Chapter 3
III
Theodore Nott liked spending his days at the Dark Side of the Moon. If his father knew his pureblooded son shared his oxygen with dirty and inferior muggles, he'd have a stroke — not that Theo would feel or mind the difference if Nott sr. Left for the great beyond: he already took care of himself on his own with the help of the house elves and he'd inherit the Nott's fortune which would support him financially till the end of his wizarding life. Still, for all that his father didn't care about him — worse, he acted as if he had never had a son, Theo was sure he would have taken a sudden, but short lived and mostly unwelcomed, interest in his only child's life, just to bring him back on the righteous path. After having lectured his son, possibly employing questionable educative methods, Nott sr. Would have gone back to the usual ignoring and disappearing. Theo would never trade his secret for a single minute of his father's fake attention. He guessed his birth had been a sound deceipt for the Nott family. Purebloods expected their offsprings to be perfect; the males were supposed to carry on the family legacy with decorum and proper social rigidity, schooling their faces in a perpetually disdainful expression and keeping up their air of superiority at all times.
But, as the Handbook for the Magical Traveller and audacious Explorer says, not all floos lead somewhere. Theo had been wrong even before he had been delivered to the world. He was expected for February 1980. Instead, he had played a trick on his mother, deciding he had had enough of her womb far too early. On the twelth of October, 1979, he had stubbornly manifested his intention to get out — the first sign he was going to be a precocious child. He had spent months at st. Mungo's, protected from the outside world. His healer had been Sirius Black, a man who had disappeared from the face of the earth along with James Potter on the night the Dark Lord had attacked the Potters. Theo knew the name of the healer who had taken care of him for almost a year because it was written on his personal hospital dossier. Said dossier was in Theo's bedroom, the only place in Nott's manor his belongings were allowed to take up space; It was sad healer Black had disappeared. He had done an amazing job with Theo: he wished to say 'thank you' to the man who had replaced his useless parents whose only contribution had been to offer Theo shelter at Nott Manor when he had been finally deemed fit to go home. It was healer Black who came and fed the small child, as Black's notes clearly stated in the dossier. Theo didn't remember anything in particular, but he recalled his voice talking, keeping him company, Theo guessed, exposing him to the human language, while his fragile body grabbed at the few inches of life it was offered. Sirius Black, healer prodigy, had saved Theo's earing, lungs, arms, legs and, most importantly, Theo's brain. What was not possible to save were his eyes and so the baby had been born blind and blind he would remain.
Theo had been left in the care of Nott's family house elves and had been educated by Bill Weasley, of all people. It was Theo who had decided he needed a tutor at the age of six; his father hadn't even tried to assign him some older offsprings of Nott sr. Inner circle, fearing the shame that would befall on his prestigious family if Theo's secret was exposed. Apparently, the official story of Theo's life was that he was a sickly boy, falling ill easily, with a health as fragile as an autumn leaf. His father hadn't offered to look for somebody else either; but Theo was a resourceful lad and he had just asked one of the elves to write down a letter for him. Then, he had sent an owl to Hogwarts with his message with the instructions of delivering it to someone who could help. He had no idea on who might receive it; he hadn't many hopes his request would catch a professor's eye — he didn't count on a student to care about his pityful predicament. However, despite his bleack previsions, two days later, Hogwarts' deputy headmistress professor Minerva McGonagall, head of Gryfindor house, had knoked on his door. She had introduced herself and he had let her in.
Theo had been pleased to hear disappointment and disapproval in her voice, when he had innocently told her the few instructions his father had left him with. Theo could use the family money of course, he would not allow his son to be ignorant in addition to being bodily damaged.
The professor had listened in silence to his requests and suggested a bright student who was in his fourth year and who would take his job very seriously.
Theo had learnt his maths and his potions basics. Bill didn't know a spell to allow him to read, but he had gathered precious information from some muggleborns he knew at school and had discovered the Braille alphabet.
Theo had been directed to a muggle retired blind lady who used to teach history and literature at some muggle higher education institute and she had taught him how to read. Meanwhile, Bill had gone through relevant books with no encouraging results. There were no spells that could turn the printed or handwritten words into Braille and viceversa. And so, a massive research had started, to invent a spell that would enable him to read. Theo knew most of the credit went to the Ravenclaw head of house — a house he'd very much like to get sorted into once he'd go to Hogwarts.
He had learnt to cast the spell wandlessly, because he wasn't allowed to purchase a wand until he'd receive his Hogwart's letter; it had been challenging but he had embraced the arduous task with vigor and determination, intent on mastering the spell perfectly and to prove to himself, to Bill and to the Hogwarts professors he was smart and worth the time and effort they had invested in helping him. Deceiving those who believed in him and who cared was equal to casting an unforgivable, Theo felt.
Now that Bill was out of school and in the hands of the goblins for his cursebreaker apprenticeship, he had entrusted Theo to the capable hands of his younger brother, Charlie, who was planning to leave for Romania to study and work with dragons once he'd finish Hogwarts. At that time, Theo would finally start his magical education at the school: he had learnt more than was needed about potions, charms, defence against the dark arts, history of magic, magical creatures and transfiguration. The Weasley brothers had insisted he'd learn the wand movements of several spells and with good reason: it would give Theo a significant advantage during classes, where he would not receive special attention from the professors, who had to carefully watch over the whole group of students. Moreover, Hogwarts didn't have tutors — older and talented students who could assist younger ones who needed some form of help. Theo spoke parseltongue and this fact was known by his two private tutors and by the professors. It was a relief for them to know he had a guide snake who could help him to move around the castle, which wasn't at all friendly. It was a sentient building and liked playing tricks on innocent students; and that was without considering impromptu duels in the corridors, the pranks wars and Peeves.
In spite of Theo's abilities, Charlie had told him the teaching staff was thinking off some ways to involve older students to assist him. He had displayed a fair amount of honesty, when he had declared the houses most likely to offer him help were the hufflepuffs and the ravenclaws. slytherins would never lower themselves to such a plebeian task even if he was a Nott and the gryffindors, unfortunately — it pained Charlie to admit it but frankness was one of his strongest qualities — wouldn't even notice him and wouldn't consider helping him as something worth of a bravery display.
When Theo had turned his first page into Braille he had been so happy, displaying a smile so wide it wanted to reach his ears and to transcend his mouth.
He had explored the Nott's library and the few scrolls he had found in his bedroom and that was how he had stumbled upon his hospital dossier. Reading his healer's notes had been the first time he had discovered so much about his own history — of course nobody would tell him if he asked. The only family heritage he was proud and glad that it had been passed onto him was the ability to speak parseltongue, the language of serpents — he owned a magical Snake who had become his guide snake — he had discovered some blind muggles owned a guide dog but they couldn't have a proper conversation with their four pawed companion. The parseltongue came from his mother's side. She was a stern nordic woman who came from a noble family of Sweden. She came from the cold north and she hadn't been a warm person. She shared her husband's belief that Theo had been a disgrace to their family and would lead to the downfall of the Nott name in the years to come. Theo's parents didn't want their son to go to Hogwarts and were planning on hiring someone to homeschool him till he could take his OWLS and NEWTS as a private student. However, his mother had passed away when he was four and his father had just gone on with his life away from home, never mentioning school again, not that he mentioned many things the few days he spent at home during a solar year.
Theo's muggle teacher hadn't stopped at the alphabet: she had taught him how to use the white cane and she had lent him all sort of books: poetry, novels, classical theatrical pieces. He had learnt to know Lewis Carroll, Roald Dahl, Louisa May Alcott and so many more wonderful writers with their fascinating stories.
She had been the one who had directed him to The Dark Side of the Moon, once it had opened. "You would meet young people you could make friends with," she had said.
Theo doubted he'd be able to make friends. He was withdrawn and solitary, but had started going to the bar anyway. He liked the quiet and subdued atmosphere you breathed down there. He liked the music that played in the background. He had fallen in love with an English band called Pink Floid. He dreamt to fly on the notes of 'Confortably Numb' and he thought about himself versus those who had the gift of sight or about the muggles versus wizards when 'Us and Them' played. He loved that saxophone and its gentle caresses.
He had made two friends, although they all kept things impersonal; it didn't matter to Theo. They had some interests in common and they were all up to date with what was happening in the world. He knew about Hermione's scar, although he had been told by miss Stanton what had happened to the girl; Harry was even more mystherious. He slid like a fish, but was a nice lad who liked reading and worked hard to earn his drinks. Among the three of them, he was the only one who was struggling with money. There must be some differences among us, Theo thought. We are three lonely young ones who are unloved and have found shelter in a place that has become our secret heaven on a mercyless earth. Theo had a feeling either Harry or Hermione, or even the both of them, had some magic within them — he could feel a change in the surrounding energy when a wizard was around, but when you were so young as they all were it flickered so much he didn't trust himself.
There's a chance I might lose them when I go to Hogwarts; because I will go; I am not planning on staying at home and being a homeschooled reject who hides in his manor for fear of bringing shame on his family.
Families are such a stupid concept, Theo had concluded. The purebloods made a massive deal out of them, spending afternoons looking at family trees and boasting about their purity, about their pureblooded ties and alliances; but Theodore Nott had lost his naiveté when he had lost his sight. Well, he had never had his sight in the first place, so he supposed he had never had an inch of naiveté within himself either.
But when he felt particularly sad and lonely, when he felt his burden was compressing him, he imagined there were people who cared around him; he imagined he had a place he belonged to, a place with people that felt like family, because they loved him unconditionally and accepted him for who he was and as he was; a place where there were people who asked you how you were doing and where they would hug you if you cried and gently dried your tears from your eyes.
Wishful thinking, Theo sighed, while the instrumental introduction of 'Time' by the Pink Floid ran in the background. I love this cynical song, he thought, sipping his pineapple juice.