A/N: Italics indicate internal thought.

Bold indicates Shepard Reaper speech

Bold Italics indicate Reaper internal speech

Please comment and review

This is my first attempt at a story, so I am open to constructive criticism. Also If anyone has suggestions for the story feel free to give them.

Preparing for the Worst

Location: Cerberus Flotilla Headquarters, Cronos Station

Time: 1200 CST

Date: 1st January 2184

The Illusive man took a drag from his cigarette, "so, you retained the dangerous bio weapons from Klurikon?" he asked, in his calculating tone. Reaper simply nodded in response, "and you intend to use them? Previously you have been averse to my suggestions of using their own weapons against them, what has changed?" Reaper turned his gaze to the large window and the star beyond, "things are getting worse, anti-human violence is increasing rapidly. But it is not just their actions that concern me. Since the Turians laid waste to that colony, there has been an increasing demand for us to retaliate against a Turian colony…..a civilian colony." Reaper turned his gaze to the floor, "this situation is one I have created, many will die at the hands of the mob before we can save them. If we wish to prevent these deaths then….we only have one option," he turned to look back up at the Illusive man, and for a second he thought he saw the signs of an extremely sinister smile, but he blinked and it was gone. "Please tell me how you intend to use these weapons?" he asked, sounding genuinely curious.

Reaper turned away uncomfortably, "these viruses were designed for maximum dispersal and infection, if released at a high enough altitude they can spread over an entire planet within a week. The second step is to create a machine capable of doing that," he explained. "Second step?" The Illusive man asked, Reaper looked him in the eye, "first step is to create cures for them." The Illusive man looked intrigued at that statement, so Reaper continued, "we will release these bio weapons on the homeworlds and the Citadel. As the populations become…. become infected, we will mobilise our forces and seize control of their Capitals. We will demand that they end slavery and grant humanity its freedom in exchange for a cure. They will have….they will have no choice but to concede," he muttered the last part rather uneasily. The Illusive man took another drag of his cigarette as he pondered his plan, "you are aware of the lethality of these bio weapons?" Reaper nodded, "you realise we have no way of telling how long it will take for the Citadel races to agree to our demands?" Reaper look down at the ground again, "I have run simulations, the most generous show casualties of several hundred thousand," Reaper stood there silently for a moment before he continued, "the worst give figures of several…. billion."

"And you are prepared to do that?" The Illusive man asked, "I am," he replied. "Then I'm sure with the help of Miss Lawson you will be able to crea-," "no," Reaper cut him off. The Illusive man looked at him quizzically, "I will create the antidotes. I will design the machines. I will deploy them and I will activate them. I will be the one solely responsible for this." "And why do you wish that?" "My friends…. I do not wish to burden them with this. In addition, if Cerberus wishes to condemn my actions, then I will be the only one they condemn. And if the Galaxy requires someone to answer for it, then I alone will answer," he said solemnly. The illusive man looked at him before nodding.

"There are two other criteria that must be met if this plan is to be a success. First, we must shatter the unity of the Citadel races. We will release the evidence we have of their respective crimes, particularly their crimes against each other. So that when the viruses are released, they will be too distrustful of each other to consider aligning against us." "And second?" "We must ensure that the Alliance is willing to welcome Cerberus back with open arms. To that end it is time we began removing the Hierarchy's puppets. Those who collaborate willingly will die, but we will do so discreetly. Those who are coerced, we will find whatever the Hierarchy holds over them."

Satisfied that he had explained everything, Reaper began to leave, then the Illusive man called out to him, "you said you would be willing to answer for your actions, does that involve revealing your identity?" "No, it may involve arranging Jonathan Shepard's death."

000

Location: New York, Earth

Time: 2200 CST

Date: 7th January 2184

Despite what many would think, Turians did not have an overwhelming presence on humanity's homeworld. Legions of Turian soldiers didn't march down the streets of human Cities and oppress citizens. In point of fact, it hadn't taken as extensive damage at the end of the war, when compared to some of its colonies, such as Terra Nova. Several Batarian and Turian ships had been able to get past the fleets, they made landfall and abducted and killed thousands of people, but compared to the number of ships that the Alliance fleets had destroyed in orbit it could be considered an insignificant amount, especially considering how outnumbered they had been. In fact, when the Alliance formally surrendered, Earth did not require as large scale reconstruction compared to its colonies. In addition, while the majority of Earth's colonies constantly suffered from few resources and poor technology due to having to pay reparations and the trade embargoes enforced by the Hierarchy, the people of Earth enjoyed advanced technologies and luxuries such as sky cars and genetic engineering medical therapies. The Turians mostly kept their presence to the planet's military bases, the Hierarchy had come to the somewhat wise conclusion that an obvious occupation would likely only succeed in driving more humans into the arms of Cerberus, and that placing their own puppets in positions of power would be a less costly way of enforcing their control.

Sadly, like every mega-city in the Galaxy, New York had a dark side, where people could vanish without a trace. In a deserted part of the city, half a dozen armed thugs were corralling a group of three dozen people, of various ages, towards a cargo ship. The captives were all trembling, their eyes darted around, suddenly one started to sprint, in an attempted to escape. Unfortunately for him, one of the thugs intercepted him and knocked him to the ground with the butt of his rifle, then proceeded to kick him in the stomach. One of the other thugs spoke out to him, "hey don't damage him too much, they only fetch a good price if they're healthy," the other thug looked at him with a disgruntled look on his face, suddenly several high velocity slugs tore through his chest and his body fell forward. Standing behind him were two Alliance soldiers, one of them still holding his smoking rifle. The other activated his comms, "we've located them, the entire group is here, head to our location," he said. The slavers immediately pointed their weapons at the two soldiers, the leader gave a chuckle and stepped forward, "well, well, well boys, looks like we got a couple of heroes," the other thugs began to join in the laughter.

"We're shutting down your whole operation you bastard," one of the soldiers said as he aimed his rifle at the man's head. This only caused the thugs to start laughing even harder, "you've got no idea who you're messing with, we're protected, you'll never even get us to trial."

The two Alliance soldiers looked at each other momentarily, before they burst out laughing themselves, "he thinks we didn't know that, ha, ha, ha," one of them said, "yeah, and you thought we were calling in Alliance reinforcements," the other one said. They turned back to the thugs, "no we were calling in our new friends," one of the Alliance soldiers said. Suddenly the thugs tensed up as they heard a sound, out of the shadows stepped half a dozen Cerberus soldiers all donned in Ironman armour, seeing them, the thugs immediately began to sweat. "Oh, and one other thing," The Alliance soldier said, "they're not interested in trials either."

One of the armoured figure steps forward, "kill these traitors," he yelled. What followed was several bursts of gunfire and then screams.

000

Location: SSV London

Time: 0200 CST

Date: 20th January 2184

John sat in the cruiser's starboard lounge, Kaidan, Jacob and James were sleeping in the bunk's next-door, but he was busy creating a design on his omni-tool. The design of the devices that would deploy the bio-weapons. The door behind him opened and he quickly swapped over to the schematics of the ATLAS mech. "Anyone who'd pulled off what you did Shepard would probably be getting a weeks' worth of sleep," remarked Captain Anderson. "I've explained this several times sir, I don't really need sleep," he responded. "Just because you don't need sleep, doesn't mean you shouldn't," said Anderson, his brow furrowing in slight concern. He had noticed a change in Shepard over the past few weeks, while the young man always seemed driven, he had become somewhat sombre and withdrawn, as if he was reluctant to interact with people.

Shepard and his squad had just succeeded in destroying another slaver base. The Hierarchy had given permission for them to engage, of course the reason for that became evident when they didn't appear until after they had taken the structure. Shepard assumed that they were expecting the humans' initial assault to fail, so they could swoop in and succeed, so as to further demonstrate how much the Alliance required the Hierarchy. Of course, that wasn't how things had gone down, despite the base having impressive defences, John had been able to get close to the front gate, plant a bomb and blow it open, he and his squad then quickly disabled the bases outer defences, the base fell relatively quickly after that. General Salvitus then appeared to take the captured slavers into custody, only to see that the Alliance, 'unfortunately', hadn't taken any prisoners. They had succeeded in liberating the few dozen slaves held there, but they found no useful information, it was obvious someone had informed them of the impending attack.

"Shepard is something wrong? I know you've never been the most social person, but you had improved compared to when we I first met. Lately though…. you seem to have become extremely introverted."

Shepard sighed, that statement caused him to reminisce slightly.

000

(flashback)

It had only been two weeks since he started bootcamp, and John was already finding the degradation of the Turian overseers unbearable. He was currently spending his spare time in the gym, and was doing reps with a barbell as a way to vent his stress. He heard footsteps approaching, he placed the barbell back down and turn to look at the newcomer. He immediately noticed the officer's uniform the man was wearing, so stood up and saluted, it was then, that he realised who this man was.

"At ease trainee," Captain Anderson said, "I was watching your performance, you've got a lot of potential," he commented. John couldn't help but smile at that, "that means a lot coming from you Captain Anderson," he said. Anderson raised an eyebrow at that, "you know who I am?" he asked. "Yeah, both my parents talked about you a lot," Shepard responded. Anderson nodded at that, "I've been through a lot with them," his face then turned serious, "that is truthfully why I'm here."

Shepard looked away at that, "so they asked you to keep an eye on me?" John guessed. "You can't really blame them after what you threatened to do," Anderson replied. John cringed slightly at that, truthfully it was a bit late to consider joining Cerberus. Of course, the Illusive man had decided to inform him of Anderson's true loyalties. Anderson activated his omni-tool and began scanning around, "all right it's safe talk. John, trust me when I say this you don't want to get involved with them. It may sound heroic, fighting back against the slavers, but you need to know, most of time, Cerberus just attacks people for the sole reason that they are aliens. Honestly, sometimes I find it really hard to keep working with them," John faked a surprised expression at Anderson's supposed confession. As the Captain began to walk away, Shepard wondered, Anderson was doing this out of loyalty to his parents, and he trusted him enough to admit he was with Cerberus. Perhaps he could trust Anderson to.

"Hey Anderson," he started, "what would you say if I told you, that warning is about three months to late?" Anderson looked him alarmed. Shepard looked at him and continued, "Anderson if I tell you this you will be privy to a secret not even the Admirals are. Can I trust you not to tell a soul about what I'm about to reveal?" Anderson stared at him for several long moments before he nodded. "I'm sure you've heard about the new technology that has been developed," Anderson's eyes widened in realisation, "yes I know, I developed it," John finished. "But that's not everything," he then held up his right arm and red energy began to flicker around it. Anderson stared in shock, "damn, that's something," he whispered. "I know you don't approve of the random attacks. Neither do I. That's why Cerberus is going to change their approach," John said.

000

John had just returned to the Vila Militar from his attack on Baetetia. He found Anderson waiting for him, "well, to say that left an impression would be a hell of an understatement," he said with a grin which John returned. Anderson's face then turned serious, "I heard from Lindholm, that the Illusive man wanted you to keep the weapons the Turians developed," he said, John just looked away. "If it means anything, I think you did the right thing. We could have built those weapons with the best of intentions, but the temptation to abuse them would have always existed. Perhaps our descendants would have used them to subjugate others." John looked at him, "thanks, that actually means a lot to me." Anderson smiled at him, before turning serious again, "seriously John, you've interacted with the Illusive man more than anyone else. What's your take on him?" John looked down at the floor, "I….. I don't know."

000

John slumped in a chair, having just returned to Fort Charles Upham after rescuing his sister's. He heard footsteps behind him. Anderson approached and offered him a glass of whiskey, "you look like you could use it son," he remarked. John nodded in thanks before downing the glass, "Anderson, did I bring this on my family?" he asked, barely above a murmur, "I was supposed to save people." "You have John, you have already saved countless people, and you're only going to save more," Anderson spoke up, "but even as Jonathan Shepard, you spat in the eyes of the slavers. There were always gonna be casualties, things were always going to get worse before they got better. And you were able to save them." John rested his head in his hand, "this time Anderson, but what if I hadn't…" John couldn't finish. Anderson sighed, "I know it's easy to worry about worst-case scenarios, especially when they were so close to happening, but you can't let that stop you." Anderson stood up and placed a hand on John's shoulder, "you've given humanity hope that it will be free of slavery one day soon, that accomplishment alone is invaluable." John looked at him and smiled, "thank you sir."

(flashback end)

000

John's eyes snapped open, as he came back to the present, he turned back to Anderson, "I promise you, I'm fine sir," he said, offering a weak smile. Anderson analysed him for a few moments before sighing , "remember, I put your name forward for the promotion to lieutenant and an N7 designation, so you will be spending the next few weeks doing officer training." John nodded before turning his attention back to the schematic. Anderson made to leave, but at the door, he turned back to Shepard, "your friends are starting to worry about you John, don't push them away." As the door shut, John sat there pondering those words, suddenly he heard a nasty snigger as the form of Reaper stood to his side. 'You probably should have told him….. Monsters don't have friends,' the entity said, John let out a deep sigh before responding, "I know they don't."

000

Location: Citadel, Liara's apartment

Time: 0100

Date: 15th February 2184

[BGM start: 'If I surrender' by Citizen Soldier]

Reaper stared down at Liara's sleeping form, he looked through the open bedroom door to the shape of Tali, sleeping on the couch. Seeing them both like this brought back memories of when he had lived with them, they had treated him like a person when almost everyone else on the station just saw him as a slave. He couldn't deny he had come to love them as sisters. And he could only feel shame at having failed to keep his promise to them. He slowly pulled out a syringe, and slowly bought it to Liara's neck. He knew she wouldn't awaken from the jab, a mild sedative in her evening wine had seen to that. Just an inch from her skin, the entity spoke up, 'are you sure it will work? After all I would trust a monster to make a cure, hahaha.' Reaper cringed at the insult, he had tested this, he knew this would work, he never would have even considered giving it to Liara if he wasn't one hundred percent sure. He quickly administered the bio-weapon antidote to her before the entity could say anything else. He looked at her peaceful face, 'I know you'll never forgive me for what happens, but the Galaxy is going to need people like the two of you.'

000

Location: Citadel, Apollo Café

Reaper stepped back into the main dining area, having just given Atheyta the antidote. He glanced at the sleeping form of Wrex, head planted on the counter, he produced a bottle of ryncol and placed it in the Krogan's hand, "have that on me old man."

000

Location: Citadel, Presidium financial district, Consort's Chambers

Reaper took several cautious steps into the room, and stopped dead. Standing there in her night robe, looking out of the massive glass window was Sha'ira. The Asari matriarch, calmly glanced over her shoulder, "it is nice to see you again Jonathan, although would you prefer it if I were to use the name much of the Galaxy has taken to calling you. Reaper." Reaper didn't respond, he only looked at the ground uncomfortably. "I was hoping… I was hoping you'd be asleep," he said as he placed another syringe on a nearby table, "I've brought you something…..something you're going to need." Sha'ira continue to stare out of the window, "and for what reason do I need that."

Reaper stared down at the floor again, "I'm sorry, I've failed to keep the promise I made," he said. "Is it me you need to apologise to Jonathan, I was not one you made a promise too?" she responded, there wasn't anything accusing in her tone, although John probably would have preferred it if there were. "I have underestimated what would be required to burn away the evil of this Galaxy," he stated, full of regret. She still refused to meet his gaze, "you believe this is the path you need to take," she stated, Reaper thought it sounded like her voice was beginning to strain. "I believe it is the only path I can take," he responded. Sha'ira was silent, after what felt like an age she finally spoke, "then you must follow your path," she said, barely above a whisper. "I can provide you more antidotes if there are others you want to save," he said, but to him the words sounded pathetic. He turned to leave, but called out to her one last time, "I don't know what hopes you had for me. I'm sorry a failed you…just like a failed everyone else," and with that he left.

As the door shut, two teardrops fell from Sha'ira's eyes, "is our fate sealed then? No matter the number or size of the pebbles that are thrown into the stream, can the course not be changed?" she asked herself rhetorically.

000

Location: Shepard Farmstead, Mindoir

Time: 1200

Date: 16th February 2184

Reaper once again found himself in a bedroom, he looked at the sleeping form of Abbie. She was the last one, he had already visited each of his other siblings. He couldn't really explain why he wanted to do this; in the end he had reasoned that he wanted to see them one last time. After the events he had set in motion come to pass, he knew he'd never be able to face any of his family again. He wished he could have also visited Liz and Ashley, but infiltrating a Turian ship was beyond even him.

He made to brush a lock of Abbie's hair out of her face, but a rasping voice chose that moment to speak up, 'careful Jonathan, you don't want to infect her with the monster, do you? Maybe you already have hahahaha.' John immediately pulled is hand away, he gave one last look at his youngest sister. 'You may call me a monster for what I'm about to do, and you'd be right. But I do it so you and the others can live in a better Galaxy. A Galaxy that will also be better without me.'

He made his way of the house and began to walk back towards the shuttle hidden somewhere in the fields. He failed to see the form of Hannah Shepard standing in the doorway, watching him with tears streaming down her face.

[BGM End]

000

Location: Citadel, Apollo Café

Time: 2000

Date: 2nd March 2184

Liara gave a frustrated sigh as she finished downing her glass of wine. She had come to visit her father and talk about her current problems, only to find not only were Wrex and Tali there, but Anto as well. The Batarian had become a regular ever since they'd started their relationship. "What's got you down?" Atheyta asked, "mother called me again today, she tried to convince me once again that it will be safer for me if I stay with her on Thessia for the time being," Liara responded, unimpressed. Everyone else began chuckling, Wrex even burst out laughing. "Has your mother forgotten what happened to the Bastion?" Peggy asked rhetorically, "yeah she can't seriously think Thessia is any safer than anywhere else right now," Atheyta added in. Seeing that Liara wasn't joining in on the laughter, Tali asked her, "you look like you've got something else on your mind Liara?" Liara looked at her incredulously, "oh do I? Goddess, I wonder why that could be? It's not like we have a lot of things to worry about," she ranted, mildly.

Anto chose that moment to step behind her and began to massage her shoulders, causing her to sign in mild relief, "if you're feeling stressed out Liara, why not get it off your chest," he said. "All right, well for one thing, slaveowners are being murdered at unprecedented rates, oh, and minor detail, my boyfriend used to be the captain of a slaver ship," she let out, everyone became silent at that. Anto crouched down, eye level with her, "I promise nothing is going to happen to me Liara," he said, reassuringly. "I can't help but worry Anto, every day more and more are killed with no end in sight."

"It's not just that though, is it?" Tali said, staring at her glass, Liara didn't respond, "I'm worried about John as well Liara," Tali finished, "I know you are," Liara said. "Should I be jealous?" Anto chuckled, "what the hell are you worried about him for?" Wrex asked, he then gave a small laugh "he's out there killing slavers, he's pretty much living his dream." Atheyta began to chuckle as well, "come on kiddo, you've seen him all over the news, you know he's doing fine."

"I'm not sure he is father," Liara said as she looked at the ground, solemnly. The others all looked at her, questioningly. Seeing the looks Liara continued, "after Reaper's attack on the O.S.I, I was called in to the hospital to help treat the injured. While I was there, I was able to speak with Elizabeth." "Keelah I still can't believe she tried to fight him," Tali exclaimed, "girls got a quad, just like her brother," Wrex added. "Yes, I was able to speak with her, while treating her injuries. I learned that her three sisters, Jennifer, Molly and Abigail were kidnapped, seemingly in retaliation to John's actions at Elysium." Tali let out a shocked gasp, the others seemed to be stunned into silence as well, "Pillars, he killed Sakcakan, of course his father wouldn't accept that," Anto said. "It's all right, all three of them were rescued…..by Reaper apparently," Liara explained quickly. "You really got to wonder why the Council thinks, humans are gonna side with them over him," Atheyta muttered. "Even though they were saved this time, John has upset a lot of people with his actions, and I….I can't help but worry for him and his family," Liara said.

Atheyta gently grasped Liara's chin and pulled her head up, "Liara, you've got to remember that Shepard's fought against some of the worst things the Galaxy can throw at him, and come out on top. So, you don't need to send yourself to an early grave worrying about him," the matriarch said, in an unusually sage -like tone. Liara pondered those words before nodding, "I suppose you're right." Atheyta then smiled, "you know what you need kiddo, a vacation," she said, Liara looked at her, surprised. "A vacation? But….but I don't have the credits to…" she stuttered. "Let's call your mother, I'm sure she'll be happy to give it to you as a present," Atheyta cut her off, "you know what? Let's get two tickets, for you and Tali." Tali began to stutter as well. "I think that's a wonderful idea," Peggy said, "eh, girls deserve it," Wrex added, "don't have too much fun without me," Anto remarked. "And I know the perfect place, Kininra." Atheyta continued, "place has great beach resorts, won't discriminate," she nodded to Tali, "they also don't allow guests who own slaves, so nothing to upset you." Liara and Tali both looked at each other, still stunned, "you're not going to let us refuse, are you?" Liara asked rhetorically.

000

Location: Torfan

Time: 2100

Date: 2nd March 2184

The figure responsible for uniting the Terminus groups sat in front of his desk, communicating with someone. The identity of the recipient was unknown, due to the fact he was only communicating by audio. "We were supposed to have access to that planet by now. What's more, our allies are starting to tire of the constant interference from Cerberus. They said, if I want this relationship to continue, I need to guarantee they won't have to fight those armoured humans," the figure explained.

"If the human colonies are proving not to be the easy targets you want…..then find easier targets," the voice replied.

The figure was confused, "what easier targets?" the figure asked. The voice sighed in content, "do I truly need to explain everything to you? You have the required information necessary to launch successful raids," the voice explained, scathingly.

The figure tensed at the insult, "how will attacking those worlds aid us?" he asked.

The voice grunted, seemingly exhausted at having to deal with an individual of such limited intelligence, "after the attacks they will demand an explanation. Set up a face-to-face meeting with them and choose that world as the meeting ground. He will be able to ensure you can reach there unobstructed."

Although still obscured by shadow, the figure smiled, "yes, then we can seize our true objective," the figure frowned again, "wait, if we proceed like this, we won't have the men to secure the site."

"The use of the Terminus groups will soon be negligible. I believe our new associates can assist with our goal," the voice responded.

The door behind him opened and the figure spun round and his eyes widened in surprise. In the doorway three silhouettes could be seen, they had bowed-back legs, three fingered hands, and in place of their faces, only an illuminating light could be seen.

000

Location: THS Vallum

Time: 1800

Date: 9th March 2184

Lieutenant Elizabeth Shepard sat in the bunk area; she threw a data pad onto her bed, growled in frustration. "You okay Liz?" She looked up to see Ashley leaning against the wall. Liz sighed, "had to break up another fight, another paranoid Turian soldier thinking us humans are gonna sell them out to Cerberus on the next mission," Liz said. Ash folded her arms, "yeah tempers are running high, especially after the Council's little press conference," she snorted, "selling out the hinge heads, why would we ever want to do that?" Ashley remarked sarcastically. "I know right," a joking voice cut in and they both looked up to see Garrus coming into to the room, "I mean, it's not like we give you plenty of reasons to want to join up with Cerberus?" he continued. Liz stood up as both she and Ashley saluted him, he simply waved his hand, "there's no need for that right now," both of the woman relaxed. "Sir you do know….we would never betray those we fought side-by-side with," Liz said. Garrus nodded, "I know that, and so does Saren. Anyway, I came to tell you that he's really chewing out Terticus for what he said, and Yarnell hasn't suffered any serious injury." Both of them sighed in relief upon hearing about their fellow human.

Garrus turned to Liz again, "I'm sorry Liz, Saren tried his best, but he wasn't able to get you leave to attend your brother's promotion ceremony," he said regretfully. Liz looked crestfallen and stared at the floor, "it's okay Sir, I'm not sure I would have gone," she said. "Oh, come on Liz…." Ashley tried to say, "our sisters were kidnapped Ash, they almost died. And not only did he not do anything to help save them, he hasn't been to see them since they've been rescued. How am I supposed to feel about that?" Ash didn't know how to respond.

"You said they were kidnapped to punish your brother," Garrus said, gently, "maybe he feels ashamed. Maybe he feels that it was all his fault, and that's why he can't face you." Liz pondered Garrus' words. "I guess you are also feeling pretty conflicted about…..who rescued your sisters," the Turian theorised. Liz looked at him, she was extremely thankful that both he and Saren had kept the identity of her sisters' rescuer secret, she knew there were those in the hierarchy who would have wanted her sisters interrogated for what they knew about him. "He did save them, for that…..for that I am extremely grateful, but back on the Citadel. I could hear the splintering bones, the burning corpses and his voice," Liz said, her voice trembling, "I don't know what he is, but in that moment, he was just a monster."

000

Location: Arcturus Station

Time: 1300

Date: 10th March 2184

John stood at attention before Admiral Hackett himself, "Johnathan Shepard, for your numerous courageous actions in service of the defence of humanity, I am honored to infer upon you both the prestigious designation of N7 and the rank of lieutenant," he said as he handed captain Anderson Shepard's new shoulder boards. Anderson proceeded to attach them to Jonathan's dress blue uniform. "Continue to make us proud soldier," the Admiral said as he saluted him, prompting everyone else present to do the same. Shepard returned the salute, "thank you sir, I will."

John began to mingle with some of the guests and he soon found a familiar face, "great job kid," John smiled as he shook hands with his uncle, General Hector Shepard. His father's older brother, had elected to stay in the Alliance military, even after it was transformed into the Alliance auxiliaries under the Hierarchy. The Hierarchy had made several attempts to have him removed, thankfully they had been unsuccessful. Hector leaned in closer and whispered in his nephew's ear, "I really think you should join 'Hell's guard dogs' John, they have some real bite now. There is word that a massive offence will soon take place, you could be part of it." 'I'm already much more than 'part' of it uncle' John mused before responding, "I really appreciate the offer uncle, but I think I've made too much of a public spectacle of myself to be of much help to them." Hector's eyebrows furrowed slightly, then he nodded in understanding, "I get it, take care of yourself John."

John saw that his father was watching the exchange, with a somewhat solemn look on his face and went over to speak with him. "Hey dad," John said, James smiled at his son before pulling him into an embrace, "congratulations Jonathan." John's quickly scanned the nearby crowd, "could mum not make it?" he asked. His father looked away slightly uncomfortably, "I'm afraid she was rather reluctant to leave your younger siblings unsupervised." Despite giving a valid reason, John got the impression that wasn't the only one, 'maybe it's like with Liz…..maybe she just doesn't want to see me,' he wondered, looking again he could see something apprehensive in his father's posture. John realised that he may not get another opportunity to ask his parents this question, so whatever their response, he needed to know, "dad, are you and mum….. are you proud of me? Of what I've done since I enlisted?" His father looked him in the eye, "you've protected human colonies, saved countless people, me and your mother couldn't be prouder of you for that. Truthfully, I see a lot of myself, during my earlier years in the Alliance," James explained. "Then what's…what's wrong?" John asked, his father looked at the ground as he remembered how the fighting had changed him, a change he couldn't help but see in his eldest son.

000

(flashback)

A much younger General James Shepard stood before his victorious troops, his armour covered in blue and orange blood. They had just taken a large Batarian military fortress on Torfan, hundreds of captured enemy soldiers were currently under guard. James couldn't find it in himself to join in his men's celebrations, he had seen the effect of the various raids that had been launched against humanity from this very base, he'd seen helpless communities massacred or abducted. He also looked at the bodies of his own soldiers that had given their lives in this attack, due to his own efforts their own casualties had been nothing to the enemies, but lives had still been lost. He glanced over at the nearby medical tent where Colonel Zaeed Massani, was currently being attended by medics trying to save his life, unfortunately the Turian responsible had managed to flee. He also thought back to several previous battles he'd witnessed, and what the Turians had done to the surrendered soldiers, it caused him to grit his teeth, and his entire body began to tremble with rage. It was then he decided he would show these alien invaders what formidable enemies' humanity could be.

He walked over to the highest ranking Turian there, a major. James had to have it confirmed, but he recognised this Turian. "I remember you," he stated coldly, "you were on Tiptree that day." The Turian began to fidget, "I was… I had my orders," he responded, James's rage grew to unprecedented levels with that feeble excuse. Without saying another word, he drew his pistol and shot him in the head. Everyone present, prisoners and soldiers, looked slightly shocked. The General turned to address his subordinates, "Every man here knows what these animals are capable of, what they are responsible for. So, I say, let's show them what it's like to be on the other end of the barrel!" he yelled, the other human soldiers began to roar in agreement, and soon opened fire on the prisoners as well. Some tried to beg for their lives, others cursed, some even tried to run, but in the end they're fate was the same.

Another soldier ran up to the General, "sir, I found something I think you should see." He followed the soldier through the hallways of the base, eventually heading down to the lower levels. There he saw thousands of Batarians, most of them crammed in pens. He walked over to the nearest one, "what do we do with them sir?" the escorting soldier asked. But the General wasn't listening, the minute he had seen those four-eyed faces, his mind had glazed over with flashbacks of horrific atrocities committed by Batarians. "I believe I made our course of action explicitly clear soldier. Kill every one of these alien scum!" He roared and opened fire into the room. The Batarians inside began to scream, but they were drowned out by the additional gunfire as the other soldiers proceeded to cut down the other Batarians. James continued his rampage, moving from room to room killing everything with four eyes he saw.

After several hours the screaming died down, James took several ragged breaths and that's when he began to notice several things. He noticed that none of the Batarians had been wearing combat armour, in fact were barely wearing anything more than rags. That's when he noticed, that none of the Batarians looked fit for military service, or any kind of physical activity for that matter, they were horribly malnourished. He also realised, that some of them looked extremely small…almost child size.

The horrific realisation began to dawn on James, his entire body began to tremble and then he fell to his knees, "oh God, what…what did I do?"

(flashback end)

000

He had learned afterwards that Torfan was more than a military base to the Batarians, it had been a mining facility. And of course, that required a massive slave workforce. he expected to face a court martial, he had wanted it, but instead the Alliance had covered up the massacre.

He had tried to resign, but Alliance command had refused, he was too valuable a leader. He had kept fighting, but it was obvious to all that he wasn't the same, soon after that he had met a woman with a reputation rivalling his own, who struggled with constantly being praised as a hero when so many of her comrades had died on Elysium. A few years later, the Alliance surrendered. He and Hannah married and had gone to Mindoir to start their own family and a less violent life.

James Shepard was brought out of his reminiscing and looked back at his son, and he remembered his son's final actions on Elysium and the ruthless acts that had followed his victories since then. "Because…..because I'm seeing too much of myself," the man stated, before walking away.

John stared at his father's back, a look of frustration on his face. He wanted to tell his father the truth, that he hadn't failed as a parent, that this was his choice, but he knew he couldn't. "Your father deserves more respect than you give him boy," a gruff voice spoke. John turned to see a middle-aged man, with the right side of his face heavily scarred, and an artificial eye, with which he was currently giving John a hard stare. "I know I sure as hell, ain't gonna win any goddamn father of the year awards," he said, in a thick Cockney accent, "but I still know that any decent parent wants to do right by their kids, so don't whine at him, just because he wants to stop you from making the mistakes he did." he glared harder at John. He knew who this man was, former Major General Zaeed Massani, a man who had served alongside both his parents. Additionally, despite being forced to retire from military service due to the Hierarchy's influence, Zaeed had established an impressive reputation as a freelancing mercenary in the Terminus Systems. What was less known was that he took many jobs on behalf of Cerberus, in truth his actions had helped humanity established a sizeable foothold in that lawless area of space long before John had joined up with them. He had tried to establish a mercenary group for that purpose, but that plan had been brought crashing down due to betrayal.

Johns sighed slightly, Zaeed's remark had been made because he thought John's frustration lay with his father not with himself. "I respect my father more than any man alive Massani," John stated through gritted teeth, "my father hasn't failed me," he walked past the older man, "I failed him…. I failed every member of my family," he mumbled the last part. Zaeed turned to look at John, his eyes narrowing, "they don't think that about you either you damn punk," he muttered.

000

Several hours later, John had been able to escape the ceremony and was celebrating his promotion with Kaidan, Vega and Jacob in one of the station's bars. "So now that you're an officer loco, I guess it means you will be relaxing behind a desk from now on, and leaving the real work to us right?" James joked. "In your dreams Vega, you'll have to try harder than that to stop me from stealing all the badass moments," John responded. "In that case, can you stay at the back next time we're in a firefight, give us a chance to get kills?" Jacob said jokingly, taking another sip of his drink. "Hey it's not my fault, that all the bad guys are dead before you can fire," John shot back. The three other men looked at each other with expressions of false shock, "actually, yes, it is," Kaidan remarked, "that's why N training was so enjoyable for us, you weren't there, so we were able to show our stuff." All four of them burst out laughing at that, "to Lt Jonathan Shepard," Kaidan said, making a toast, Jacob and James quickly following suit. John smiled, this was nice, relaxing with his friends, forgetting their troubles for a moment, his expression then became slightly sad as he wondered if he'd ever be able to feel this way again after the bio-weapons were released. Kaidan noticed his friends slightly sullen expression, "you okay John?" he asked, John quickly put a smile back on his face, "yeah, I'm fine Kaidan," he said, Kaidan looked at his friends slightly unconvinced, he hadn't failed to notice the change in John's demeanour, he had become increasingly colder and more distant, before he could push his friend further, something else drew their attention.

The vid-screen in the bar displaying ANN, suddenly changed to an Asari reporting for the Citadel news network. "We apologise for interrupting this broadcast, but we have just received truly shocking news," the reporter stated in a shocked tone, "Citadel space has recently suffered the worst slaver attack in centuries." John and Kaidan shot to their feet, there had been a slaver attack and they hadn't known about it, how had it happened? "It is unknown how the slavers were able to evade the Citadel's defence, but the end result is horrifying," the reporter continued, "The targeted worlds had no warning and by the time reinforcements arrived very little remained of the colonies. Hundreds have been confirmed dead, while tens of thousands are missing. We do not yet have a list of confirmed casualties, but we have been permitted to release the names of the colonies that were attacked." John started to move somewhere more private so he could contact Cerberus, but the reporters next words made him stop dead. "The Turian colonies: Actia, Bulnus, Varsis and Regidos," John turned to stare back at the screen, 'it wasn't…..it wasn't human colonies that were attacked?' he struggled to believe it. "The Salarian colonies: Zazore, Valoni and Jihee. And the Asari colonies Daari, Mujah, T'raotari, Xaria and Kininra. Our hearts go out to the families of the victims of this tragedy."