Disclaimer: I do not own DanMachi or any of Omori's original characters, nor do I make any profit off of my writing.

"Nyaa? Are you alright?"

Bell blinked up at the catgirl through his veil of blood and tried to regain whatever composure and dignity he had left. He was trained to be regal, to act the part of the crowned prince of the elves. He couldn't possibly mess this up!

"AHHHHHH!"

Perfection.

Obviously, he couldn't have the incredibly beautiful swordswoman know he was a high elf, he was on the run for heaven's sake! He had to keep a low profile. That is why he ran away screaming.

No other reason.

It wasn't because she was really pretty.

Nope.

He was a high elf, the first-born son of Larfal Ljos Alf, king of the elves. He did not run away screaming from pretty, golden-haired, catgirls. He didn't.

Aiz's golden eyes followed the elf as he sprinted away at high speeds, wondering sadly if it was something she said. She always seemed to scare people off. Riveria said it was because Aiz was simply too loving and could come on too strong, but she held herself back this time! She didn't even pounce on him! And he looked very pounceable.

But, Riveria-sama said that pouncing on people was weird and shouldn't be done without consent. Aiz thought that defeated the whole purpose of pouncing in the first place, it was meant to be a surprise! Who didn't like surprises?

Riveria, apparently.

Stupid goddesses.

Then again, Riveria-sama may have been on to something, that weird red-haired, pervert beggar always asked for Aiz to pounce on her.

She didn't. That woman was weird.

Aiz sighed before spinning on a heel and walking back to where the rest of her familia was surely heading back up. Finn wouldn't let them fall behind schedule just because a few minotaurs broke away from the group. She liked Finn; he was almost the perfect size for a toy. It just sucked that he carried a squirt bottle around with him at all times, the jerk.

The neko had only just turned the corner to stand before the rest of her party when a light shining on the cavern wall caught her eye. There wasn't enough time for anybody to snatch away the sword from Tiona's hand before Aiz was already bounding off after the reflected torchlight and pouncing on the wall. She lifted her hands ever so slowly to see if she finally caught it, to her dismay, she didn't.

"Damnit, Tiona! Stop doing that!"

"Awww! Come on, oneechan! It's just a bit of harmless fun!"

Aiz ignored them, instead choosing to allow her tail to swing back and forth through the air playfully as she lowered herself to the ground and renewed her search for her prey. Truthfully, she had no idea why the two called each other sisters. Well, okay, she knew why they called each other sisters, she didn't get how they could insist they were twins.

They didn't even look similar!

Tiona was flat and loud.

Tione was round and quiet.

Tiona had short, brown hair that was cropped above her shoulders unevenly.

Tione had long brown hair that draped down her back.

It just didn't make any sense!

Their personalities were different, their appearances were different. Twins were supposed to be alike.

It certainly didn't help that Tiona was a half-dwarf and Tione was either part minotaur or like a really freaky member of the Cows people. Her money was on the minotaur, given the whole fur and everything, but that was just her. Tione shaved, sure, but no regular demi-human grew hair that fast. It had to be fur.

What had Gareth call her? Ze.. zen? Zenith? No.. the ending was different.. rhymed with.. toes?

Doesn't matter!

What does matter is the fact that her prey escaped her, again.

"Mwoouf! How does it nyalways get away!"

"Better luck next time, Aiz!"

Aiz merely huffed before returning to the side of the broad-shouldered human, her cheeks permanently puffed out in a pout as she sulked.

"More prey get away from ya', 'lass?"

She could only nod, not trusting her voice to stay even. One prey getting away was already disappointing, seeing her nemesis (no wait, that's water, the mysterious light prey was more of a rival) just made things worse. At the very least she got to pounce on that big mean minotaur before it hurt that cute boy.

She couldn't let him get hurt, he had pretty eyes, and that would be unforgivable.

It wasn't even an hour later by the time she and the rest of her party emerged from the dungeon and left Babel behind. The creepy red-haired lady was waiting outside for them (of course) and had already tried to cop a feel, but Gareth was kind enough to toss her onto the roof of a nearby building before continuing on.

It would probably take her a while to get down from there.

Aiz was happy to be home. The dungeon was cold and muggy and just was horrible for her fur. She didn't like it.

It was better than swimming, that was sure, but she still didn't like it.

It was only made worse by the fact that she would be forced to take a bath instead of grooming herself (like any good kitten would). Stupid Riveria and her stupid 'no smelling in my house' rules. Dumb.

What's even worse than that was the stupid guard dog.

There was a long list of reasons as to why Aiz didn't like said guard dog, but she would narrow them down to a few key points.

One; he was a stupid, smelly, no-good, shit in the lawn and somebody else clean it up (ever heard of a litter box you idiot) dog.

If that wasn't enough, then she would keep going.

Two; Riveria blessed him. How was the even possible! A dog with a blessing? Ridiculous! Aiz would like a word with upper management in Tenkai for allowing that shit to happen. Even big Aiz in her head was in agreement! Neither of them thought it was a good idea, and if they could agree on that then it should never have been made possible.

Dogs should not get falnas. Ever.

What's worse than a guard dog growling at you? A level five guard dog growling at you. How did it even get to level five!?

Stupid!

A low rumble erupted from the other side of the wall to their familia's home, the Sindarin Manor, and wasn't that just perfect. Because on top of being a bad dog who had no sense of loyalty to the poor cat girl who helped take care of it, it also had a killer sense of smell and of course it was going to growl before she even made it inside!

She hated that dog.

"Nyaa! If somebody doesn't grab that mangy mutt before I walk inside, I'm punting it!"

Tiona immediately shoved her aside as she rushed past in her hurry to save her favorite pet.

"No! Bete, I'll protect you!"

Aiz gave it fifteen seconds where she counted in her head with her eyes closed in a vain attempt to not extend her claws. It didn't work. Eventually, the growling gave way to fearful whimpers before a resigned yowl escaped the confines of the walls when Tiona finally collected the mutt.

A pair of golden eyes peeked around the corner of the gates to see the stupid Pomeranian safely in Tiona's arms. Wasting no time, Aiz rushed past her and the waiting Lefiya.

"Aiz! Hold on! Let me brush you!"

"No!"

Over her dead body would she let that happen. She could brush herself damnit.

…

Bell slumped down onto the couch in the basement of the abandoned church, not even greeting his goddess before slamming face-first into the cushions. She'd get over it.

Maybe.

"Bell-kun! What happened!?"

Maybe not.

He tilted his head ever-so-slightly to the side and gave the woman a tired glare.

"I am fine, Mikoto-sama. I just– "

A groan erupted from his throat as he shut his eyes and pushing himself upright. Rubellite irises gleamed as he looked at her once again, rapidly shifting to emeralds as he slipped the magic ring off his finger and held it up between them.

"Got attacked in the dungeon, a girl saved me, but my ring slipped off."

".. "

".. "

"Well, that's what you get for banning me from the bathhouse."

As if that was his fault! They needed to eat and the gods-only bathhouse cost a fortune! Why was it so big anyway? There weren't even all that many gods or goddesses in Orario! Ridiculous!

Bell understood the purpose (and glory) of a good bath. He was raised in the Alf Royal Forest for the first fifteen years of his life, after all.

He just also understood the importance of eating.

Maybe it was just him and his lack of experience with women that made him so callus on the issue, but really? Like, really? Maybe, maybe he would have been more forgiving if he had a female presence in his life, but he doubted it.

He could blame his bastard of a father for that.

It's not his fault the man kept him away from every female in the kingdom besides the woman he presented as his potential brides. They were, of course, less than appealing people. Almost everybody in that forest were.

The undines in the rivers were mostly okay, but that was about it and even that was pushing it.

He thought of Mikoto-sama as a sister, which was something he sorely missed. He'd never had one, at least not while he's been alive.

Larfal hadn't spoken much of his elder sister, nor of her mother, but Bell had heard rumors of the fate of the late queen. It was why he ran away.

No way he was sticking around a man who had his wife killed because of a stillborn. Not a chance in hell.

Apparently, his sister was going to be named after the goddess of rivers, Riveria (and who the hell thought of that shit?) before her untimely death.

He would have liked to meet her. She probably would have been the first good person to be born within that wooden prison in a thousand years.

"You know– "

Oh. Right. He was in the middle of a conversation.

" –you shouldn't just zone out on a lady like that."

Bell couldn't help but roll his eyes as he brought his long, green hair into a loose bun.

"You, Mikoto-sama, are hardly a lady. I was raised amongst lords and ladies, I can confidently say, none of them have ever shoved that much food in their mouth at once."

The black-haired woman glanced down toward where the crumbs of her jagamarukun were billowing out of her mouth.

"Thowwy."

Bell could only sigh as she tried to speak but only really managed to send more partially chewed over the table. What a goddess he had. He wouldn't have it any other way.

(It certainly helped that nobody would be searching for the prince in the white-haired, red-eyed boy living in an abandoned church with a dirt-poor goddess who never learned to eat).

"Have you considered getting a job with better pay, Mikoto-sama?"

She shook her head as she swallowed, "no.. "

Naturally.

"Why not?"

"You know why not!"

"It's not a very good reason."

The goddess scoffed at the notion, folding her arms haughtily over her chest, "I need to get closer to him if I am to get him to fall for me."

"Lady Mikoto, I regret to inform you that Lord Miach is gay."

"That's just because he hasn't met me yet."

"He's known you since the dawn of time," was all Bell could flatly reply. Honestly, did she think she was going to somehow get him to fall for her just by working the same dead-end job? Even if Miach-sama was attracted to women (which was a big if - he'd met the man's husband), how was that her game plan? They didn't even work together; it was entirely separate companies! Did she think she would win him over by working in the same field?

"Besides, I've seen you with a katana, you could make a fair deal of money doing combat lessons."

"And to what end? There is more to life than money, Bell-kun."

"Baths, for one– "

When all else fails, appeal to the only things she actually cares about. Baths and Miach.

" –Miach for another."

Her head whipped over to face him in an instant, obsidian eyes wide with interest before her hair cut up to her and whipped across her face. She sputtered for a moment and clawed the separate strands from her mouth before answering, "what do you mean by that?"

Good. He has her attention.

Bell gave a helpless shrug as he began preparing his own dinner. Cereal. Yum. He hadn't even wanted to eat it, but it was free (thanks Demeter) so it was better to not let it go to waste.

"All I am saying is people are more interesting to talk to when they're excited or passionate about something. You are not going to get that from your potato stand experience. Truthfully, oneechan, you only care for three things in the world. Baths, which would only come across as creepy if you brought that up. Miach, which would be even worse. And swordsmanship."

".. that's not true."

The young high elf raised an eyebrow at that, but said nothing, simply giving her the chance to elaborate.

".. I care about you.. "

Oh.

That's cute.

Bell smiled at her as he plopped back down on the couch, across from where she was kneeling on the ground on her pillow. He knew she cared for him like a brother, but it was nice to have the confirmation every once and a while.

The two fell into a comfortable silence after that, simply content to eat their carbohydrate-heavy dinners in companionable quiet.

That is until Bell broke it.

"Wait, if you like Miach so much, why do you keep meeting that girl in the red light district?"

Mikoto, at the very least, seemed taken aback by his question. Both not expecting him to have known about her late-night activities and appalled by what he was insinuating.

"Wha– Bell-kun! I am not– gah! How could you say such a thing?"

He blinked in confusion, "what? She's pretty! You should totally go for it!"

"You're fifteen!"

"I'm not the one boning her every other night."

"Neither am I."

Bell was fairly certain that wasn't true, then again, her face was really red and–

"Oh my god! Are you spending our money to just talk to somebody!?"

".. well.. "

Bell immediately stormed out, not wanting to hear whatever excuse she had for hiring a beautiful prostitute to talk to night after night. He was eating free cereal for kami's sake! Free. Cereal. He hadn't thought to ban her from the red-light district because he figured at least she could have that. She could shower at home, so the bath wasn't necessary, but really? Really?

In hindsight, he probably should have been paying more attention to what he was doing, because–

".. my lord?"

Shit.

Bell turned to look over his shoulder at the elderly elfess standing, wide-eyed at the door to what he could only assume was her store that was locking up.

On the bright side, she may not know he ran away from his father and could just think he was traveling.

"My lord! It is you! I heard you went missing! I will send word to your father immediately! Do you need any help? I would be happy to– "

Shitfuck!

Bell ran away without preamble, yelling out a formal (but rushed) farewell before darting down an alleyway.

That was going to complicate things. Pretty soon every elf in the city would know he was there and under no circumstance was he planning on going back to his murderer of a father.

It was okay, he could fix this. Sure, he was the sole member of his admittedly poor familia and had very little protection. Larfal probably wouldn't even need to send anybody if the church collapsed on him first. But that was the beauty of it, nobody would be looking for him there!

Hopefully.

He just needed to make sure he didn't act the part of a royal elf.

He already had the disguise part down, so he just needed to work on how he acts and dresses.

Unfortunately, that means no more blacks. Fortunately, that means he can finally try out grey like he always wanted to. Unfortunately, he was flat broke. Fortunately, if he convinces a certain prostitute to meet his goddess outside of working hours, he can save a lot of money (and hopefully earn more when the two finally hook up and Mikoto moves on from Miach).

That just leaves his personality and behavior to fix.

He liked to think he was better than most of the elves he knew in his homeland, but he was still pretty particular about touching. It was a byproduct of his mother not being present at all (his father practically strong-arming some other Lord to let the man's wife bear him a child – which the man was thankful for? Elves were weird).

It certainly didn't make for a good combination when he was.. what did Lady Mikoto call it? Touch-starved? That sounded right. He was a touch-starved, yet touch-averse person.

A beautiful symphony of psychological issues all shoved into the brain of one poor, on the run, high elf child.

Yep. His father was the worst.

Either way, he had his plan in place. He was going to find a prostitute and then get all touchy-feely to throw people off.

Shit. That sounds bad!

Those two steps were entirely separate and not related by any means. He was going to find a prostitute to hook his goddess up with so she can stop being a sad sack of poverty and carbs and then he was going to force himself to be more physically receptive of people.

His goddess was already asleep by the time he slipped back into the church to collect his ring. He wasn't sure what she was dreaming about but judging from the fact that her face wasn't any less nuclear from when he left, he had a good guess.

It was either this mysterious 'Haruhime' girl (who Mikoto most definitely wasn't in love with) or it was Miach.

Then again, he'd seen her face before she went to the bathhouse, so nothing was conclusive.

He slipped back out again to talk with a prostitute and play wingman for his sister. All in the name of his familia.

What a life he's come to live.

He wouldn't have it any other way.

…

It was almost a full day later by the time Bell had gotten any rest. He'd been dragged into the city-wide search for the missing prince as soon as another elf spotted him and explained the situation. Not wanting to appear suspicious or like a traitor to his people, he joined in on the hunt. Needless to say, it was weird to try to find himself, but also really funny. At different points in time, he'd just point at some random green-haired person and shout 'there!' and watch dozens of elves swarm the area.

Even better, one of the richer elven elders of the city had apparently organized a lunch tent in the plaza around Babel for the searchers to come and restore the energy. Bell was never one to turn down free food so he was more than happy to nab a few sandwiches.

Whoever said elves were stuck-up assholes? Well, okay. Bell has said that (and probably would again), but they did make damn good sandwiches. It had been a while since he last had authentic elven cuisine, and it did not disappoint.

Sadly, all good things must end, which is how Bell found himself sitting at the bar of a certain pub, listening in on the conversations around the dining room.

Luckily, their food looked delicious.

Unluckily, the grey-haired waitress who pulled him aside in the morning while he was searching did not think it was important information to mention the owner was an elf as well. He can't blame her, it would have been a super weird thing to bring up randomly, but still! It would have been nice to know.

"You know," she drawled out slowly as she slid a plate over, "if you were hoping to go unnoticed, you could find a better disguise."

".. "

".. "

".. "

".. "

Wait, what?

Bell froze with a piece of chicken hovering idly just outside of his mouth as the tall elfess smiled down at him. With her hand that was sat just behind the bar, she gestured with a single finger up toward her own pointed ears.

Two rubellite eyes flickered to the left and then to the right as what she was trying to say finally sunk in.

I can't believe I forgot abou–

"You would look good with your hair down if I do say so."

The prince nodded slowly before pulling the ribbon from where it wrapped around his low bun and unraveled it. The same hand reached back and ran through his long, white hair idly, unknotting the silky locks and fluffing it up. Then, he parted it down the center of his scalp and allowed the hair to flow down the sides of his head to his shoulders, covering his longer than typical ears.

Mia only smiled before winking and pulling away from the counter.

He'd be lying if he didn't notice the way she sauntered away slightly more playfully than necessary, with an extra sway to her hips, but he couldn't find it in himself to care. She had helped him and even if she was trying to seduce him it wasn't that bad. So long as she didn't go to absurd lengths like his suitors back home would he'd be fine.

Bell couldn't deny that she wasn't beautiful. Elves aged phenomenally well and even if she was probably in her.. fifties? (he really couldn't tell) she still looked amazing. Slender, lithe, strong. He doubted she would have kept her beauty quite as well if she were any other race, even with the benefits of the falna.

He couldn't really say he was looking for a relationship at the moment though. He had a lot of life left to live and he really didn't need any of that at the moment.

He'd prefer to live vicariously through his goddess anyway.

Wasn't that usually the opposite? The older living through the younger? Whatever, doesn't matter.

The white-haired verdette took a few more bites of food before a shout rang out from the entrance of the restaurant.

"The party is here!"

Eh?

Bell couldn't say he liked parties. There was far too much posturing and pandering for his taste. He couldn't really understand why somebody would through a party here of all places. All of the parties the young prince had been to were held in a ballroom or out in a nice clearing under the moon.

Not in a pub.

How.. odd.

He glanced over to the doors to see a waitress leading a bunch of (what looked to be) adventurers through the doors. A green-haired goddess was the first to enter, followed by a band of– HOLY SHIT! Is that a minotaur!?

He probably wouldn't have seen the resemblance if he hadn't been staring one down the morning before, but that girl was an honest to the gods minotaur! And a really, really cute one. Why was she so cute? Was that a weird thing to think? Did it make him a monster fetishist if he thought that? Even if it did he couldn't find it in himself to regret it because wow she was pretty and–

"Nyaa!"

Oh no.

"It's you! Pretty boy!"

Oh, please no.

Slowly, much like a broken cog, Bell panned over to see two golden eyes boring into him from far too close.

"Nyou look different but you smell the same and the nose knows! Nyaa! Why do you look different?"

".. Uhh.. I.. decided to try something new?"

"Hmm.. I liked you more before. More 'husbando' material, y'knyow?"

He didn't.

Aiz shrugged despite his clear confusion and pressed on, grabbing his wrist, and pulling him up from his stool before dragging him toward where the apparent party was happening. Her golden tail curled around his waist causing him to look down and realize just how underdressed he was for a gala. He couldn't possibly show up like this! It would be a travesty!

It didn't even occur to him that he hadn't fought her contact in the slightest as he was pulled along, too caught up in his mind as he tried to come up with an excuse for his poor presentation.

Wait! A not-prince wouldn't show up dressed nice, he'd show up just like this! This is perfect!

He was shoved roughly down into a chair before his savior plopped down.

In his lap.

This is fine.

This isn't fine!

Bell searched the table, wide-eyed, for any amount of assistance with the catty cat girl currently shifting around to get more comfortable, but nobody seemed keen on helping. The minotaur girl pointedly looked away when he met her eyes, and he couldn't help but decide from that moment on her people were going to be his enemy. First the one on the fifth floor, now this betrayal. Never again.

Unfortunately, it looked like Bell was going to be on his own for this situation. It wasn't the end of the world, he'd been on his own most of his life, he could get himself out of this.

He blinked up at the girl through his disguised eye and– holy crap, is she purring?

She was.

It was unfairly cute.

Her eyes were closed, and her ears fidgeted about atop her head in a way that even with minimal knowledge of cats Bell knew she was happy. Her head was swaying back and forth as her arms stayed firmly locked around his neck and anything he wanted to say died in his throat.

This was fine.

So what if he lost all desire to free himself of this catgirl? That didn't say anything about him as a person.

His earlier words about not being ready for a relationship? He was just kidding!

When he said he was slightly touch-averse? That was merely a joke! A jest!

Lady Mikoto's suggestion that he may be ever-so-slightly touch-starved? Right on the money.

This was nice.

He may have lost the battle, but he can't help but feel like he won the war, besides he'd always loved those stories where the hero saved the damsel and she fell in love with him. He had absolutely no problem being the damsel in this situation if it meant more cat cuddles.

One of his hands went up and rubbed down around the base of the girl's ears. She practically melted into him at the contact, her chest vibrating as she purred for even longer.

He should probably learn her name at some point, but that could be held off for later.

He really wished he had asked Rose about her when he went into the Pantheon yesterday, but he was already exhausted from the whole ordeal and just finished showering in Babel that he just couldn't be bothered. He wanted nothing more than to go home.

Would it have helped? Probably, but she didn't know his name either so it would all work out. He could just keep calling her 'cat girl' and she can call him 'pretty boy.'

For now.

".. "

".. "

Holy shit. I didn't even use a fake name when I got to this city, did I?

He was the absolute worst at being on the run.

Fin.