Title: Turn Back the Clocks

Summary: A post-Paraguay story. Mac is forced into counseling, and comes to terms with Paraguay, Harm, and her life in general.

Notes: The end is a little sexy...

Part Twenty-Three - Harm

I kiss my way down her throat and nip at her collarbone. Her skin is absolutely perfect – soft and smooth, and smells incredible – like citrus and jasmine. She groans and I can't help but grin as I flick open one of the buttons on her blouse. And then the next. And then it's my turn to groan. Her bra is flesh colored with delicate floral embroidery, and completely see though. One of the embroidered flowers overs one of her nipples, and I run my finger over the silk threads. "Come on, Mac… I promise this will be more fun." I move my hand to the strap and push it down her shoulder.

"Harm, we can't," she says, and pushes my hand away. I move to kiss her again, and she take a step back and starts to rebutton her blouse. "We're meeting Sophie for dinner in about twenty minutes."

I bite back a groan, but based on her raised eyebrow, I know she knows what I'm thinking. I don't want to go. There are no words as to how much I don't want to go. There are at least 483 things I would rather do tonight than go on a double date with Sophie and the man she's recently started seeing.

And it's not that I have an issue with double dates, or even that I want Mac all to myself (even though I kind of do). The problem is that I'm convinced Sophie doesn't like me. And this probably makes me sound arrogant, but I'm not used to women not liking me. I honestly can't remember the last time I was unable to charm a woman with a few smiles. Sophie was kind enough to me that morning I ran into her at her coffee shop, and the first time we met I think her curiosity overpowered her skepticism. But now it's been a few months since I came home and told Mac how I felt, and I've listened to Mac's end of their conversations enough to know they talk about practically everything. And naturally it makes me wonder how much she's told her about me – about us.

"Harm?"

I jerk and blush when I realize she's watching me, and it's been a few minutes since I've said anything. "Sorry," I say sheepishly.

"Why don't you want to go?"

Her voice is soft, and I feel guilty for my reluctance. Once upon a time I'm pretty sure Mac would have cancelled if I asked. But I don't think she would now. I think she feels guilty about dragging me someplace I really don't want to go, but I think she feels like I need to suck it up. Like she said when she asked – I'm important to her, and Sophie is important to her, and she wants all of us to at least be able to have the occasional dinner together.

"It's not that I don't want to go," I begin, but she cuts me off.

"Harm. Why don't you want to go to dinner with Sophie?"

I sigh and pick at a loose thread on my cuff. "She's protective of you Mac. And I don't think she likes me very much."

Mac shrugs and covers my hand with hers. "She doesn't dislike you. She just doesn't know you." She gives my hand a gentle squeeze and smiles hopefully. "And that's what tonight is all about."

We end up at a restaurant in Alexandria, and the nicest way to describe it would be intimate. It is quite possibly the smallest restaurant I've ever been in, with a whopping five tables inside, and each one is uncomfortably close to the table next to it. When Mac had told me that Sophie had been trying to get a reservation here for ages, I assumed it was some new hot spot with a celebrity chef. But after stepping inside, I'm assuming it was difficult to get a table because this space is literally smaller than my own dining area at home.

A familiar blonde at arguably the best table in the place – the table placed next to a massive window – lifts her hand in greeting, and I feel Mac grab my hand and tug me in that direction.

Even though I don't want to be here, it is interesting to observe Mac with her friend. She seems so… normal. Not to say she is abnormal, but knowing what I know about her childhood, seeing her in an uncomplicated, seemingly ordinary friendship makes me happy. I like watching both of them exclaim over some part of the others outfit, and then hug as if it's been months since they've seen each other, and not less than a week. Sophie grabs the hand of the sandy haired man who stood when she did, and introduces him to Mac. My jaw tightens slightly as he gives her the once over, but I relax when his eyes settle on her face and he smiles warmly before extending his hand.

"Harm." My own name startles me out of my thoughts, and I notice her hand reaching behind her. She's reaching for me. I step forward and drape one arm over her shoulders. She looks up at me and beams, and my heart beats a little bit faster. God, I love it when she looks at me like that – like she loves me. Like she's proud to be here with me. I give her shoulders a little squeeze and she turns her attention back to her friend. "I know you and Harm have kind of met. But, Sophie, this is Harm." She nods at me, and offers a tight smile.

"And this is Patrick." Sophie gestures to her date and then back at me. "Patrick, Harm. Harm, Patrick."

He extends his hand and we shake, and then we're all awkwardly standing by the table in this too small restaurant. I feel the eyes of the other diners on us, and I look to our seats. "Should we sit?" Everyone nods, and I feel Sophie's eyes on me as I pull out a chair for Mac, and then one for myself.

Our waiter comes by not long after we've all sat with a basket of assorted bread that honestly smells like heaven. I can't help but glance at Mac and grin as she watches him sit the basket of warm carbs in the middle of the table. She almost reminds me of a cartoon character with literal hearts in her eyes.

"You might want to bring out another one of those."

I look up in surprise, and can't help but smile at Sophie. I was about to say something along those lines myself. She offers me a tentative smile, and then reaches for a slice of pumpernickel.

Dinner has been more enjoyable than I expected. I understand why Mac enjoys spending time with Sophie. She really is enjoyable to be around, and she makes Mac laugh. If for no other reason, I like her because of that. Mac's laughter is a wonderful sound, and one I can't get enough of. She laughs easily these days, which I love. I think back to the heartache and drama of the past few years, and how infrequently either of us actually laughed. I watch her sip her water, and I can't help think but how different she is than the woman I came to Paraguay for. I love that woman – Lieutenant Colonel Sarah Mackenzie. But I don't think love is a strong enough word for what I feel for this new version. This version that everyone calls Sarah except for me. This woman who wears bright colors, and curls her longer hair, and laughs all the time.

"You're staring."

Her voice brings me back to this tiny restaurant and this crowded table, and I smile. "Yeah."

"Why?"

"Why not?" I pick up her hand and place a gentle kiss on her knuckles and she blushes. My smile widens and I give her hand a squeeze before releasing it. And then at almost the exact same moment, two cell phones begin to ring. Patrick reaches into his coat pocket and pulls out a small phone, and Mac reaches into her handbag and pulls out hers. She frowns and studies the screen before looking up at me.

"It's a client. I need to take this."

I nod and watches as she hurries outside, Patrick following closely behind her.

Sophie watches them leave and looks at me. "If this were a soap opera, they'd probably be involved in some kind of torrid affair, and those phone calls would be a way for them to sneak off together."

I shrug, unsure how to respond. I know she's joking, but I can't find the thought of Mac and another man even remotely funny. And her having an affair just feels wrong to joke about, especially considering how a simple kiss with Webb when we weren't even together fucked everything up.

"Mac isn't the type."

"I know that." She leans back in her chair and watches me for a moment. "Do you?"

"Of course, I do," I say. I frown at her and watch her pick up her water. "What's that supposed to mean?" She shrugs, and I shake my head. "Don't do that. You've obviously got something to say, so say it."

Sophie leans forward. "I know about her ex-fiancé and the kiss the two of you had at the night of her engagement party."

I flinch at the memory of the kiss. It was a good kiss, and up until a few months ago it was probably the best kiss of my life. But it was wrong, and we both knew it was wrong. "What does that have to do with anything?"

She shrugs again. "She cheated on him with you. Do you ever worry she'll cheat on you with someone else?"

My jaw clenches, and I feel defensive. "I thought you were supposed to be her friend. That's a pretty shitty thing to say."

"I am her friend."

I nod and cross my arms over my chest. "You're testing me."

She raises an eyebrow. "Am I?"

"You are." I pluck an olive off of my plate and chew it carefully. "You're trying to find out if I trust her."

She runs a hand through her hair and tucks a piece behind her ear. "Do you?"

"I do." She continues to stare at me and then lets out a sigh. I feel like I've passed her ridiculous test and it's my turn to lean forward. "Now I have a question for you."

"Shoot."

"Do you want to be more than her friend?"

Sophie's eyes go comically wide and she barks out a laugh. "Are you asking me if I'm gay?" I shrug and she smiles. "I'm straight. But if I weren't, I would absolutely give you a run for your money with her. She's an incredible woman."

We both sober with those words and I nod solemnly. "You have no idea."

"I think I do."

I shake my head and think about everything we've been through over the years. I glance over my shoulder and spot Mac leaning against a light post, her phone pressed against her ear. I watch her for a moment before I turn my attention back to Sophie. "No. You really have no idea."

"You really love her, don't you?"

I let out a breath. "Yeah, I really do."

She smiles at me and lifts her glass. I lift mine and we clink them together. "I'd like for us to be friends, Harm."

I nod and take a sip of my drink. "I'd like that too."

I pull my SUV into a spot a few houses down from hers and put the car into park. I don't turn off the ignition, and she gives me a curious look.

"Don't you want to come in?"

I think about the sexy underwear I know is underneath her conservative outfit, and the way her neck tasted earlier this evening. Of course, I want to come in. I want to follow her upstairs and I never want to leave. I turn the car off and turn in my seat to look at her. "I do."

She raises an eyebrow and puts a hand on the door handle. "Okay…." I don't move to open the door and she drops her hand. "So, why are we still sitting here?"

"Do you regret the night of your engagement party?"

The words are out before I can call them back, and the look on her face makes me instantly wish I had thought before just blurting them out.

"Mac, I'm sorry-"

She shakes her head and cuts me off. "No, it's okay." Her hands are folded in her lap and she looks down at them. "I do regret that night," she finally says, "but not for the reason you're thinking."

I swallow. I'm honestly not sure what I'm thinking. "Why?"

She takes a deep breath and meets my gaze. "I don't regret it because we were both committed to other people. I should, and I felt guilty that I wasn't more bothered by that. But I regretted it because I worried that I would spend the rest of my life thinking about that kiss, and what could have been."

"I thought about it all the time," I said quietly. "For the rest of our relationship, I thought of you every time I was with Renee." Her smile is sad, and I frown. "What?"

"I was never with Mic again." My eyes widen and she shrugs. "That night I told him I was tired, and then I told him that I wanted to abstain until the wedding night to make it more special."

"He was okay with that?" I have a hard time picturing him being okay with having to wait.

"I didn't give him a choice." She smiles at me, and I feel some of the tension dissipate. "The truth is…" Even though it's dark I can tell she's blushing, and I reach over and place a hand on her cheek. "The truth is," she starts again, "is that I have spent years fantasizing about you. But never when I was with someone else. I never wanted to taint those fantasies. Being with Mic after that kiss would have been impossible. The thought of it made the thought of my wedding night almost unbearable."

My thumb moves over her cheekbone, and she presses her face into my hand. "Do you still fantasize about me?"

She smiles and turns her head to place a kiss in my palm. "Constantly."

"Oh yeah?"

She raises an eyebrow and unbuckles the seatbelt. My eyes widen as she climbs over the console and settles on my lap. I slide my seat back to make it a little more comfortable for her, and then my hands slide under her skirt.

"This was my fantasy for weeks after the engagement party." Her voice is low and husky, and I'm embarrassed by how hard I already am. She leans back and moves her hand to the button on my jeans, popping it open. "I would leave the party in a hurry, and you would come after me." She unzips the zipper, and her hand reaches inside my boxers. "And you'd get in my car, and tell me if I wanted to leave, you'd have to bring me with you because we needed to talk about what had happened." Her hand wraps around me and my eyes instinctively close as she begins to stroke.

"Why are we still in the car?"

She grins and shrugs. "It's a fantasy, Harm."

"Baby, we're going to give your neighbors a show."

"Baby?" Her hand stops stroking and she grins slyly.

I blush and tease the edge of her panties with my thumb. "It felt right. Did you hate it?"

"I kind of liked it."

Mac shakes her head and lowers her head to my neck. Her lips barely brush my skin, and she whispers for me to say it again. Her hand tightens around me, and I moan. "We need to go inside."

She looks down and bites her lower lip. "Will you make it inside?"

"If you stop doing that."

She grins and carefully zips my jeans up and opens the door. She gracefully climbs off my lap and smooths down her skirt. "Come on," she said, extending a hand.

I climb out of the car and we hurry up the path to her house. She unlocks the door, and once I close it behind us, I spin her around and press her into it. I lift her skirt and tug off her panties. She steps out of them and kicks them away and then her hand is wrapped around me again.

"I'm not going to last long if you keep doing that," I whisper into her neck.

She shrugs, a wicked smile lighting up her perfect face. "That's fine. We have all night."

End Part 23