A/N: Phew, nothing medically graphic in here, thank goodness. We're through some of the more harrowing bits, yay!
Perhaps it was the organ transplant. Perhaps it was the mako. Perhaps it was the stress and the altered state of mind. Whatever the case, when I returned to consciousness after passing out in that horrible tank, I did not awaken straightaway. No. I drifted out of the blissful cradle of unconsciousness, and found myself floating in that lax grey nothing that enveloped me when I was telepathically opening up mind.
Lucrecia appeared before me, weeping.
"Sephiroth," she sobbed. "Sephiroth, my poor baby, what has he done to you?"
One version of her held me in her arms, while another was frozen in a pillar of crystal not far away. Both versions had tears rolling down their faces.
I curled myself up and buried my face into her arms.
"He's trying to transcend the bounds of humanity," I answered. "Project S, stage three."
"No," Lucrecia said wildly. "No! You're not supposed to be further modified!"
"Plans for Project S changed after Gast left," I said. "He tried to keep it from you, probably. Jenova isn't a Cetra, and Hojo realised it eventually. So instead of a prophet for the Promised Land, I am to become a warrior-god. I am to join SOLDIER once I've completed my acclimatisation period."
Lucrecia wept bitterly. Her long brown hair pooled down over her shoulders and mingled with my own silver strands. I stayed still and let her hold me, feeling cold.
"It's alright, Lucrecia," I said after some time. "I want the power. I need it, to put an end to Shinra once and for all. All of this. Project S. Project G. Deepground and Project Y and Project Dusk. All of it. The mako reactors. The dying earth. The failing crops. The monsters. Jenova. All of it. I need to stop it. I have to- I have to stop it. It's my purpose. I was put on this world to- I need to be Sephiroth if I'm going to stop it all. I can't leave it to-"
My throat closed up. Lucrecia stroked a hand through my limp, tangled hair.
"I can't leave it to others," I said, slowly and clearly. "I can't leave it until Wutai happens, or Nibelheim, or Meteor. I can't let it get that bad. I can't keep being complicit. I won't keep being complicit. I- I- I'm going to make it happen. Somehow. I swear. It's my job. I have to do it. I have to-" I shuddered, face wet. "I'm going to do it."
"I..." Lucrecia sighed and kissed my forehead. I felt a wave of sudden homesick longing. I wanted my mother. I wanted my real mother. "So you have seen visions of the destruction to come as well. I don't know why you think you must be the one to prevent them, Sephiroth. You're only a child," she murmured. "Come to me. We can run from them together."
I squeezed my eyes shut. "We can run, but we can't hide," I said. "When the earth is empty and Jenova has triumphed, it won't matter if we are in Midgar or hidden deep within a cave. It's my duty, and beyond that, it's my calling. I'm going to put an end to Shinra, one way or another. You know the consequences of failure. You know what Chaos is for. More than that, you have see what I may become, should Jenova and Shinra continue unchecked, what I will do."
Lucrecia sighed ruefully.
"Very well, my son," she said. "Tell me what must be done, and I will do it for you."
I shuddered, helpless in the face of the first person who ever offered me actual, meaningful help in Sephiroth's whole miserable life. My throat closed up again.
What was I even supposed to tell her? The Ancients hadn't known how to destroy Jenova, only seal her away in mako. Why hadn't they burnt her up? Launched her into space? Dissolved her in a volcano?
"I need to find out a way to destroy the the Jenova body," I said. "J-cells are insidious and a problem, but they are also my greatest weapon. However, there's a malicious consciousness still in that body. She could take me over any day. I'm sure you've thought about it - how would you destroy Jenova down to her last molecule?"
Lucrecia's face crumpled into a tired smile.
"I have thought about it," she said. "I had even conducted some experiments, before I left. Hojo limited my access to the sample after your birth, but you could hardly avoid J-cell experiments, living in that Mansion. I cannot do it alone, I too am susceptible to her control, but I have an idea of who could help me."
"Is it…" I looked at her carefully. "Is it Vincent?"
She looked down at me. "Yes," she sighed. "Yes I intend to ask Vincent for his help."
"Then - you should tell him," I said. "About Yuuki. Subject Y. What you did to our DNA. He'd want to know. He'd want Yuuki."
Lucrecia guided my head back onto her shoulder. "How did you know about that? Did Hojo tell you?"
"Yes," I said. "He implied that Yuuki had been modified from my cells by someone who isn't on the project anymore. And those eyes are very distinctive."
"Alright," Lucrecia said. "Alright," she repeated. "I'll tell him. But it's likely he already knows."
We sat together in silence, my shivering body cradled in her warm embrace. I don't know how long we were there for. My tears dried on my face after a while. Then, as if triggered by the realisation of my calmness, my eyes started streaming again, almost without any conscious input from me. I could have disentangled myself, probably, but I couldn't bring myself to move. The top of my head was wet with Lucrecia's tears.
I drifted off like that, safe for the first time in this lifetime.
I woke up back in the mako tank, drowning in a sea of liquid fire. It hurt slightly less, but by the gods, it still hurt. I could at least somewhat see again. I could make out the green of the tank, and the vague shape of the various pieces of machinery lit up by the mako's eerie glow. I stuck out my hand in front of my face, and found that I could count five blurry digits.
This mako mixture was buoyant enough to support me. I curled up in the foetal position, and started burbling out a rendition of One Winged Angel into the sound dampening mass of the mako. I worked through both versions of the lyrics. Then I sang the chocobo song. Then I rick-rolled myself. Then I went through The Phantom of the Opera. I did the title track for that one twice. The liquid gave a strange quality to my high notes. Bohemian Rhapsody followed, then all my favourite Queen songs. I went through all my favourite pop hits. I went through all my favourite weeb songs. Then I lost it briefly and started belting out opera.
When Hojo and his gaggle of assistants arrived in the morning, doubtless refreshed after twelve hours of rest and recuperation, my already burning throat had gone hoarse. I had taken to trying to do backflips in the mako tank, which was relatively spacious compared to the standing room only affair Cloud and Zack had experienced, especially since I was much shorter. The water also made my hair float ethereally, and I wish I had a waterproof smartphone that I could take a selfie with. It still hurt and my whole existence was a mass of burning agony, of course, but you get bored of that after a few hours, and distractions helped.
"What are you doing?" Hojo's voice preceded him into the room. I was floating upside down, pretending to "stand" on the roof of the tank. Sticking my tongue out in chagrin, I turned myself upright as the lights turned on and Hojo came in to check on me.
"Nothing, professor," I said, but I doubted he could hear me. He checked the timer on the wall, which showed twenty minutes remaining. I could mostly make out the digits, though they were fuzzy.
Someone prepared a gurney. I'd actually need it this time, probably. A plastic chair was placed in the shower area. Someone produced my chocobo backpack and my discarded clothes, looking in askance at my dizzying array of travel sized hair and skincare bottles, and the single pair of spare chocobo print boxers I had brought. My flip flops were begrudginly produced from Hojo's office. Hojo counted down the minutes on his clock. The same intern as yesterday snapped photos of the momentuous occasion as Hojo eventually hit the release button on the tank's lid, reached a hand down, and hauled me up and out of that sea of endless green. I immediately collapsed at his feet, wheezing and retching and coughing. I had green coming out of every orifice, top and bottom. It would have been thoroughly disgusting, but I'd been through grosser only twelve hours ago.
Hojo hauled me up off the floor by my arm and activated the miniature elevator, which descended back down to floor level. He then threw me into the waiting arms and waiting towels of his assistants, who mopped me up and carried me the three meters from the base of the tank to the shower stall, where I collapsed limply onto the plastic chair. Thank god it had a backrest. If it had been a stool, I would have just slid off onto the ground. Someone blasted me with lukewarm water. The green sluiced away, leaving me shivering and confused at how the world was no longer encased in a green glow. The pain that pulsed through my body began to ever so slightly subside. My hair was wrung out and tied up into a bun, still wet.
Once I was deemed to be clean enough, I was loaded onto the gurney. Ansel cleaned out my ears again, washing out the green mako left in my ear canals. I was held upright as a nasal rinse was delivered. I was given mouthwash and instructed to gargle several times. Then I was fed an electrolyte solution, undoctored this time, followed by a nutrient shake, of which I was encouraged to drink as much as I could. After that I was permitted to lie there limply on the gurney as an oxygen mask was lowered onto my face and an IV hooked up to my arm, in order to help my stressed lungs recover from the dip and to get some more glucose and nutrients into me.
I was wheeled out, presumably towards the recovery room that I'd later wake up in, but darkness claimed me before we even made it out the door.
A/N: Thanks for sticking with poor Sephy through all the bad times. He's going to get to start fucking stuff up a bit more soon.
I've always been a bit bewildered by Lucrecia. I'm still not 100% sure how much I want her to be in the later parts of this fic, but I think she should at least get the chance to Do Stuff and atone and fix things a bit instead of crying in a cave for eternity, the same way Vincent got to leave the coffin and Find Himself again. IDK, how do you feel about her?