"Last time, on Total Drama: Pahkitew Island…
"We welcomed 14 brand new teens to our brand new location: a brand new island to replace the old one we lost!" The scene showed several of the contestants talking with one another aboard the zeppelin - Dave and Leonard; Jasmine and Sammy; and Topher, Sugar and Scarlett - before showing a shot of the entirety of Pahkitew Island. "We gave them the standard introduction of blowing up their ride-" A shot of one of the zeppelin's engines blowing up, followed by the cast plummeting through the open air, "-and gave them the fall of their life!
"Their craftsmanship skills were put to the test in a truly engaging statue-building contest, using what crud and junk they could scavenge in a scrapyard." Clips from the first part of the challenge were shown, including the tug-of-war between Sky and Ella, and Jasmine and Topher, plus Topher 'borrowing' Leonard's shield. "And let me tell you - what they came up with was total crud and junk!" Quick shots of Maskwak's bear and Kinosewak's salmon were shown, looking as horrendous as ever.
"But of course, there could only be one winner, and that was Team Kinosewak, which meant Maskwak were the season's first losers, and Sugar had the honor of earning the most votes!" Sugar was shown yelling at Sky at the ceremony, and then shown about to tackle Ella before being held back by Sky and Dave. "But before anyone could leave in shame, we introduced a brand new rule: the non-elimination ceremony, where not every elimination ceremony will have an elimination." Reaction shots from the cast at this news were played. "Which meant Sugar lived to see - and definitely ruin - another day."
The clips ended there, and Chris was shown standing in front of a forest background. "We're into day two here, folks, and with our next challenge, the campers are sure to have the swine of their lives!" He chuckled loudly at his joke, causing Chef Hatchet, who was standing next to him but hidden by the camera being zoomed in on the host's face, to harrumph in annoyance.
Chris ignored this. "Who will get ahead of the pack, and who will slip up in the grease of life? Find out this and more, on Total… Drama… Paaahkitew Island!"
(Cue Opening Theme!)
Upon various backgrounds and scenery, several different shots show lights and cameras appearing out of diverse locations, such as from behind rock formations and from within mechanical openings within trees. One shot that shows a camera popping out from underneath a lily pad also has a bear in a scuba mask eyeing it warily.
"Dear Mom and Dad, I'm doing fine,"
After a clapperboard transition changes the scene from a camera coming out of a panel on a tree to one of the island, the shot flies in from the ocean and past Chris McLean as he enters a hidden entrance on the side of a large boulder, at which point he looks behind himself suspiciously.
"You guys are on my mind,"
The shot flies through several trees and up one of Pahkitew Island's many jutting mountains. A brief shot of Topher in his swimsuit running towards the edge of the mountain was shown, and the camera leaps off the cliff and into the water below as if being played from his perspective.
"You asked me what I wanted to be,"
Topher swims up to the camera and winks at it, then follows it as it breaches the surface, and he continues to make a marketable expression at it. A seagull attempts to peck at Topher's hair, but he screams and desperately shoos it away, causing it to fly back up the mountain and down into the forest.
"And I think the answer is plain to see,"
The bird dives into Beardo's hair, who doesn't even notice it happening. He forms a finger gun in his hand and holds it up, and puts another hand over his mouth.
"I wanna be famous!"
The camera zooms out to show Sky in a starter's position in front of him, and as Beardo mimics the sound and motion of a gunshot the athlete takes off at top speed to the left. As she runs, she zips past Dave, who attempts to wave her down but ends up spinning out like a top when Sky brushes past him.
"I wanna live close to the sun,"
A quick transition to a waterfall shows Scarlett and Max sitting in a rowboat, the former nose-deep in her book while the other gabs her ear off. Neither of them see the waterfall approaching, and they and their boat fall down in a scream.
"Go pack your bags, 'cuz I've already won,"
On a log at the base of the waterfall was Ella, rocking out on an air guitar as if to the theme song itself. Scarlett, Max and their rowboat fall into the water behind her, and just as Ella jumps up and plays a rather large note, the splash from behind bursts out behind her as if it were a special effect on a concert stage.
"Everything to prove, nothing in my way,"
Nearby and standing next to the confessional outhouse, Sammy applauds and cheers Ella on, while Amy exits the outhouse and looks at her sister in confusion. Amy adopts a knowing smile, while Sammy simply laughs in embarrassment.
"I'll get there one day,"
A transition into the Main Lodge shows Chef Hatchet hurriedly scooping bowls into his large vat of soup, handing them off to his right, and continuing as such. He glares off to his right, and the camera follows it to show Sugar greedily devouring bowl after bowl of the stuff, with several other dishes piled high around her.
"'Cuz I wanna be famous!"
Sitting next to her, Leonard dramatically and animatedly retells the story of one of his tabletop sessions, while Shawn just barely listens. The movie nut yawns loudly, and promptly smacks his head into the table as he falls asleep. Leonard stops talking and flinches at that happening.
"Na-na nanananaa, nana nana naa, nana nanana naa…"
A larger transition takes the scene from the lodge and all the way back out to the beach, where a soaking wet Scarlett and Max sit on a rock in agitation. Sky enters the scene at breakneck speed and skids to a stop in front of them, covering them from head to toe in sand. Though she celebrates breaking her record, Sky stops as she notices what she's done to the other two, who glare at her through the sand.
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"
Walking along the beach nearby is Topher, who now wears his normal clothing, and Amy, followed behind by Sammy and Ella. Topher talks to Amy who visibly blushes at him, while Sammy glares daggers into the back of his head. Ella throws an arm around Sammy and pulls her in close for a one-armed hug, which causes the younger twin to start blushing as well.
"I wanna be, I wanna be, I wanna be famous!"
At the edge of the beach, a large, rusty barrel is slammed onto the ground, and Jasmine and Rodney sit on either side of it and start an arm wrestling match. Both are equally strong and do not give the other any leeway, but the combined force of their arms on the barrel soon causes it to break apart. Both arm wrestlers bash their foreheads together and collapse onto the sand.
The final shot transitions from the sand cloud and parts of the barrel that pop up from Jasmine and Rodney falling down, bringing the scene to a night sky. Panning down, Sky and Dave are shown staring at each other in front of a campfire, both grinning and leaning in closer to one another. Just as it seems like they're about to kiss, Sugar pops up from behind them with a grin, startling the two. She grabs the two of them in a headlock with both her arms as her cheerful grin turns vicious. As this happens, the shot zooms out to show the remaining 11 campers also sitting around the campfire, taking no notice of Sugar choking out their campmates as they whistle the ending notes to the theme song, with Chris standing off to the left and Chef Hatchet standing to the right. The logo for Total Drama: Pahkitew Island hangs on a sign above, and a guitar riff denotes the end of the opening.
The sun was barely up over the horizon when activity began in the contestants' cabins. While several of these teens would rather spend all morning asleep and/or lazing about, a handful of them were also naturally early risers. Sugar and Rodney were examples, for instance, as they lived on farmsteads which naturally came to life as the sun rose. Jasmine as well, since burning daylight while out on the outbacks was just not her style.
Jasmine slid out of bed as quiet as a mouse - not a difficult thing for her to do, despite her taller-than-average size - but she was genuinely surprised to see that she wasn't the first up and about in her room. "Well look at that," she said quietly as she saw Amy crawling off the top bunk above her. "You're not someone I thought I'd be seeing at the crack of dawn."
"And you're not the first to say that," Amy said good-naturedly. She hopped onto the floor with her day clothes in hand. "I've always been the one to wake up early. Sam and our mom always need to have like, five alarms set to get them up on time."
Glancing up and seeing Sammy sprawled out on her bed, the sheets all over the place and one leg sticking out over the side, told Jasmine everything she needed to know. "I can clearly see that," she said in a laugh.
As was to be expected of them just waking up, Jasmine and Amy were currently in their nightwear. Jasmine sported a long black t-shirt that came past her hips, and a pair of white shorts that were hidden by the shirt. Her hair was still tied in its ponytail, but it was slightly undone and would need to be fixed. Conversely, Amy wore a short dark red tank top and a pair of black shorts, and had her hair done up in a small bun at the top of her head.
"It helps with cheerleading too," Amy continued. "Gives us more… uh, 'discipline' or something. I can't remember what my coach said."
"Oh, hold the phone. You're a cheerleader?" Jasmine asked, not bothering to hide the surprise in her voice.
"Yup," Amy said. "I mean, not like, head cheerleader or anything, but I've been on the team since I started high school. I'm one of the more… experienced members." She chuckled and examined her finely-filed nails with confidence. "Yeah, they'd be so lost without me…"
"I bet," Jasmine said, laughing as well. "I'll be honest, I didn't actually expect that of you."
-JASMINE-
"But in hindsight, it explains so much…"
-END-
"Heheh. I guess I'm just full of surprises," Amy said cheerfully.
The two of them made their way to the communal bathroom (which also got remade with every other building on the island), where they changed into their day clothes and freshened themselves up, and when they were done they returned to their cabin. Rodney was just outside his room, also dressed in his day clothes, and leaning against the railing with a frown on his face. He waved at the girls when they did so first, but his attention turned away from them quickly after.
It was obvious why, as he was watching a few members of the other team having an apparently important conversation. Sitting on the steps to Maskwak's cabin was Sky and Shawn, the latter looking like he was going to fall asleep at any moment. Sky was dressed for the day, while Shawn wore a sleeveless white shirt and a pair of boxer shorts, complete with hearts on them. And standing in front of them, looking surprisingly calm despite the circumstances, was Sugar.
"Look," the country girl was saying, also already dressed for the day. "All I'm askin' for is another chance. I… messed up yesterday. I was just lookin' to have a fun time here, and I wasn't… thinkin' about the team. But now that I know that that ain't what I should be doin', I'm gonna do my darndest to make us the best team to ever be on this show. So…" She looked between her two teammates and gave what appeared to be a shy, hopeful smile. "Are y'all able to forgive me?"
Sky and Shawn spent a moment looking at her, and then at each other, a silent conversation taking place between them.
-SKY-
"It's not that I don't believe her," Sky says, "it's just I don't know if I can trust her. She said she was all for the team yesterday morning, but then she goes off on her own and does things that hurt us, literally and figuratively. My gut's telling me that she's just saying it, and I know I should trust it, but… I don't know. Maybe we should at least give her another chance?"
-SHAWN-
"Yeah, I'm really not sold," Shawn says flatly, arms crossed. "You don't have an outburst like that and expect everyone to let bygones be bygones the next morning. If Sugar wants to avoid being targeted again next time we lose, she's got a lot of convincing us to do. Either that, or someone else would have to screw up even worse than she did. And fat chance of that happening."
-END-
"Well, if you really do want another chance, I don't see why not," Sky said slowly.
Sugar gasped happily. "You mean it?!"
Shawn groaned audibly before she could continue. "Okay, fine. We'll give you a second chance. But just so we're clear: you won't get a third. You give us any more reason why we should vote you off, and you better hope we lose on a non-elimination challenge again."
"Right-o!" Sugar said, an energetic and determined look appearing on her face. "I promise, I won't let any of you down!"
-SUGAR-
Contrary to the performance she just put on, Sugar begins her confessional looking livid and ready to knock someone out. "Those rotten, connivin' cow turds! Treatin' me like some rowdy pony… The star of the pageant doesn't get yelled out, she's the one who does all the yellin'! But if it wasn't for that stupid 'no gettin' kicked out' rule from last night, I wouldn't be in this position!" She stops for a brief moment. "I… also probably wouldn't be on the island no more, neither. Ugh!" She throws her head back and slams her fists down on the seat. "Because a' that, I showed my hand too early and now I actually gotta play nice for these dunderheads. I ain't got no choice in the matter! But I'll get them, I swear it! Sky, and Shawn, and…" Her face gets especially twisted, and she mimics strangling something. "...especially that schemin' Ella."
-END-
"Now that that's out of the way," Sugar says faux-cheerfully to the two others, "Imma go get my grub on. See you two later!" She walked away from them, though her smile falling the second she turned around was lost on them.
Sky and Shawn sit in silence for a moment. "You think that was a good idea?" Shawn asked her after a bit.
"Honestly? No," Sky answered. "But right now I don't know if we have a choice. She's sticking around regardless - we'll just have to see if she keeps her word."
"Hmm. We'll see, alright. The second she does anything funky, I'm voting for her."
"You're not alone on that."
At this, the three Salmons who had been watching approached the Bears' cabin. "Yikes," Amy said, hands on hips and watching Sugar retreat into the forest. "I really wouldn't want to be in your shoes right now."
-AMY-
"And no, it's not just because mine are much more fashionable than theirs'." She emphasizes this by raising one of her high-heels up and presenting it to the camera like a model would.
-END-
"You blokes gonna be alright?" Jasmine asked them. "She really ripped you lot a new one last night, didn't she?"
"Eh, nothing I'm not already used to," Shawn admitted, standing up from the steps. "My folks become way worse every time I stay up all night."
"Uh, speaking of…" Rodney said, and pointed at the bags under Shawn's eyes.
"Yeah, I know," said the movie nut, visibly stifling a yawn. "I was hoping to catch a few Zs before the challenge, but I got interrupted by that happening. I'm gonna go try that now."
He left without another word, carefully slipping into his room so as not to make too much noise.
"Your team's full of colorful characters, isn't it?" Jasmine asked Sky with a laugh.
"I mean, we can say the same about ours," Amy noted.
A yelp and a crash was heard from the Salmons' cabin, followed by the sound of weak groaning. "Augh… Who put the floor so far away…?" came the pained voice of Max.
"True… We all have our quirks, I guess," Jasmine said with an awkward laugh.
"Hey, sorry to suddenly change the subject," Sky said, looking up to the three of them, "but what do you guys think about that weird rule Chris came up with?"
"The non-elimination thing?" Jasmine replied. "Not gonna lie, it's kinda messed up."
"Yeah, it really is," Rodney added. "It'd be bad enough to get voted out by people you could trust… but then having to stay around and still be on the team? That's really uncool."
"Ditto," Amy said with a nod. "It'd be super awkward to deal with. If that happened to me, I'd honestly just quit."
"And give up on the million?" Rodney asked, surprised.
Amy simply shrugged. "Yeah, it's no big. I'd rather spare my pride than be humiliated like that."
At that point, the boys' room door opened again, and Dave came out with bleary eyes and his night clothes - a dark blue t-shirt and burgundy shorts - somewhat misaligned.
"Hey, morning," Sky said to him.
"Wow, you look like you didn't sleep at all," Amy said bluntly. Jasmine shot her a look. "What? It's true!"
"Sleeping in a bed that isn't mine makes me uncomfortable," Dave admitted. "Also, Beardo makes sound effects in his sleep."
"Sound effects?" Sky repeated.
"Yeah, that's apparently his thing." Dave rubbed at one eye as he spoke. "He was making game show noises at like, 3 a.m. And they were shockingly on point, too."
"Well I'll be," Jasmine said in thought. "You wouldn't happen to know if he can make… animal noises too, do you? Say for instance… a grizzly bear?"
Dave's tired eyes widened, and he looked away awkwardly. "Uh… couldn't tell you!"
-JASMINE-
"Yeah, that's all I needed to hear," Jasmine says to the confessional, a frown on her face. "Clever, I'll give 'em that, but we'll be wisened up to any out of place noises we hear during challenges from now on."
-END-
The speakers above them all crackled to life, and Chris's voice rang out across the camp. "Attention, sleepyheads! Get your rears in gear and get ready for brekky! Your challenge begins in 30 minutes, and anyone without food in their stomachs won't be having anything until lunch!"
"Ah crud," Amy moaned. "I gotta get my sister up." She started off for their cabin. "If I come back with bruises, don't be surprised."
"She did that to you before?" Sky asked her, concern written on her face.
"Eh, just once, and only by accident," Amy said, though she laughed it off. "I still like teasing her about it."
The rest of the campers rose wearily - some easier than others - but within 10 minutes everyone was in the main lodge enjoying another helping of Chef Hatchet's deliberately terrible cooking.
"Great," Max droned, sticking his fork in the brown lump in front of him. "And here I thought I left mystery meat behind in junior high."
"This is still meat at least, right?" Rodney asked. He had actually lifted his plate up to stare at it from eye level. "We should at least get some protein from it."
"Assuming it isn't spoiled," Scarlett said. As she had mentioned yesterday, she was having an incredibly difficult time eating the meal, taking small pieces off of it and very slowly chewing it.
"I miss last night's meal," Sammy moaned tiredly. Having little time between getting out of bed and going for breakfast, her hair was still a complete mess and her eyes were threatening to close and make her fall back to sleep.
"Me too," Amy agreed, not sporting any noticeable bruising. She nonchalantly elbowed Sammy roughly in the gut, causing her to grunt and forcing her to stay awake. "We like, have to win literally every challenge. My stomach won't be able to take this crap three times a day."
"What I'm wondering, is why we're having mystery meat for breakfast," Topher asked. Running a hand over his chin, he turned around and risked a chance. "Hey, Chef Hatchet, my man! Those waffles you made last night were to die for! Any chance you have any leftovers?"
He was answered by a frying pan flying out of the kitchen window and very nearly smacking him in the head.
"Whoa!" he cried, dodging at the last second. At the angle it was thrown at, Jasmine had to dodge as well, and the frying pan ended up embedded into the wall on the other side of the fireplace.
"Crikey!" Jasmine said in astonishment.
"Hey! Watch the face! It's my main selling point!" Topher shouted at the cook. He turned back to the others at his table, plus the opposing team, all of whom were looking at him in mild shock. "Ahh…" He cleared his throat. "In light of recent events, I have decided that mystery meat for breakfast isn't all that bad."
Everyone returned to their meals. While the mood at Kinosewak's table was somewhat solemn, it wasn't all that serious. At the same time, the air was practically drowning in tension over at Maskwak's table. No one was able to look anyone else in the eye, and no conversations were being had. Most of the team kept their eyes on their food, although Leonard was chancing glances at the others. When the only person who met his gaze was Ella, and even then only for a brief moment, the Dungeon Master adopted a somewhat vexed look.
-LEONARD-
"Well, we can't be having this," Leonard says to the camera. "We're all a part of the same team, and that means we have to work as a cohesive unit! You're not gonna get any adventuring done if your party members are always bickering! I have to try and at least say something to these guys!"
-END-
"Okay, so," Leonard started, earning him the attention of most of his team. He awkwardly coughed into his hand, buying him some time to sort out his thoughts. "I know things got a bit… heated last night."
"That's putting it mildly," Dave muttered, unheard by the rest.
"But, come on! Just because we lost yesterday doesn't mean we'll lose again today. We have a chance to turn this around. Besides, we're still a full-person team, and we have such a well-rounded skill set to boot! If we just work together a bit better than last time, I'm sure we'll see more positive results!"
He looked around at the group hopefully, gauging their reactions. Not everyone seemed to share his sentiments - Shawn continued to stare into his breakfast, while Sugar proceeded to give everyone else a neutral staredown. That said, there were those who were not as negative as the others, as Ella's smile returned to her as Leonard talked, and Beardo was nodding his head the whole while. Sky seemed happy that the mood was beginning to turn for the team, and Dave couldn't help but give his own supportive smirk as well.
"He's right," Sky pitched in. "We may have lost, but we shouldn't let that demoralize us. We're still just as capable as the other team, we just need to learn to work together more efficiently. And we have the perfect chance to do that during today's challenge. So let's get out of the dumps and focus on winning today! Okay?"
"Yes!" Ella cried out, actually standing up and cheering. "We're gonna win today no matter what!" As if only then realizing what she was doing, her hands flew to her mouth and she looked around at the others. "Um, I mean," she hastily sat back down and raised her fist in a more subdued manner. "Yay, go team…!"
-ELLA-
"What? I get worked up about exciting moments like that!" Ella defends in the confessional. "It's not a bad thing!"
-END-
Before breakfast concluded, Sammy, having managed to wake up just a little bit more, quickly left the lodge to fix her hair and freshen up in the bathroom. Once the others were done, they were directed by interns to the challenge area, and just like yesterday a few of them mused out loud on what the host had in store for them this time.
What they saw when they arrived was Chris standing in front of a giant flat-screen TV mounted on a stump, plus a rest area for himself and Chef Hatchet, all of which was located in front of a large river. The sound of a waterfall could be heard in the distance, and near where the contestants entered from was what looked like a starting line, as well as a weird set of logs situated over a dense bramble patch.
"Welcome, victims," Chris said to them all, "to the Oof-stacle Relay Race of Hilarious Hurts!"
"Uh, you mean obstacle, right?" Topher asked him.
"Nope! Today's challenge is all about the 'oof's and 'ow's that come with being put through the wringer! There'll be pain a-plenty, hence the name, Oof-stacle!"
"Wow," Beardo said quietly. "Wish I was confident enough to say all that with a straight face." Unexpectedly for him, the few people around him that heard - Dave, Ella, and Leonard - all chuckled at the quip, causing Beardo to smile.
"Before we get to the explanation, however," Chris said. "Kinosewak - you're down one clone."
All eyes were drawn to Amy, who glared in irritation. "Twins. And don't worry, Sam's on her way."
"Right, well, if she's not here in the next minute she's-"
"I'm here! Sorry!" Sammy, now looking much fresher, skidded to a halt next to her team, nearly tripped over her own two feet and only saved face by catching herself on Rodney's arm. "Ahh! I'm sorry! Again!" she said after backing away.
Rodney, for his part, managed to react before the blushing kicked in. "N-No problem. You good?"
Sammy nodded furiously. "Yes! All good!" Unlike Rodney, Sammy's blush was from pure embarrassment from being late. "Please, keep going!"
Chris frowned her way, but it didn't last. "Glad you could join us, Number Two." Sammy grimaced in distaste at that, and hung her head in further embarrassment. "Anyway, moving on." Pressing a button on his remote, Chris turned the TV on, which now displayed the set of logs before them. "Each player must take on a different Oof-stacle, starting with this greased log over a thorny bog."
He clicked the remote again, and the image on the screen shifted to one of a rope tied to a tree and extending across a large ravine. "That sets the next players up for a greasy zipline over the ravine."
Another click, and a complicated mess of large tubes was shown, with more grease leaking out of its sides and ends. "Then, a quick and painful journey through 'The Grease-tacular Tube-tacular'!"
After that, the TV presented a long series of tires sitting in an equally large puddle of grease. "Next up is the grease tires."
Then there was a large formation of boulders, with smaller ones surrounding larger ones in the middle, all of which were, shockingly, covered in grease. "Followed by a slippery climb up the grease rocks."
Transition number six showed a seemingly simple track of grease, next to which two green wheelbarrows sat. "After that, you'll move on to the greasy wheelbarrow race."
And finally, a large wooden wall drenched in, who woulda thought, grease. "And the last lucky player climbs a rope up the greased wall. Or tries to and falls. Which is way funnier."
"That's, um…" Dave said, his eyes as wide as saucers, "a lot of grease."
"Yep! Fresh from Chef Hatchet's deep fryers!" Chris told them. Dave shuddered at that, prompting Sky to comfortingly pat him on the back. "Now, I was gonna have you pass a relay baton, but we came to the executive decision that that idea was super boring. So instead…"
He gestured farther down the track, where the sound of squealing could be heard. Shortly after, the contestants gasped in surprise and shock as they witnessed Chef Hatchet struggling to drag two very large, two very live boars towards them. One was a pinkish color, the other brown, and both looked incredibly agitated and desperate to break free from their leashes.
"You're kidding," Shawn said in astonishment as several others balked at the sight.
"No kidding here! You'll be using these greased wild boars instead! Not so much batons, as they are…" Chris paused dramatically. "Ba-cons."
The joke fell flat with literally everyone. "Boooo!" jeered Max, hands cupping his mouth. "Get better material!"
Chris glowered at him, but kept it professional. "As anyone with a basic understanding of math will surely realize, one person from each team will be assigned to one of the seven Oof-stacles. In order to win, you must pass your batons from one team member to the next, until it's brought to the other side of the wall. The team who does so first will be the winner, and gets their pick from Chef's secret menu for dinner!"
The cheers from the campers were loud and pumped. "We're gonna win that meal!" Sky declared to her team. "We can do it!"
"You all have two minutes to decide your starting positions," Chris continued. "Better make them choices fast!"
Jasmine almost immediately began looking over the rest of her team, mentally selecting which person would be best on which part of the course. Unbeknownst to her, Rodney looked to be doing the same thing. "Alright, so how's about I start us off on the log," he said, "and then… Max can take the zipline across the-"
"Whoa whoa whoa, hold up," Amy suddenly said, raising a hand. "I can't get grease on this outfit! It's way too chic for that. So I want the zipline, since it's got the least amount of grease!"
"Oh, uh, okay." Rodney scratched his head in thought. "So, I'm first, and then Amy on the zipline, and then… Topher in the tubes-"
"Uhh, yeah, I'm gonna stop you there, buddy." Topher delicately ran a hand through his hair, causing it to swish in the wind. "My hair and grease do not mix, and those tubes are definitely dripping in it. I need an Oof-stacle that'll keep this coiffure looking fresh, if you catch my meaning."
"You did not actually just say Oof-stacle," Scarlett deadpanned.
"Yes I did, and so did you," Topher countered with a playful smirk, causing the brainiac to groan.
"Uhhhh," Rodney mumbled, slowly beginning to sweat. "O-Okay, so… there's me… and then Sam- No, Amy! Amy, right, and then… then…" He started counting on his fingers and muttering names to himself, causing some of the others to look at him in concern.
-RODNEY-
"Who knew keeping track of all these guys would be so hard?!" Rodney exclaims, hands on his head. "I don't nearly have this much trouble back home with my brothers! Ugh, c'mon, Rodney!" He slaps his cheeks a few times, and puts on a look of determination. "Let's try it again!"
-END-
"Alright, I got it this time!" Rodney suddenly declared. "So, first-"
"Sammy, we're gonna have you start off, okay?" Jasmine suddenly interrupted, drawing everyone's attention to her.
"Huh?! Me?!" Sammy exclaimed, startled at this decision. She cast the briefest of glances back over to Rodney, who was simply staring at Jasmine in surprise, but she didn't really pay him too much mind. "Uh… Well, o-okay! I guess."
"Righteous. Then it's Amy on the zipline, as requested."
Amy confidently nodded. "Thanks! You can count on me, Captain," she said with a smirk.
Jasmine smirked back. "Max, you'll take the tubes."
Max gasped, and started prodding Scarlett with his elbow. "She must've known that I enjoy completing mazes in my spare time!" he said to her in a stage whisper. Surprisingly, he didn't notice when she sighed heavily and swatted away his arm.
"Topher's on the tires," Jasmine continued. "Just stay out of the middles of them and you won't get too dirty. Worst comes to worst, the grease'll be as far from your hair as possible."
Topher shot her a pair of finger pistols. "Great to see you lookin' out for us, Cap!"
She chuckled, and turned to Rodney. "Now, there's two obstacles that require good upper body strength, so you're getting put on the boulders. Got it?"
Rodney blinked in bafflement. "I- What? But, wait a-"
Jasmine proceeded to ignore him. "Scarlett, you're on wheelbarrow duty."
"It shall be done," Scarlett replied with a smile.
"And I'll be on the wall," the survivalist finished. "Alright, to your places people! Hop to it like kangaroos!"
Kinosewak took off for their positions - only Rodney lagged behind, as he took a second to sigh in defeat - which left Maskwak debating on their own spots.
"Hey, not to steal this suggestion from one of the twins," Dave said, "but is it alright if I take the zipline? The less grease I have to deal with, the better."
"Hmm," Sky hummed, and looked at her team. Like Jasmine, she was mentally trying to place her teammates along the course. After a moment she said, "I think… that'll be okay, yeah."
Dave dramatically wiped the sweat from his brow. "Phew! Thanks, Sky."
"You're welcome," she said happily. Then she turned to Beardo. "Hey, how strong would you say you are? Ballpark it for me."
Beardo gripped one of his arms and squeezed. "Not… very?"
Sky narrowed her eyes in thought. "Alright… do you think you could lift a boar?"
The shy guy eyed the pigs with unease, and visibly gulped. "I mean… I can certainly try."
Sky nodded. "Okay. So Dave's on the ziplines, and we'll put you on the rocks. Cool?"
With only a bit of trepidation, Beardo nodded. "Cool. I s'pose."
"Great. I'll be on the wheelbarrow, since that one involves running and is pretty much up my alley. Shawn, would the tubes work for you?"
"Don't see why not," said the movie fan, shrugging.
"Okay, good." She looked at those remaining. "Three people left. Who here has good balance for the logs?"
Looking between the other final members, and subtly taking a glance at who else was tackling the log, Ella slowly raised a hand. "I mean… I'd like to think that I do? Maybe? Possibly?"
"Perfect. We'll have you starting us off, then," Sky said with a smile.
"Aye-aye, Captain," Ella replied, happily saluting.
"Leonard, you'll be on tires," Sky continued.
"Ho ho, a worthy challenge for one such as I…" Leonard suddenly said in a deep voice as he rubbed his hands. That earned him the confused stares of several of the others, prompting him to clear his throat. "I mean, you got it, Boss, hehe."
Sky chuckled lightly, and turned to the last person. "Okay, Sugar," she started. "Without a doubt, you're the strongest person here out of the rest of us."
Sugar beamed. "Why, thank you, Sky."
"But you're also on thin ice," Shawn reminded.
Sugar's grin dropped. "Why, thank you, Shawn."
"So we're going to have you prove you're capable of performing well by having you climb the wall at the end," Sky said. "Besides, you've probably dealt with pigs all the time back on your farm. Am I right?"
"You're darn tootin' I have!" Sugar bellowed, energy radiating from her. "Just you watch - that li'l critter's gonna be up the wall and on the other side faster than you can say 'turnips on a Tuesday'!"
-SUGAR-
"I gotta admit, Sky knows how to call 'em," Sugar says confidently. "Savin' the best for last? Ain't no way we're losin' now!"
-END-
With that, Team Maskwak broke apart and went to their separate positions. Some combinations of obstacle tacklers were wary of each other (Shawn and Max), while others simply ignored the other entirely (Sugar to Jasmine, and Topher to Leonard). That said, a few struck up quick conversations before they began.
"Hello again!" came Ella's cheerful voice as she approached the first obstacle.
Sammy turned around, and waved at Ella upon seeing her. "Oh, hi! Are you up first too?"
"Yep, sure am!" She stopped right next to the blonde at the starting line. "I'm really not sure how this is gonna turn out, but I'm positive something will happen!"
"Yeah, who really knows," Sammy agreed. "That said, I was surprised when Jasmine put me here. Someone else probably would've been better, honestly."
"Aw, don't say that!" Ella put a reassuring hand on Sammy's shoulder. "If she put you up first that has to mean she trusts you can do it, right?"
"Oh, gosh, you think?" Sammy asked shyly.
"I don't just think, I know!" the singer happily declared.
-ELLA-
"I've… seen her type before," Ella hesitantly admits to the camera. "She'll casually make remarks about herself that are more harmful than good, and won't even notice she's being so negative. It's hard to change that way of thinking naturally, but I want to help her! So I'm going to be extra, super positive whenever I'm talking with her!"
-SAMMY-
"Ella's really sweet," Sammy says with a hint of bashfulness. "Even though we're-" She snorts, "-enemies, she said those nice things about me to make me happy. Maybe when this is over we can-" She pauses, and the smile on her face wavers. "Ahh, no, it's probably best not to get my hopes up…"
-END-
Further down the course, Topher stood at the beginning of the tires, a compact held in front of him as he worked on getting his hair looking just right. Leonard, meanwhile, was standing next to him and glaring. "That was a nasty trick you pulled on me yesterday," the Dungeon Master said after a moment.
Topher closed his mirror and looked at him. "Hm? Sorry, who are you again?"
This only incited Leonard further, which was obviously Topher's plan. "You know very well who I am! I'm the guy you swindled the shield from at the dump yesterday!"
"Ohh, that so?" Topher asked, his smirk never falling. "Yeah, I make it a point to remember all the interactions I have that matter, so sorry 'bout that."
Leonard gasped loudly and dramatically. "You take that back, sir! I'll have you know that I matter to a lot of people!"
"But are those people here?" Topher countered, shutting Leonard up. "Maybe you matter to your little nerdling friends, but out here in the big world? You hardly make a splash." Leonard attempted to protest once more but Topher stopped him, holding up his compact once more. "Now hush, I need to make sure I'm looking up to industry standards."
Unable to get another word in, Leonard crossed his arms in a huff and took a step away from Topher.
"Everyone all lined up?" Chris eventually called through the speakers, to which there were several affirmatives from the cast. The host nodded at Chef, who brought the hogs over to where Ella and Sammy were standing.
Handing them both the boars' leashes, he leaned in close to them and whispered, "You girls be careful, these things got a nasty temper."
Both contestants glanced at the pigs, who were glaring at them and practically growling. The girls shared an uneasy look, which quickly morphed into startled expressions when Chris began the countdown.
"On your marks… get set…" Chef made the correct decision in backing away just slightly, and both Ella and Sammy gulped. "GO!" cried the host with an accompanying airhorn blast.
Said airhorn blast was enough to startle one of the hogs into sprinting away. Ella, not expecting this, had the leash slip from her hand. "What the- Oh come on!" She immediately took off after it, stumbling a bit every time she reached for it.
Unlike its opposite, Sammy's boar instead simply sat down and refused to budge. "Uh oh." The blonde quickly moved forward and tried to pull the creature with her, but her meager strength wasn't able to move it. "Ohh no no no, you have to move please!"
While the first players were busy dealing with their live batons, another conversation was happening further down the line. Scarlett and Sky were minding their own businesses, but the brainiac visibly cringed the moment she heard the nasally cry of Max from the tubes. "Scaaaarleeeett!" he shouted.
Scarlett groaned heavily and shouted right back. "Whaaaat?!" Whether she screamed so he could hear her or in a fit of rage had yet to be determined.
There was a pause from Max, long enough for one of Scarlett's eyes to twitch. And then, "Hiiiiiii!"
The redhead pressed the heels of her palms into her eyes, took in a deep breath, and exhaled in an exhausted whine.
-SCARLETT-
Scarlett leans on the wall of the confessional, her cheek pressed against it as she continues to groan. "What in the world did I do to deserve this," she says in agitation.
-END-
Alongside her, Sky watched in morbid fascination. "Um… Are you alright?" she hesitantly asked as she looked between Scarlett and where Max was.
Another sigh escaped Scarlett's mouth, and she took a moment to inspect Sky. "You're… not a member of my team, so there should be little consequence in sharing this with you." She pointed down the way, to where her 'friend' was now waiting for his turn to come. "Max has been a thorn in my side since yesterday. He refuses to leave me alone despite my attempts at warding him off. You can liken him to a lost, abandoned puppy following you around, but in this case Max is neither lost nor abandoned nor a puppy, and thus I couldn't care less for his insistence on staying near me." She sighed once more, this time less in irritation and more in relief. "I do apologize for saying all of this without warning to you, but I had to, as they say, 'get it off my chest'. I fear sharing these feelings of agitation with my team may compromise my good standing with them."
"Ohh…" Sky said slowly. "I understand. I… think."
-SKY-
"Scarlett might use big words that only college professors and doctors could understand, but she's still human. So if someone else on the island is bugging her, then of course I'm gonna side with her! What kind of person wouldn't?"
-END-
"If he's bothering you as much as you say he is, then I don't think your team would get upset if you bring it up with them," Sky suggested.
Scarlett raised a brow. "You truly think so?"
"Yeah, I do," Sky nodded. "They seem like nice enough people, they'll most likely have your back."
Scarlett rubbed her chin in thought. "I'll admit, I was hesitant on bringing it up with them. But if what you say is true, I just might talk to them."
"That's the spirit," Sky said with an encouraging smile.
-SCARLETT-
"I'm not exactly one to rely on others for assistance," Scarlett explains. "The thought of bringing up eliminating one of our own for a reason that some may consider 'petty' led me to believe that I would be the one ganged up on. But of course, having my teammates give me the time to explain my position is the proper logical outcome. Humans are more likely to sympathize if the reason to do so is great enough." Scarlett pauses for a moment in thought. "One could also argue that I should have simply told Max to leave me alone. And to that I say… that's letting him off too lightly."
-END-
Back at the beginning, Sammy had managed to finally drag her unmoving pig up to the logs, but now she was stuck trying to get the thing on there. "Oh, why did I have to side with Mom against Amy getting a dog?!" she bemoaned, trying to push the farm animal up the slope.
Ella was likewise having problems. The leash was always just out of her grasp with every attempt to grab it, almost as if the pig knew exactly when to move away. "Alright, I'm starting to get annoyed now!" she called out to it. "Be a good little piggy and let me catch you!" With that, she actually leapt at it and tackled it to the ground, finally grabbing hold of its restraints. "Yes!" Untangling herself from the struggling pig, she managed to direct it towards the logs.
Unfortunately for her, Sammy heard that and looked back. "Oh no!" With even more effort put into it, she pushed the pig as much as she could. Soon enough, it was beginning to glide up the log, thanks in part to the grease removing the friction. Sammy grinned when she noticed it. "Thank goodWHOA!" And then her own foot touched the grease, slipping out from under her and causing her to faceplant into the ground.
That extra bit of force however was enough for her boar to make it to the top of the log and start sliding to the other end. Sammy pulled herself up from the ground and shook off the dizziness, and only then noticed that her pig was leaving without her. "Oh, that's good but also bad!" She hastily climbed onto the log and began slipping along it. "Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa-"
Just as Sammy stepped onto the log, Ella made it back. She stopped right next to it and directed her pig, who was still running, to climb it. "Go go, little guy, up the log, you can do it!" When it began to slip on the grease, Ella actually shoulder-tackled it from behind, giving it that extra push to the top. Without wasting time she followed it, and slid across the log as if it was a skateboard.
Sammy, who was flailing both her arms and legs to stay upright, saw her enemy do this. She attempted to scurry faster along the log, but this only ended in more thrashing. And while Ella had successfully landed on the other side, Sammy slipped once more at the end and landed painfully on the ground.
"Woo!" Ella cheered upon landing. "What a rush!"
"Oww…" Sammy moaned, rubbing her head. "That could've gone better."
As both girls were either clapping in delight or wallowing in pain, they were no longer holding the leashes, and as such both pigs took off the second they landed on solid ground. "Oops, forgot that part. Uh, Dave, grab him!" Ella shouted to him. "Or her! I don't actually know!"
Farther down the way, both part two players - Dave and Amy - were standing at the ready to receive their pigs. They both wore helmets on their heads and special belts around their waists and legs. While Dave's focus was entirely on his incoming hog, Amy kept glaring down at the harness wrapped around her. "Ugh, this totally throws off my look! If I had known I'd be forced to wear this thing I would've asked to be put somewhere else!"
"Amy!" Sammy suddenly cried from offscreen. "Heads up!"
"Huh? Oh!" The older sister directed her attention back to the game, but stopped herself short. "Uh, wait, which one is which?!"
Dave took a quick moment to look her way. "Pretty sure yours is the pink one."
Amy gave him a grateful smile. "Oh, thanks-"
It was at that moment that the brown pig leaped up and landed on top of Dave. To add insult to injury, it stayed there unmoving.
"Aaauugh," Dave groaned from beneath it. "Grease… so much grease…"
Amy stared at the two of them in shock, but had no time to react as her own team's pig entered the scene. With dexterity befitting of a cheerleader, Amy snagged the leash from the air and pulled the boar to a stop, digging her heels into the dirt. "Easy there, easy!" she called out to it. Luckily, it came to a halt just before the ravine. Amy wiped her brow in relief, and attached her belt to the rope. "Now how are we doing this without messing up my outfit…"
"Amy!" came Sammy's voice once more, this time to urge her to hurry up.
"Argh, alright alright, I'm going!" Hoisting the pig onto her shoulders with minimal effort and securing it there, Amy took a running leap off of the ledge.
-AMY-
"Most people are surprised when they find out how fit you can get from cheerleading," Amy explains to the camera. "Since it's not a full-contact sport, like football or something, everyone thinks it's a low effort way for the crowds and players to get some eye candy." She grimaces slightly. "Not… gonna deny that last part, but like, have you seen my legs? They're toned as heck!"
-END-
After a few moments, a grease-covered Dave managed to push the hog off of him. Noticing the mess on his clothes and skin, he gasped and immediately tried to wipe everything off. "The grease! Oh god, the grease is everywhere!"
"Uh oh," Ella said from her spot back at the first obstacle, and she took off towards him. "Dave, it won't hurt you! You'll be fine, just keep going!"
"You don't know that!" he shouted back at her.
"This grease is literally used to cook food, it won't hurt you!"
"But- But- The pig!"
By this point Ella had reached him, and she hauled Dave to his feet. "He's harmless! Or she, I still don't know. But anyways! All you have to do is ride the rope down and you can go wash off in the bathroom! It'll be over in seconds, trust me!"
Dave looked from Ella to the rope, to the pig, and back to Ella again. Still panicking, he nevertheless cried out, "Agghh, okay, fine!" In a fit of adrenaline, Dave raised the pig up and carried it to the rope, attaching his belt to it and leaping off in much the same manner that Amy did.
Speaking of, Amy was still gliding down. It seemed to be smooth sailing, but she soon realized that she was gaining speed, and far too quickly for her liking. "Hey, wait, I'm not supposed to go this fast, am I?" She looked up to examine the rope and, to her dismay, only now realized that it was coated in the slick grease from before. "Oh, great. I really should have seen that coming," she said with a frown.
Then, her pig squealed, and actually pointed forward with one of its hooves. Amy looked in that direction, only to see the other side of the ravine coming in hot. "AAAAAAHHHH!" Both occupants screamed loudly just as their tether snagged at the end of the rope, launching both of them into the air as it snapped.
Amy flew somersaulting backwards, while the pig, who weighed more than the human, fell to the earth faster than she did. Max, down below, was scurrying back and forth with his arms raised above his head. "I got it, I got it, I-" The pig landed on him with a grunt, crushing him into the ground. "I got it…" he muttered painfully from beneath it.
That was when Amy landed on top of the pig, causing more moans of pain from everyone underneath her. Her eyes were shut as she tensed for the impact, but when nothing too damaging happened she hesitantly opened them and looked down. "You know," she said after a moment, "I feel like everyone else should've been given a helmet, too."
More screams were then heard, and everyone's attention shifted upwards to Dave as he and his own pig plummeted from up high. "How do you stop this thiiing?!" he cried out, hanging onto his attachment cord for dear life. Unlike his opponent, Dave's cord didn't snap from the speed, and it instead caused him to slam into the tree the zipline was tied to.
The pig wasn't so lucky however, and rather than fly upwards like Amy's did, it was instead launched forward towards Shawn at blinding speeds. The movie nut shrieked several octaves higher than his normal voice, and instinctively ducked under it at the last possible second.
Amy was attempting to get off of Kinosewak's pig, but Maskwak's pig helped her out by slamming right into her and sending them both screaming and careening down the path.
Now free of one less source of weight, Max weakly uttered, "Thank you…"
The pig sat unmoving, but that was okay for Chris McLean as he appeared on the scene. "It's neck and neck and is about to get tubular!" he declared. "Who's got the pork chops to win?! Find out when we return, on Total… Drama… Paaahkitew Island!"
As the camera zoomed out to a full shot of the island, Max's voice was once again heard. "Your jokes… still need work…"
"Shut up, Max," Chris replied bitterly.