AN: Thank you for all the support! It is very deeply appreciated!
Hermione had another fight with Mr. Weasley.
His days as a spy allowed him to pick up on signs that others could not. There was a heaviness in her gait after a particularly bad fight, and her smile seemed more forced. If she wasn't careful the fading light in her eyes would be completely extinguished.
"I can't work this weekend." She announced.
He raised his eyebrow.
"Ron decided we needed to celebrate our engagement this Saturday at the Burrow." She leaned against the counter. "Meaning I have to wait until next weekend if I want more hours, assuming you are still open to me working weekends."
"I'm more than open to you working weekends," he began. "Though I wonder why you are allowing Mr. Weasley to have the final word on your engagement party. Hasn't he had enough say in your life, especially given his tacky proposal?"
"In retrospect, it wasn't that awful of a proposal." The light in her eyes died.
"That was not the impression I got from you yesterday."
"It's," she raised her hand. "I don't want to talk about it. Ron decided to have the party on Saturday, so I can't work the weekend."
"While I'm fine with you taking the weekend off, I do wonder why you're agreeing to go to a party you have no say in throwing."
"Have you ever tried to say no to Molly?"
He hummed in concession.
"Besides." She gave him a small grin. "If I worked this weekend, I couldn't invite you to the party."
"You want me to come?" His eyebrow was almost to his hairline.
"Sure, you're my employer and a kind of friend. Why couldn't you come?"
"To begin with, if I'm your idea of a friend, you do need a better social life."
"My social life is just fine. Yours on the other hand…"
"Is perfect."
"Perfectly boring and reclusive," she teased.
"Boring and reclusive are not always terrible traits."
"They are when discussing a social life."
"Perhaps my social life involves the smell of books and the words of great potions masters who have died decades ago. Books are better and far more fascinating companions than people, wouldn't you agree?"
"You have me there," she mused aloud. "Most evenings I would love nothing more than to curl up with a book. It beats watching Quidditch for hours on end."
"See, as long as I read I am perfectly content with my social life," he said.
"Yes, and I suppose I cannot blame you for not coming to the Burrow. Certainly, books are preferable to all that chaos, especially for you. Being at the Burrow isn't the way you, or even I, would typically want to spend a Saturday, but," she took a deep breath. "It would mean a lot if you came, especially since you'll be the only person there for me."
"What about Ginevra? Won't she be there?"
"She and Draco are still in Venice with Scorpio. They won't be back until Sunday, which is probably why Molly wants to have it on Saturday." Hermione shook her head. "It will save her the awkwardness of explaining to Ginny why she and her son are invited but not her husband."
"Molly needs to set aside her feelings on her daughter's marriage and start behaving like a mother." His frown deepened. "You think she could at least bring herself to be kind to Draco for the sake of her grandson."
"I know." Hermione sighed. "But Molly treats Luna just as horribly for marrying Harry. She wants the Golden Trio back and Harry as a member of her family, Luna and Draco be damned."
"Indeed," he said. "Which brings me to my next point, Potter will be there. Is he not your friend?"
"He's Ron's friend too. He's going to be there as much for him as he is for me."
"True."
"I want someone there who's only there for me. I want someone on my side, if that makes sense."
"Do you fear some type of argument at the party?"
"No, but it's difficult seeing so many people be there for Ron, and knowing nobody will be there to only see me."
He gave her a small nod.
"I know it's stupid, and it's intruding upon your time, Merlin knows if I were you I wouldn't spend my Saturday away from my apothecary, not when it gets so busy, but if you could be there, it would mean so much to me."
She should weaponize that look. It was the perfect blend of sincerity with vulnerability. Lurking behind it was an inner strength born from years on the run, and growing up before her time. Even with his occlumency shields at full strength, he was susceptible to doing whatever she wanted when she gave it.
"Molly makes some reasonably good cupcakes," he said. "I could tolerate her histrionics for an hour if it means I can have one."
"Oh thank you," the sparkle returned to her eyes. "I truly appreciate it."
"Hopefully you will feel that way when I come to collect on the debt you now owe me."
"How do you plan to do that?" Her expression was unchanged.
"Give me some time to meditate upon your payment and I will come up with something."
"I could work even more overtime without charging you extra."
"That will not be necessary. Your working overtime is for more your benefit than mine. Besides, it would be reprehensible not to give you the extra money for overtime you are due."
"Yes, but if I worked harder, you could return to your books sooner."
"Yes, but I would be keeping you from your books, which is a morally reprehensible thing to do."
"Keeping me from my books in order to teach me potions is far from the worst thing you've done."
"That is true," he said. "Hands on learning is just as important as reading after all."
"It is, and I'm developing a real appreciation for it," she said. "You weren't wrong when you said there's nothing like feeling asphodel powder sifting through your hands."
"Indeed."
"Returning to the subject of books." She sat on his counter. "I was wondering if you had any in regards to the intersection fo memory potions, charms, and magical actions such as occlumency."
"I have a few books on memory potions and their relationship to certain charms. Sadly, not much work has been done on the intersection of memory potions and occlumency, or legillimency for that matter."
"I was wondering if that could be my final project."
"Final project?"
"Yes, I want to examine if a potion can mimic legilimency, and break through false memories in order to restore them. If I could find a potion that breaks through occlumency shields, then perhaps it can cut through false memories."
"That sounds well and good, but you have not even finished the curriculum in your second year. Why are you thinking about your final project now?"
"It's best to be prepared for it."
"As well as be prepared for life without me looking over your shoulder," he said. "There was nothing more liberating for me than to work on my potions free of an instructor barking orders."
"Oh stop that. You do not bark orders."
"I am not the gentlest soul though."
"You're gentler than you let on," her voice was softer.
"Perhaps with you I am," his voice matched hers.
"I don't want to start my project because I do not enjoy working here or because I want to get rid of you. Honestly, if I could, I would keep this job forever."
"Yet…"
"Yet combining memory potions and occlumency is a new field, one in which I could not find any books."
"Quite possibly because they do not exist."
"Yes, which is why if we start now, we could have some great headway by the time I need to consider my final project."
"Most final projects take years," he scratched the counter. "And if yours is as complex as I believe it is, then starting earlier may be to our benefit."
"I promise I can still keep up with your lesson plans while I conduct my research. I can stay focused on both."
"Indeed you can." Severus stepped out from behind the counter. "Which is why I agree to allow you to begin the project now."
She looked at him as if she'd just received an Outstanding on her latest exam.
"We may as well start now."
"Great," she said. "Now, I was thinking we should start research into some memory charms and how potions interact with them…"
"No."
She closed her mouth.
"If you are serious about creating a final project at the intersection of memory potions and occlumency, then you need to understand how the latter works," he began, sounding every bit like the professor who had once taught at Hogwarts.
"Which means I have to learn how to do it, not simply read about it," she answered.
"Correct." He opened the back door.
"I suppose I did want to learn how to do it," she stepped through to the back room.
"You did." He shut the door. "Though if you have changed your mind I understand. It is not comfortable to allow someone to invade your mind. If you would like time to rethink it I respect your wishes."
"No, I haven't rethought anything. I'm just surprised it was happening so soon."
"I know legilllimency is a difficult procedure to consent to, so do not hesitate to tell me if you are uncomfortable with it."
"It's not a comfort issue. I thought I'd have to badger you into teaching me them."
"Has my eagerness disappointed you?"
"A little," she admitted. "I was quite looking forward to finding ways of bribing you to teach me."
"I may have given in too soon then," he said. "What were your plans?"
"I could attempt to bake you some of my sugar cookies, promise to scour the library for any book you need, or anything else you like."
"All of those are tempting." He smirked. "Tempting enough to make me reconsider my offer of teaching you occlumency. It is ever so tempting to withdraw my offer."
"You wouldn't dare take things back, would you?"
"You are already in debt to me for the party," he noted. "Being the former head of the Slytherin House, I should take advantage of this situation by increasing your debt to include occlumency lessons."
"You won't be happy until I'm on my knees begging, will you?" There was a playfulness in her expression Severus couldn't help but find endearing.
"Now there's an image; the student bowing at the professor's knees."
"Savor that image in your head. It is as close to me begging as you will ever get."
"So you are too proud to beg."
"At the moment, yes."
"But in five minutes, will your resolve still hold strong?"
"Why would I need resolve for anything. I will remind you that my cookies are more delicious than my tears. That alone should bend you to my will."
"True, and I've always had a distaste for women staining my floor with their tears," he said. "Make me a dozen of your cookies, and we will be even."
"Deal." She extended her hand.
He took it in his and shook it, savoring the softness of her skin.
"So, what's the first thing I need to learn?" She asked.
With some reluctance, he released her hand. Then, he pointed to a wooden chair across the room. "You will begin by sitting."
"Okay." She walked over the the chair.
He took a nearby wooden stool and brought it over to where she was. He set it across from her and sat. "Now, in order to perform occlumency well, you need to clear your mind."
"Okay." She closed her eyes and took a breath.
"More importantly, you will then need to trust me."
"Trust?" She opened her eyes.
"Indeed, trust is the most important thing we'll need for these lessons."
"Truly?"
He nodded.
"But Harry didn't trust you when he took lessons from you."
"You are correct. When I taught Harry occlumency, there was no bond between us. Our sessions were frustratingly unproductive, and ended in abject failure. I could not think of a worse way to teach a student occlumency."
"I doubt he would disagree with you."
"He wouldn't," Severus answered. "To teach occlumency effectively, there needs to be trust between the teacher and student. While you learn, you will not always be able to keep me out of your mind. You need to trust that I will not violate you in any way. When I teach you legillimency, I will have the same trust in you that you will not purposely search for memories which will harm me."
"I trust you."
"Then clear your mind and keep your eyes on me. It won't hurt as much if I enter your mind when you expect it."
She inhaled deeply, keeping her eyes on him.
"I'm going to enter your mind now. Do you consent?"
"Do I consent?" She asked.
"Yes."
She cocked her head, as if wondering why consent was necessary when it hadn't been with Harry.
"This isn't a war. I do not fear a dark lord using your memories to torture others. We are learning occlumency for academic purposes. Without consent each and every time I enter your mind, the exercise will do us both far more harm than good due to the risk of you feeling violated," he said.
"In that case, I consent." She relaxed.
"Then clear your mind, and try to push me out."
With that, he locked eyes with Hermione and entered her mind. Memories pushed themselves at him, but he remained where he was, absorbing her emotions.
At first, he felt her discomfort, then a weak push against him. Then, a sense of uncanniness overtook him. There was no terror or rage. Rather, it was as if her mind was embracing him, luring him in further. He wanted to stay inside forever.
After a few moments, it was becoming clearer that her mind was too tranquil to expel him. He exited her mind. She jerked back and exhaled.
"I apologize if I harmed you." He fought to quell the growing panic welling in his chest. "Sometimes I forget how disconcerting it can feel when someone is in your mind. I may have left too quickly."
"No, it isn't you." She shook her head. "I'm just surprised it felt like that."
"Felt like what?"
The silence between them was enough to take the breath from Severus' lungs. He thought he had learned from Harry's horrible experience to be gentle with his students. What if he had ruined things irrevocably between him and her? Could he live with knowing the pain that she felt violated?
"Never mind, I'll get used to it," she said.
"You don't need to get used to anything. If you aren't confident with this then say so. We can do this some other time," he said.
"No, this is really nothing. I want to try again."
"If this is too much…"
"No, it just didn't feel the way I expected it to feel."
"How did you expect it to feel?"
"Not like that."
"Are you in pain?"
"No, I'm not, which given what Harry said shocks me. He spoke about legillimency as if it always hurt to have it performed on him."
"I'm trying to be gentle," he said.
"And you're succeeding."
He gave her a skeptical look.
"Please, let the lesson continue," she said. "I want to try again."
He searched her eyes. She looked every bit the overeager Gryffindor he knew her to be.
"I'm going in again," he announced.
"Yes, and I consent," she said.
Once again, he entered her mind. The first thing he felt was a sense of calm, and an overwhelming sense of peace. There was no rejection of his presence, only acceptance.
When he felt a gentle prodding, he exited her mind. He kept his eyes locked on her. She was in no way panicked or disoriented.
If he was honest with himself, he felt different than he ever had during a session. Legillimency tended to take a toll on him, in large part because he was shifting through so many conflicting emotions. Even when he occluded, it was difficult to overcome the residual negative emotions of the tortured person he'd performed legillimency on. Yet now he was at peace, almost comforted by her presence.
As he looked into her eyes, he saw she felt the same way.
He considered saying something, probing the emotion further. Then, he thought better of it. Best to enjoy peace now.
Like every other peaceful moment in his life, it would prove fleeting.