"Acier, can you help me train my magic?"

She blinked and responded with the speed and grace befitting of a true Royal. "...Huh?"

It had been a day since the captain of the Silver Eagles had suffocated me into unconsciousness, and I had requested her presence in the Royal Courtyard for a discussion regarding my magical talent. "May you help me with my magic?" I repeated. "I wish to learn how to fine tune and control my mana, as well as find out what type of magic I wield."

Acier took a moment to respond. She hummed as she stared off into the sky, likely thinking of a proper response. After a minute, she spoke once more. "I can show you a couple ways to help control your mana, but I can't train you. I have business as the captain of my squad to do. Plus…" Her cheeks gained a light red hue. "I'm getting m-married soon…"

I nodded in understanding. "I see. Yes, I imagine you are quite busy as of late. I suppose I asked too much." I got up from the bench we were sitting on and stretched. "Very well, I will find someone else to assist me. I will not bother you again-"

"Wait!" Acier interrupted me, "I can't train you, but I said I could still give tips!" She...was she pouting? "Geez, I thought we were friends! How could you just use me like this?" She seemed upset, but I had a feeling she was just teasing me. My theory was proven correct when she then gave a smile. "Anyways, you don't need to worry. I can help you when you need it, like determining your magic type, showing you how to control your mana, and using your mana properly."

Confused, I asked. "You can use mana improperly?"

The noblewoman nodded. "Mana is a tool, and can be used differently between different people. However, there are two fundamental rules regarding mana: never completely exhaust your mana, and don't ignore your mana." Acier then created a small ball of steel and let it float around her head. "If you use too much mana," her little ball of steel started melting, as if it could barely hold itself together, "your magic will be extremely weak, and you'll be left exhausted at best and dead at worst."

"...Dead?"

Acier nodded and continued as if she was talking about the weather. "However, if you don't use enough mana," the steel ball began to vibrate in the air, before it exploded into small chunks around the Magic Knight's head, "then your body will be overwhelmed by it, like what happened to you on your first attempt. Worst case scenario, your limbs would pop right off your body."

I paled considerably at her wording. "Since I have so much mana, will I have to constantly use it to not injure myself?"

As if she could read minds, Acier quickly waved her hands in front of herself in a way to disperse the worry in the air. "You have no need to worry about anything, Your Highness! Only people with naturally born unstable mana worry about these things. With a little bit of practice, you can easily know when your mana is almost up or if you have too much!"

I rose a brow at what she said. "Acier, I told you to call me-"

"Augustus, I heard you have discovered your mana!" Out of all the people that could've approached me that day, I was not expecting my father, Augustus Kira Clover XII. I quickly bowed as he drew closer. "So that's why she called me that."

Acier did the same, but my father waved the two of us off. "You two may stand." As we did, he turned his attention from me to the noblewoman next to me. "Acier Silva, I must thank you for assisting my son with his mana training."

She shook her head, "Nonsense Your Majesty, it's an honor to train the prince!"

My father laughed. "Then consider it a debt that I will repay! Now, my boy, I heard your mana is quite impressive! Let's see it!"

I silently nodded and fell into a meditative state. At least, I tried to. My mind was in a whirlwind of thoughts so it was a little difficult to clear everything out. Slowly but surely, any and all thoughts fell away as I searched for my mana once more. Unlike last time, it didn't take long for me to find it. Despite it only being my second time doing it, I noticed my mana was a lot easier to control. It felt less like a raging torrent and more like a calm lake. "Was I on the verge of self destruction?" Nevertheless, I let the mana rush over me, like last time, but slowly. I then instinctually molded my mana into magic. I opened my eyes and sure enough, a small ball of flickering light appeared in my hand. I will admit, I was stunned. Unlike last time, it felt completely natural summoning my magic, like breathing. I was in awe.

With a wide smile, the king scooped me up, "As expected of my son! The light from the Kira bloodline is extremely prevalent in you, it seems." As he hugged me, I could smell the abundance of alcohol and sex that stuck to his clothes.

With my concentration ruined, my light disappeared. However, I was not disappointed. "Now's my chance!" In fact, I had a plan. My father set me down and I cleared my throat to get his attention. "Father, may I be able to train in this courtyard?"

The smile left and instead, an inquisitive look replacing it. "May I ask why?"

I nodded and began to explain, "Father, magic is just so interesting! Also… I like the idea of being strong. Stronger than the Wizard King!" A little fact that I didn't bring up earlier was the relationship between the actual king and the Wizard King. Because the Wizard King has so much power, both in terms of strength and politics, they are the ones seen as the true king, at least by the public. In turn, the actual kings rarely get recognition for anything (even if they don't do anything), which results in a lot of jealousy. I only learned this through the angry rants my father had with the staff of the castle, which was, in turn, gossip. People can learn many things if they simply listened. I learned that during the days of knighthood.

The king, oblivious to my thoughts, grinned wickedly, likely imagining me overthrowing the Wizard King. "Of course you can my boy! In fact, if you need anything to help, I grant you full permission to use anyone as you see fit!"

I scowled at the wording, but quickly changed it into a wide grin. "Oh thank you father!" I even gave him a quick hug to completely fool him, ignoring the scent of debauchery that lingered.

With a final farewell, the king left. Most likely to get back to lounging around all day. After he left, Acier gave me an appraising glance. "You know," she began, "you can be quite tricky if you need to be."

I laughed, "I have no idea what you're talking about! Besides, now I don't have to worry about resources regarding getting stronger!"

"It makes sense, actually. To become the best king, you need to be able to fight as well."

"I'm glad you understand. Now, what were the tips you were speaking about?"

"Right." Acier once more created a small steel ball. "You already know about using too much or too little mana, and it seems you realize you can use mana instinctually, correct?" I nodded. "And now you're aware of your magic attribute, which is light. However, there might be something you don't know about: different forms of magic. Every single spell a mage uses can be put into different categories, called forms. For example, healing spells are recognized as spells that repair physical damage or relieve exhaustion. So any spell that does those things are put into the healing category. Master mages can wield many different forms of spells, ranging from healing, to curse, to creation!"

"...I see." I did not, in fact, see. "What a shock! To think the magic of this world was so complicated and intricate, I have much to learn!" Out loud I asked, "Does that mean a light based user like me can use flame type magic with enough training?"

Acier shook her head, "Not exactly, you can't use a different attribute. A mage can only use the magic attribute they are born with. That's like attempting to drown someone in wind magic: it just doesn't work."

"… I… see?"

The noblewoman laughed and ruffled my hair, irking me once more. "Obviously you don't. Here, create a ball of light." I did as she instructed. "Now throw it at the ground." I did, and it simply shattered into pieces and disappeared. 'That's a type of creation magic, as you created a ball of light." My brows furrowed and I stared at where the ball used to be. Once more, Acier laugh caught my attention. "Make another ball and imagine it being hot enough to burn."

I raised an eyebrow at her, "Seriously?" She wordlessly beckoned me to do it. So, once more, the ball of light came into existence. However, as I kept it in my hands, I imagined it burning bright and hot, hot as the sun. I imagined it being hot enough to scorch the ground in an instant.

"Now throw it at the ground!"

I did, and it still shattered once contact was made. However, the grass was turned to ash. "Wow." I was stunned. I turned to Acier with respect and admiration in my eyes.

"Now, since light magic is an elemental variant of fire, you can use some fire techniques. You can't set a person on fire, but you can use your light magic to heat them up until they burn. Does that make sense?"

"Yes, it does. And you do all this in the middle of a battle? That's… incredible."

Her voice filled the air as she laughed again, before summoning her grimoire. "No, I don't. That's what the grimoires are for. Once we make something new, it gets added to our grimoire. Then, we can use it at an instant anytime. These are called spells." I nodded, listening intently. "However, that doesn't mean you don't do anything. You still need to use the correct amount of mana, direct the spell to where you want it to go, and do it all quick." In an instant, Acier went from wearing her average outfit, which was a long white blouse with white silky pants, into some kind of steel armor.

"Wow."

She giggled and with it, her armor dissipated. "You don't need to worry though. All you need to do is practice. When you get your grimoire at fifteen, all the spells you've made, and maybe a little more, will already be pages within it. All you need to do right now is learn how to control the amount of mana you have!"

I absorbed everything she had said quietly. Experimentally, I created a small ball of light. Then, I willed it to change form, slowly going from a ball to a small dagger. Then, pushing more mana into it, the dagger grew more and more. Finally, it turned into what I was wishing for: a great sword. Excitement filled me as I reached to grab it…

"ALBIN!"

Only for the sword to shatter into a bunch of tiny shards and dissipate, and with it, my earlier excitement.

Acier laughed out loud at the visual disappointment written all over my face. "No matter how talented you are Kira, you can't make a perfect weapon with two days of practice!" The noblewoman got up from her seat and began to walk away. "Anyways, I have to go. The Silver Eagles needs their captain! Good luck Kira!" And with that, she was gone.

In my mind, I agreed with her statement. "At the moment, my mana is too unstable to create what I wish. I suppose the first step is to properly stabilize the mana within myself before I attempt to make anything. Once I do that, I should be able to make any kind of weapon or spell from light." Thus started my endeavor of taming the wild mana within me.

I spent quite a few hours, from lunch till dinnertime, practicing my magic in silence. My focus, however, was waning. As the sun began to set, and the silence as my company, a memory from a life long before this one began to surface.

I remember practicing daily with my great sword. Just like any other day, I was in the training grounds. With sweat dripping down my face and my muscles burning, I finished my final set of swings for the hour.

"Albin my friend! You have been here for too long!" I turned to face my fellow knight and friend, Brutus. He was a big man with a big personality, and had an even bigger voice. Always joyful, he could grant a smile to even the most scarred of knights. His arms, thicker than tree trunks, were always there to lift one up when they were at their lowest. Brutus was a good man, a man better than me. "Come inside and rest! You never know when you might be called!"

I rolled my eyes but lowered my weapon. "Called to kill more innocents?" I shot back, "Or to defend more nobles that have no understanding of war?"

Brutus guffawed, "You are too negative my friend!" He threw his arm over my shoulders and gave a wide smile. "Every time you leave, you go on an adventure! You explore places you've never seen, or visit old places filled with memories! Why tarnish them with horrid outlooks?!"

I chuckled, "Fair enough my friend." I wiped the sweat off my brow. "Alright Brutus, I will rest." Shrugging off his arm off, I began to walk to the mess hall for food. "But you owe me a drink!"

The giant of a man simply laughed, "Of course! All of the drinks will be on me today!" All knights that heard his statement cheered out loud and rushed to the mess hall.

The very next day, he was called to fight on the front lines. I never saw him again.

I opened my eyes. Once more, I was laying on the ground. It seemed that I still had a long way to go.

The next few months after that day seemed to blur, truth be told. I did nothing but eat, sleep, and train. Acier would stop by every now and then under the excuse of assisting me, but I believed she just wanted someone to take care of before she had her own kids. As much as it irked me, as I was much older than her, I allowed her to continue her visits. She would show me more tips and tricks, such as finding out what forms I had affinity for, which were creation and communication magic, and other little things to note. However, throughout it all, my magic continued to be incredibly unstable.

"Okay, one more time Kira! Create a great sword!" Acier demanded. We were practicing my control once more, with the two of us on the courtyard once more. I was standing in the middle of the yard while she was sitting on a nearby bench. I followed her instructions and created a large great sword, extremely reminiscent of my old weapon from my knight days. "Now imagine it as strong as a sword! No, stronger than a sword! Imagine it being unbreakable!" I closed my eyes and did as she demanded once more, and imagined my sword being tougher than bedrock, and sharper than steel. "Alright, open your eyes!" Finally, my sight returned. In front of me was my own great sword made of light magic. Staring at it intently, I slowly reached for it. However, right as my fingers brushed against the hilt, my concentration was broken.

"Albin!"

I spun around to cut down the man that attempted to sneak up on me. I turned towards my comrade and gave him a nod. He returned it and soon enough we were slicing through the horde once more. I blocked, parried, cut, and slashed as I fought to survive this sudden ambush.

"GRIVVEN, NO!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Grivven, a good drinking buddy of mine, get impaled on an enemy's sword. Enraged, I rushed over and decapitated the man without hesitation. Immediately after, I picked Grivven up into my arms. "You're going to be fine. You hear me?! Fine I say!"

The dying man gave a raspy chuckle, "And I was doing so good. Heh, you think there's heaven for a man like me?"

I instantly nodded, "Of course there is! You fought to protect us! Our kingdom! You're a hero!"

The brave and honorable knight gave a small smile. He closed his eyes.

He didn't open them.

I felt a hand grip my shoulder. "Kira, are you alright?"

"What?"

"I said are you alright?" Standing in front of me, Acier Silva had a worried look on her face. "Your concentration broke again, and you were staring off into nothing."

I was in the courtyard. I nodded. "Sorry, I was just frustrated," I lied. I then gave a small sigh, "I haven't been improving lately and it's been getting to me. What should I do?"

The leader of the Silver Eagles didn't look entirely convinced, but continued on anyways. "Well, cases like these are either because of a mental blockage, a general bad control of mana, or just pure inexperience. You have great control of your mana, and you've been practicing for months..." The final option, the obvious right one, in the air.

"I see. I'll have to practice more," I reasoned. I then gave Acier a quick bow. "Thank you for coming over once more, Acier. It's always much more enjoyable when I have someone to talk to."

She gave a small smile. "Of course. If there's anything you need to talk about, you do know you can come to me, right?"

"Of course. I believe it is time for me to retire for the day, though. Once more, thank you for assisting me today. Have a good evening." Without looking back, I walked away.

I already knew what was happening. I knew that the memories of my old life, the memories that made me into the man I am today, were haunting me. I knew that the weight of death was weighing on me, heavier than the world. I knew that I was being a coward, refusing to pick up a weapon once more for the fear of dying again! "I know that!" Blinking, I realized I was once more in my room. Without even realizing it, I had walked back to my room and shut the door behind me. With a heavy sigh, one too heavy for a nearly six year old boy to have, I collapsed into my bed. "...I know I need to fight once more… but how?" Tears began to fall down my face. "How can I can go back…?" For the first time in almost six years, despair had clenched my heart and didn't let go.

I cried to sleep that night.