Chapter 72
Unusually quiet, given her temperament, Lydia departed company after well wishes circulated for herself and her elder sister, and the gentleman had taken their leave. She declared all of the excitement made her desirous of rest. "For I cannot be expected to be excellent company if I'm not properly seen too! My aunt will understand, there is much for a married woman to be about. I shall need to properly refresh myself." she declared, prior to departing their company. Though truly happy to be marrying such a man, their conversation, much like the one with her aunt, provoked introspection she was not well suited for, but now could not keep herself from, however much she wished for it.
After speaking with her uncle, Colonel Parker had requested a private audience with her. Her uncle, escorting Parker in and the others out, shot her a meaningful look, which would have been rightly lost on her had her aunt not troubled herself to explain the situation to Lydia on two prior occasions. All in all, she was happy to marry him, not just because of the state of her reputation, or that she wished to have the distinction of marriage, but because she, in her own way liked him as well. There was something strong and steady about him. She should have hardly considered those words if someone had asked her a week ago what she should like in a husband; she would have instead used words such as dashing, charming, and clever. Now having seen that charming manners do not hold up behind closed doors in the way in which she had expected, she found the sureness she felt standing next to him drawing her in.
Her father's temperament had never imparted that feeling to her. Her mother's desperation had put her in a way to develop a dangerously singular mindset -she must be married. She had previously thought not much beyond her goal - only desiring to be the best of all her sisters at accomplishing the task. She now realized that was not the finish but the beginning - it seemed that there was much to think on in regards to life after a wedding. Colonel Parker, who in her opinion was quite handsome enough- though he did not qualify as dashing - had spoken to her in detail of their lives and their children's lives before he made her an offer.
As her uncle had closed the door, Parker began to speak almost immediately. "Miss Lydia, if it pleases you, I would like, in order that you are best able to determine your own wishes, to discuss how our lives would be. I understand that you know why I am here?"
She merely nodded and he continued. First explaining his position and life, his brother's debts, the benefits to both of them. He outlined their circumstances, but neither censored nor humiliated her - he merely laid it out as though it was a plan of attack to regain what had been lost for both in previous battles of their lives. He explained the terrible burden that must have been placed on her due to the entail and explained that he meant to live in such a way that his wife and children would never need to have such fears. As she was young it was expected she could not know all of the duties required of the mistress of the estate, as such, his mother would remain, daily schooling her on household management, her duties to the servants and tenets, and all else that was required of her in order that their children would someday proposer.
She remained mostly silent, only occasionally nodding as he spoke. In truth, she found she did not know what to say, as these ideas had never before been presented to her and the past few days had matured her enough to realize it must not be dismissed. As he spoke she realized the importance of many of the tasks to the running of the home - she had known the servants had always accomplished their tasks but never thought much about how they determined to do what. She had known her mother "ordered" their dinners but had never considered how such things were determined - other than one's own wishes. She had known Lizzy and Jane assisted their mother in household matters but had never thought on what those matters might be. It seemed that all her life had been spent on learning to acquire a husband but she had no understanding of what was to be done after she had "caught him."
He had interrupted her musings most abruptly, in her own estimation when he said, "Miss Lydia if all of this is acceptable to you, I should be delighted to make you my wife. I believe we could make one another very happy, in spite of our current inducements to enter the wedded state. Our history need not define us, I wish that we should both move forward with a clean slate."
She smiled a brilliant smile at him, she appreciated as best as her new understanding of the world enabled her too, that he was a very tolerable way forward in a situation where she was surrounded by intolerable options. She quite liked the way he spoke to her, as though she understood things, which, in truth, she did not. She found she liked him for thinking so well of her, no one had ever spoken to her as though she was as sensible as Lizzy, it was not so very droll after all to be admired for something other than her looks. She determined in her own heart to do well by him, albeit for selfish reasons, as there was very little else she wanted more at the moment than for him to be proud of her.
"I should be delighted, Colonel Parker. For though I shall marry with two of my sisters, I shall be the only one to marry a man with a fine red coat. Mrs. Parker! I'm sure I should never be so delighted to be called anything as I will to be called your wife."
Parker, quite concerned the gravity of the responsibilities of being a mistress of an estate were not fully appreciated by her still found that he was delighted no the less with her enthusiasm to wed him. He could not have borne taking a hesitant bride even with the promise of relief from his debt, no matter how acceptable it was to arrange affairs in such a way.
Thanks again for your patience dear readers. I don't know if I'll have anything for you tomorrow but I will be posting regularly again. I hope you didn't have to much trouble remembering the story when I added yesterdays update.