Negaduck's Halloween

Negaduck marched into the lair, carrying his favorite chainsaw. "Get up, you nerds. We're going out," he growled.

Megavolt, Bushroot and Quackerjack gave him a dull look from where they sat on the worn couch, watching a Stephen King film. Liquidator lounged in a lion-clawed bathtub that they had dragged from the city dump.

"Going out? Tonight?" Megavolt asked, his pitch rising to a half-whine. "Really, Negaduck? Tonight of all nights?"

"Yes, tonight of all nights," Negaduck said, his voice mocking in his mimicry. "I'm not going to miss out on the best score of my life. Now get your butts in gear and come on."

Quackerjack, the one he would think would be on his side of things, waved off the order. "You do realize it's Halloween."

"Of course I know that," Negaduck sneered.

"Then you know this is the worst night for us to do anything," Quackerjack said. "With thousands of children on the streets in costume and punks pulling pranks, the cops will be out in droves. Not to mention Dorkwing Duck. It's not worth going to jail for."

Negaduck kicked the couch over. "Well, what if I told you that what we're doing isn't illegal, so not even Darkwing Duck could do anything about it?"

That caught their attention.

"What do you have in mind?" Bushroot asked with wide eyes.

Gosalyn led the charge to the next house, her bag of candy already several pounds and giving her hands and arms cramps. "Come on, Honker. I heard that this neighborhood gives out full-sized candy bars."

Honker, breathing like he needed another shot of his inhaler, was trying to keep up. "Gosalyn, don't you think we have enough. I'm tired. Let's go home."

Dressed as Darkwing Duck and Launchpad, their costumes were the best and even awarded them extra candy at several houses.

"Are you kidding me?" Gosalyn asked. "The one night that we get free candy, I'm not quitting until everyone has gone to bed. Now move your tail. We have candy to get."

However, they didn't reach the next house as a sudden fog overcame them, so thick that they could barely see beyond their beaks. The moisture rolled and moved, and at times, they could swear they could see a face in the mist. A song played slowly around them, a nursery rhyme that was tinny and out of tune which was interrupted by laughter.

"Let's get out of here," Honker said, his teeth chattering.

Gosalyn was inclined to agree, but when the pair tried to run, thick vines had wrapped around their legs, preventing them from moving.

The fog parted, and two figures stepped forward. A flash of lightning burst overhead, showing a clown reaching out for them with long, pointed nails, and a man lifting up a chainsaw that roared to life.

Gosalyn and Honker screamed, dropping their bags. Whatever plants had held onto them released their grip, allowing the kids to run away.

"See, wasn't that fun, boys?" Negaduck asked, picking up the discarded candy. "And spoils for everyone."

"Are you sure this is legal?" Liquidator asked, eying the candy skeptically.

Negaduck smiled. "We didn't steal it. We found it. Finders keepers."

That was enough for the others. They dug in, grabbing their favorite candies.

"Oh, here come another group of children," Quackerjack said happily, rubbing his hands together.

"Okay, boys. Let's see how many we can get to wet their pants this time," Negaduck said with a chuckle.

Darkwing Duck had had a long night. The last thing he needed was to investigate petty theft. He was a superhero, not a mall cop. But Gosalyn was his daughter, and if she was correct in what she reported that the Fearsome Five were stealing candy from children, well, it was up to Darkwing Duck to save Halloween.

It was almost disappointing how easy it was to find the gang of greedy goons. They weren't even trying to hide their misdeeds. As Darkwing Duck rode by on the Ratcatcher, he witnessed them scaring the living daylights out of a group of girls in princess dresses.

"Alright, you five. Put them in the air. I'm taking you downtown," Darkwing said, pulling out his gas gun.

Bushroot, Quackerjack, Megavolt and Liquidator prepared to run, but Negaduck held a hand up that stopped them in their tracks. As much as they feared Darkwing, they feared their leader even more.

"On what charges?" Negaduck asked, leaning against a fence and sticking a sucker into his mouth.

"For multiple counts of theft," Darkwing Duck said. He had stopped two armed robberies, an assault and four breaking and enterings. It was almost demeaning for him to be doing this. Given it was the Fearsome Five, but what were they doing stealing candy?

"Aren't you a little old to be stealing candy from children? Giving up the harder crimes?" Darkwing mocked.

"Not at all," Negaduck said. "We're just enjoying some Halloween fun. And we're not stealing."

"What?" Darkwing's bravado deflated.

"We haven't stolen a thing, right boys?" Negaduck asked his lackeys. "All this candy was just lying on the sidewalk, and there's nothing against the law about picking up candy from the ground and eating it, is there?" Negaduck flashed a big smile at his nemesis.

"Uh...no, there's not," Darkwing admitted. "But there's bound to be something in the law about scaring children...Or at least, you're loitering."

"We're performing a public service," Negaduck said. "Not only are we helping children experience the true meaning of Halloween, but we're also helping their parents. Think about it." He went to Darkwing and put his arm around the hero as if they were comrades.

Darkwing glared at him.

"Every Halloween, moms and dads everywhere struggle to put their sugar-hyped children to bed and pay hundreds of dollars on dental work because all this trick-or-treating building up plenty of cavities. But we're unloading a lot of that by liberating these bags of candy," Negaduck explained magnanimously.

Darkwing peered around Liquidator at the loot behind him. There must have been over four dozen bags. And while he could imagine all those sad kids crying over their lost candy, he also remembered just how keyed-up Gosalyn was last year after trick-or-treating. He didn't know how much candy she ate, but she was literally bouncing off the walls and didn't get to bed until sunrise. Not to mention, the dentist bill he had to fork out when she got three cavities soon after.

"Well...what a shame," Darkwing Duck said, pulling away from Negaduck's grip and walking backward toward the Ratcatcher. "No crime, no time. Looks like I must be on my way." He jumped onto his motorcycle and strapped on his helmet. "But if anyone asks, we had an epic battle, I fought valiantly, but somehow you slipped from my grasp."

Negaduck winked. "Of course." He picked up a bag of candy. "Here. For your time."

Darkwing took the candy. "This isn't a bribe. I'm confiscating it as evidence." He unwrapped a Snicker's bar and ate it in one bite.

Yeah, so he caved in to evil just this once. But there really wasn't anything he could do. Not to mention, it had been a long night. For once, he deserved to have a treat.