THE air around her was chilled as a bitter breeze wafted through the streets of Diagon Alley. The air carried the faint scent of rainfall. Dahlia could not believe that she was doing this, that she had snuck out and left Severus's home without the man's knowledge, especially after making amends with him last night, considering.
She was not doing this. She. Was. Not. Doing. This.
She was not skulking her way through the cobblestoned streets of Knockturn Alley to meet Wes Walker and Remus Lupin in secret to give them the Wolfsbane she had promised.
Oh, but surprise! She was. Dahlia had no bloody idea how she had talked herself into this, but Severus had not given her a concrete answer last night shortly before he had dismissed her from his company if he would even want to come with her this morning and considering what had happened to her in the graveyard, she would have been shocked if he'd said no, he did not want to accompany her. But… She'd not been able to bear to wake him and had chosen to let him sleep, and had dressed quietly and grabbed the respective vials of Wolfsbane Potion that she needed and had slipped out the door. She hoped, perhaps against hope, that Severus would still be asleep by the time she got back.
Hopefully, once she could impart the news to the two werewolves that she had accepted the position of Head Matron at Hogwarts, her news would alleviate the need for these meetings in secret like this.
She huffed as she buried her hands in the pockets of her coat, before removing one of them and running her fingers through her red hair. Dahlia wound her jacket tighter around herself for warmth as she walked at a brisk pace, hoping to spot either Remus Lupin or the man's wife, Nymphadora-Tonks Lupin soon, all the while asking herself, "Why?"
Why was she so stupid? She wished she could retreat into the protective dark enclosure of Severus Snape's home, but it was too late. What had gotten into her?
She wished she could tell herself just what, though a part of her wasn't even sure why she'd gone against Severus's wishes when they had gone to so much length to make amends. The brisk cool air of the morning felt warmer than usual, though Dahlia supposed that could have just been the blood rushing to her cheeks.
She walked along the cobblestone pavement beneath her feet she was all too familiar with. The abnormally lively young witch's feet felt admittedly less tired and lighter as she walked. Merlin, but this was bloody dumb.
A flash of brown darted past her feet in a blur. She squeaked from the sudden sight, halting in her tracks as she glanced down at the cobblestones to see what sort of movement had caught her attention just now.
With a few blinks, and a brush of her hair as she took a moment to pull it back into a tight bun, so it was out of her way, she looked down to find an emaciated too-thin starving common variety garden rat, the poor thing looking like it was missing a couple of toes and fingers, part of its left ear.
Dahlia was glad she didn't lose her footing as she took a step backward, which, to her surprise, she did almost lose.
"Well, aren't you just the most handsome thing, little fella, huh?" She let her amused eyes follow the rat as it stood up on its hind legs and squeaked as she knelt slowly into a crouch to get a better look at the animal.
He chirped a trill of squeaks in response. Dahlia almost frowned as she couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw the rat preen a bit and puff out its chest at the word handsome. The strange little creature scampered across the street and towards a drain near Knockturn Alley's entrance, she was set to meet Wes near Borgin and Burke's soon, Lupin too, if the werewolf happened to show up. Her thoughts warned her of something, of how Dolohov had cornered her the other day.
What would people here say if they recognized her and if she were to make for the shop? People tended to talk, and most who knew Hans knew what kind of a man he had been, the things that he'd done to her.
She did not want, nor did she need their leering stares. She wondered…what if she turned back, what if she fled Diagon Alley altogether, just like the little rat had done?
It would be easy enough. She could leave the vials of Wolfsbane somewhere safe for Remus and Wes to find, perhaps with one of the shopkeepers. She was having second thoughts of meeting the werewolves here in secret like this and trying to keep it a secret from Severus, knowing the wizard would not approve of her meeting Wes, specifically after how he'd spoken of Wes Walker.
This was crazy. No, she was crazy! Yet, here she was, lingering near Borgin and Burkes, looking lost and like she had not a clue what she was doing. What was she even doing? She pressed her palm to her forehead in annoyance with herself. The flustered witch wished that her mind would quiet down and let her be, for once. Deep breaths flowed out of her in the form of long exhales. She had to go inside. She was nervous, yes, but she could not, would not turn away.
Not when she had made Walker and Lupin a promise that she'd come, regardless of if Snape was angry with her later, she would deal with him. With a tug of her coat sleeve and a huff of her breath, she pushed onward, one foot in front of the other.
Even though the anxious young witch was sure no one here was paying her any mind, she felt as though many eyes were staring at her as she hastily quickened her pace. She pulled the hood of her coat around herself tighter. Without her noticing, she had broken into a light jog and reached the cramped shop of Borgin and Burke's.
Her breath hitched in her throat, her thundering heart pounding in her chest as she stood in front of the door.
Was it too late for her to turn back? Unfortunately, no.
For a moment, her wide eyes gazed at the items Mr. Borgin had for sale in his shop displayed in the front window for any passersby to see in the hopes of enticing their curiosity enough to make them want to enter and have a quick look around, perhaps buy something if a trinket caught their fancy. Dahlia stiffened. She knew she could not stand out here forever. As much as she might have liked to, people would notice her seemingly odd behavior if she did. The overwhelmed witch recited a quick prayer to no one under her breath as she stopped in hesitation by the door.
Her large unblinking eyes gazed at the handle that she knew she needed to grab.
Her hand had a mind of its own as she lowered the hood of her coat and rose her hand to the door handle.
"Ugh. I really am a stupid witch, I can't believe I'm here," she growled for the second time since sneaking out of Snape's home. Her voice was only above a whisper. With a firm twist and a push, the massive door creaked widely open.
Through the cracked door, delicate brown eyes peered into the vast darkness.
She breathed a heavy scattered sigh as she slipped through the door and vanished within the darkness of Borgin and Burke's. At that moment, the trepidatious young witch was the second figure to disappear into the inky darkness of the ajar magical antiques and curio shop, with Auror Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin trailing closely behind her, curiously...
THE heavy shop door swung as it creaked closed loudly. A loud thud emanated from the old carved wood and the bell tinkled above her head. The shopkeeper, Mr. Borgin, a wizened old wizard who recognized Dahlia well enough, having been well acquainted with her father, barely nodded a cordial hello to her as she stepped inside.
Dahlia was sure that she was not followed, at least, hopefully, she wasn't. She took a small hesitant step forward, her hands shaking as she crammed them into the pockets of her coat to hide how nervous she was from Mr. Borgin, her slender fingers curling around the vials of Wolfsbane Potion. Her skittish eyes made a quick scan of the environment around her, hoping to spot any sign of Lupin and his wife, or even of Wes. She wanted to get this favor over with so she could return to Spinner's End before Severus knew that she was even missing.
Though before Dahlia could so much as take a step forward towards the front counter, frowning as she watched Mr. Borgin saunter towards the back of the shop, most likely toward a storage room, a deep vibration suddenly surged through the ground as the sound of a fallen object filled her ringing eardrums.
The sound of said object's fall held a high-pitched clattered twang. Dahlia instinctively twirled around on the heels of her boots and brought her hands to clasp up over her agape mouth, a gasp escaping from the back of her throat.
The abrupt noise had ripped the witch out of her dazed thoughts. As a young woman close to her age slid out from behind one of the bookshelves, Dahlia breathed out a relieved breath. As she hesitantly slid away from the shelf, Dahlia's questioning eyes flicked up to the witch's short spiky bubblegum pink hair and immediately recognized her as one of the Aurors for the Ministry of Magic. This was Remus's wife. "Oh! It must have been you who made the noise," she laughed nervously, looking immensely relieved at knowing who had caused the startling sound as she spoke up.
Her hands had since fallen from her chest and instead, rested in between her legs as she eyed Nymphadora-Tonks Lupin curiously as the pink-haired witch shot her a sheepish grin, brushing her hands on the seat of her jeans.
"Y-yeah, sorry about that, I'm dead clumsy, I'm lucky I didn't knock this whole bloody shelf over, otherwise Borgin would have my ass and I'd be paying for whatever I broke," the pink-haired, pale witch weakly joked with a strained smile. The Auror wrang her hands and bit her lip, flicking her grey eyes up to meet Dahlia's before striding forward and holding out her hand for Dahlia to take. "Wotcher, don't trip over all this stuff in here, Merlin only knows what Mr. Borgin has here, none of it's pretty stuff," she cautioned, motioning with a jerk of her head towards what looked like a fallen candelabra that Dahlia hastily bent to pick back up again and set down on a nearby wooden table.
"You must be ah… Nymphadora Tonks, right? Remus Lupin's wife? The Headmistress said that you would be taking a position at the school as an official guard for the school?"
"Yup, that's me, but don't call me Nymphadora unless you want your eyes carved from your head the Muggle way," the younger witch chirped brightly, though she shuddered and scrunched her nose in disgust at the use of her first name, breathing out a relieved breath and looking immensely relaxed, now that she sensed Dahlia wasn't about to bolt off or chastise her for her natural clumsiness. "I came for Remus. He said that you would be here with his Wolfsbane."
Dahlia furrowed her brows into a worried frown. "Is he alright? Is it his symptoms?" she asked, ticking off the days until this months' full moon. Dahlia felt her shoulders sag in disappointment as the younger witch quickly shook her head no.
She hoped the disappointment wasn't evident on her face. She'd been hoping to see him this morning and say hello. She knew werewolves tended to experience aggressive spikes in their temperament sometimes leading up to the full moon, and afterward, werewolves would oftentimes suffer tremendous headaches the morning after a full moon, to say nothing of their bodies quite literally putting themselves back together post their painful transformations.
"Is there anything I can do?" she asked worriedly, fumbling in the pockets of her coat for one of the prepared vials of Wolfsbane she kept in her private stores that she had thought to pack when Healer Smithwick had first told her she was going to be living with Snape for a year. You never knew who you were going to run into, and she'd not wanted to take any chances and was now glad that she had not thought to leave it all behind her.
Tonks blinked owlishly at Dahlia, looking taken aback for a moment, but then quickly recovered and shook her head.
"What? Do you mean for Remus? Oh, no. You're sweet to worry, but no, no, he-he's fine," she stammered a little too quickly, reaching out to take the vial of Wolfsbane from Dahlia and offering the redhaired witch a slight incline of her head in thanks. "I just…well, wanted to meet you, officially, since Remus says that you're going to be Hogwarts's new Head Matron." She snorted and rolled her eyes. "You'll be dealing with me a lot. I feel like I'm always coming up with new and ingenious ways to accidentally injure myself. A side effect of me being clumsy, I guess." She sighed. "I've heard a lot about you, Miss Hawthorne," Tonks continued carrying on talking, suddenly looking uncomfortable as she awkwardly shifted her weight from one foot to the next and reached up a hand to scratch an itch behind her left ear.
"All good things, I hope," Dahlia chuckled nervously, regarding Nymphadora-Tonks Lupin curiously, thinking that perhaps in time, the werewolf's wife could become a good friend to her. "Where is Remus, anyway, if he isn't with you?" Dahlia wondered out loud, looking around, surprised that the werewolf she would see every month in St. Mungo's, was nowhere to be found. "I had hoped he would be here today, that I could say hello?" she questioned, noticing how Tonks snickered.
Tonks lowered her eyes bashfully at Dahlia's question but laughed with amusement.
"Oh, I don't think he's left our son Teddy's side for more than five minutes at a time since he was born, Miss Hawthorne," Tonks joked happily. "He should be along soon, but he told me to tell you, thank you, if he couldn't make it today. Our son's been colicky lately, so for now, he's home with him, trying to get Teddy down for a quick kip."
Dahlia nodded in understanding, though the faint ghost of a smile that tugged at her lips faltered somewhat at seeing the look of trepidation on Auror Lupin's face.
"Is there ah, something else I can help you with, Auror Lupin?" she stammered, trying to coax Mrs. Lupin into whatever it was she wanted to say. She decided that perhaps it was a good idea to vacate Borgin and Burke's in the event Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin accidentally knocked over something else.
She motioned towards the door with a wave of her arm, to which Tonks nodded eagerly, seemingly interested in leaving the dingy shot as quickly as possible as her nose tickled, and the witch fought back a loud sneeze.
"Yes, well, I—I thought I'd stop by and see if perhaps Severus would be here too, with you, er, too," Tonks stammered, her cheeks flushed pink as she suddenly averted Dahlia's gaze. "I thought that, well...I should apologize for how I've behaved towards him these last couple of years. Remus told me that you're the man's Healer after….well, everything that happened to Professor Snape. That you were the one responsible for saving his life. That…you're staying with him for a year. Is it true?" she murmured uncomfortably, turning to look at Dahlia's stunned expression and leaning against the brick wall of one of the buildings once they were on the side pavement outside.
Tonks was looking a bit more animated now that Dahlia was getting a good look at her in the sunlight outside and not in Borgin and Burke's shop.
"Do you think he'll change?" Tonks asked with a light casual shrug of her shoulders as she folded one leg over the other. Without giving Dahlia a chance to ask what she meant by her words, she carried on, oblivious to Dahlia's curiosity. "I've also heard that he saved your life, is that true? Professor McGonagall told us what happened, I guess she's got a knack for this sort of thing, just like Dumbledore did, " Tonks asked as a wry smile appeared on her pale face, though the younger witch rolled her eyes at her statement and scoffed. "You'll have to get used to it if you're going to be at Hogwarts with us. Not much happens that the Headmistress won't know about. She has her ways of finding out information before most. She keeps tabs on her staff, even when the school term is out. It was lucky, don't you think, that Snape seemed to think of you in such a spur of the moment, isn't it?" Tonks asked, her grey eyes taking on a twinkling sheen Dahlia wasn't sure she liked and wasn't altogether sure how to respond to the witch.
"Yes, I—I was very lucky," replied Dahlia hesitantly as she stared uneasily at her new counterpart, wishing that Mrs. Lupin would just get to the heart of the matter. "And as for me being his Healer, I—I am, your husband told you correctly," Dahlia instantly replied, feeling her cheeks begin to warm at the mention of his name. She swallowed down hard past a lump in her throat, wondering where on earth the witch was going with this line of questioning.
Dahlia wracked her brain and tried to think of something—anything—to say to fill the uneasy silence. Tonks opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by the sound of heightened voices, originating from down the street, one of them was Severus Snape's. Tonks and Dahlia exchanged worried glances as Dahlia felt the blood drain from her face.
"Oh, damn," Dahlia swore, swiveling her head towards the source of the noise, Tonks following Dahlia's gaze and looking at the approaching figures of Severus Snape and Remus Lupin with obvious intrigue. She groaned and pinched at her temples with frustration and heaved a frustrated sigh. "Stay here, I will handle Severus, I'm the one who asked your husband and Wes here. He...wasn't exactly aware that I was coming here this morning," Dahlia murmured.
She did not let herself look behind to gauge Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin's reaction long enough to see the defiant look in her eyes. Dahlia turned instead on her heels and began to walk towards Snape, intending to meet the man halfway.
Dahlia's heart thumped beneath her ribs and her head swam as she fought to ground herself in reality as Severus Snape stalked towards her with a murderous look in his black eyes, lips curled upward into a wild, feral snarl. She opened her mouth and tried to speak, but she couldn't catch her breath long enough to utter a single word.
She just stood there, rooted to her spot, staring at the towering wizard that now stood inches away from her, waiting for Severus Snape to say something, waiting for him to launch into a tirade, to scream and yell at her.
But he came to a halt and stayed just as he was, still and silent and distant. It greatly unnerved her if she was being honest with herself. Dahlia's left hand curled around the handle of her wand stowed in the pocket of her coat, and she forced herself to focus on the feeling of the cold wood in her hand.
It brought her back to herself, gave her the comfort and courage she needed to do what she had to, to accept whatever words Severus wished for her to hear, in front of Mr. and Mrs. Lupin, and then the two of them would head back and they would continue this conversation of theirs in private. She grimaced as he moved to stand so close that she could have reached out and rested a hand against his chest if she was of a mind to. Dahlia was briefly tempted, half-hoping it would calm him down, but managed to refrain herself, watching out of the corner of her eye as Remus Lupin moved to join his wife, their shoulders almost touching. Dahlia swallowed down hard and forced her gaze to return to Severus.
Severus's eyes were blades, cold, cutting, and doubly deadly as he glared at her.
She flinched back, her mouth falling open. Three quick easy strides and he was now inches from her, his arm shooting out and his fingers winding around her slender wrist. She was so alarmed that she drew back for a moment, attempting to tug out of his strong grasp, and to his credit, he stopped, let go, and took a few steps back.
She nearly jumped out of her skin when Remus Lupin's hoarse voice echoed from behind him.
"When your ah…conversation is done, Severus, I believe that Professor McGonagall was wanting a word about the start of term. She sent an owl to our home in Yorkshire this morning, requesting the staff return to the school this afternoon at three o'clock for a debriefing of what's to be expected come September. I thought, perhaps, if you'd not received the same message, then you should hear it from me first, Severus," Remus remarked, frowning slightly.
Dahlia stiffened as she watched him briefly tear his gaze away from her to offer Lupin a curt nod of his head.
"I will be sure to meet her, Lupin, as will Miss Hawthorne," Severus barked, his voice icy as he turned his gaze away from Remus and fixed Dahlia with a truly withering stare. "Once my Healer and I have finished our conversation. I see no need to offer up introductions as the three of you seem familiar with one another already. If you will kindly excuse us, I would borrow my Healer for a moment or two, alone," he emphasized, whisper hissing his words through clenched teeth in such a dangerously quiet voice, it was a bloody miracle his words weren't lost on the wind.
Severus stared at her for a moment, his expression blank and impassive, and then his dark eyes narrowed abruptly, his fingers curling into shaking fists at his side.
"Tell me that you did not sneak out after our conversation last night, Hawthorne," he said, his voice little more than a snarl.
"No, she didn't, Snape, she came here on Remus's account. I asked her to come. I knew that you were—are—recovering," Tonks stammered, immediately trying to correct herself as Severus turned his wrathful glower on the Metamorphmagus. Her hair turned bright red for a moment and her blush intensified, but Tonks refused to look away.
The younger witch stepped proactively in front of Dahlia and sandwiched herself in between Severus and Dahlia as if she thought her slight form would keep her from the man's wrath. But Tonks did not know that Dahlia did not fear Severus. She knew the man would never bring harm to her willingly, no matter what perceived wrong she might have committed against him, and that included sneaking out of his own home without dropping a note.
But she knew that Remus's wife could not know that. She rested her hand on Tonks's shoulder and kept it there, glaring over her shoulder at Severus.
Though before Dahlia could interject on Mrs. Lupin's behalf, the younger witch spoke up in a cutting voice.
"If you're going to be pissed at anyone, Snape, get angry with me, not Dahlia. This whole bit was my idea. I'm the one who called her out here this early in the morning and wouldn't take no for an answer, Snape," Tonks boldly stated, lifting her chin, and jutting it out slightly challengingly, as though silently daring Severus to contradict her.
Severus's eyes nervously flicked between them for a moment, testing the two of them, waiting for Dahlia to contradict Tonks's statement. She nearly did so, she had never been good with lies, and much preferred telling the truth, no matter how awful it might be. But the rage wrote across Severus's features that pulled the skin of his brow taut and tight, and his lips curled up in a snarl, almost made her afraid to intervene.
Would he hurt Tonks if she told him the truth? Would Severus truly be so cruel?
Though Dahlia let out a breath she did not even realize she had been holding as the set of Severus's shoulders relaxed, but the tension in his jaw did not release.
Severus slowly turned towards Tonks. He took a moment or two to simply stare at the younger witch, his black eyes peering at Remus Lupin's wife as if she were some strange creature at a menagerie that he'd caught and had no idea what to do with.
Tonks held her ground, not blinking nor moving a single inch as his penetrating gaze bore deep into hers. Dahlia grimaced and pulled a face, biting down on her bottom lip in anguish. She recognized that look well. The man was probing Mrs. Lupin's mind for the truth.
He must have not been able to detect a hint of a lie, for he broke his concentration and did not seem to hear the audible sigh of relief that Tonks let out as Severus surrendered.
After a moment's silence as he turned back to fully face Dahlia, his expression turned almost languid, as if he'd grown bored with the situation now at hand.
"Kindly leave, Mr. and Mrs. Lupin. Miss Hawthorne and I need a moment alone without prying ears," he muttered through gritted teeth, his eyes still firmly concentrated on Dahlia alone.
Lupin and Tonks looked uneasily towards her before turning on their heels and heading down the cobblestoned walkway, murmuring under their breaths about paying a quick visit to Mr. Fortescue at Florean's Ice Cream Parlor.
Dahlia caught the eye of Nymphadora Tonks-Lupin, who seemed to want to speak further, just as Remus Lupin reached up and gave his wife a gentle squeeze of her left shoulder, silently encouraging the young witch without words to keep moving forward.
Tonks was looking hesitantly towards Dahlia, unsure of whether or not to leave her alone in the company of Hogwarts' Potions Master and his quiet but still fearful temper. His Healer, however, simply smiled reassuringly in response and cocked her head to the side as a sign to signal to the married couple that she was going to be alright and to leave her.
Seeming at least a little satisfied, Tonks offered Dahlia a coy smile, though as she tore her gaze away from her new acquaintance, her bright smile faltered only slightly as she regarded Severus.
"Professor McGonagall will be expecting you at three in her office, Severus. Don't be late." She paused and then continued. "And if you ever hurt her while she's in your care—"
Severus angrily huffed in exasperation and held up his hands in mock surrender and glowered at the witch.
"Then you may kill me slowly, Auror Lupin, in whatever manner you see fit, witch," Severus snarled meanly.
Tonks smiled thinly. "Do not doubt that I will, Snape. I'll see you at three."
With that one last parting jab, Tonks and Lupin were gone and down the street. Both Dahlia and Severus exhaled at once, as Dahlia turned back to Severus with a thinly arched brow.
"That…could have gone better," she admitted, furrowing her brows as she regarded Severus with a steady look.
"It could have gone far worse, Dahlia, you think I've not heard such remarks before, from others? Comments like that have never bothered me," Severus remarked darkly, still glowering at Lupin and Tonks's fading silhouettes. He seemed to thankfully shake off his misgivings and look back towards her, and Dahlia could have sworn his hardened expression softened somewhat, but as soon as it had come, it was gone, replaced by a look of anger once more. Severus looked as though he had plenty more that he wanted to say to her regarding her little stunt of sneaking out.
She knew, even before he had begun to speak, that he wasn't done with her.
"Yet again, you have managed to find a way to anger me, Hawthorne," Severus began to murmur in a softer voice, his piercing black eyes narrowing slightly. "That is twice in two days, Dahlia, are you trying for a record of a third?" She couldn't be sure, but she thought she saw his lips twitch upward in a wry smirk.
"I'm sorry, profusely, Severus, I—I didn't mean to…cause you alarm, I…you were sleeping earlier, a—and I didn't want to wake you. You needed the rest, I...I couldn't wake you," Dahlia replied immediately, ducking her head, and allowing a lock of her hair to fall in front of her face like a curtain, effectively shielding her expression from him.
This time, Dahlia did mean her words. As she summoned enough courage to finally lift her gaze and look at him, her heart heaved the way that Severus looked at her like she'd been caught stealing and was about to face hours of some horrible punishment, and in a way, she guessed she ought to.
She had slipped away from him undetected, and Severus, she thought, would be well within her rights to try to 'ground' her. She wouldn't blame him if he attempted to keep a closer eye on her going forward, considering what had happened to her yesterday morning with Dolohov's men and Antonin Dolohov himself.
His black hair was unruly, his black robes disheveled, and the soles of his boots were muddied, dirtying the cobblestones that he stood on. Dahlia swallowed, trying to brave the wizard's scalding stare.
Finally, Severus spoke to her.
"You aren't running away, are you?" His voice sounded strangely bitter, almost dull, and lifeless.
She looked up at the man in astonishment, surprised to hear the words that were ripped from his lips. She did not have enough time to process why this was the case, for Dahlia quickly dismissed the thought, assuming it to be an inaccurate observation on her part, based on her poor hearing just now. Dahlia inhaled sharply.
"No, Severus. I'm not," she answered as steadily as she could, trying to keep as level-headed a tone as she could manage to. "I told you that I wouldn't leave, and I haven't. Not…not in that way," she stammered, quickly attempting to correct herself as she took in the way the wizard's dark eyes narrowed.
"Some days I would give anything not to be alive like this," he growled, his fingers curling into fists. "Perhaps it would have been better that I died, at least it could have been said that the son of Tobias and Eileen Snape would have died a hero, and wouldn't that be poetic."
Alarmed, Dahlia felt her eyes widen, afraid of the tension in the wizard's fists and the curling of the man's thin lips. "Don't say things like that!" she cried, balling her fingers into fists, aching to jinx him for making such disparaging remarks towards himself. "That's not true! You truly hold yourself in such low regard?" she protested, shaking her head.
"Can't I? Isn't it?" he retorted, leaning forward. "Why can't I? The entire wizarding community could only wish for it. Even once the truth comes to light, what I am, my reasons for protecting Potter and betraying the Dark Lord made available for all to see, I am still shunned, still reviled and disliked, with nothing but this to show for it. What have I left in this world that would make it worth staying alive for?" he snarled.
As if to emphasize his point, Severus made a visible show of pulling down his thick woolen grey scarf a bit to reveal his scarred throat as he let his hand trace over the scarred pink tissue, and he flinched at the feeling of his rough skin beneath his otherwise smooth palm. The muscles in his jaw clenched and tighten as he fell silent and waited for Dahlia to collect her thoughts to speak.
His words struck her right in the heart, more painfully than she had ever imagined such simple words could. She thought of the nights ahead of her, the nightmares of Father and now of Antonin Dolohov that will trouble her conscience, the aching loneliness that will consume her and sweep her under.
She thought that she hated this man, was terrified by him sometimes but needed him more than she could know. Severus Snape, like it or not, was all that she had.
She could not recall how she had come to decide that perhaps, she was beginning to like him, beyond the professional boundaries that a Healer was meant to like their patients.
He was not a beautiful man by any means: pale-skinned and thin-lipped, with a sharp hooked nose that could take out her eye if she so much as turned the wrong way.
But it was strange how attraction could change her opinions. She glanced down at the man's hands and found them the most beautiful of all. His beautiful long fingers, so bone-white and perfect; his eyes, the darkest, most crisp black she had ever seen, like fathomless black pits.
Even his nose became a noble feature. It was not the man's face that mattered, but what she saw in Severus Snape's eyes, in the way the wizard spoke to her, in the way that he chose to carry himself. The things she recognized in him that reminded her of herself that was beginning to attract her to him the most. Without even thinking about it, Dahlia reached for his hands, not allowing herself a moment to second guess as she took Severus's knuckles and pressed them to her lips for a gentle, chaste kiss.
"You have me," was all she could say. She heard him sniff as he scratched at the stubble near his jaw, leaving a smudge of blood on his cheek that made her stomach coil, immediately thinking that something was wrong. "What-" she started to say but cut herself off from speaking further as a flash of movement from him caught her attention.
It took him a moment, but then Severus awkwardly moved his other hand out from behind his back and handed over to her what seemed to be too peculiar to be true: a single pristine beautiful red Dahlia flower, the flower that had been her mother's favorite growing up that had caused her to name her after the plant. She gaped at the unruly means that the stem had been zagged with whatever Severing Charm Severus had used on it.
Half of the flower was splattered with what looked suspiciously like animal blood of some sort, but still, the scent of the single delicate little plant was so distinct that it took her back to the few precious happy thoughts of her life that she did have, all of them without Father. Her lips parted, agape in disbelief.
If there was one thing a wizard-like Severus Snape would do to impress her, handing her over such a beautiful flower would have never been an option, in her mind.
Perhaps he might have presented her with the finest of ingredients that she could store in her private storage closet of the Hospital Wing that she would use for her collections of potions and remedies for the students and staff of Hogwarts once she started her new position. But this was not at all the likes of Severus Snape, she thought.
This would make him a fool. And this fool had managed to bring her a beautiful flower that would look lovely in a vase on the windowsill in her bedroom. The flower looked almost too funny to qualify as a gift, a mess of weed leaves and roots hanging off the edge as Severus tried to pluck them off awkwardly, leaving them on the ground.
Again, he handed the flower to her, in fact, he more or less shoved it at her chest, but Dahlia was too dumbstruck to so much as lift a finger to take it from him, her eyes wide and round with awe.
Severus must have noticed Dahlia staring at the blood splatters that littered his face, greatly annoying him as he waved his wand to conjure a handkerchief and proceeded to clear the blood from his face.
"It was the Venomous Tentacula outside Sprout's greenhouse," Severus barked hoarsely.
"Oh." Dahlia was almost smiling at the cringeworthy way he had to explain the mess. "I—I see," she stammered shyly.
Severus heaved and pulled the flowers back with an irate mumble. "Forget it."
"No! I—I'll take it!" Dahlia protested, quickly jutting out her hand to take from him the deep red dahlia flower that almost rivaled the same shade of her hair.
Severus's eyes widened and he quickly looked away as he released it. The thrill she had been feeling made her fingers tremble and as she held the flower close to her chest, a faint blush stung her cheeks.
"Thank you, Severus," she whispered shyly, her heart fluttering in the way that it always had, back when she was just a stupid girl with even stupider dreams about some brave wizard who would come to spirit her away from the wretch that was her father. "It's beautiful," she murmured.
While yes, the flower was nowhere near as beautiful as bouquets she used to dream about being handed to her by handsome wizards in the most immaculate pressed of dress robes, it was not a red rose that she so loved to hold close to her nose and sniff in the sunrise, when the morning dew made them glitter. But this was Severus Snape and his sudden eccentric behavior, this wounded man who was her responsibility to heal, this wizard who'd saved her life.
Severus awkwardly wet his lips with an almost drying tongue. She caught a quick glimpse of him, how the uneasiness of the man's black eyes almost sparkled. Even with the stubble growing along his chin that would need shaving here in another day or two, the blood smudged on his cheek, she thought him handsome, hardened by the dark shadow of his past but recovering fully, with a little help from her. She wished she could give him whatever missing pieces of affection that were missing in the wizard's life if he'd let her in.
She watched as Severus turned away, but not before speaking to her.
"The other vial of Wolfsbane. For Walker. You've brought it with you?" he asked, his voice hoarse and distant.
Dahlia only eyed him in response. Her stare was piercing yet her stomach churned with dread. She did not confirm the man's assumptions, but her silence did not deny them, either. Of course, she had brought it, and she knew that Severus knew it. Her lack of response caused Severus to rethink how he phrased his words around his Healer.
"Forgive me, Hawthorne," he muttered lowly with a dip of his head. "I wish to speak to the wolf. Nothing more and nothing less than a simple…conversation. You don't need to be out here this early in the morning," he scolded. "You should be resting. You've slept little. I won't have my Healer taxed to the brink of physical exhaustion, because you continuously put others' health before that of your own," he growled.
Dahlia resisted the urge to roll her eyes and compromised by biting down on her tongue, though she straightened her gait and shoved her hands into the pockets of her coat, fumbling with the vial to retrieve it.
"Yes," she replied quickly after a moment's hesitation. "I-I do. I have it," she said, holding up the vial to quiet any further attempts by Severus to argue his point before he could fret over her.
As she silently and reluctantly handed it over, for some reason, Dahlia still felt the need to explain herself, all the while clutching the dahlia flower to her chest. She eyed the cobblestones, nervously.
"It wasn't my intention to deceive you, Severus," she whispered shyly. "I just…I made Wes a promise that I would help him. And Remus too, if I can. As a Healer, I made a vow to help whoever I could, and whenever. I would have asked that you join me, but you needed the rest more than I do. I didn't anticipate that I would be gone long this morning, no more than five minutes, and then I would return to you," Dahlia sighed, brushing back a lock of her red hair. "Give it to him, have your talk if you must, but please don't be too hard on Wes, Severus," Dahlia pleaded, chewing on her lip.
"What will you do?" Dahlia asked quietly and confused as she bit down on her lip. "You just want to talk to him?"
He scowled at the faintest note of disbelief in the young witch's voice. It was clear that she did not believe him. Not yet.
"Yes. And give the wolf his promised vial of Wolfsbane Potion. Nothing more and nothing less than that, Hawthorne," he promised her, folding his arms across his chest and proceeding to glare at Dahlia challengingly with raised brows.
She almost huffed in indignation, as she realized she wouldn't get anything more specific. He stared at her for a moment in silence, and Dahlia bravely held Severus's piercing stare, trying to keep her feelings within her and not allow what she thought to reach her eyes. When he spoke, his tone was faint.
"Trust me." His request almost sounded like a barely whispered prayer. His words were enough to cause her to reach up and touch the man's cheek.
Dahlia shivered, but not from the cold. It took her a moment to find her voice.
"I do trust you. I'll go home and let you speak to Wes alone. Just…please be gentle on him. For me. Do it for me if no other reason," she whispered, though her heart gave a painful lurch at whatever Severus would tell the werewolf. "I'm sorry for coming here without telling you," Dahlia apologized as a pained look flitted across her face. "I—I won't…do it again, Severus. Going forward, where I go, you go too if you're up for it and recovered enough to."
A strange sort of bitterness danced in Severus Snape's black, narrowed eyes, though his hardened expression softened somewhat as he looked into her eyes.
"I think we both know very well this won't be the first time you attempt to flee from the poisonous snake's company," he muttered roughly, pointedly ignoring the flicker of anger that darted through Dahlia's brown eyes. "But I thank you for your apology all the same." Severus flicked his gaze up to glance briefly around the otherwise deserted streets of Diagon Alley at this early hour of the morning, before looking back down at Dahlia.
He cupped her face in his hands, tenderly tilting her chin up to his. Severus stared intently into Dahlia's eyes, something hungry awakening there, a frustrated sort of desire coupled with abhorrence for her behaviors of sneaking away and general stubbornness. But it was something Dahlia recognized, something she began to shiver for.
"May I?" Severus murmured in a low voice, glancing towards her cheek. "No one will see it."
She nodded, and Severus closed the gap, pressing a warm, gentle kiss to her right cheek.
For just a fraction of a second, a hot flame came to life inside her, burning hotter and brighter when Severus did not immediately pull away and let his lips linger over the scar that her father had given her; then the flame welling in her chest, in her heart, seemed to whimper and die down the moment he pulled away from her.
But it was not gone entirely; there was a terrible aching in her veins, a fiery heat that she could not quite extinguish and didn't want to. The corners of Severus's mouth twitched upward, and she thought, perhaps for the first time, he was softly smiling at her, not smirking, as he tucked back a lock of hair behind her ear.
"Tonight?" he asked, seemingly sounding so uncertain of himself, so hesitant, as he was running his thumb gently across her cheek, the pads of his fingertips lingering over the rough white surface of the scar her father had given her.
"Tonight," she breathed breathlessly. She watched as Severus stepped back and turned away, without words, quickly striding and making the taps of his boots reverberate throughout the street. Dahlia could only watch him go and felt herself smile, watching the muddied boot prints paint the cobblestone street. She turned and clutched the flower to her chest, lifting one of her hands to touch at the spot where his lips had lingered, the skin still tingling and burning.
UNBEKNOWST to Dahlia, and Severus, Lupin, and Tonks watched Healer Dahlia Hawthorne walk away with an odd little smile on her face, clutching the flower that Snape had given her. Tonks stood with a hopeful expression resting on her placid features. Remus was looking pensive, though even the werewolf was not quite able to quell the look of shock and disbelief in his eyes. This strange pairing, Hogwarts' Potions Master, and their new Head Matron, if they were to take what Professor McGonagall told them that Professor Trelawney had relayed to her was true, promised to provide as many irritating moments as had his first year of partnership with the witch he was now married to, though he wouldn't trade those moments for anything else in the world now.
Tonks, sensing Lupin's discomfort, turned in his embrace and gave her husband a wide-eyed stare. "You don't think this will work, Remus?" she questioned him in annoyance, her brows furrowed into a slight frown of pure disbelief.
Remus shot his wife a withering look. "I never said that, Dora. It has to," he answered frustratedly, with a run of his hand through his prematurely greying light brown hair as he blew out a deep breath. "Professor McGonagall mentioned to me that Trelawney told her that this witch was Snape's future," he proclaimed. "That he was never meant to die in that boathouse. As a Seer, she saw it. Trelawney relayed to McGonagall that all they need is time alone."
Tonks stood stock-still for a moment, letting herself have a moment to take in her husband's words, and chuckled to herself as the strange images of Professor Severus Snape, a man so cold and distant, attempting to court a kind-hearted and beautiful witch-like Dahlia Hawthorne came to her mind and would not leave her alone. Lupin heard his wife's laugh and questioned her, moving to rest his chin on top of her shoulder as he snaked his arms around her waist.
"We should be getting back to your mother's, Dora. I told Andromeda we would only be gone a few minutes and we'd get Teddy. But…what's so funny?" Remus feigned hurt feelings to her.
Tonks let out a sigh as she thought for a moment. "I'm simply enjoying how devious McGonagall can be when she sets her mind to it. That's all. She's a matchmaker, that one is, just like Dumbledore when he paired the two of us together for the Order, Rem, or have you forgotten?" Tonks asked, a slight teasing lilt to her voice as she squirmed in the werewolf's strong embrace, craning her neck upward to look into the wizard's tired and peaky face.
Remus waved off his wife's question.
"I haven't, Dora," he murmured affectionately, pressing his lips to her cheek for a chaste kiss. "It is not our business with whom Severus chooses to spend his time, nor to what purpose, but even I find myself hoping for the best. Perhaps then his company won't be so insufferable when we return to Hogwarts in another few months to teach."
Tonks snorted and rolled her eyes.
"I hope not. I always thought Snape was every bit a right git and a wanker, but…he wasn't. I owe him an apology, Remus. We all do. He...he was always on our side, all this time. He's supposed to be a good man, and...well...if Trelawney is right, the old bat, and she almost never is wrong whenever she has one of her ah, prophetic moments, then maybe this witch, Dahlia Hawthorne, can bring that out of him. Merlin, God, I hope so, the bloody man needs it more than anyone I know," Tonks clarified and breathed out a shuddering breath as she continued. "I wish that we could have known the truth. If only Dumbledore could have mentioned it, we could have treated him better, I never knew..."
Tonks grimaced as her voice cracked as she shook her head to blink away her tears, hating herself for how she had treated Snape over the years. A dark cloud settled over her expression and she quickly shook the incriminating thoughts away as a horrible bitterness settled into the pit of her stomach as she tried not to think about the horrible things she had thought of Severus Snape, both when she had been under him as a student, and again working alongside him in the Order of the Phoenix. She knew at some point, she owed the wizard an apology.
But now was not that time, she told herself.
Tonks could tell by the wizard's purposeful strides as he stalked down the streets of Diagon Alley, towards wherever Wes Walker was supposedly lying in wait for Dahlia, it was safe to say that Severus had other things on his mind.
"Well, one thing's for sure." Tonks sighed deeply and shook her head to herself as she moved to take Lupin's hand and squeeze it, motioning to her husband with a tug of his arm to follow her, that they were due to head to her mother's and pick up their son from Andromeda just in time for lunch. He complied. "The next time we see the two of them together at Hogwarts, Remus, they'll either be in love with each other or maybe one of them will have killed the other."
A/N: I hope all of you are having a happy holiday season as we get up to celebrate the holidays with family & friends! I wanted to write a little Severus/Dahlia and thought this would be a nice moment, even if it's still somewhat awkward to write him doing anything 'intimate' for a witch that's not Lily, but I'm enjoying this side of him as he comes to terms with his feelings for his prickly temperamental Healer, and hope that you are continuing to enjoy the story! I thought the flower and kiss on the cheek were a nice touch. Felt awkward but worth it. *grin* Anyway, if you're enjoying the story, please favorite/follow, and don't hesitate to leave me a review! :)