Note: obsessedwithstabler and I are here, bringing to you another thing we wrote. Angst ahead.
Disclaimer: SVU doesn't belong to us.
Elliot never thought he'd move back to New York.
He never meant to let ten years pass. How many times had he reached for the phone when she called him, only to let it go to voicemail because he couldn't bring himself to hear the pain in her voice?
Weeks slipped into months, which gave way to years. The longer he waited to reach out, the harder it became to pick up the phone.
Then her ceremony brought him and Kathy back to New York, only for a bombing to unsettle his world. Olivia stood by him when she had every right not to, even when he tried to push her away.
In one moment of emotion, he blurted out the words he'd wanted to say for years. He meant them and wouldn't take them back, even if he'd let them slip at the wrong time, in the wrong place.
Slowly she began to let him back in, but they never talked about that night. Olivia avoided the subject when he tried to bring it up, and he didn't blame her. For ten years he'd left her without a word. He couldn't just expect her to open up as if no time had passed.
Soon it was the day of Fin's wedding. Elliot had accepted the invitation readily. He wouldn't miss it for anything, promising Fin he would be there. When he arrived a few minutes early, he found Olivia in the small audience, a vacant seat next to her. For a moment, he lingered in the doorway before he approached her.
"Is this seat taken?"
She was wearing a deep purple dress, her hair swept up in an elaborate style. A few strands had fallen, framing her face. She gave him a small smile and and motioned for him to sit down.
Elliot returned the smile and took the seat, taking her in for a long moment. "I can't believe Fin's getting married."
"Me either. But Phoebe makes him happier than I have ever seen him."
"That's great." He nodded, still gazing fondly at her as a few more guests filed into the room.
Even with all that had happened, she was still so guarded with him. It hurt to have her best friend back and still be unable to say those most important things to him, but she couldn't. Not yet.
Before Elliot could say anything else, soft piano music began to play and the justice of peace took his place up front.
As the ceremony began, Olivia watched fin and Phoebe. The justice of peace spoke of finding love in the darkest places and she couldn't help but think of the first time she met Elliot, and the last time she saw him ten years ago.
Elliot watched and listened, too, but he couldn't stop himself from glancing over at Olivia every so often as the justice continued with his opening remarks.
"We are gathered here today to celebrate the wedding of Odafin Tutuola and Phoebe Baker…"
By the time they shared their first kiss as a married couple, Olivia had tears in her eyes. She was beyond happy for the newlyweds, but a small part of her wondered if she would ever find that for herself.
A round of applause went through the room as Fin and Phoebe kissed. They watched as the married couple made their way down the aisle, and a minute later the audience was dismissed to follow them for the reception and dance.
Olivia walked alongside Elliot down the aisle, and she didn't miss the way his arm brushed against hers.
They gathered around to watch Fin and Phoebe share their first dance. Elliot couldn't contain a grin as he watched. His smile never faded as he stole a glance at Olivia.
The next song began and Olivia was surprised when Elliot stood up. She glanced around, wondering if he was leaving already.
To her surprise (and maybe his own), he extended a hand toward her. "May I have this dance?"
She stared at him for a moment before she finally placed her hand in his and let him walk her onto the floor. "Elliot..."
"Yeah?" He met her eyes as they took their place on the floor.
She seemed to think for a minute before she shook her head. "Never mind..."
His fingers twined with hers. A moment later, his other hand rested on her waist. "Is this okay?"
"Yeah..." She stepped closer to him, closing the distance between them as they began to dance.
Relaxing, Elliot swayed back and forth, moving slowly and steadily.
Though she tried not to, she slowly relaxed into him as they danced. "We've never done this before," she quipped.
"We've never been at a wedding together before." He fell quiet for a moment. "There's a first time for everything."
"Mm hmm." The song ended but neither of them pulled away. Rather they continued to dance as the next song started. "I've missed you, Elliot.."
"I missed you, too," he admitted sincerely, looking into her eyes.
She swallowed hard, her grip tightening just a bit on him. If this was all she would get, she would take it with gratitude. She broke the gaze and rested her head lightly against his shoulder.
Elliot's arm tightened a little around her waist. This was more than he expected and his expression softened as he rested his chin against her head. Olivia shuddered and hugged him closer.
A few feet away, Cragen watched as Elliot and Olivia danced. From the day he introduced the two of them, in the back of his mind he wondered what their relationship might eventually evolve into.
Fin approached him, giving his shoulder a friendly squeeze. "Glad you could make it."
"You know I wouldn't have missed it." Cragen gave Fin a warm smile. "I'm happy for you, Fin."
"Thank you." Fin nodded gratefully and looked in Elliot and Olivia's direction. "Looks like those two are starting to make up."
"I see that. They deserve it."
Elliot suddenly spun Olivia out and she gasped, laughing for him for the first time in over a decade. The sound made him grin and he pulled her close again, his arm wrapping around her waist.
This song was faster and Olivia held tight to him as they moved around the floor. Cragen and Fin watched them, both men silently hoping for the same thing.
After a few more songs, everyone sat down for dinner. Olivia and Munch found themselves giving speeches, and Elliot couldn't keep his eyes off of Olivia as she spoke so highly of the newlyweds.
When dinner was finished, Olivia and Elliot found themselves dancing again. This time Olivia had two drinks under her belt and was more relaxed as she swayed with Elliot.
His hands rested on her waist as they danced together, Olivia leaning close to him. He felt mildly buzzed but not intoxicated and a soft smile tugged at his lips. He didn't know what this meant, but he hoped it was a step in the right direction.
Olivia's arm came up and wrapped around his neck as they swayed. "Elliot...I have to say something."
"What is it?"
She met his eyes imploringly. "When you left, it...it almost destroyed me."
His smile faltered but he gave her a small nod. He moved his hand to touch her cheek. "I'm sorry."
"If I let you in again...and you disappear again..."
"I'm not. I promise." He shook his head. "I'm staying here."
"It's not just me. I...I'm a mother now. I can't put myself through losing you again."
His eyes searched hers as he absently brushed his hand against her cheek. "I won't leave again."
She wanted so badly to believe him, but the last ten years were all too fresh in her mind. But dancing...it was a start. She returned her head to his shoulder.
Elliot's hand moved to her back and he rested his head against hers, relaxing at the warmth of her body against his chest.
After a few deep breaths, Olivia lifted her head and met his eyes again. She started to lean closer, but movement caught her eye. She knew every person at the reception, so the stranger standing a short distance away gave her pause.
Thirteen years ago, a maniac with a knife showed her that her feelings for her partner ran deeper than she ever could have imagined, or admitted. She still woke up in the dead of night with that look on Elliot's face so clear in her mind. Thirteen years of late nights, close calls, and intimacy far greater than any one night stand... He had been her best friend, the other half of her. She would have gladly given her life for his without ever thinking twice. In a second she saw a decade of looks, of stolen moments and the words I love you on the tip of her tongue far too many times.
No moment was ever quite right, no longing worth risking the friendship they had cultivated.
She opened her mouth, but the cold glint of metal sent her into action. "I'm sorry." She shoved into him, spinning their bodies so that her back was to the stranger just as gunfire brutally erupted in the cheerful evening.
In the fraction of a moment, everyone broke into action, taking cover. Elliot's heart raced as he eased out from under Olivia. He started to turn her over to check her for injuries, but the sight of blood made his stomach drop.
"Call a bus!" Elliot could make out two bullet entry points and he pressed his hands over them. "Liv!"
Two more shots were fired before Cragen and Melinda Warner knelt down beside them. Melinda shoved Elliot's hands away and began examining the entry wounds. "Elliot, keep her awake," she barked. "Don, give me your jacket."
Cragen nodded and shrugged his jacket off, giving it to Melinda.
Elliot tried to remain calm as he touched Olivia's cheek. "Liv, look at me."
Her eyes were open but glossy as she struggled to look at him. "Elliot..."
"I'm here." He willed his voice to remain steady and leaned closer to her. "Keep your eyes open and focus on me."
Her lips turned up in a weak smile. "It's okay..."
His hand found hers and he gripped it tightly. "You're going to be fine. Okay?"
She returned the squeeze weakly. "Elliot..." She suddenly gasped and sobbed as a fresh wave of pain exploded over her.
Elliot's heart clenched with panic and he tightened his grip on her hand. "I know it hurts. Just squeeze my hand…"
Her grip on his hand loosened as her breathing became more rapid. "I...I can't..."
"Liv, stay with me." Elliot's voice rose with fear as he cradled her face in his hands. "Keep your eyes open."
Fin came rushing over to them, his eyes filled with concern. "Bus is less than four minutes out," he told them, paling at the sight of the blood pooling around Olivia.
Elliot nodded shakily and smoothed his hand over Olivia's hair. "Hang in there a few more minutes. You're gonna be just fine."
Olivia nodded, her eyes losing focus as she started to relax. "It's okay," she finally murmured, her voice surprisingly clear. "Doesn't hurt..."
Elliot's heart quickened with fear. He shook his head and leaned closer to her. "Olivia, no. Just a couple more minutes. Don't close your eyes," he ordered, his voice more of a plea than a command. "Liv!"
She fumbled for his hand and grasped it tightly. "It's okay, Elliot," she soothed, even as her voice became weaker. "You're okay. That's all...that's all that matters..."
His eyes stung, but he blinked back tears and refused to believe that this was the end. He laced his fingers through hers and held her hand as tightly as he dared. "What matters is that you're going to be fine. You hear me?"
Her mouth curved up in a soft, tired smile. "I'm tired..."
Sirens wailed nearby and Elliot tried to feel relieved. "I know, but you need to try to stay awake. Just a little longer..."
Her eyes slipped shut. "Okay..."
"Liv!" Panicking, Elliot patted her cheek as an ambulance came to a stop near them. "Open your eyes."
Medics suddenly swarmed them and Melinda quickly but efficiently explained Olivia's condition as they moved her onto a backboard. She didn't make a sound as she was moved.
The silence terrified Elliot as he rushed alongside the medics. "I'm going with her."
"Sorry, sir. Only family," one medic responded firmly as Olivia was whisked to the waiting bus.
Fin practically yanked Elliot to his feet and gave him a firm push forward. "This is her husband," he snapped.
Finally the medic nodded and motioned for Elliot to follow them.
Elliot climbed into the back of the ambulance and situated himself where he'd be out of the way. He took Olivia's hand into his own and gripped it tightly. "Liv?"
She stirred as her dress was cut away, exposing the bullet holes in her back. "Elliot..."
Elliot's stomach churned at the sight of the damage but he fought to keep his voice steady. "I'm here," he assured her, smoothing his other hand over her hair. "I'm right here."
She looked so small and tired. "I'm...i..."
"There you go. Stay awake," he urged. "You're going to survive this."
Her eyes started to close again. "'m sorry..."
"Liv! Don't. Focus on me," he all but pleaded.
Using the last bit of strength she had, she brought his hand up to her lips and kissed it. Then her eyes closed and she let go of his hand.
"Liv!"
Elliot's chest constricted with anxiety when she didn't open her eyes again. The remaining two minutes to the hospital were an eternity. When they arrived, the medics rushed Olivia inside. Elliot followed until he couldn't go any further, leaving him with no choice but to wait.
Fin and Cragen arrived first, both men looking devastated. "Elliot! Is she..." Cragen spoke, but he couldn't finish the sentence.
Pale and shaky, Elliot managed a small head shake. "She... she lost consciousness, but she still had a pulse. They just took her back."
"Jesus..." Fin whipped his phone out and sent a text message. "I told Lucy she's keeping Noah tonight."
Elliot nodded, pacing nervously. "Okay..."
Cragen gently gripped Elliot's arm and looked around for the closest waiting room. "Come on, Elliot. Let's sit down."
Elliot didn't protest and let Cragen lead him to the waiting room. He took a seat and leaned forward, cradling his head in his hands.
Cragen sat down beside him, doing his best to comfort the younger man while Fin made some phone calls.
Within a half hour, most of the wedding party was in the waiting room. A few had changed, but many were still in their formal wear.
Everyone spoke quietly, but no one approached Elliot, choosing instead to give him space. Carisi and Rollins stood in a corner, speaking in soft tones.
Elliot waited in quiet impatience, trying to convince himself that Olivia was going to be alright. He couldn't lose her.
He lost track of time until a familiar voice called for him. "Daddy!" He looked up to see his oldest daughter quickly approaching him.
"Maureen?"
She set her bag down and Cragen immediately got up, letting the blond sit down beside her father. She leaned over and hugged him tightly.
Elliot sighed shakily, returning the hug. "What are you doing here?"
"Fin called me. He said Olivia had been shot. Is she okay?" She pulled back and searched his eyes.
"I don't know yet." Elliot shook his head. "She was shot twice in the back and passed out on the way here."
"God..." Maureen looked sick. "What happened? Weren't you guys just at a wedding?"
He nodded. "Yeah... someone got in and opened fire. We don't know who it was or why."
She reached out and squeezed his hand tightly. "Can I do anything?"
"Just keep me company?"
"Of course." Losing their mom had been hard on all of them, and she could only imagine what he was feeling at the prospect of losing Olivia, too. She leaned into him and rested her head on his shoulder.
Elliot felt mildly relieved but still slipped into worried silence as he waited.
As the hours passed, people came and went. Fin and Cragen stubbornly remained near Elliot, but a few people went to change into other clothing before quickly returning.
Finally a surgeon in scrubs stepped into the room. "Family of Olivia Benson?" Immediately everyone was on their feet and looking at him.
"How is she?" Elliot demanded, refusing to think the worst.
"She's alive," he started, and a collective wave of relief washed over the group. "We were able to remove one of the bullets entirely, but the second bullet fragmented upon impact."
She's alive…
Elliot nodded shakily, but the tension never left his shoulders. "How bad is the damage?"
"Alright..." he inhaled sharply and pinched the bridge of his nose. "But she'll survive?"
"She is very strong," the surgeon responded carefully. "We're going to do our best for her."
Fin stepped up behind Elliot. "Can someone sit with her before she goes back into surgery?"
"Normally I would say no, but we do try to extend certain privileges to the NYPD. One of you can sit with her."
Elliot responded before the surgeon had finished speaking. "I'll go."
"Good. If you'll follow me to the nurse's station, they'll provide you with her room."
Maureen grabbed her dad's hand. "Call me if you need anything at all, Daddy."
"I will," he assured her.
The surgeon looked at the large group. "I recommend all of you go home and get some rest."
Carisi spoke up, shaking his head. "We will, later," he said stubbornly.
Elliot followed the surgeon down the hall and to the recovery ward, his heart pounding the entire time. The surgeon led him to a closed curtain and pushed it aside. Elliot quietly slipped in and stood next to the bed. His eyes stung as he reached down, gingerly brushing his hand against Olivia's forehead as she slept.
She had been positioned on her stomach, her head supported by pillows. IVs ran in and out of her body, and the heart monitor beside her bed indicated a strong and steady heartbeat.
A lump formed in his throat as he took in the apparatus surrounding her. He brushed a strand of hair away from her face and lightly stroked her cheek with his thumb.
"You're gonna be okay…"
A few hours later, a nurse came into the room and gently nudged Elliot from the doze he had slipped into. "Mr. Stabler?" she whispered.
He awoke, sitting upright. "Yeah?"
"We're going to take her back into surgery shortly," she explained as she checked Olivia's vitals.
Elliot nodded, reluctantly standing up. He released his grip on Olivia's hand and absently smoothed her hair back. "Keep me posted?"
"Absolutely." She smiled sympathetically at him.
He lingered a moment before he left the room, taking one last glance as he exited.
When he returned to the waiting room, he found Carisi and Cragen still there. Carisi spotted him and stood up. "How's she doing?"
"Still unconscious. They're taking her back into surgery now."
He nodded and gestured to the room. "Lot of people are donating blood. A few had to go home, and Fin said he'll be back in an hour."
"And I sent Maureen home," Cragen added wearily. "She was exhausted."
Elliot nodded. "Alright. I'm going to go donate. She'll be in surgery a while."
"After you donate, go home and change." Cragen looked pointedly at Elliot's bloody suit. "Olivia doesn't need to see that when she wakes up."
Elliot started to protest, but he looked down at his suit and sighed, relenting with a nod. He found the donation center and gave as much blood as they'd allow before he left the hospital to clean up.
He took some reassurance in the fact that Cragen was there in case there was an update, but he still made fast time of showering and changing into clean clothes. Once he was cleaned up, he returned to the hospital.
This time Fin and Cragen were in the waiting room, with Carisi having gone to give blood. Fin clapped Elliot's shoulder as the other man sat down beside him. "You look better."
"Have you heard anything?"
"Nah. You know I woulda called you."
Nodding gratefully, Elliot sat down to wait for an update.
The next update didn't come until well after dawn. Olivia was finally out of surgery, and her surgeon was confident they had removed all of the fragments. The next step was to wait for her to wake up.
He let one visitor in, and nobody protested when Elliot was the first one on his feet. He followed the surgeon to the room where Olivia had been settled and quietly took a seat
She didn't look much different from before, and he held back a worried sigh as he took her hand into his. She didn't respond, but the surgeon assured Elliot she could hear him.
"I'm here, Liv…"
To his surprise, her fingers curled very weakly around his.
It wasn't much, but it was enough to make him sigh in relief and he tightened his grip. He rubbed his thumb against the back of her hand and raised it to his lips, kissing gently.
He wasn't leaving her side.
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