A dash of history
July 20 1986
"No, you're not doing it right"!
"I'm trying"!
"I'm not expecting perfection, all that matters is that you learn how to do it".
It was the same thing every sunday, arguing with his aunt over boring work. He hated learning, he hated doing it the day he was introduced to it. He thought of it as a waste of time, an obstacle blocking the things that he actually wants to do.
His parents say it's good for him, and he doesn't understand why. Have they ever done math, practiced writing sentences? He thought not. His brother seemed to get a back seat pass to all of this, as he was currently taking a nap in his aunt's bedroom.
Wish I were him.
"Now remember what I've told you", Arenia said to him,"you're taking away, your total is going to be less than what you've started with. So what are you doing"?
"Taking away".
"Yes, you're taking away. Do you understand what you're supposed to do"?
Yakko nodded his head.
"Yes", he replied.
"Good, now I want you to try these problems again. If you need help, don't be afraid to ask, got it"?
"Ok".
"I'll be in the kitchen preparing your snack, want apple slices"?
He nodded.
"Ok, remember, you're taking away, your answer will be less than what you've started with".
His aunt finally left him, she went into the kitchen. He sighed, she could really bug him sometimes.
"I heard that", his aunt hollard,"do your work"!
Here we go again!!
Yakko didn't know when it was going to stop. Every time he did work, it seemed like they would have an argument. He hoped that one day, he wouldn't have to do boring work, and he could just play for how long he wanted.
But by the way his aunt acted, that seemed like a really long time from now. He decided it would probably be best if he started working on his problems, it didn't want to get into even more trouble than he already was.
He picked up his pencil, fiddling around with it as he held it up to his paper. He started to work on the problems one by one.
6 - 4 = 2, 4 - 1 = 3, 8 - 3 =...huh.
He got stuck on one problem, he looked up and saw his aunt in the kitchen, cutting up an apple for him. He didn't want to bother her, he already put her through so much trouble. Yakko then remembered something Arenia had told him a few weeks ago.
Try counting down from the first number, she told him, let's say the problem is 10 - 5, so you're going to count down from 5.
Yakko thought that was a strategy, it had worked before, and he couldn't see why it wouldn't now. He started to count down from 8 in his head.
8, 7, 6, 5..wait it's 5!!!
He was very pleased with himself, he was proud to have figured that out all by himself. He picked up the pencil and wrote the answer down on the paper. He then proceeded to finish the rest of the problems.
4 - 2 = 2, and 3 - 1 = 2.
"I finished auntie", Yakko hollard as he waved the paper in the air.
His aunt walked over to him, holding a plate of apple slices. She put the plate in front of him, grabbing the worksheet as she did so.
"Great as always bud", she said," it seems like this is too easy for you, does it"?
"Nope, it's just right", He replied as he picked up the slice and shoved it into his mouth.
"Don't want a challenge"?
He shook his head.
"I know you don't like learning, but it's important that you learn new skills on a regular basis. It's good for your brain, you know"?
"I didn't say anything".
"I know, but just saying. I'm a teacher, so it just comes naturally that I engage you to learn as much as you possibly can at a young age".
"Why can't I go to school".
"I told you already, only children who are related to famous toons are allowed to go to school".
"But why"?
"I don't know, I wasn't the one who made the rules! You know what, just eat your snack, and then you can play with toys, you've done enough for today".
Yakko sighed, his aunt always claimed herself as a "teacher" when she wanted to act smart. Arenia would tell him all about this place called "school", which is an entire building dedicated to boring learning. The fact that a kind of place exists just baffled him, he didn't go to school and everything was fine.
She told him that only kids who are the children of famous toons are allowed to attend this "school". He found it to be a little unfair, still, he didn't like learning anyway.
He gave another sigh as he took another bite into the apple slice. Why was his aunt so demanding about learning? Why couldn't she be at least a little bit nicer about it?
Yakko sat in the corner in the living room doing his usual thing. He had his Matchbox and Hot Wheels cars lined up in a row, rolling them around the hardwood floor.
As he was playing, he accidentally bumped his head on the corner of a cabinet, making a grunt-like sound as he did so. Suddenly, a bang noise occurred, he flinched as the strange sound echoed across the room. He saw a large, orange book laying on the floor.
His aunt came running in the room in a panic.
"Are you alright", she asked.
"Yup", he said," just bumped my head, that's all".
Yakko continued to rub his head as his aunt picked the book up off the floor. He thought the object looked very strange, he had never seen a book like that before.
"What's that"?
"Oh, it's just a textbook".
"A what"!?
"A textbook, it's a type of book that has information in it. Were reading this in history club"?
"History club", Yakko cocked an eyebrow.
He got up from the floor and ran towards Arenia.
"I lead the history club at the school", his aunt explained,"and before you ask, history is the word to describe events that happened in the past".
"What events do they talk about"?
"There are various textbooks that cover various events throughout history bud. This one specifically is a textbook about toonilization"?
"What's that"?
"Oh right, I didn't teach you this yet. Why don't we sit down on the couch and take a look at this"?
"But I want to play with my toys"!!
"Please, this won't take long. How about we spend ten minutes looking at this and then I'll let you get back to playing. Sounds like a deal"?
As much as he wanted to say no to his aunt's offer, he's already put her through enough trouble for how he acted earlier. Besides, he was a little interested in learning about what this was.
"Fine", he muttered.
Hopefully, this goes by quick.
Yakko followed his aunt to the couch, he sat down on the cushions, making himself comfortable. His aunt sat down next to him, she licked her finger, and opened up the book. There were 2 pictures shown on the page. The first picture looked to be a giant construction site, it looked like a neighborhood was being built. In the second photo, was a man in a mustache and grey suit, holding oversized scissors, cutting a red ribbon.
"What's happening in the pictures"?
"I'm glad you asked. The pictures here show the construction of Toontown".
"Is that where we live now"?
"Not exactly, this is the Toontown settlement in Burbank California. This is where the big toon stars like Mickey Mouse and Bugs Bunny live. We live in the Toontown settlement of Sacramento".
"Sacramento"?
"That's the town where our toon settlement is located"?
"What's that", Yakko asked, pointing to the picture of the man in the mustache.
"ah, Stephen Crosby, the savoir of all toons. In this picture, he's opening the settlement in Los Angeles.
"why do we need these...settlements auntie"?
Arenia sighed," because of the real world".
What's the real world?", Yakko asked in a scared tone.
"It's where the humans live. Those pail, skinny like figures you see on TV, those are humans".
He was absolutely fascinated by what he was hearing. He had never been so intrigued at a subject in his life.
"Can I know more"?
"Of course, feel free to take a look at this. I think your brother has woken up from his nap, I'm going to go check on him. And remember, if you have any questions about this, please do not be hesitant to ask me anything".
His aunt got up from the couch, leaving him alone. He turned to a page at random, an image of some kind of document was plastered on the paper. He started to read what was on the page.
-page 15- President Hoover had a deep hatred for toons. He was dealing with so much already in the oval office, and chaotic, unpredictable toons rampaging all over Las Angeles and Burbank was not something he wanted to deal with at the time.
"Were in the middle of a depression", Hoover stated," this nation has fallen to dust. And now I have these abominations of ink terrorizing the west coast on top of all that".
It seemed for a while that the cartoon industry was threatened by the events of real life. Toons were simply too difficult for humans to manage. Toons far and right protested being erased, they stayed put, refusing to give up their intellectual freedom. Then as if it was a miracle, a fellow toon, humble Stephen Crosby, decided to stand up to the president himself, and give him a piece of his mind.
Crosby traveled all the way to Washington DC and gave his own opinion on the matter.
"Toons are simply geniuses created by man", Stephen said to Hoover,"you gotta let toons be themselves you know. If you don't, it would seem like you were running some sort of a dictatorship".
Yakko was absolutely fascinated by what he was reading. He didn't really understand the context of what he was reading, but it intrigued him greatly.
Mabey learning isn't so bad after all, He thought," Well not quite, math is still pretty bad.
His aunt came back over to him, holding Wakko in her arms, sticking out his tongue like he always did. She sat down on the couch beside him.
"Are you enjoying what you're reading so far Yakko", Arenia asked.
"Yes, I love it so much"!!
"Hmm..I'm not so sure", she cocked an eyebrow,"it seemed earlier that you didn't want to read this book at all".
"No, I love it", He protested," I'm so happy that you let me read this"!!
"I'm glad you like it", Arenia replied, rubbing his head.
He grinned, a genuine grin, one he hadn't shown in a while.
"What are you looking at me for, go on, continue reading".
"Really", Yakko said, his face lightening up.
"Of course, read as much as you want. And remember, you can always ask me anything".
Yakko shrugged his shoulders, he picked up the book and continued reading.
- Hoover was fuming as their conversation went on. Stephen described his face to be the color of a cherry. He claimed many times that it was a life or death situation, going on to say that Hoover nearly killed him at one point during their conversation.
Crosby was running out of decisions, he decided that the only way to convince Hoover to keep toons alive, was to show him just how crazy a toon could get. He said he pulled over a dozen whipped cream pies out of his hammerspace. He then started tossing the pies directly at the president. He used cartoon logic to make sure that Hoover didn't try to escape as pies were thrown at his face.
"I regret nothing I did to little Herbert", Crosby said," it served him right for what he did for this nation".
After flinging pies at the president, he was chased out of the white house by secret service in what he described as a "cat and mouse" style chase. Amazingly, Crosby made it home safe and sound to Burbank. Fellow toons held a grand ceremony in Stephen's honor. It was the craziest, Zaniest festival ever. Toons were drinking beer, singing songs, and hitting each other with pies the whole night. Onlookers describe the toony festival as the wildest thing they have seen in their entire life. Historians look at that day as the Woodstock of toons.
Finally becoming bored of reading, Yakko closed the textbook. He looked up at his aunt and brother, a huge smile on his face.
"Thank you for letting me read this", Yakko said cheerfully.
"Glad you liked it bud, you can read it any time you want. Just make sure to ask me first instead of hitting your head on the bookcase".
"Really"!?
"Absolutely, you seemed to be lost in that book".
"Can I play with my cars now"?
"Of course, no ones stopping you".
Yakko jumped off the couch and ran back to where he was playing earlier, nearly tipping over his tiny metal cars in the process. He laid down on his stomach and started pushing around the metal cars.
As he did so, he noticed his aunt set his brother down on the floor. Wakko was wearing tiny black overalls and a green shirt that his mom recently bought for him. He then proceeded to pull himself off the floor into a standing position, a skill that he was getting better at. Struggling, he managed to put his left leg out. Trying his best to keep balance, the baby then put his left leg out. The baby seemed to be pleased with himself as he slowly toddled around the room.
Yakko couldn't help but smile as his brother attempted to walk. He remembered he could barely get any words out as he told his parents that his brother had learned to walk. His parents were just as amazed when they saw it for themselves. He then suddenly remembered the advice his mom had told him.
Make sure you hold on to your brother's hand as he's practicing, she told him, a sudden fall can be much more impacting on a baby.
Keeping that thought in mind, he got up from the floor and ran to his brother. He quickly grabbed his brother's hand, making sure he held it as tight as he could. The little tot was happy to see him, he wore a big smile on his face, bouncing himself up and down.
Yakko then took a step back, making sure not to go quickly for his brother. Wakko put his leg out, giggling as he did so. He then repeated the process, his brother followed, he kept on doing this for a while. He was impressed that Wakko was able to keep up with him.
He felt proud of himself, he looked over at the couch where his aunt was sitting. She was staring right at him, smile on her face, Yakko knew she was proud of him. Wakko seemed to be having a blast, it seemed like the little thing couldn't stop giggling. Yakko then lifted his brother off the floor, clutching him in his arms.
"You did it Wak", Yakko said in excitement," pretty soon you can walk all by yourself, just like me"!
Wakko stuck his tongue out, making weird squealing noises. His brother couldn't talk, but he didn't need any words to describe how excited he was.
He walked over to the couch where his aunt was sitting, she still had a bright smile smeared on her face. He sat down, trying not to drop his brother in the process.
"That was simply amazing bud", his aunt said to him,"you're such an amazing big brother, Yakko".
She then rubbed his head, he grinned, he couldn't be happier. He looked down at his brother, still squealing happily in his lap. But then, Wakko's squealing came to a halt, being replaced by a weird peeping noise.
Yakko gave a concerned look, he had never heard his younger brother make this noise before.
"Is something wrong?", he asked his aunt.
"Don't worry", she said," sometimes baby's make weird noises, it just happens".
He wasn't so sure, he kept his eyes on his brother as he continued making that strange noise.
"Y..Y….Ya..Yakko", Wakko said in a tiny voice.
He gasped, his aunt did as well. He was in total shock, he tried not to accidentally drop his brother. He couldn't believe it, Wakko had just said his first word, and it was his name.
"Wakko", he said, still in shock," you..you said my name, you said my name"!!
"Yakko", he said again, more cheerfully this time.
Yakko pulled his brother closer to him, he gave him a kiss on the cheek. Wakko clapped his hands, sticking his tongue out, grateful for being praised.
"Pretty soon, Wakko will be a little chatterbox just like you", his aunt said, putting a hand on his shoulder.
This had to be the greatest day of his entire life, it had to be. His brother could finally talk, just like he had wished for. He remembered back when Wakko was born, thinking his brother would never walk or talk. Now, he couldn't imagine what life would be like without his brother by his side.
End of Chapter 8