himself. Somehow, with the absolute sheer and utter force produced by Tom's hands, he tore the entire thing away, leaving nothing short of a free entrance for money. Once it was opened, Tom went in for the catch, putting all the money inside the bag as if he was a while hunting for krill. As the cat was busy indulging himself in robbery, uniformed security guards, armed with batons, entered the vault, surrounding Tom in the process.
"Freeze! We have you surrounded!" ordered guard, letting Tom surrender. If he did not, they would beat him up. However, Tom was more than ready for a fight, preparing his fighting stance while sporting a determined look on his face. Despite carrying a bag of money with his one hand, he was more than willing to fight guards one handed.
However, the fight never came to be as it was an intervention of a giant metallic arm bursting through the ceiling like it was made out of an ice cream cone.
"W-WHAT THE?!" all of the security shouted as the arm grabbed the bag. Tom, feeling more confident than before, smugly grinned before he jumped on the arm, riding it for a bit. Just before the arm would remove its place in the vault, a single sign appeared from the opening, which said one simple thing:
"SUCKERS!".
Tom laughed at the misfortune of guards as he showed them his tongue before the arm lifted, taking all the money the cat stole from the bank.
Once the crane, which the arm was the part of, reached an ideal angle, he ran on the boom as fast as he could. The parkour cat managed to reach his seat just in time. The whole crane mechanism was part of a rather intriguing modified vehicle, a three-wheeled Vespa, colored like a proper construction crane. A sign of "ACME CO." was written on it. Somehow, it did not explode through out the entire process. Once the crane was in the right place, outriggers were placed in, prepared for the vehicle to have a ride.
The name of such frankenstein's monster of a motorcycle was Dollar Fisher, with the operator of the crane being none other than Wile , dressed in a white tuxedo and wearing a white fedora, like a proper Elite Boi would do. Coyote and Tom gave each other a high five after completing the robbery before they wanted the driver's attention. The driver was called Louisianos, a rather ridiculously wide man that resembled Figottoni in a way. In fact, he was Figottoni's brother.
"Dosh got?" asked Louisianos as he glanced over to his cat and coyote higher ups. Both of them gave him a thumbs up, signifying him that the mission was done. "Excellent work. I will report it to Herman.".
He brought up a phone out of his pocket and called another animal higher up.
"Herman, I've got Tom and Coyote with me. We got the dosh, we're gonna bring it here." stoically reported Louisianos about the success of the robbery.
"Magnifico! Now take Tom and Coyote here! We have a special meeting now." praised Herman as he welcomed them to the meeting.
"Pronto, my boi." nodded Louisianos before ending the call, delivering the duo of cat and coyote to the Zona Daft Capo.
Across another end of the of the city, a competition was held. A street race, just like one would see in a high budget movie. Various modified cars, mostly all Japanese, drifted on the roads like maniacs. However, one unique car was in the lead, far away from other measly looking cars. A rocket shaped purple car, breaking every single speed limit law and laughing at it, was taken care of by one certain infamous moustached man, accompanied by an unclean dog.
"And here we have in the first place, none other than Dick Dastardly, the dark horse of Tokyo Drift! With his menacing Mean Machine, he's bound to win for sure!" announced the announcer of the annual Tokyo Drift street racing competition, displaying the Elite Boi right in the spotlight.
"Gyahahaha! Look at that, Muttley! We're in the lead! You know what that means!" cackled Dastardly, boasting towards his canine companion about their plan for the race. As they sparks flew over the roads due to blood pumping drifting, the Mean Machine found itself just before the finish line. However, thanks to the plan he had, he performed a J turn, sending sparks all over the place as tires screeched. Then, he stopped himself just a meter before the finish line.
"What the? They have stopped right in front of the finish line! What do they plan?!" commented the announcer, baffled by the sudden decision taken by the nefarious driver.
"Uh...the line." Muttley pointed out that their victory was just inches away.
"I know, Muttley, but first, we're gonna deprive joy of crossing the finish line from others first! Not only we will win, but only we will!" insisted Dastardly as he pressed a button amid the utter mess of a control panel. With the action initiated, a slim robotic arm appeared out of the Mean Machine, placing a wide, yet transparent launch pad just before the finish line.
"Reverse!" suggested Muttley, insisting that it's all they needed to do.
"Come on, they're still far away. We can relax here for hours…." Dastardly, stubborn Richard he was, insisted on winning by cheating before a sudden shock of sense blasted in his mind. "Oh wait, I've just got an idea.".
Then, he did exactly as Muttley requested: he went in reverse, crossing the finish line first.
"OH SHIT, DICK DASTARDLY HAS WON YET ONCE AGAIN! THE CHAMPION HOLDS HIS THRONE TIGHT AND SQUARE!" the announcer went absolutely ballistic of the victory achieved by the unorthodox racer. The crowd that participated went nuts as well, as cheers of fans echoed through out that part of the city.
"Gyahahaha! I win! It was all thanks to my genius idea!" boasted Dastardly as he proudly pumped his arms. Euphoria surrounded him upon learning the fact that he has won another race. Perhaps the frequent losses before he joined Daft Capo drove him nuts about it.
"Snazza frazza rashin' fashin, stupid Rastardly." grumbled Muttley.
"Don't be so sore, Muttley! What matters is that victory has been achieved yet again!" Dastardly scolded him for negative attitude. Then he thought about his current situation and how blissful it was. "...Ah, joining that mafia has been the greatest decision of my life….well...almost.".
Just before he would officially exit the race, Dick Dastardly drove off to get his reward. A man with a suitcase awaited him.
"And now, Dastardly will receive his reward: ONE MILLION DOLLARS!" the announcer declared his victory as the man passed him the suitcase, filled with American dollars.
"YES! DOUBLE YES! TRIPLE YES!" cheered Dastardly as he gladly took the briefcase, driving off towards Zona Daft Capo, happy to report them great news.
"Yeyeyeyeye?" Muttley wanted a part of the catch as well.
"...Fine, you will get some of it...and a medal too, I guess." Dastardly allowed as he gave him a tiny medal. Muttley felt honoured that he received one. "At least you're happy with that.".
Meanwhile, the race was still ongoing, it was all about the second place at that moment. The one in lead was a Toyota Supra A80 driver, drifting on the corners like a madman. He was just one hundred meters away from the finish line.
"Oh, Supra Maniac is now coming close to the finish line!" the announcer hyped up the arrival of the Supra driver. However, what happened next was something he never saw before.
The launch pad activated, sending the poor sod flying back.
"WHAT THE SHIIIIIIIIIIIT?! HE'S FLYIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! SUPRA MANIAC IS FLLLLLLYIIIIIIIIING!" the announcer absolutely lost it when he saw a Toyota Supra flying, prevented from crossing the finish line. Meanwhile, Dastardly took joy in it.
"Mwahahahah! It has worked, Muttley! Oh, the joy of achieving a victory! Nothing else feels better than-" boasted Dastardly before he saw a certain Formula One car driving next to him, which meant only one thing: his "colleague" Fritz accompanied him.
"Hey, Schlongman! Better speed up! Hahahahaha!" taunted Fritz before he sped up, overtaking Dastardly completely. The driver of the Mean Machine got his mood soured, being reminded of who were his co-workers.
"…..Oh, snazza frazza rashin' fashin, stupid Fritz!" grumbled Dastardly as he continued driving towards Zona Daft Capo.
Meanwhile, somewhere completely else there was an ordinary house. Nothing was particular about it at all, not even the resident was anything special. However, that day was a rather important one for the young adult looking like person. In a way, he resembled a Reserve Course student, but somewhat similar to Makoto and Chihiro in terms of appearance. He was standing in front of a mirror, mentally preparing himself for the day.
"Hi, my name is Yoshihara Hisao. I have always admired Hope's peak academy, the shining jewel of our country. The Ultimates were always people I aspired to be. Some of them, like Makoto and Chiaki are my idols, but now's the day where I can meet them! Today is my first day on my job as a security guard. I will protect it's shining hope at all cost!" the newly employed security guard talked to himself as if he was a protagonist of some sorts. He was aware of other students thanks to the information on the internet, specifically Hope's peak's own website. Yet, despite being more than excited to act as the protector of Hope's peak academy, there was a certain anxiety within him.
"Ah...but I'm so nervous about it...I'd be just a mere security guard compared to them...well I do hope I get along, though I've heard they're nice people." Yoshihara kept talking to himself, blushing on imagining how would he get along with such people, especially Chiaki and Makoto. He wanted to be just as kind as them, but felt like he was flopping at it. However, he gained courage, dressed himself up for the duty and was ready to go.
"All right, it's time for me to go. Hope's peak, here I come!" smiled Yoshihara to himself as he opened, anticipating a beautiful day outside.
Except, a person stood right in front of the entrance, sporting a particularly bloodthirsty grin. A blue skinned man, who had entire torso covered with armour that had a giant radio clock installed on it. He was accompanied by two grinning white tuxedo dressed men. The leading man was also armed with a giant tuning fork. None than less, Yoshihara did not expect to see Nefarious Tropy, the Master of Time,right in front of his entrance.
"Wait, what is-" panicked Yoshihara as his irises shrunk, but before he could do anything, jabbed him in the stomach with his tuning fork, sending him back in the house. Due to force of the jab, Yoshihara fell on the floor, feeling nothing short of complete pain in his stomach. However, it has only started for him as entered the house and closed the door. The blue skinned man took a look at his target, with his grin growing even bigger. Yoshihara tried to crawl back, but was soon incapacitated with a strike from the tuning fork. Such attack crushed his knee, causing the intended security guard to scream in utter pain. Then, another strike followed, crushing his other knee. The pain was too much to bear, Yoshihara couldn't move at all, allowing to step closer to him as he started beating him up with his weapon. Only place he didn't aim was his head, because the scientist still wanted him to be alive, just to relish in his suffering. With each strike, bones were crushed as the boy kept screaming in pure agony.
"Please, stop! Please, it hurts! It hurts….stop...stop it…stop it!" Yoshihara, all bloodied up, begged him to stop. Suddenly, did cease striking him with his tuning fork, giving him a false hope. However, the scientist had something prepared for him.
"Oh no, the fun's about to begin!" cackled as sparks started to fly out of his weapon, electrifying it in the process. Yoshihara had his hope of his life being spared crushed, with primal feel and panic replacing any emotion he had at the time.
"Wait wait wait please-" Yoshihara let out his last plea, but it fell on deaf ears. pressed the electrified tuning fork on his body, causing extremely high voltage electric current to go through his body. Immediate cardiac arrest followed as Yoshihara's life ceased to be. All he wanted to become was a guardian of the academy he adored, but what he got was a death delivered by the adversary of the aforementioned institution. Last twitches showed before he was gone. As a final sign of disrespect, kicked his corpse as he smelled the burning smell of the electrocution.
"Mmm, screams were exquisite, but now..." complimented , satisfied with the amount of suffering he caused before his expression changed to a dismissive scowl. His two henchmen went inside the house to check the situation. "…Punksters, dispose of this waste of space now.".
Punksters carried out the body to the trunk of their car, a civilian version of Toyota Mega Cruiser, coloured in black. They would dispose of the corpse after would reach Zona Daft Capo. The man himself decided to call Herman to inform him about the last security guard that needed to be disposed of as of that moment.
"Herman, I have disposed the last past I needed. I'm going to come soon now." reported as he was already on his way to the Zona.
"Oh...yeah, come quickly." Herman invited him with a lot more hesitation compared to other members.
"Be glad that I even have time to come there." abruptly ended the call as he continued his journey towards Zona Daft Capo. "For whatever he's stuck at, it better be worth it.".
As all of Elite Bois were driving down towards their destination, Herman awaited them in front of the cafe where he dropped the trio before. He was chilling, accompanied with a boombox that would have its spotlight right on their arrival. For killing time, he utilized local newspaper. Near the cafe, he had his Ferrari FF parked nearby, just to show them his catch.
Suddenly, he heard engines revving and roaring in the distance. It was time.
"The time has come!" Herman pumped up his tentacles like a fist, preparing the boombox to play "Sir-Smokes-a-Lot" by Loud Lord. He placed himself in front of the Ferrari putting on sunglasses to look like a total boss. The octopus fella knew he played it at the right time as the song had a little bit of build up.
Just before the drop, he could hear sounds of engines becoming louder and loudrer.
Then...
"SWISHER BOY!"
The bass dropped harder than a meteorite when all vehicles of Elite Bois appeared, drifting in complete and perfect sync. Formula One of Mercedes, "Dollar Fisher" abomination of a motorcycle, the Mean Machine and a giant Mega Cruiser all cut the corner like it was nothing. Then they parked their respective vehicles as they all stepped outside, strolling towards Herman like the widest folk in the universe. All of Elite Bois wore sunglasses for the extra effect. Fritz smoked another blunt as all of them managed to reach their octopus colleague. Those who were not Elite Bois, such as Louisianos, Muttley and other two punksters, left the scene to continue their day normally. It was a meeting only meant for Elite Bois.
"Bois! I have been waiting for so long!" greeted Herman with all of enthusiasm he had. The day has finally come to advance their plans.
"Fancy Ferrari you got yourself, Herman." Dastardly noticed the Italian finesse right in front of his eyes. Other Elite Bois, including , were pleased with the sight of such car. Herman has joined in the ranks of having a neat car among Daft Capo's Elite Bois.
"By Maria, it is a fancy one! It was the only one in the store too!" Herman slapped the hood of his Ferrari, just to prove how rad it is.
"I gotta say, quite good! Quite good, my friend!" Dastardly gave him a thumbs up over his choice of car.
"Wassup, my hombre? What's giving the issue?" asked Fritz while he was enjoying smoking the kush.
"Well, you see my man, this is what we will discuss in our hideout. It's been twisting my knickers for some time!" suggested Herman.
"Just making sure, have you not utterly flopped your mission?" raised his eyebrow, just to check in if Herman did his job.
"My own mission? Not at all, Tropy." reassured Herman as he showed some of the less important documents. He knew he had to have physical proof with him, or else his scientist colleague wouldn't have been pleased at all. Even among Daft Capo circles, making satisfied was a monumental task.
"Good. Any sort of failure shall not be tolerated." threatened as he crossed his arms.
"Oh boy, then you would have to talk to some folk here." commented Herman, hinting that some folk didn't do their job. 's suspicions and lack of expectations for underlings were close to becoming confirmed. After their little discussion, they all went in towards their hideout.
[LOCATION: REDACTED]
Elite Bois sat behind the round table, which resided in a dark room. Only a mere, albeit strong lamp was the source of light, providing a rather covert feeling of such place. Each Elite Boi had a drink of their own choice, from something as simple as Latte Macchiato for Herman to something as "sophisticated" as red wine for . There were also some poker cards placed on the table, in a case they would be in the mood for some poker.
"Well bois, here's the issue: it seems like that the scrub zone is, in fact, a more serious opponent than we imagined. They are not only fighting to keep that scrub zone in their hands, but they also plan to subvert our efforts elsewhere...and the thing is I have zero idea what to do!" Herman began explaining their problem with Hope's peak.
"Are you having a laugh now? A bunch of oxygen wasting brats are being a thorn in Daft Capo's side?" immediately denounced Herman's words upon learning that socially awkward teenagers proved to be troublesome for a mafia.
"To be fair, we have placed minimal manpower there, since it is just a high school, just that the income of it is juicy." Coyote raised a sign that said the aforementioned statement, since he was still legally not allowed to talk. That was his main communication with other Elite Bois. Tom, on other hand, committed to being fully mute (unless circumstances proved to be extreme) until the very end.
"Just like Coyote's sign said, we have taken it too lightly, but that's not the end of it. Manhattan Boys are assisting them as well, weirdly enough." elaborated Herman
"Say, they want another Bundesliga in their asses? I can provide with delight!" chuckled Fritz, welcoming the idea of him kicking them like a ball amid an intense regional football match.
"Denmark didn't demoralize them? How strange, but that also means they have prepared themselves more. And looks like penguins got their compatriots as well." Dastardly scratched his chin, wondering on how penguins haven't gave up after Fritz totalled them. Tom wondered the same, perhaps thinking about how to inflict a bigger humiliation upon their avian adversaries.
"So bois, what do now?" asked Herman for their input to put up a new plan to deal with their enemy.
"Analyze the threat first. Skip those antarctic hens and get to those brats." suggested , which gave the octopus an idea.
"Aight, uno momento." Herman raised his tentacle like an index finger as he briefly went away from the table, only to bring in about thirty five files that contained information about students, such as their name, blood type and general description of them. He placed them on the table in a case they would need them. "I've got every single document of students, including reserve course, but only ones so far that are really relevant are from class 78th and...class 77-B, that scrub debauchery.".
"Call in the spies as well. I wanna hear their opinions as well." additionally advised Fritz, since he remembered that their primary plan was for the spies and Herman to obtain information. Provoking students was a secondary, personal thing for Herman that he knew the exact reason of.
"Pronto!" Herman went out of the room to bring five lower ranking members with him. Once he returned, four people accompanied him. "Here they are, bois!".
Zapatta, Suifta, Figottoni and the Ultimate Scammer arrived to the scene, with first three having a displeased expression on their faces, while the scam guy looked quite delighted. Elite Bois gave them intense looks, demanding for their presence to be acknowledged.
"...oh no, not these assholes…" sighed Zapatta as they all stepped forth. However, Elite Bois noticed that one person was not present there, even though he should have been.
"Wait, where the fuck is Rando?" wondered Fritz about his punkster colleague or so called "Swisher boi".
"Uno momento, again." Herman went out of the room again to get his advisor there. After navigating through the hideout, he heard some kind of intriguing music, consisting of a beat and whistles. He recognized the song, it was Magic Mamaliga, done by OMFO, known for its usage in a movie where a comedian tricked an entire village. Herman immediately knew that Rando was too busy jamming it to the "pigeon music", so he forcefully opened the door, finding out that he was doing just that: aggressively bobbing his head like a pigeon while tap dancing.
"Rando! Move your ass there!" ordered Herman, but the music was so loud that not even a sound from his mouth was heard. The octopus lad went away to another, only to bring in a megaphone with him once he returned.
"RANDO, ELITE BOIS HAVE COME!" shouted Herman in the megaphone, just audible enough for Rando to hear it. The lad turned his neck as quickly as an owl and then pressed stop on his boombox.
"Oh? Then, I must come!" announced Rando as he sprinted to the meeting room, arriving at record time, despite being late. Herman, upon gathering all people he needed, returned to the same room as well.
"Ah, pardon me, my bois. I was just jamming to the best music ever." apologized Rando, which warranted a groan from and Tom slapping his own forehead. Some other members were at similar amount of disbelief, especially those that had an unfavorable opinion on him.
"You for real?" Zapatta squinted at him, already being done with his shit. However, Rando picked tone in his voice and quickly, but menacingly turned his head, glaring at him with a frustrated expression.
"Do you plan to insult my music taste?" calmly, yet with a voice filled with malicious intent, threatened Rando, causing his rockstar co-worker to back off immediately. Zapatta shook his head in an internal panic before Rando turned his attention towards Elite Bois."Anyway, my bois, what do you need us for?".
"Info on our enemy. Spill the beans." Coyote lifted a sign that expressed such demand.
"At your service." nodded Figottoni, offering help, even though he had, deep down, mixed feeling on it.
"Ayy, I've got some stuff for ya, my bois." Ultimate Scammer rubbed his hands in delight, prepared to "spill the beans" at any time.
"...Eh, sorry bois, I've got nothing really, unless you want to know about taste of music from others." apologized Suifta as she scratched her head, remembering that all she learned about them was their opinions on music….or perhaps that was an excuse for her not wanting to be there.
"Yeah, me neither. Got nothing." Zapatta joined in as well, but partially because he didn't want to deal with Elite Bois.
"You just ain't gonna tell cuz ya-" taunted Ultimate Scammer, but before he could finish it, Zapatta managed to cut him short.
"Do the world a favor and shut the fuck up!" snapped Zapatta at him, falling right for his bait.
"If you two have nothing to tell, then sod off to the "Irrelevant Zone"." retorted , halting the bickering between the rockstar and a scammer.
"Oh, I ain't taking shit from the biggest asshole in the entire mafia!" snarled Zapatta at him, not even caring about if he was an Elite Boi.
"Let me ask you this: What is it that you do for living? Scream in a microphone in front of brainless morons for few hours. How does it compare to manipulating god's dominion as I please? Tell me, how does the Ultimate Rockstar compare to THE Master of Time?" retaliated with such verbal force that it left other Elite Bois impressed, sole exception being Dastardly, who related to Zapatta instead. Even Scammer and Rando were stunned by the comeback. Zapatta, knowing that he screwed up big time by provoking the boss of Elite Bois (but not the boss of the entire organization,that person is someone else completely), remained silent for some time, contemplating if he even enjoyed his time in Daft Capo.
"...He's off his knocker again…" Dastardly rested his head on his arm, feeling ever more exhausted by shenanigans of others.
"...Fuck you, smurf man!" Zapatta flipped off as he showed him the middle finger.
"Can't even come with a decent comeback, eh? Just shows you how utterly thoughtless you are! Now get out of my sight." scoffed with a smirk on his face. Zapatta and Suifta, both feeling defeated, left the meeting room once and for all, going to the "Irrelevant Zone", which was nothing more than a living room for punksters that are deemed, either by others or themselves, as useless.
"HAHAHAHAHA, ROOOOASTEEEEEEEED!" Ultimate Scammer taunted behind his back, pointing his index finger at the door.
"Anyway, with annoyances gone, let us focus on useful members instead. Tell us what do you know about our adversary." advised to continue their analysis of their adversaries.
"I'd suggest that we review our foes individually, then categorize them. I shall tell more about them as we proceed with reviews." suggested Figottoni that the info given will be delivered at most appropriate time.
"Hmmm...not a bad idea, I must say. Then Herman, begin the procedure!" scratched his chin before he gave out an order. By the time they were bickering, Herman finished organizing files for their classes. Each class had their own pile of documents.
"Just in time! Now, we shall start with class 77-B, because they have been bigger annoyances. We might do just that one as of now, since class 78th is kinda more on passive side." decided Herman as he randomly pulled out the a document as if it was a lottery ticket that costed like one dollar. "The first scrub we will analyze is…".
Herman took a closer look at the document, wondering if the person is even worth of being analyzed.
"….Eh?" Herman tilted his head (or more likely, his entire half of the body) before he threw the documented, revealing that it was about some freckled redheaded photographer. "Mahiru Koizumi, that...uh...photographer.".
"Oh look, Strawberry Shortcake got a haircut. How quaint." jeered Dastardly upon seeing a picture of her.
"She looks like the definition of "basic bitch", if you ask me. Is she of any significance?" commented Fritz before she asked Herman's opinion on her threat level, since she, even for an Ultimate, looked like an average redhead at best and someone who belongs on a children's cartoon at worst.
"I ask the same, my man. I ask the same." Herman shook with his head, with the question remaining unclear.
"I have an objection!" Coyote suddenly and aggressively lifted a sign, with "objection" written in large, bold red letters. His brain cells have kicked in, he was one of the first ones to figure out the way Mahiru could prove to be an annoyance.
"Oh? Go on then, explain how this Strawberry Shortcake is of any concern." Dastardly demanded an explanation as he interlocked his fingers like a big brained anime villain that had everything going according to his plan. Coyote suddenly brought up a rather large blackboard out of nowhere, needing it for his explanation, since constantly changing signs would have been tedious for him.
"Do you really need a blackboard for this?" groaned Dastardly, but that didn't stop Coyote from drawing the entire explanation. He started with an intentionally badly drawn caricature of Koizumi cackling like a witch, taking photos of equally badly drawn punksters. Then, he drew the next step, consisting of her transferring files on her computer. Afterwards, Coyote hypothesized that she would upload photos on social media, where they would be exposed. Once he finished explaining, he felt pride.
"That would have been a valid concern if you haven't forgotten that we have already taken care of that aspect." reminded him that they're safe from media exposure, since someone keeps taking down any remote mention of them, even if the name of Daft Capo isn't explicitly mentioned.
"However, I do see his point. While they might not have exposed us publicly, they could use photographic evidence to aid themselves." Rando raised his finger, countering the notion that Mahiru isn't a threat, although he only focused on the smaller scale of it.
"Hmmm...come to think of it, he's right. We should prevent them from obtaining any information whatsoever." agreed Fritz, suggesting for preventive measures against any Hope's peak's attempts from getting info on them.
"You cannot comprehend the level of my genius." Coyote lifted a sign, boasting about his own brainpower as he wiggled his eyebrows.
"Very well then, you have a convincing argument. However, this rather insignificant looking girl should be easy to dispose of. Isn't that right, Herman?" saw their point, but insisted that the freckled girl was not a physical threat.
"She's the type to yell a lot, but the moment you threaten her, she crumbles. She gets a medium threat for me, only because of capability of obtaining information." decided Herman as he put her in a place he reserved as "medium threat". He initially had other two places on the table, one labeled "utter joke" and other one labeled "high priority threat".
"Mild threat, it is. Next one!" concluded as he demanded for the next student to be analyzed.
"Our next scrub to deal with is….ohohoho, now this one should be familiar to some!" Herman picked up the next student, which seemed to be a pink haired mechanic, the former friend of Zapatta and Suifta. "I present Kazuichi Soda, the mechanic guy!".
"Oh, shark man! That guy's an absolute wanker, hahaha! He also hanged around with Zapatta a lot, he thought he was his pal! Hahahaha, can you believe that?" Ultimate Scammer recognized him on the spot, not wasting a minute in mocking him.
"He looks like a Shqiptar." said Rando in such sudden and blunt fashion that it startled everyone in the room.
"Hahahah, dude what?" perplexed Ultimate Scammer, genuinely startled that Rando would already start with that side of his. Even was caught off guard, but he looked quite intrigued in what the punkster would say.
"...We're only second student in and you're already onto that, aren't you?!" Dastardly squinted as he mentally prepared himself the moment Rando would go on a rant about local Balkan stuff.
"Am I wrong? He legit looks like someone I would see in Albania." Rando raised his eyebrow, genuinely unsure if he said anything incorrect.
"Yes, yes! We get it, now get on with it!" Dastardly pulled his mustache out of frustration, just wanting to prevent any incoming rants.
"Now the question is whether or not he's a threat." wondered Fritz as he scratched his stubble.
"Him? Threat?" Ultimate Scammer pointed at the picture of the mechanic before they had a moment of silence. The entire group, with sole exception of Figottoni, exploded into laughter. Tom and Scammer were even rolling on the floor from laughing so hard. Once the group ceased it, they knew what the decision was.
"Unless he invents something, of course. Unlikely, of course." noted Fritz that even as much of a wanker he was to them, he could still utilize his talent to either maintain machines owned by Hope's peak or create a new one. However, that seemed unlikely, since it was questionable if students themselves could not only afford any proper equipment, but also maintain it.
"So, what would you say? Utter joke?" asked Herman for the final vote.
"Complete and utter joke! Onto the next one!" concluded before he demanded next student to be analyzed. Kazuichi's file was among first to be considered an utter joke.
"Our next one is….." Herman picked up the next file, only to find a five letter word tha immediately changed him from a boastful octopus to an exploded volcano. "...an...anime? An-ani-AAAAAAAAANNNNNNNIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMEEEEEEEEEEEEEE?!"
"Person who has went of their knocker today number two." Dastardly smacked his forehead.
"OOOH! OOOOH! OOOOOOOOOOOOH!" Herman started smacking himself like an enraged gorilla. Rest of the Elite Bois rolled with their eyes over Herman losing it over something so trivial, at least according to them.
"Silence, you muppet!" ordered as he slammed his armored fist on the table, calming Herman on the sight. It was like Herman was genuinely afraid of 's wrath.
"….okay, next utter scrotum of a person is called Ryota Mitarai." calmly albeit with the voice full of disdain, Herman introduced them the animator. Figottoni suddenly reminiscent of conversations he took with Ryota back at Hope's peak, before frowning a bit upon knowing that such talks couldn't be conducted anymore.
"Ah, I was quite on good terms with hi-" Figottoni was just about to tell them about what he learned from Ryota before he saw the file. Suddenly, it was like his perception of Ryota completely shattered. He wasn't a stout stoic albeit contemplative man, but rather a scrawny looking whelp that was on par with Makoto when it came to looking more softer than usual standards. "WHAT?! Excuse me for raising my voice, but that's not how I remember him to look like at all.".
"Come to think of it...I never saw this guy either, but I will beat the hell out of him! Not much we can do with him, utter joke material." Herman preemptively placed the file of an animator into the utter joke category. "Alright, next one is….".
A file of another person that Herman wasn't fond of was selected as the next one, though the only one that if he ever discussed about them with class 77-B, they would have agreed with him.
"..oh Mama Maria, it's the living cabbage!" sighed Herman as he threw the file on the middle of the table. Two non-Elite Boi personnel immediately recognized their former blissfully unaware accomplice.
"Oooh, this lunatic! Gotta admit, he was pretty useful, especially for being utterly wack. He's the reason why we knew they're gonna go on offense against us." revealed Ultimate Scammer while still remembering Komaeda's ramblings about hope and all that bullshit.
"Credit goes to me. I planned it all along. I say great success!" Rando pointed at himself, sporting a smirk on his face. Their covert plan was quite a surprise for the rest of Elite Bois, including .
"Oh, you two did? Well done, I must say! You two get a raise." in a rare instance, complimented someone while promising them a raise in their paycheck. The average punkster's salary was, even compared to not so illegal jobs, astronomical. Usual estimates of their income was about twenty five thousand dollars at minimum, Daft Capo sponsored tax included. However, it just wasn't enough for anyone in Daft Capo. They wanted even MORE! MORE AND MORE!
"FUCK YEAH!" Ultimate Scammer and Rando both pumped their fists at the same time, welcoming their raise with delight.
"However, he isn't so much of use anymore. He has been expelled due to him being a threat to his own classmates." clarified Figottoni while also revealing that he was no longer present and by extension, no longer a threat.
"Oh really? Well...that's the first time I actually agree with scrub zone. That mofo was just too weird." for once in his lifetime, Herman agreed with opinion of Hope's peak academy students.
"So, he's the utter joke material?" Fritz raised his eyebrow as he had crossed arms.
"No, that mofo deserves a special place." Herman moved away from the table, just to throw Nagito's file in the trash bin, where he thought he belonged. "Here, enjoy it, mofo".
Herman returned to the table to continue the analysis of their enemies, picking up another file. However that time, it was someone more interesting for Daft Capo.
"Our next one is….oh my, an actual threat for once. Peko Pekoyama, part of the Kuzuryu clan." announced Herman as he placed the file in the middle of the table once again, immediately gaining their attention. Just from the looks alone they could tell that she was a different deal compared to other classmates.
"Hooooooo! Now that's hot!" whistled Fritz like a cartoon wolf seeing a pretty lady.
"It's slightly amusing to see how much can you determine how much of a threat our enemy is just by their looks. I do question on why does she use the sword, but any weapon wielder could prove to be troublesome for punksters." commented while also expressing interest in her.
"What concerns me about her most is the fact she has ties with Kuzuryu clan. Harming her could provide a reaction from them." Figottoni expressed his worry about Kuzuryu clan interfering with their business.
"I am aware of their status as the largest yakuza, but I can assure you they won't be threat for a long time. All we need to do is to notify our ace in the hole." grinned , hinting about the possible situation of Kuzuryu intervention backfiring on them due one simple factor.
"Ace in the hole? What do you mean?" Figottoni raised his eyebrow, unsure what he meant. Dastardly and Scammer were just as confused, however , Fritz, Tom, Wile and Rando only replied with grins on their face. Herman knew what they were talking about but couldn't make a face because he was an octopus and octopuses have beaks for mouths.
"You know, speaking of Kuzuryu clan, here's another. Fuyuhiko Kuzuryu, the heir." Herman switched the topic of conversation as he added the file of Kuzuryu heir himself. Another student that quickly gained their attention.
"Ah, they did seem to hang around, but I do think it's because of their deeper bond." Figottoni reported his observations regarding them.
"Hmmm...the guy looks less of a threat than his girl does." noted Fritz, taking in factor that Fuyuhiko was considerably shorter than Peko and looked less physically capable in general.
"He's the heir, though. Wouldn't he be more of a threat?" argued Dastardly that Fuyuhiko's status as a threat was more symbolic than physical one. Anything harming him would quickly make heads roll.
"For once in his life, Dastardly is right." Coyote lifted a sign while sporting a smug smile on his long face.
"I was talking about the combat capability. I am very well aware of that aspect, Schlongman." debated Fritz, knowing exactly what words to use in order to provoke him.
"Oh, you call me that one more time and I swear-" grumbled Dastardl.
"So the conclusion is that they're first ones to be classified as high priority threats." interrupted, cutting any bickering short as they placed both of them in "high priority threat" category.
"Correct. First ones to have that honor. Now we are gonna to deal with…" Herman picked the next one, almost had a laugh until he took a closer look at her description, being absolutely floored upon reading some of facts about their targeted monarch. "...oh. Look at that. Sonia Nevermind, the Princess of Novoselic.".
"Novoselic? Hold the fuck up." Rando suddenly took away Sonia's documents to see where exactly Novoselic is. With a simple Google search, he found out that Kingdom of Novoselic was located on one of islands near Croatian coastline, being nearest to an island called Pag. Rando swept sweat off his forehead, relieved that Sonia turned out to be closest to Croatian ancenstry. "Oh, they declared independence from Croatia around the time Yugoslavia went to the shitsville. She should consider herself lucky….but I have admit, she is relatively based. Not as based as Bosnia, but based enough.".
The one side of Rando that Dastardly did not want to see at all appeared in full force.
"...What, would you have a problem if she was any other nationality?" Dastardly condemned him for some his opinions.
"Yes I would, if she was a Serb, then I'd have her head on the platter." Rando started talking far more aggressively than before, even more so when he thought Zapatta was about to insult his music taste.
"RANDO! NOT THIS RIGHT NOW! YOU'RE JAPANESE, WHY DO YOU EVEN CARE IT?!" Dastardly started yelling at him, trying his best to prevent him from ranting about local politics. However…
The following statement said by the person below has views which author does not support at all. Proceed to listen with caution.
"First of all, I'm only half Japanese, which is pretty cringe. I'm also half Bosnian, which gives me pride, joy and feeling of based! Second of all, I'm gonna say it right now: if I was in charge of Operation Deliberate Force in 1995, I would have sent a Tomahawk on every single Serbian house there is every single day until nothing but sea remains!" Rando began ranting with full verbal force as he slammed his fist on the table, emphasizing that he won't sleep soundly until the country of his ire was wiped off from Earth. Shocked silence from everyone followed, not expecting such intensity from a person that called himself "chill". However, became very interested in his world view.
"You need a chill pill or something?" Ultimate Scammer offered him a can of beer, free of charge.
"YOU CAN'T JUST COMPLETELY RAZE A COUNTRY, YOU UTTER PSYCHO!" Dastardly kept yelling at him, condemning him for wanting to go through such lengths. He was a mafioso, but not someone who would desire razing countries. Other Elite Bois didn't say much, but only because they were amused by their argument.
"If they can cry about getting a taste of Tomahawks and JDAMs while they express zero remorse shelling every single village nearby, then I can say it is a moral obligation that Serbia gets the bombings. Am I only one who thinks that you're not an honest person unless you want something bombed to oblivion?" Rando aggressively insisted on his point before he turned towards the rest of the Elite Bois to get their thoughts on it. While they had certain things they particularly disliked (such as Herman's hatred of Peugeots), they weren't sure if they would go through such lengths that they would bomb it. However, they could tell that Rando meant countries.
"Yes, you are-" Dastardly wanted to end the conversation once and for all, but the boss of Elite Bois wanted to continue his frustration.
"Question, which country has the most marsupials?" asked , hinting at the fact that he really really really REALLY hated marsupials, especially bandicoots. At that point, Dastardly resorted to gibberish.
"Australia, the land where everything tries to fuck you up." quickly answered Herman.
"Then I'd gladly have that country off the map." smirked , knowing that he was being a massive dick towards Dick. The sheer audacity of his reason caused Dastardly to cease with mumbling and be so utterly stunned that he just gave up trying to argue with them. Whether or not wanted to destroy Australia was pretty clear: he sincerely did.
"...For marsupials? You gotta be kidding me….Why marsupials?" Dastardly rubbed his forehead in utter disbelief.
"No, he gets it. This is why is the most based Daft Capo member." countered Rando, approving 's views on the topic. He was immensely glad that he was on the same wavelength, complimenting him to be "based". That word, by Rando's logic, meant that the higher the chance was for you to end up in Hague on a trial for crimes against humanity, the cooler you are, unless your crimes were directed towards Bosnia.
"I see you know the truth." smugly grinned , flexing over everyone to assert his superiority.
"...So, about Sonia?" Herman, shocked at what waters did the conversation go, decided to bring up the analysis back on track.
"High priority threat and before anyone says anything, take a look at this." Rando immediately decided as he showed them the description, putting emphasis on a part that Sonia Nevermind did, in fact, had to operate a main battle tank during her elementary years. The description explicitly told that she was in charge of an M-84, former Yugoslav variant of a famous mass produced Soviet T-72 main battle tank. Another additional fun fact they learned is that Sonia got military training, meaning that she was a more fierce opponent to consider than rest of classmates.
"Oooh, spicy gal! I like it!" complimented Fritz as he raised one of his eyebrows, accompanied with a satisfied grin.
"Actually...come to think of it, do you think that harming her would have political implications?" Rando brought up a point in a much more chill state than before.
"Rando, enough with your politics PLEASE-" fumed Dastardly.
"No, he's got a point. We could get our asses on Novoselic's hit list if we beat her up." Fritz concurred with Rando about the possible outcome. Novoselic was just like Kuzuryu clan, something to be considered when it came to planning.
"Hold on, let me check something." Rando wanted to make sure that his concerns were in the right place. Once again, Google made his job easier, finding out that Novoselic was a fully neutral country (as long as other countries allowed it). He was rather surprised, but the threat level of Novoselic dropped down big time. If Novoselic was under North Atlantic Treaty Organization or Commonwealth of Independent States, things would have been much more threatening to them, even if they had their ace in the hole on their side. "Oh, they pulled off a Switzerland. Unless they have mercenaries, we can beat her ass. High priority, it still remains.".
Sonia Nevermind joined the ranks of Peko and Fuyuhiko as a high priority threat, much to surprise of everyone.
"Our next one is...I have to admit, this guy's a sneaky fucker. Gundham Tanaka, the wizard man, the first one of those scrub….no, he ain't a scrub. He's a motherfucker. This motherfucker was the first one to beat my ass." Herman introduced them one of the few students of Hope's peak that he had begrudging respect for. When they saw his picture, they thought Herman was having a laugh.
"You mean to tell me that this clown was the first one to land a hit on you there?" Dastardly nearly had a laugh by himself. However, Tom and Coyote immediately disagreed with him, noting that there was something indeed strange about Gundham. Not his chunni mannerisms, but rather something beneath the surface.
"Clown? No, not him. Mofo's craftier one, he can make animals do his bidding. Granted I saw hamsters, but considering his talent, he could also probably have more dangerous stuff underneath his sleeves. Also, he's probably the closest to the Manhattan Boys." clarified Herman while also expressing his theories regarding his role.
"Hmm….there has to be more about him. Definitely high priority threat material." Rando scratched his chin, relating to the feeling Tom and Coyote had.
"I'll take your word for it. Now, onto the next one!" approved his decision as a high priority threat, even though he doubted it before sending out his next demand.
"I'd like to have his accomplice as the high priority threat. Nekomaru Nidai, the loudest fucker in the school. Also one of the first to beat my ass." Herman introduced the manager just as slightly more seriously as he did with the wizard man. Contrary to the aforementioned student, Elite Boi immediately got the clue on why was Nekomaru a threat.
"Hmmm…..this one is understandable. I'd expect to take more caution with these two." didn't object that much, which was another rare occurrence with him.
"But he also has his own accomplice. Akane Owari, a girl who has a fist inside her head instead of brain. Peanut sized, of course." Herman introduced his training partner as well, a gal that was known for love of a fight and food. However, he didn't hold her in same respect as he did with Gundham and Nekomaru.
"Oooh, another fighting one! Man, three of them already, this is gonna be good!" Fritz liked her on the first sight.
"Now here's the thing. Nekomaru is a high priority threat, but despite having a connection with him, peanut brain knocks her down to...I'd say, medium threat?" Herman explained his choice on knocking down Akane on a lower rank.
"I agree with that." Coyote pulled out a sign once again, sporting the same smug look as before.
"Medium, it is. Now, who's the next one?" approved the choice before he demanded the next analysis.
"This guy. Teruteru Hanamura, the one with an uncontrollable libido. Honestly, he's an utter joke." Herman picked possibly the one person that was impossible to take seriously, even among the furniture...or perhaps that was Herman's work after all?
"Another Shqiptar, I see." Rando once again started everyone with his bluntness.
"….The day when you will stop obsessing with Balkans is gonna be the day world peace will be achieved…" winced Dastardly at every time Rando would go in that waters.
"Which is never." bluntly stated Rando, seeming to enjoy such fact.
"Anyone has objections about this choice?" asked Herman out of a jest, since they already knew the outcome.
But not before the whole group, bar Figottoni, exploded into a laughing fit once again.
"Dio's mio, onto next one…" commented Herman before he picked the next file. The student presented in it was quite a surprise. "...wait what? Who's this "Ultimate Impostor" guy?".
Unlike every file before, only content on it was just the title of their talent. Nothing about them was present, from a picture to the basic description. Other Elite Bois were shocked as well to find out that one of their threats was total enigma.
"What the hell, there's jackshit here. How did this get a pass?" wondered Fritz, noticing how void of content it was, especially compared to rest of documents.
"Could this be "Ryota" I knew of?" Figottoni gave a question to himself, wondering if Ultimate Impostor was his true friend all along.
"Was he fat?" asked Ultimate Scammer in a derisive tone.
"Stout but yes." Figottoni corrected him on semantics, giving him a squint for such disrespectful remark.
"Then likely that he was." stated Ultimate Scammer that he probably was his true former friend.
"So….what would say about a fella without any info on?" wondered Herman on what sort of classification would he give to them.
"High priority threat. No further questioned needed for it. By the way, what's the percentage of that pile of lard trying to infiltrate Daft Capo?" declared while also bringing up a possible scenario on how would Ultimate Impostor try to sabotage their plans. Figottoni glared at for such remark, but he kept his mouth shut.
100% was the percentage Coyote displayed on his sign board.
"Then we shall make preemptive measures. I will need to think about them though. High priority threat, it is." declared as the file was put on the pile. "Anyway, next!".
"The next scrub is…..hahahaha, this one! Hiyoko Saoinji, the gremlin! Also, Zapatta's third favorite scrub." Herman laughed as he showed them the biggest bully in the class. Not in terms of size though, she was by far the shortest….so far.
"Just from witnessing her makes me want to punt her." winced at seeing her, keeping in mind that he would kick her on sight.
"Eh, all you need to do is just lightly insult her and she will crumble like crumbs of crossaint! Utter joke, it is!" Herman placed her in the "utter joke" pile before he moved on to the next student, a familiar face to her. "Now the next one, ohohoho, another good one. The one that, somehow, resisted Eyeschluss but still got Herman'd is none other than Ibuki Mioda!".
"Oh, that's the girl with the fat ass!" Ultimate Scammer recognized her thanks to the hearsay among whole Daft Capo.
"Give pics, now!" Rando demanded to see her booty, preferably fully naked one.
"Okay, we will get them...somehow. But now, what do you think of her as a threat level?" Herman promised that pictures of her posterior will be obtained, but he shifted back to their original topic.
Ibuki Mioda...as a threat.
The entire group roared with laughter, hardly even imagining that she would hurt a fly. Figottoni got enough of it and silently left the meeting room, feeling done with their mockery. She was thrown on the "utter joke" pile as the laughing kept going.
"Anyway, our next one is…." Herman continued laughing until he saw which student was picked as the next one. The laughter stopped, instead being replaced by a feeling which can be best described as "is it even worth it to poke fun at this person". The aforementioned student was a sheepish looking nurse, with her expression screaming pure anxiety. "….oh, this is just pathetic to look at. Like, damn, it's not even funny. Mikan Tsumiki, the one that's just not even fun.".
However, when Elite Bois took a closer look at her, laughed at her, just out of spite. Rest of them thought she was too pitiable to be laughed at. Not even feeling sympathy for her, just considering provoking her to be as fun as watching the paint dry.
"I don't think there's any question where she belongs." Fritz pointed at the "utter joke" pile.
"No, actually. I have a special place deserved for her." Herman gave her a special place, simply titled "Pathetic". An honor that was only reserved for her. "Here, enjoy it.".
He went on to the next student, a student that should have been dismissed immediately had it not been for a certain discovery.
"Now this one...This one is actually kind of interesting. Hajime Hinata, a guy that wasn't supposed to be in this class in the first place." Herman announced while revealing that ahoge man himself was supposed to be in Reserve Course. An intrigue among the group was born.
"I couldn't have seen a more unremarkable person in my life! Now, why does he get a special treatment?" immediately scoffed at Hajime's appearance, but he was curious enough for why he was placed among the Ultimates. A hint of an ulterior reason for such decision appeared in his mind, but he didn't want to be assumptive about it.
"Well, what do you know? I've got the document right here!" Herman suddenly revealed a different kind of document. Instead of being a profile, it was an official plea from Chisa Yukizome. Lengthy paragraphs of her begging the establishment to put him in class 77-B, mentioning that he has to be "protected from it". Although it remained unclear towards what "it" was, they had theories.
"The school itself wanted him for something? Well now." Fritz raised his eyebrow, curious about his usage.
"One problem is, I don't know exactly for what thing they needed him. I've looked through all files, but nothing useful was found." further added Herman that despite his information mining, he found nothing about Hajime's role in whatever Hope's peak wanted.
"Seems like there's some stuff that they're hiding from everyone. We will need to dig deeper, although access of it would be easier once we have the academy in our hands!" announced that they should obtain more information from the school, even if they would have to rely on their ace in the hole.
"Now, the threat level of him? He looks like an utter joke!" said Dastardly, thinking that Hajime was just an ordinary boy, not worthy of any concern.
"Eeeeh, not so fast about that one. Something's weird about him, especially how academy wants him." hesitated Herman. Normally, he would have agreed with him, but that document caused him to have doubts.
"What about his fighting capability? I'm pretty sure his ass would get wrecked quickly." wondered Fritz.
"Hmmm...I'd still put him in a medium threat. Don't let guard down around him." Herman insisted as he placed him among Akane and Mahiru, just in case. He had two files of class 77-B remaining, with the last remaining student. "Now the last student, but not the last person we will talk about from class 77-B is…".
Herman's mood changed from a chill octopus to a raging Italian once he laid eyes upon the document of his arch-nemesis.
"OH, DANNATA NOOB! SEI LA PEGGIOR ZAPPA CHE ABBIA MAI VISTO! ORA, PREPARATI PER LO SCIOPERO COME NON HAI MAI VISTO PRIMA, CANE SPORCO!"
"Ayy-kay-ayy Chiaki Nanami." clarified Rando as he took the document from his tentacles and placed it in the middle of the table. When the rest of Elite Bois saw her, they roared in laughter just from the fact how much of an absolute doofus she looked like.
"What's so special about this failure at life that you are so raging about?" scoffed , finding it extremely difficult to believe that she was the one that set off Herman and wounded his pride.
"IL NOOB MI HA PRESO A CALCI IL CULO!" kept fuming Herman. The rest of the Elite Bois figured out she has bested him in combat.
"Wait...you mean to tell me...she has defeated you?!" wheezed Dastardly as the group exploded into laughter once again, with the sole exception of Rando, who still remained cautious about her. There was a certain vibe to her that he felt.
"It's not the prospect that she punched me in the face that got me!" Herman defended himself while toning down his fuming.
"I'm surprised even that she can fight. I'll be looking forward to meeting her." grinned Fritz after he finished laughing at her as his opinion on her changed into a positive one solely because she could throw a punch. Others were still confident in their belief that she was an utter joke.
"Still, is there any significance to this practical joke of a button eyed mutt?" demanded for an explanation, making sure he was also dissing her as much as possible.
"Naaah, she's too baby. Utter joke for me." scoffed Ultimate Scammer.
"No, that noob gets a special category from me." seethed Herman as he put her on a special pile, simply titled "Noob Supreme". "Here, I hope you suffer, noob.".
"Who was the last person you are talking about, though?" asked Dastardly, noticing that he had one more document from class 77-B.
"Chisa Yukizome, their teacher!" Herman gave them a reveal of the Housekeeper. Another laughing fit was had on just how she resembled like a person that belongs in a children's cartoon. In fact, she would probably enjoy it.
"PFFFFFT HAHAHAHA! SHE BELONGS IN A KINDERGARTEN!" Ultimate Scammer started rolling on the floor, mockingly pointing at her picture.
"Hmmm, scrubs seem to adore her, like unnaturally amount. Especially the noob, who acts like a dog to her." further added Herman. Then, grinned as an idea dawned upon him. An idea that Herman would definitely welcome it. An actual plan was about to go into motion.
"Herman, I think you've just gave me an idea." annoucned , surprising Herman in the process.
"What's the plan, boss?" Coyote lifted a sign once again.
"Well, I think I will need to refine it, but she will be useful in the future." hinted while also thinking about the whole procedure, from the very start to the final execution of it. All he needed to do was to clean up details. Meanwhile, Rando had a choice of two files, one for Kazuichi and one for Teruteru.
"An ban, five rates, four mouses write me in my ear, swing swang out." Rando juggled with his finger before he stopped at Kazuichi's file, deciding that he will be the key element to his own plan. "In the mean time, I also thought of a plan!".
"Hold it there, you two! We haven't discussed class 78th! Who knows how much of a threat they pose!" cautioned Dastardly, bringing up a point of not talking about the other class as well.
"For the second time in his life, Dastardly is right." Coyote brought up a sign, once again.
"I think we can discuss them in detail later. To tell you the the truth, there's only three we truly need to worry about: Aoi, Kyoko and Sakura." summarized Herman while also promising that they will go into detail later, since their meeting has already been taking so long.
"Besides, this is only for class 77-B. Class 78th will get their own treatment." asssured , letting them know that their focus will be on tthe more active class. Then, he turned his attention towards the punkster. "Anyway, what's the plan you have, Rando?".
"I will personally beat up this Shqiptar's ass tomorrow. Then, just when they think they're safe again, Fritz will come and beat them up. If Fritz doesn't beat the fuck out of them, then we will send in Tom." Rando told them about his plan, with the lynchpin of it being Tom. Upon the mention of his name, Tom flexed with his arms, not showing any muscles. Those who were at the end of his fist would end up in a bit of a surprise.
"Oh shit, it's gonna be apocalypse for them if Tom is sent." Ultimate Scammer's irises shrunk, knowing that sending Tom anywhere would end up in utter annilihation. Understandably so, since anyone who has faced Tom before has never seen such sheer power before they faced the feline himself.
"Wouldn't it be better if we just storm the academy and call it a day?" argued Dastardly, going in for something that they have always done.
"I agree. It would be much quicker and satisfying." said Coyote's sign, once again siding with Dastardly. The day seemed rather odd when they agreed so much so far.
"Low manpower though." Herman raised his tentacle like a finger, reminding them that they need to stock up on numbers. It seemed like their transfer from Denmark to Japan was rather rushed. However, contrary to Dastardly's opinion, took a liking in Rando's plan.
"Hmmmm...yesss...perhaps your plan could be implemented in my plan. All you really need to do is send them a message." scratched his chin before approving it. Rando's idea gave him a plethora of new ways to conduct his own plan.
"Ayyy, whatever your plan is gonna be, it's gonna be genius!" Rando pumped his fist, satisfied that the most "based" Elite Boi was being oddly positive of him that day. He has never been so approving of a punkster before, usually dismissing them as "blithering idiots" or "utter muppets.".
"Still low compared to my genius." Coyote sneaked in a sign just to flex on everyone. It seemed like Herman got his wish granted, they have finally come up with the plan.
"Now, anyone else has something to say?" asked one more time before he would call the meeting over.
"...Lets take a break because I do not want to deal with nonsense anymore." Dastardly stood up first and left the room, just feeling absolutely done. Rest of them remained until the scientist said otherwise.
"Everyone except Rando, leave this room now." ordered as they all exited the room, minding their own business for the time until the next meeting. However, just like the blue skinned scientist said, the punkster remained. Rando pointed at himself, wondering what needed him for.
"Well now, you have proven to be remarkably exceptionable in Japan, moreso than any other punkster. I consider you giving the promotion to an Elite Boi." proudly smiled as he gave him an offer to rise up the ranks.
"Oh me? Elite Boi? FUCK YEAH, MY MAN! I'll gladly take it." Rando did not hesitate at all accepting it. He has officially become an Elite Boi and he loved every moment of it.
"Consider promotion accepted. Keep up your performance." warned him to not stagnate when it came to executing Daft Capo's tasks. The look on his face meant that if his caution wasn't heeded, there will be consequences.
"Ever since Netherlands, we have been told to step up our game. And so I did. I will cook up some genius plans as well! But now, I must go jamming." saluted Rando as he went outside, since he knew that all that needed was done. was left alone, grinning to himself about the plan he was about to execute.
"Now, I must brainstorm more about the plan. Hope's peak, enjoy your moments, for they will be your last…." thought to himself before he let out a laugh full of sheer, concentrated malice. Hope's peak was about to get the taste of Elite Boi's power and the first one to send the message will be none other than the most recent one, who went by the name of Rando Gyroswaggerić.