"Yes, sire," Merlin said, and it sounded like a warning.
Arthur noted, with some satisfaction, that the man was getting perilously close to his tether. He'd been needling him all day in hopes of forcing him to explode and break the tension that had been building after a week of losing patrols and supplies to Morgana with no idea how she was tracking them.
If Merlin hadn't fallen asleep last night they might've gotten eyes on her and finally had a clue, but no. He claimed Morgana had knocked him out with magic, but that seemed like an excuse to Arthur, so he felt rather justified in his needling. Still, Merlin had returned from the trip in as foul a temper as Arthur had ever seen him in, responding to Arthur's prodding through gritted teeth.
The men standing around Arthur's table arguing about trade routes were his closest knights, none who would expect Merlin to be punished for insolence, so really this was a victimless crime.
"Merlin, make yourself useful for once and pass me that map."
"What, are your arms broken?" Merlin snapped.
There it was. Activity in Arthur's chambers stopped as all the knights prepared for a show. Merlin's temper tantrums were as eagerly anticipated as they were rare, not to mention they were often the subject of some amount of betting.
"Pardon me?" Arthur asked. "Would you like to try that again?"
"Would you like me to cut your food for you too, sire?" Leon barked out a laugh, failing to conceal it with a cough.
"I'm not sure I follow you, Merlin."
"Well that wouldn't be the first time would it?" Arthur was a little pissed off by the way Elyan and Gwaine choked on their drinks and ducked down to conceal their faces.
"Merlin, is there something bothering you?"
"It's just that you don't seem to be able to do anything for yourself these days. Pass me that paper, Merlin; fetch my sword, Merlin; take my watch for me, Merlin."
"I am the King, Merlin, though it may have escaped your notice. I get to tell people what to do, it's my job. Your job is to do whatever I tell you to do, whenever I tell you to do it. Would you care for an example?"
"Something tells me I'm about to get one regardless."
"Right you are, Merlin, now go and polish my armor and sharpen my sword. See how that works?"
"Of course, I see a helpless man who can't do anything for himself."
Percival pressed his lips between his teeth to conceal his smile as Merlin strode toward the door.
"At least I can hold my own during a fight! What, were you cowering behind a tree during the fight for the supplies and miss everything?" Arthur called after him. Merlin shot a look so nasty over his shoulder Arthur thought it was a wonder it didn't burn him. "What's the matter, Merlin, afraid of a little bit of hard work?" He taunted, out of a morbid curiosity to see how far he could push the man.
This, apparently, had been the wrong thing to say. Merlin's entire aspect changed, his spine straightened, permanently slouched shoulders lifting. The knights all shifted in alarm, reacting to this change in Merlin. None of them had ever seen this expression on Merlin's face before. He opened his mouth to say something that would probably get him executed by any other king, but just then the chamber door burst open and a hooded and masked man rushed in.
Arthur watched in horror as Merlin reached out to grab him and, as quick as lightning, the man punched a dagger into Merlin's side. The knights shouted in alarm, drawing their swords as the assassin turned back toward Arthur.
Or tried to anyway.
Without flinching Merlin grabbed the man by the collar and jerked him back. He didn't even seem to have register that he'd been stabbed, he just looked more livid than ever as he knocked the dagger out of the assassin's hands. Before any of the knights had taken the first step Merlin had wrapped his arm around the man's throat and twisted hard.
A familiar and terrible crack echoed off the walls of the council chambers as Merlin dropped the corpse like it was garbage with a sound of disgust. Silence rang loudly through the room as the knights reeled in shock.
Had they… just watched Merlin snap a man's neck? With his bare hands?
"Bayard, again," Merlin growled as he pulled a commission letter from the dead man's robes. He rolled his eyes like he'd experienced nothing more than an annoyance as he tossed the letter onto the table and turned his ire towards Arthur.
"I'll be in the armory, attempting to learn the meaning of hard work."
Merlin stormed out of the room, trailing blood, leaving silence in his wake.
"Why do I get the feeling that wasn't his first kill?" Elyan said, sounding thunderstruck.
Arthur looked around the room, only Guinevere and Gwaine didn't look like their entire worldviews had been altered.
"I doubt he's even realized he's been stabbed yet," Gwaine said, sheathing his sword and making to follow him.
"Oh no," Gwen said, bustling around Arthur, "he'll probably collapse before he realises."
The two of them strode out of the room, followed closely by the rest of the knights, following the trail of blood all the way to the armory, where Merlin sat in near darkness, polishing armor furiously.
He looked up at them when they entered, face still set in anger.
"What now? Was I meant to clear up the body too? Or did I forget to polish your boots?"
"Merlin, are you alright?" Gwen asked gently, stepping out in front of the others.
"Yeah, Gwen, I'm great," Merlin said, speaking more gently to her than he had to the group, "I love serving a giant arsehole day in and day out. I don't know why you married him."
"You realize that you've been stabbed, mate?" Gwaine interrupted, apparently unable to keep his mouth shut any longer.
Merlin didn't even look up. "No I haven't."
"Yes, Merlin, you have," Percival said.
"We followed your blood trail here," Leon added.
"You're actually still bleeding," Elyan finished, reaching out like he wanted to help but was suddenly afraid that he might bite.
Merlin looked down at himself after rolling his eyes again, staring blankly at the growing bloodstain on his side. There was a collective intake of breath from the knights. They'd seen any number of reactions to such a situation. Anything from panic, to immediately fainting to-
"Fantastic. What a great day."
Not that.
He reached out and snatched a long polishing cloth off the table next to him and tied it tightly around his middle, stuffing a spare rag underneath before returning to his angry polishing.
"Merlin, you need Gaius. You could die if you don't get to him soon."
"I'm fine." This, at least, was more chartered territory.
"Actually you're not. People die from wounds like this all the time, I've seen it all on the battlefield, you know," Leon said, trying to play mediator.
"Really, Leon, please tell me, a trained healer, how much death and injury you think you've seen. Please. I'm fascinated." Leon blinked.
Merlin looked up and fixed Leon with an expectant stare. When no response came he sprang up and strode to the cabinet to reach for more polish. When he turned to go back to his seat he swayed dangerously and knocked into a rack of swords. The knights all rushed forward at once, bottleneck in the cramper armory. Only Gwen and Gwaine, who had entered the room ahead of the rest, made it to Merlin's side in time to catch him.
"Merlin, we're taking you to see Giaus."
"No, I'm fine."
"Merlin, please, look at you!" Gwen pleaded. "We're trying to help!"
"I'm fine."
"I can't believe I have to say this, Merlin, but I'm ordering you to get your wound tended to. Come."
He extricated himself from the clot of knights and opened the door, allowing the strange procession to exit the armory. And so they traipsed across the castle, with a wounded servant suspended between the Queen of Camelot and Sir Gwaine, bleeding all over Gwenivere's dress, with the King striding out in front of them, occasionally casting glances over his shoulder.
"Gaius, it's an emergency!" Arthur declared, slamming open the door.
"What is it, your majesty?" His eyes strayed from Arthur to Merlin as he was half carried in, still muttering dejectedly.
"There was an attack, Merlin's been stabbed."
"Lightly stabbed," Merlin snapped. Gaius sighed exasperatedly.
"Oh, Merlin, not again."
Arthur's jaw dropped.
Again?