Hi there! This fic is crossposted from AO3, where I am most active. the full title is "Hojo-Crescent, Sephiroth. "Mako-Humans: Electricity and the Posthuman Condition". 1997. U. Midgar Press, (Midgar)." but as you may have guessed FFN doesn't allow for such a long title. I'm going to try to be on top of updating here at the same time as on AO3, but I'm not on FFN a lot, and as such if you're eager for updates you'll always see them there first. No worries about comments though - I have notifications turned on, and I check my email regularly, so I'll always see those even if I neglect FFN.
My first thought when I realised what had really happened was to pout about Professor Hojo. Difficult as it might be to believe, he hadn't always been as hideous as he'd been in the Remake, and whether it was Sephiroth, Vincent, or Hojo, I was weak to a fucked up dude with long hair. My second thought was to scoff, once again, at the whole convoluted backstory of Lucrecia and Vincent and Hojo. My third thought was to curse, loudly. I didn't fucking want to be a timebomb. I didn't want to be a puppet to an alien lady. More than that, I didn't want to be a soldier and I didn't want to kill people for the sake of capitalism.
It was only after my stupid brain had finished thinking impure thoughts about hot anime bishies and contemplating the themes of the narrative that I actually slowed down, thought about the gravity of my situation, and started screaming.
I was now Sephiroth, age six months, and somewhere in the same building as me, a bunch of shitty scientists who worked for a mega-corporation who had never heard of anything resembling an ethics committee were probably right this moment thinking up stupid, horrible things to do with Mako and J cells.
I had never subscribed to the perspective that Sephiroth grew up as a sort of tortured lab specimen, not let out of his cell until age twelve so that he might be sent to kill people. But then, I'd always thought Sephiroth was the first SOLDIER, and clearly going by a stupid battle royale video game I'd never now play this was not the case. Anyhow, I was clearly sleeping in a standard if plain baby crib decorated with my name and a tastefully discrete Shinra logo, in a room with a seemingly normal array of things around me. A colourful baby mobile hung above my crib, rotating lazily. I was cuddled up to a stuffed chocobo, which looked like it had probably been new when I got it but which had been battered thoroughly by my superhuman baby strength. The room was a soothing blue-green, with an accent wall that was a mural of the ocean. Neat shelves of baby books and educational toys lined one corner, a tidy changing station another, and a closet along one wall probably held my clothes. I was in a comfortable blue onesie patterned with white stars and moons.
A baby brain wasn't developed enough to hold a full adult's memories. That was probably why I'd just come to. While it was possible that I had just randomly landed in Sephiroth's head as a baby, unprovoked, it was probably likelier that I'd been here all along. The environment was familiar to me, though I'd never consciously considered it before, and when a motherly woman in her late twenties appeared and began to fuss over me, I recognised her instinctively and reached my arms out for comfort. She picked me up, held me securely as she checked my diaper, checked her watch, then took one breast out of the kimono-y breastfeeding top that made such an action convenient, then mushed her nipple against my mouth. Mortifyingly, I was so startled that I actually let my instincts take over and began to suckle. It was only after I gulped down a few mouthfuls that I realised what I was doing and turned my head away. She tried to get me to latch a few more times when I whined and squirmed against her side, then put the offending appendage away and began to rock me and to pat me on my back rhythmically. I wanted to object to this undignified form of physical comfort, but the body was obviously used to this. My panic quieted down with the rhythmic rocking, and each firm pat made my eyes droop lower and lower. The whole time, she was cooing to me in a low soothing voice.
"There there," she said, "oh we"re upset, aren't we. Oh good boy, oh darling baby boy, you're so sweet. It's okay to not be hungry, we can have a snack later when you're feeling better. Oh, that's it, that's it sweetie. Yes, we"re feeling a bit better after a nice cry aren't we? There there sh shh shhhh."
And she continued like that, chattering to me and shushing me and comforting me until my baby body got so tired that even the strength of my shock and terror couldn't keep me awake any more.
I did not consciously surface for another two months. The next time I was truly awake, I had another tantrum about it, and the exhausted wet nurse slash nanny seemed to have been expecting such a thing. I learned from her patient but weary soothing chatter that I'd been doing that a lot lately. I briefly theorised that baby brains weren't well developed enough to hold an adult consciousness, and so I'd probably been waking up and getting upset then forgetting it immediately. I quietened down immediately after that, and even forced myself to be the picture of obliging as she fed me. I was too well raised and too working class to ever be rude to a service worker.
I did not snap to consciousness again after that. Instead I began to truly wake up, in the sense that my awareness trickled slowly to life in the period of several months, and by the time Sephiroth was two years old, I was always awake and aware and in charge. I supposed the J cells probably helped his development or something.
It was in these months that I learned more about my situation. I seemed to be living in the Shinra Mansion in Nibelheim. My caregiver often brought me to the window to look outside, and seemed to plan regular outings for me to toddle around in the dirt and play. Other than a propensity for jotting down a note every time she fed me or changed me or if I did anything of note developmentally, she was epitome of a good caretaker. I later discovered that she was both a highly trained and well certified caregiver as well as possessing a doctor of developmental psychology and a medical doctorate focusing on pediatrics. The doctorates had been her own areas of interest, but she'd gotten the child care certifications in order to be able to take charge of any possible living specimens produced by project J. Presumably Doctor Tachibana had been lowering herself to vocational college courses about changing diapers and making up milk bottles during the time that both she and Lucrecia were pregnant.
Doctor Tachibana organised occasional play dates with other toddlers and children. There were a few children at the manor, children of the scientists and Shinra personnel, plus another baby who was a test subject. The play-dates with the regular children were fine if stilted, since I wasn't a real toddler, but my limited encounters with Subject Y...
Well.
In order to nurse me, Doctor Tachibana had obviously had to have recently given birth. That child had been Subject Y. Doctor Tachibana had cooed, as I was obediently drinking from an expertly made up bottles that I was a good sweet boy and that we would be going to go have a play with her own good sweet boy, and my new friend Subject Y.
"He's your age, you know," she murmured as she brushed out my chin length hair. It was already astonishingly thick and silky. "Both of you are already doing so much for scientist advancement."
I looked her on the eye, my pale catlike eyes wide and guileless, and asked, "like Gass an JoJo?"
"Yes, that's right Sephiroth," she praised warmly. "Both of you are helping scientists like Doctor Hojo and Doctor Gast."
That she said nothing of herself I didn't really care. Maybe she didn't want me to associate her with scientific study. Maybe she wasn't studying me. Maybe taking down data and taking care of me was the extent of her employment. I didn't care.
"See su-ject Y," I said firmly.
"Subject," she said to me, clearly and slowly.
"Subject," I repeated back.
"Very good!" She cooed again, and gave me a kiss on the cheek.
I visited the basement labs every other Wednesday so that Doctor Tachibana could take measurements that required specialised equipment. I also saw Gast and Hojo during these times. Gast treated me as if I was just a co-worker's kid here on a fun excursion, even as he was ordering tests or whatever, and Hojo always stared at me with those beady eyes of his, and, when left alone with me, would mutter about how I was such a perfect specimen and some of his finest work. Doctor Crescent, who shared the facility, was notably never around.
I never saw the gruesome stuff, and I never met any other products of the labs. Until now, that was. I toddled along at Doctor Tachibana's heels, a yellow ribbon that I had insisted on tying my hair up into a high ponytail. She led me past the examination rooms and the X-Ray and MRI and ultrasound rooms, past Doctor Gast's personal lab with the racks and racks of mysterious proteases. I took a moment to vaguely wonder if anyone knew what a CRISPR was in this godforsaken universe.
We finally came to a break room, the one the more important scientists used. Hojo was in a corner, a clipboard and pen ready at hand as he peered at the door then immediately zeroed in on me.
"Hojo!" I cried joyfully, then sprinted towards him as fast as my little legs could carry me.
"Hello, Sephiroth," Hojo said, maintaining an air of scientific detachment even as his eyes bored into me and he seemed to be trying to x-ray me with nothing but sheer willpower.
"I'm playing with specimen Y" I announced firmly. "Tachi said."
"Yes, that is why you are here. And I and Doctor Tachibana will be here to observe you while you do. Why don't you go introduce yourself to Specimen Y first?"
I beamed at him and Tachibana, then turned towards the toddler currently exploring the cleanliness of the carpeting.
"Hewwo!" I chirped as I approached the little toddler. Subject Y had black hair with silver streaks, and two cat-slit eyes that, unlike my own, were glowing eerie and red.
"H'lo," he mumbled shyly, not looking at me.
"Subject Y, this is Sephiroth. Sephiroth, this is Subject Y." Doctor Tachibana introduced us encouragingly, and gave me a tiny push in his direction.
"Are you Tachi's baby?" I demanded, since I delighted in stating uncomfortable truths.
"His mother is Jenova, just like you, Sephiroth," Tachibana answered. "But I did grow him inside me, yes."
I turned my head to stare at her in disbelief. Then, remembering that I was a toddler, I said to Subject Y, "how come your name is Subject Y?"
"It's a nickname," Tachibana spoke for him again. "You know, like how I call you Subject S or Sephy sometimes. His full name is Yuuki."
"Kay," I said doubtfully. "Hi Yuuki."
Subject Y, or Yuuki, rather, beamed at me. "Hi Sephy," he said. "Hi Sephy! Hi Sephy!"
I didn't know enough about echolalia to determine whether this was unusual for a toddler.
"What do you play?" I asked, magnanimously.
"I play with mama," he said. He turned and stared off into the distance at some direction. "Mama plays with me."
I stared at him, then in the direction he was looking at.
Tachibana made a noise of alarm, and I heard Hojo pick up the break room phone and dial the extension for Gast.
"What do you play with your mama then?" I demanded. "I wanna play with her too."
"Reunion," the kid said, clearly and loudly. "Reunion," he repeated. "Mother wants reunion, Sephiroth. Come to Reunion."
Hojo made a choked noise and hung up the phone. Tachibana picked me up and took several steps back. Hojo picked up Yuuki.
"Well, now," Hojo said to Yuuki. "you've never mentioned that to me before, m'boy,
"What's Reunion?" I asked loudly, twisting in Tachibana's grip to stare at Yuuki. Hojo was powerwalking out of the room with Yuuki under one arm, calling for the hovering assistants peering through the door to prepare the reactor laboratories and to fetch a copy of the data tables of all the Reunion J-cell culture tests.
The play-date was cancelled after that.
Fortunately, I got to see Yuuki again, and quite frequently too. Our checkups now often coincided, and Tachibana and Hojo delighted in testing me alone then repeating their tests with Yuuki in the room. I was instructed to attempt to telepathically contact Yuuki, which I pretended to do to no avail. Yuuki now walked around with a sort of metal contraption around his head at all times, presumably measuring his brainwaves.
The excitement in the air was palpable. Gast was the only one who wasn't frothing at the mouth. Unfortunately, the excitement was cut short fairly soon after.
You're sad about Yuuki's science," I said to Gast, in one of the times where we were relatively alone. He was walking me to Hojo's office while Tachibana and Hojo had a fierce argument over what caused Yuuki to dissolve into a mass of feathers, goo, and writing tentacles. Yuuki was still wailing in fear and pain as I was picked up and forcibly removed from the checkup room earlier that day. The tug of Reunion was so strong that I was squirming towards him with all my might anyways. Yuuki's screaming cut off before Gast managed to tug me away, and the tug of Reunion slackened, returning only to that distant compass-draw towards the reactor. The shrill scream of medical and scientific machinery was deafening, and I had to cover my eyes and wait until the resuscitation efforts were given up for good. Gast had found me hiding in a corner, crying, and lead me out away while Tachibana and Hojo argued and the team of peons that assisted them loaded the mako tube with Yuuki's blobby tentacley remains onto a pushcart, presumably destined for a specimen storage room or for the reactor labs.
Gast sighed and gave me a fatherly ruffle of my beautiful, silky hair.
"He did something unexpected, that's all."
"But you're not happy like Hojo and Tachibana," I pointed out. "Did he disprove your hypothesis?"
Gast smiled helplessly, charmed as I demonstrated my precociousness.
"I'm beginning to suspect I've fundamentally misidentified the nature of our main specimen," Gast sighed. "Cetra shouldn't... Oh, what am I saying. It's nothing, Sephiroth."
"It's okay, Professor Gast," I said consolingly. "No need to be down. Maybe if your specimen isn't what you think it is, then you've discovered something new altogether! Maybe you'll have another organism named after you!"
The scientific name for the Ancients was homo sapiens faremis, after all.
"You're a sweet boy, Sephiroth..." Gast tucked a chunk of my bangs behind my ears and squeezed me into a hug. "You're a sweet boy," he repeated, seemingly to himself. I was always down for a hug, and squeezed back. I was strong enough to give good hugs now. After a long minute of him nuzzling my hair and breathing wetly onto the crown of my head, he straightened and lead me the rest of the way to the office.
I was left there with some apple chunks, a bottle of water, and some activities books for children twice my age.
"Doctor Gast," I said, not looking up from my colouring book. "Even if you depart amicably, Hojo may still come after you with that shotgun of his. Especially if you end up finding a viable specimen of an actual Cetra. He'd definitely be willing to kill for something like that."
Gast froze, staring at me. I gave him a guileless smile and returned to my colouring. After a long moment, he stuttered out, "w-what?"
But no matter what he asked, I refused to look away from my colouring. Eventually he gave up and left.
The next time Tachibana took me to the basement labs, Gast was nowhere to be found.
I drooped. I'd known this was coming, of course, but that did not make it easier. He was the most well adjusted adult in my life, except for maybe the local man who delivered groceries from the town sometimes, but as I saw that dude only though my window once every few days, I didn't really know him well enough to be sure.