AN: Season 6 both broke and healed my heart. I think the ending was perfect, aside from the part where Lucifer doesn't get to see his own child grow up and Deckerstar has to spend a lifetime on earth apart. That is just unnecessarily painful. After 5 seasons of Lucifer suffering under the absence of his own father, they go ahead and do the same thing to his daughter? I get that it's for the greater good or something, but honestly it just feels wrong to me. Anyway, I have a lot of feelings about season 6 and this is just me trying to process it all...
It was almost midnight, when Lieutenant Chloe Decker could finally call it a day.
She had only recently been promoted and of course Ella had made sure that they were going to celebrate that with all their friends. And as grateful as she was for the support of her friends, she was about 7 months pregnant with a half angel by now, so everything was a little bit harder for her these days.
So, she wasn't entirely unhappy, when her friends finally said their goodbyes for the night and she was left alone with Trixie again. The new lieutenant brought her daughter to bed and with one look at the mess that was her kitchen and living room, she decided to leave the aftermath of the party for her to clean up tomorrow.
Stifling a yawn, she prepped herself for bed; one of her hands almost always resting on her ever-growing baby bump, as she hummed the melody of 'Heart and Soul' to her daughter, which she did almost every night. Returning to her bedroom, now in her PJs, she switched on the lights only to find a very familiar angel sitting on her bed.
"Lucifer?" she asked and the corners of her lips curled upwards.
"Why do you sound so surprised, darling?" he replied, as his signature grin played around his lips, and he got up to greet her properly.
The two lovers met halfway in the middle of the room, until merely their daughter growing inside Chloe was filling the space between them. Her hands went to cup his face, as her eyes searched for his and for a few moments it almost seemed like she was wondering whether he was really here right now or whether she had already fallen asleep and was simply dreaming.
"You have only been here a few days ago. I didn't think I would see you again for at least another week," she explained under her breath. Ever since he had officially left and taken over his new job as the healer of hell, the two of them had been sneaking around (as they weren't able to stay away from each other for that long) and had somehow been managing to see each other at least every few weeks.
"Oh, I wouldn't miss your promotion for anything," Lucifer replied, softly caressing her cheek with his hand, "My clever detective… or lieutenant now, I suppose. I am so proud of you, Chloe."
Chloe could feel the warmth creeping up her cheeks and chuckled softly, momentarily breaking their eye contact. "Thank you," she whispered and finally locked her lips with his for a brief, but nonetheless very gentle and loving kiss.
He then intertwined his hand with hers and pulled her towards the bed, where he sat down and patted on the space beside him, encouraging her to take her place next to him. Without hesitation, she did.
"So how was your week? Or the last few months… since time works differently down there, right?" she asked and looked up at him.
"Quite interesting I must say. I think I might have to send my apologies to the doctor, because I never thought therapy could be so strenuous on the therapist," he answered, shaking his head a little in laughter, "But enough about me, darling, I want to hear about you. How does it feel to be the new lieutenant?"
"It's a lot of work, that's for sure. But I am excited mostly. We finally have a solid base to really be able to change the system, so that's good." Chloe replied with that glimmer of hope in her eyes she always had, when they got a new clue – the look he missed so much. And yet he was glad to see that it had returned. "But… I really miss working with you,"
If someone had told her five years ago that she would not only admit that she actually loved (working with) Lucifer Morningstar, but that she would also be carrying his baby, she would have laughed them out of court.
"I do too," he admitted silently, pressing a soft kiss on her hands. Both of them had gotten so used to seeing each other every day that it always felt like a small part of them was missing wherever they went on their own. Even if they were always carrying each other with them in their hearts.
"How's little Rory doing inside of you?" he asked then, trying for a happier topic.
"Oh, she is quite active. She already has the ability to drive me nuts like her dad," she told him with a chuckle, before pulling up her t-shirt and placing his palms on her bare baby bump, "Wait, wait, maybe you can feel it… here,"
"Oh," was the only sound he could make, as he felt the little kick against her stomach wall under his palms. It was unlike anything he had experienced before, but it made his heart double in size. "There it is again!" he exclaimed excitedly, "And again!"
"Shh," she reminded him, "Trixie is downstairs,"
"Right," he replied, but continued making sounds of amazement, every time he felt his unborn daughter so close to him. Lucifer then leaned down and began to leave a trail of feather light kisses on her baby bump, as his big, warm hands were still resting on her waist.
With her hands on his cheeks, she watched the scene that was unfolding before her own eyes and somehow, it managed to heal and break her heart at the same time. It filled her chest with an unbelievable warmth to see Lucifer so in love with the child they had created together. But knowing that he wouldn't be able to actually tell her that for another 40 years or so (which were millions of years to him down in hell) was gut-wrenching unlike anything she had ever felt before. Clamping her hand over her mouth, she tried to choke back the sob, as a few silent tears escaped her eyes. Lucifer immediately noticed, as he looked up and carefully brushed it away with his thumb.
"It's just the hormones… they are making me emotional," Chloe explained with a nod, even if they both knew that wasn't the entire truth. She forced a small smile, her eyes still glassy, but she was determined not to let another tear roll down her cheek.
It were moments like this between them, where the nagging doubt came back with a force that was almost strong enough to make him break the promise he had given to Rory. He had always been a devil of his word, but in minutes like these he wasn't sure whether he should or could keep the promise to stay away and not meddle with the time loop. After all this was his daughter. And even if it was all going to work out at some point in the future, his own daughter was still going to spend years upon years hating him for doing the one thing that he had never wanted to do to her nor to her mother. The same thing his father had done to him.
"Maybe I should stop coming… it's only making things harder, isn't it?"
"What?" she choked out, "No, no Lucifer that's not what I want. Is that what you want?"
"No, of course not." He replied defiantly, because it was the last thing he wanted. "I just… think that once she is actually born it's going to be a lot harder for us to sneak around behind her back… and for me to stay away, when I am so close to her,"
Chloe nodded understandingly, realizing once again the magnitude of his sacrifice. "As much as I love you for doing this… and believe that it's the right thing to do… I hate that we all are going to suffer because of it," she said slowly, resting her head on his shoulder.
"I do too," he whispered.
And for a while they just sat there like that, mostly in silence, until Chloe's snoring signalized him that she must have fallen asleep. He smiled softly at the memories that flickered over his inner eye at the familiar sound, before he carefully picked her up and laid her down on the bed. Then, he pressed a last kiss against her stomach, before tucking his favorite ladies in.
"Good night Chloe," he spoke quietly, "Good night Rory."
And as he stood there, watching her sleep peacefully like he had so many times in the few months they actually got to spend together, he promised himself another thing. The time loop wasn't going to keep him from visiting the love of his life and from watching his daughter grow up… even if it were just from afar. He was going to buy birthday presents (that Chloe would give her of course) and he was going to be there for all the major events. He knew that it was going to be a little bit like his very own hell loop and that it would make things a thousand times more painful for him, as he already felt his heart break a little every time he had to say goodbye again. But ultimately, not seeing them and not being there was going to hurt a whole lot more. So, he was always going to look after them.
"I love you both so much," he promised and softly caressed her cheek, "Until next time, my loves."