a holiday mishap
Regulus smiled to himself as he sat curled up in his favourite armchair, his nose in a book. He was happy, he was content, he was satisfied. It was Christmas Eve and he was surrounded by his 'found' family—his brother, his boyfriend, and the people who he had come to call his friends, after Sirius had allowed him to join in on their friendship circle.
They'd had a few drinks, enjoyed a nice meal, and now they were relaxing before they would be spending Christmas all together the following day.
Remus and Sirius were curled up on the couch together. Remus had taken up knitting in recent weeks, and was slowly click-clacking his needles together while he worked on something gaudy and yellow. Sirius was leaning against him with his feet up on the arm of the sofa, flicking through a music magazine. Peter was sitting in the far chair by the window, watching the television that was playing an old Christmas movie.
Regulus looked over his book towards the door, wondering where James had gotten to. Seeing Sirius and Remus cuddled up together was starting to make him miss James. Even though Sirius was still prone to throwing them dirty looks whenever they started getting a bit too close to each other, now that James and Regulus had been together for a year, he was starting to loosen the reins a little bit.
"Where is James?" Remus asked idly, as though he'd read Regulus's mind.
"I don't know," Regulus muttered. "He said he was just nipping to the shop, but he's been ages." He glanced down at his watch. "It's nearly nine—I'm sure the shop closed at five with it being Christmas Eve."
"He's up to something, I reckon," Peter offered.
Sirius sat up straight. "Peter's right," he said. "He's been acting pretty dodgy today, like he's got some big secret planned." He narrowed his eyes. "I might go look for him." Sirius stood up, and just as he did, there was a strange noise from the fireplace.
"What was that?" Remus said, putting his knitting down on the arm of the couch.
There was another noise—a scraping of some sort, coming from high up the chimney breast. "Peter, turn the tv off," Sirius ordered, and Peter knocked the button on the remote.
They all gathered around the open fireplace. "Do you think it's a bird?" Sirius queried, trying to peer up the fireplace.
"Sounds too big to be a bird," Remus replied.
"Maybe a cat or something?" said Peter.
"Oh, no," Regulus dropped to his hands and knees and crawled onto the hearth. "Someone go find a torch—we can't leave a poor cat up there."
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Cat people," he scoffed.
There was a sudden deep, rumbling sound from inside the chimney—almost like a laugh.
"What the fuck?" hissed Sirius.
"Oh my God," Regulus yelped. He jumped away from the fireplace and grabbed the nearest weapon from the sofa - a small pair of scissors that Remus had been using to trim his wool. "Are we being burgled?"
"Down the chimney?" Sirius snapped. "Who burgles people down the chimney?"
"It did sound like a burglar," Peter commented.
"And what exactly does a burglar sound like?" whispered Remus.
"HO HO HO…" the voice from up the chimney bellowed. "Merry Christma—oh, shit!" There was a sudden, deafening crash. A huge plume of soot fired out from the fireplace, followed by a large, crimson blob, covered in bits of brick from the inside of the chimney and dirt. "Ow…" the figure groaned.
Peter shrieked, Regulus screamed, Sirius yelled at the top of his voice and Remus just looked shell-shocked. They all jumped back, covered in the soot, and Sirius started wafting at the air to try and clear it.
"Ow…" repeated the figure mournfully.
Regulus moved closer and saw that the person, who was wearing a huge red-and-white santa suit, complete with something stuffed down the front to make him look extra podgy, was James. His face was covered in soot, his glasses were cracked, and there was blood smeared on the hearth. He'd landed with a small brown sack clutched to his padded stomach, and he was groaning.
"What the hell are you doing?" hissed Regulus, reaching forward to yank James away from the fireplace. "Are you trying to scare me to death? What is the matter with you? You better have a perfectly good explanation for this!"
James sat upright and rubbed the back of his head. His fingers came away stained with blood, and he grumbled to himself. "It was supposed to be a fun surprise," he mumbled. "You know. Santa Claus."
Regulus shook his head angrily as he pulled James's broken glasses away from his face. Remus knelt down behind James and pushed his head forward, combing through his hair to try and find the source of the bleeding. He grimaced a bit when he found what he was looking for. "Ouch," he said sympathetically. "Peter, you better go put the kettle on. James might have to go to the hospital. Better make him a sugary tea before he goes." Peter nodded and rushed off to the kitchen, seemingly glad for something to do.
Regulus threw up his hands. "Oh, brilliant!" he yelled sarcastically, glaring at James. "I can't believe this is happening! Funny, I don't remember putting a trip to Accident and Emergency on my Christmas wish list!"
"M'sorry, Reg," James said in a muffled voice. He looked up at Regulus with watery eyes, and Regulus felt his temper drop just a little. "I don't need the hospital. I just wanted…to do something nice."
"You could have stayed in the room and watched Christmas films with me or made me some Eggnog," grumbled Regulus, but he shook his head, taking James's hands in his. "You're an idiot, James Potter."
"Yeah," Sirius said. "You're my mate and I love you, but you're a royal pain in the arse. Did you not think that maybe if you'd asked for my help pulling off this stunt you actually could have done it properly?" He pursed his lips as he looked at James. Remus glanced over at Sirius and shook his head.
"Honestly," he muttered. "Your best mate nearly kills himself, and the only thing you're worried about is that you didn't get to pull off the prank with him?"
"It wasn't a prank," James said. "I was being Santa! I brought you all gifts and everything." He opened his brown sack and started reaching in for the presents, all the same shaped box, wrapped unassumingly in navy blue tissue paper. He looked at them for a few moments before handing them around the group, waiting for Peter to come back with a cup of tea to give him his. "Open them now," he said excitedly, despite the blood trickling down the back of his neck.
"James," snapped Regulus. "This isn't the time. We can open your presents in the morning, you need stitches."
"I need to drink my tea first, anyway," James said, taking the cup from Peter, "so you may as well open your presents first." He flashed a weak grin at Regulus, and Regulus rolled his eyes, starting to peel the tissue paper away from his gift.
When he opened the box inside, he frowned at his gift. It wasn't that Regulus was ungrateful, but he had never knitted or crocheted a stitch in his life, so he wasn't sure why James would be giving him three balls of colourful yarn. He glanced at James, ready to plaster a smile on his face. Maybe this was James's way of telling him he wanted him to learn a new hobby?
"Mate, what is this about?" Peter asked suddenly. He was holding up a pair of fluffy, pastel pink socks with 'S.B' embroidered on both soles. "Do I have the wrong gift?"
"I'm not sure about mine either," Remus said, taking out his present, which was a selection box of continental cheeses. "I hate cheese—I thought you knew that?"
James paled considerably as he looked at the last box—the one that Sirius was holding. "Oh, bugger…" he muttered. "What have I done? Padfoot—don't open that box!"
Sirius had been carefully opening his parcel, but when James started lumbering forwards to try and retrieve it from him, he ripped away the parcel determinedly.
"Sirius—it's not—"
"What the fuck?" Sirius asked, reaching into the box and pulling out a silky pair of lace underpants. "Is this…lingerie?"
"Oh…I can't believe this is happening," mumbled Regulus, putting his hand over his face.
"Brilliant," sniggered Peter.
"Is this meant to be for my brother?" Sirius asked, holding up the pants.
"Well observed," hissed Regulus. "Just put them back in the box and we'll swap gifts back and act like nothing happened! It's pretty obvious that the fluffy socks are meant for you!"
"Why are you buying silky knickers for my little brother, James?" Sirius continued, still clutching the pants in his fist.
"Oh, we're still doing this?" Regulus shook his head and put his box of wool down. "Remus, I'm assuming the wool is for you. James—get up, I'm taking you to the hospital."
"But—"
"Now," Regulus ordered. "You have an open wound on the back of your head and you probably have a concussion. It isn't up for debate."
James nodded defeatedly and started pulling at his costume. "Do you want to help me get out of this Santa outfit before we go?"
Regulus looked up and down at James's outfit, then back at his face. "No," he said. "I think you better stay in it for now. You'll have to explain to the doctor exactly what you were doing, after all." He grabbed James's car keys from the dresser and gestured for James to follow him.
"Wait a minute—" Sirius stood up, still holding the underwear. "I haven't finished—I just want to know what his intentions were with this—"
"Give it a rest!" hissed Regulus, snatching the underpants out of Sirius's hands and shoving them in his pocket. He didn't miss Remus's snort of laughter, or the way Peter had to turn the other way to stop from sniggering. Regulus shook his head at all of them and all but shoved James out to the car.
"You're shaking," commented James once he was sitting in the passenger seat of his own car. "On a scale of one to ten, how badly did I just fuck up?"
Regulus leaned over the handbrake and pressed his mouth to James's in a hard kiss. When he pulled away, he glared at James. "Don't you ever do that to me again, do you hear? I thought someone was coming to murder us, and then I thought you'd killed yourself! You could have gotten seriously hurt."
James looked apologetic, and smiled awkwardly. "I'm sorry," he said softly. "I just thought—"
"Just stop thinking," Regulus said with a grin as he started the engine. "Nothing good ever comes from you thinking."
Written For:
- Assignment #12/Cybersecurity Task #1: Write about someone pretending to be something/someone they're not.
- Winter Funfair/Naughty Elf on the Shelf: 15. (dialogue) "Do you want to help me get out of this (insert item of clothing)?"
- Winter Funfair/Naughty or Nice: Naughty 17. (dialogue) "You're shaking."
- Winter Funfair/Decorate the Christmas Tree: 7. (dialogue) "Don't you ever do that again, you hear me?"
- Winter Funfair/Snowman Dressing: Eyes 9. Crimson
- Winter Funfair/Hot Chocolate Station: Section 3 - 1. (dialogue) "I can't believe this is happening."
- Winter Funfair/Shoebox to Charity: 19. (object) Scissors
- Winter Funfair/Advent Calendar: 17. (dialogue) "On a scale of one to ten, how badly did I just fuck up?"
- Winter Funfair/12 Days of Shipmas: 10. (dialogue) "Are you trying to scare me to death?"
- Winter Funfair/Christmas Karaoke: 18. (dialogue) "I don't remember putting a trip to A&E on my Christmas wish list."
- Winter Funfair/Winter Bingo: 31. (item) Fluffy Socks
- Writing Club/Written in the Stars: 18. (dialogue) "You're my friend and I love you, but you are a royal pain."
- Writing Club/Showtime: 10. (dialogue) "What have I done?"
- Writing Club/Film Festival: 13. (item) lingerie
- Writing Club/Elizabeth's Empire: 20. (prompt) Write about a holiday mishap.
- Writing Club/Buttons: 2. Explanation
- Christmas Fight Club/Fight: 2. (character) Peter Pettigrew
- Moony's Neon Cafe/Food: 9. (action) Knitting/Crocheting
Word Count: 1,835