Thomas was overwhelmed. He'd been trying so hard to take a break and relax to take care of himself whenever he reached a milestone in his work. Finish writing a script? Go out and treat yourself to something at Starbucks. Finish filming an episode? Play video games for a few hours. Finish editing? Order take-out from your favorite restaurant.

Thomas still felt weird for rewarding himself for just doing his job, but Janus was insistent that this kind of thing was just a small form of self-care that could make a world of difference, and make it easier to motivate himself to continue to do what he should do.

Thomas had just had a long day of filming, so he was supposed to give himself the rest of the day off and relax, but he couldn't. Not when one of his sides so clearly needed him. Remus needed attention, and it wasn't the kind of thing that Thomas could push aside and avoid thinking about until he was in a better state of mind. Regardless of how inconvenient the timing was, Remus was having an allergic reaction now.

Thomas' self-care could wait a little longer. He wasn't in a state of emergency quite yet. He may be stressed after having a long day, and his concern and anxiety about Remus was just making that stress worse, but it wasn't like he was about to have a breakdown.

Thomas took a deep breath and put a protective arm around Remus, who, despite his unconscious state, was clinging tightly to him. Remus' hands felt clammy and almost slimy, similar to the feeling that his tentacles had. Thomas had thought that Janus was the only one who had animalistic aspects, but it seemed that Remus did too. Thomas wondered if the others had animal traits when they were in their human forms.

There was a quiet knock on the door. Thomas looked up to see Janus standing there. "How is he?"

"Uh, well, he's having a hard time breathing." Thomas said. "And I think he's scared of me."

Janus sighed and entered the room. "He's not afraid of you, Thomas. Remus is just afraid of what you think of him."

Thomas deflated and used the wet towel to try to soothe Remus' red and swollen skin. "You know, that doesn't make me feel much better." He didn't know if this was actually doing any good, but he wanted to at least feel like he was doing something productive.

Janus frowned and climbed onto the bed next to them. He didn't hesitate for a moment to curl up close to Remus. "I can take care of him from here. You can start your self-care routine.

"I don't mind him being here." Thomas said. Janus gave him an unimpressed look.

"We've talked about this, Thomas." Janus said. "You not minding something is not a good enough reason to do it."

"I know, I know." Thomas sighed. "I'm keeping that in mind, but I really do think that Remus needs me more than I need to take care of myself right now." Remus' reaction to Thomas right now was enough to tell him that much. Thomas knew that if he left Remus in Janus' care, then the side might take that as confirmation that Thomas only wanted to see him if he wasn't himself, and that just wasn't fair, even if it was a little bit true.

Thomas hated this. Remus made him so uncomfortable, and he had long-since decided to not have toxic people in his life, but Remus wasn't some random homophobic hater on the internet, he was a part of him. That was actually a big reason why Thomas felt so icky about Remus. He had no problem with people who were more crude and suggestive, but he felt like he personally wasn't allowed to be like that. Seeing Remus was a very loud reminder that at least a part of him had an appreciation for dark and inappropriate humor.

"How do you do it?" Thomas asked quietly. "How do you deal with Remus?" He felt guilty for asking this question in the first place, but he genuinely wanted an answer. Thomas wanted to accept all of his sides, as denial really didn't do him any good, but it was so hard to look at Remus and think 'you know, this guy really isn't that bad'.

Janus sighed. "Unfortunately, with a lot of compromise that neither of us are completely satisfied with. I have to allow Remus to create, because that's just who he is, and I won't stifle his creativity, no matter how gross he is. At the same time though, I have to enforce guidelines and rules for my own sanity, and for Remus' safety."

"How often does Remus end up hurting himself?" Thomas asked, though he was terrified of the answer.

"Far too often." Janus said. "Don't misunderstand him, Remus doesn't mean to hurt himself, and he's certainly not suicidal, he's just impulsive. I don't think that Remus knows how to restrain himself. That's what I'm there for, to provide impulse control for him, but I can't exactly watch him at all times."

Thomas frowned slightly. "Wait a second, can Remus not help himself? I thought that he acted like this because he wanted to."

"He does want to." Janus said. "But that doesn't mean that it's completely by choice. Remus is impulsive, blunt, and unrepentently honest. He can try to hold himself back, if he really wants to, but I think you know how much it can hurt to act like somebody you're not."

Thomas swallowed thickly, remembering the days when he'd still been in the closet. When he'd refused to admit to himself that he liked guys. It had been painful, and stressful, and made him feel like absolute garbage personified. Thomas knew that the situation wasn't exactly the same, but it was the same basic concept. He was still asking Remus to change a fundamental part of who he was, just because Thomas wasn't comfortable with it.

"When we were younger I used to try to encourage Remus to hide who he was." Janus said, regret in his tone. "I told him that it was better for him to pretend to be normal so he could be accepted by the others." Janus chuckled slightly. "I've never been so glad that Remus completely disregarded my advice. I'd rather he be a menace that is completely happy with who he is, than for him to be a menace that hates himself for it."

Thomas looked at Remus. "How much does it bother him that the others don't like him?"

"It depends on the day." Janus said. "And the side. Patton, for example, Remus couldn't care less about what he thinks of him. Remus loves getting under Patton's skin. Remus finds him nearly as unbearable as Patton finds him. Remus just hates it when Patton tries to go from ignoring him to forcibly repressing him."

"That doesn't sound like fun." Thomas said. He already knew, thanks to Logan, that Remus would act out more if somebody tried to push him down.

"Depending on how hard Patton tries, it can be completely torturous for Remus." Janus said. Thomas had no idea what he was talking about. Was he saying that Remus could get hurt if the others repressed him too much? That seemed like something that Thomas should know about. He wanted to ask for more details, but Janus just continued talking.

"Remus likes to play with Virgil." Janus said. "He just has a really hard time knowing when Virgil's participating in playful banter, and when Virgil is genuinely bothered by what he's saying. Remus used to despise Logan, thought he was boring, but now that Logan is one of the few sides that is willing to acknowledge him at all, he's now one of Remus' favorites."

"Remus just wants attention." Thomas said. "Good or bad."

"For the most part, yes." Janus said. "The one exception is Roman. Remus wants his brother to like him. That's why he knocked Roman out when he introduced himself."

"How does knocking somebody out get them to like you?" Thomas asked. It made absolutely no sense.

"Oh, it doesn't." Janus said. "What it did, however, was keep Roman from witnessing everything Remus did to try to get your attention. As far as Remus was concerned, if Roman didn't know the specifics of what he did and said then he couldn't find any more excuses to hate him more than he already does."

"That...is that supposed to make sense?" Thomas frowned. Janus gave him a very small smile.

"Not really." Janus said. "But that's how Remus' mind works."

"Is that why Remus whispered that Bubba Gump Shrimp thing to Roman?" Thomas asked. "I didn't think that Remus was capable of whispering anything. I thought he just screamed it until somebody started paying attention."

"Yes, that's why." Janus said. "It took me years to teach Remus how to be even somewhat decent at the art of subtlety. He doesn't like doing it, but so far it's the only way he's been able to slip his ideas past Patton's radar, by keeping the others unaware that they're his ideas at all."

"Well, we'll have to change that." Thomas said. "I already told Remus that I would include one of his suggestions in the anniversary video."

Janus raised an eyebrow at him. "You're not lying."

"Of course I'm not." Thomas was just a little bit offended that Janus would assume he was lying about something like this, but considering how much the dark sides had been pushed to the side he figured that the distrust was more than fair.

"I might just need your help a little." Thomas admitted. He wanted to get to know Remus a little better, but he would be lying if he said he wasn't worried about it. Remus made him nervous, but that wasn't necessarily his fault.

"I'll help." Janus said. "But you shouldn't force yourself to do something just because you feel obligated to. Not only is it very bad for your mental health, but Remus will know that you don't really mean it, and that will do much more harm than good."

"I don't think that's why I'm doing it." Thomas said slowly. When did things become so complicated? Thomas had never used to question every decision he made. He knew that this was ultimately for the best, but he didn't like second guessing everything. Was he actually doing something because he wanted to, or was he doing it because he felt that he had to? Did he actually want to help people, or did he just like to feel like he was a good person?

Remus whimpered and nuzzled closer to Thomas. He really was very clingy. Thomas thought that Remus might just give Patton a run for his money for being the most physically affectionate side. Patton was definitely a hugger, but he also at least tried to respect personal boundaries if he thought that someone wanted some space. Remus had no such qualms. If he wanted to be held, Thomas was sure he would figure out how to be held whether the other person wanted to do it or not.

Janus chuckled and took Remus' arms. He pulled him to lean against him instead, freeing Thomas. "He takes some getting used to. It takes a lot of practice, and a fair amount of demanding space when you need it before you lose your patience and say something to scare him off."

Remus groaned and took in a deep, raspy breath as he let out a painful sounding cough. "Ow."

Janus sat Remus up. "You are so lucky that you're just a figment of Thomas' Imagination."

Remus pouted and buried his face against Janus' chest, though he quickly had to pull back to be able to breathe better. His throat and tongue were still swollen but it had come down just enough that he wasn't choking on air nearly as much as he had just a few minutes ago.

"Don' be mean." Remus muttered. "I'm sick."

"Sick in the head, perhaps." Janus said, though there was no malevolence in his tone. "What have I told you about worrying us like that?"

Remus frowned slightly. "Us?" He turned slightly and jumped when he saw Thomas sitting there next to him. Remus tilted his head at him. "Tommy, you were worried about me?" He looked at Janus. "For realsies? No shit?"

"No shit." Janus said. "Thomas was very concerned. He's been trying to understand you better."

Remus grinned, looking very pleased with himself. "Does that mean that me and Virgie match? All we had to do to get accepted was to endanger ourselves?"

"If that was the case, you would have been accepted years ago, about five minutes after the Split." Janus said. Remus giggled. "Why can't you try to do it the way that I did? Wait until the perfect moment when Thomas' life is falling apart and everybody else is completely useless to help, and step in and save the day."

Thomas didn't know whether he was supposed to be concerned or amused about this casual discussion about the right way to manipulate the situation so they could be accepted. "Did you guys often sit down and make devious plans, or was it just the kind of thing that happened when you got bored of playing DDR?"

Remus threw his head back in a laugh that he almost hit Janus in the face. "You told him about DDR? Mr. 'I Need Everybody to Take Me Seriously'?"

"Shut up." Janus tried to growl, though it looked like he was pouting. Thomas tried to hide a smile. Had these two always been this goofy? How had he ever found them terrifying and intimidating?

"I tried to deceive him," Janus said. "But apparently Thomas has gotten too good at knowing when I'm lying. He kept pushing and poking until I told him the truth."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of." Thomas said. He liked to hear about what his sides did when they weren't with him. Not only did it help him to get to know them better, but it was nice to know that they had interests and hobbies outside of his life. They may be a part of him, but Thomas still considered them their own people. "You know, Patton wasn't even mad when I told him."

Remus' amused face fell in an instant. He looked at Thomas in betrayal. "You told Patton?"

Janus grimaced. "Now he's going to start pestering me about playing with him. He's already absolutely unbearable, trying to become my best friend or something."

"He's just being friendly." Thomas said. "Why's that so bad?"

Janus raised an eyebrow at him. "Oh, so you think that Heathers was a perfect example on how to make friends? I should be grateful that the popular kids are willing to acknowledge me, even if their so-called friendship requires that I allow them to treat my actual friend cruelly?"

"What? No!" Thomas said. "What kind of a comparison is that? Patton and the others are nothing like the Heathers."

"Maybe not, but that's not the point I was making." Janus said. "They don't like Remus, and I can guarantee that if I start getting close to Patton he'll begin to insist that Remus is corrupting me somehow, and he'll try to convince me to leave him. Virgil may have turned traitor, but I won't."

Thomas didn't really understand why all of his sides couldn't get along with each other, but he wasn't going to force it. Sometimes people just didn't get along with each other, and neither party was really at fault. Their personalities just clashed too much. He figured that as long as his sides weren't fighting or antagonizing each other, then that would have to be good enough for now.

Remus crossed his arms, looking genuinely disappointed. "Now what are we supposed to do to get back at the others for leaving us out? Doing something behind Patton's back was half the fun."

"You're creativity." Thomas said. "I'm sure you'll be able to think of something new."

Remus stared at him in shock for a moment before he beamed. Thomas couldn't remember if he had ever actually acknowledged Remus as a part of his creativity. Even if he had, the very fact that he couldn't remember was proof that he needed to do it more often. It seemed to make Remus happy.

"Yeah, I will." Remus said cheerfully. "Maybe we can sneak into their rooms and move everything around just enough that they know that something's wrong, but can't quite put their finger down on what it is."

Janus smirked wickedly. "Can you just imagine Virgil's face? He'll immediately start throwing accusations at us, even before he knows for sure that it's a problem."

"It'll be nice to see paranoia again." Remus said.

"Is it really paranoia when what you're worried about is actually happening?" Thomas asked. Janus gave him a cold look.

"I suppose you're planning on telling the others about our plan?" Janus said.

Thomas thought that it would probably be the nice thing to do, but Remus and Janus were just trying to find something to do to keep themselves occupied, and he would rathey they play mischievous pranks than plan a mutiny.

"You know, I don't think I will." Thomas said slowly, hoping that he didn't come to regret this. "Just don't take things too far, because I will step in if things get out of hand."

"Us? Take things too far? We would never." Janus put an offended hand to his chest, though his smirk made it clear that he was just lying. For Deceit, he really didn't have that good of a poker face. Though, maybe he was purposefully holding back when he lied, so he would have an easier time catching people off guard when he really wanted to.

"Oh, oh, can we start now?" Remus asked, even as he scratched his neck. Janus frowned and grabbed Remus' hand to keep him from scratching and making things worse.

"You can already barely breathe." Janus said. "We're not going to be doing anything that will get you more worked up."

"But I'm so bored." Remus whined. "Is this your way of punishing me for drinking your anti-spoiler spray?"

"This is just a natural consequence of your actions." Janus said impatiently. "When I punish you for this, you'll know it."

"Is a punishment really necessary?" Thomas asked. "Isn't the allergic reaction punishment enough?"

"For anybody else, yes." Janus said. "For Remus? Absolutely not."

Thomas didn't really think that punishments and discipline was a good way of teaching anybody anything, but Janus knew Remus better than he did. He probably knew how to deal with him, and Thomas didn't really have any right to question him.

"Well, if you're bored, we can come up with something to do." Thomas said. "I was supposed to be relaxing anyway. We can turn on a movie, or-"

"No movies." Janus said. "Watching an entire movie with Remus is far from relaxing."

"Okay, no movies." Thomas said. "What about a puzzle?"

"Jannie says I can't do puzzles." Remus said cheerfully.

"That's because you seem incapable of not eating the pieces." Janus said, sounding annoyed. Remus giggled. "Why don't we color? If Remus can create something inappropriate, then he won't feel the need to talk about it."

"Coloring, great, let's do it." Thomas said, relieved that they had found something to do. Remus cheered and summoned some paints and a large canvas. That wasn't quite what Thomas had in mind when Janus had suggested coloring.

"Hey, hey, no." Janus said sternly. "Off the bed."

"You're no fun." Remus threw his things onto the floor and then crawled off the bed. He lounged on the floor and immediately got to work bringing to life whatever was going on in that head of his. Thomas had to get up and find a coloring book and pencils for himself

It took him a few minutes to find his things, as nothing in his apartment seemed to stay where it was meant to be. By the time he returned to his room he found Remus sprawled on the floor, already covered in paint. Janus was sitting on the bed coloring with markers that bled through the paper, though he didn't seem to mind.

Janus gave Thomas a meaningful look. "Are you sure you're okay with us being here?" I can always take Remus home."

"No you can't." Remus said proudly. "I'm in the middle of my painting. I can't move until it's finished."

"Not only am I okay with you guys being here, I want you to be here." Thomas said, and he meant it. Janus and Remus weren't bad company together. Thomas would just have to avoid looking too closely at whatever Remus was painting. He thought he saw a rough depiction of a decapitated Patton, and he really didn't want to see what the end result would look like. He may be trying to give Remus and his ideas more credit, but that didn't mean that he had to look at explicit drawings of his friends.

If Janus could figure out how to encourage Remus' creativity while maintaining boundaries, then Thomas could do it too.