Chapter 26

It was insane to him how he had somehow forgotten how terrible the desert is. He wasn't even thinking about the fact he was in a warzone, but the fact that the desert was absolutely terrible to live in. Booth constantly felt like his lungs were nothing but sand and everything was so dry that he was just miserable ninety percent of the time. The other ten percent he was too exhausted to even care how he felt.

He was most definitely too old to be doing this.

He remembered all too well what it was like being a young soldier with absolutely no idea what was to come next at any given moment and he felt blessed to be able to help out now, but not a second went by that he didn't want to be home in DC. Hell he'd take the jungle with Bones over the nosebleed and headache he was dealing with as he sat down on the uncomfortable chair to check his emails.

It had been several days since he had been able to check his email and he knew that Bones was probably as worried about him as he was when she was away. Going through his email he sifted through everyone else's first, a couple from Parker, one from his pops, and of course a few from Angela, Hodgins and Cam. He smiled at her last email from the last night he was active. When was the moment he fell in love with her? That was easy but he wasn't sure just how to answer that.

Reading through several of her emails he sighed knowing she still hadn't found anything worth sharing from the dig. This was supposed to be her big break from DC, to get back to what she loved, and knowing it was so far disappointing made him sad.

Booth,

I am well aware that you aren't able to get to a computer all the time, but am beginning to worry about your absence. Please tell me you are okay.

Bones

The last email had been from two days prior and he felt his own immediate concern that there hadn't been anything since then. Sighing he knew he had to do his best to remain positive no matter how hard it was for either of them to do so.

Hey Bones!

I'm okay, I promise. I was sent out into the field and the mission lasted longer than any of us anticipated. I'm so sorry you were worried about me and I apologize I didn't tell you I was leaving. There wasn't a lot of time between finding out where we were heading and leaving. Makes me wish there was texting here. There are a lot of things that we have at home that I take for granted it seems. If we were there I could have sent you a quick text that I was heading out and it would have hopefully been a little less nerve wracking. I really am okay though, a little dehydrated which I am getting taken care of and my sinuses have officially given up with the dry weather and sand. Nothing I can't handle.

How are you? Are you okay? Are you safe?

I miss you so much.

Sadly, the mail is behind right now so if you have sent any letters I haven't received them yet, but I looked forward to them just as much as your emails.

To answer your question - I knew the very second I met you.

I know you are going to find that utterly ridiculous and I understand, but when I told you I always knew, I meant it.

Cam had insisted I partner up and seek you out for help on the case, I hated the idea of needing a partner but I knew that I was running out of options. I guess we can thank Cam for our partnership and our current relationship.

Walking into that lecture hall, no matter how gross the presentation was, I was struck by how beautiful you were standing up there. You have always had the greatest confidence in your lectures and even if the subject matter isn't always my favorite, I can always see just how passionate you are. I'll never forget how in awe I was of you immediately, and then I shook your hand and looked into those beautiful eyes of yours.

Yeah, Bones, I've loved you from first sight.

I hope to speak to you soon.

Love,

Booth

He sighed as he stared at the computer for longer than he should have just hoping an email would pop up from her. She was busy and he knew that, but he couldn't help but worry that something was wrong. Debating his next move he knew if she found out she would kill him, but he was starting to feel desperate already.

Sweets can you forward this to Daisy? Thanks, Booth.

Daisy, it's Agent Booth. I haven't heard from Dr. Brennan and was hoping you could let me know if she is okay?

Groaning, he logged out and made his way to his own tent and laid down on the bed with a wince at how hard and uncomfortable it was. This was really going to be the longest year of his life.

Two more days went by with no communication with Bones except for a return email from Sweets that he and Daisy had broken up prior to her leaving but he had spoken to her a handful of times. His last email with her had shown that they were optimistic with a find and were working dutifully to find more information. That both worried Booth and made him feel better all at the same time. If they found something that meant that she wasn't going to be down about her trip being a waste, but that also meant she was most likely overworking herself and not taking care like she should be.

The mail finally came the next day and he was surprised to find not only a letter but a package from the Maluku Islands for him. Impatiently, he went to his tent and immediately tore open the package. Chuckling he looked at the piece of cardboard that hid the rest of the contents but read in big bold letters Read the Letter First, Booth.

Carefully he put the box aside and opened up the letter, once again surprised how a piece of paper could make his heart jump out of his chest just at the handwriting.

Booth,

It is quite possible that if Sweets were to know that either of us were having any sort of doubts about our current career choices, he would be literally jumping out of his chair yelling that he told us so. I can't believe I'm saying this either, but I actually miss him. I still don't believe in his psychology but he has been quite helpful over the years.

One thing I do know for sure is, that no matter how much I hate that you aren't happy in Afghanistan you would have never forgiven yourself for not going. Sweets would be commenting on our co-dependence on one another and that it's the obvious reason our time apart is proving to be more difficult than either of us imagined.

In this instance he would be right.

We have spent a great amount of time over the last several years relying on each other, so much that before we were together romantically I couldn't imagine my life without you. I had to live through that once, when we all thought you were dead, and I never want to do that again. Granted I know at some point I will, it is how evolution goes after all but that doesn't make me any more happy about it.

This separation really is so much harder than I imagined and I feel like I am to blame for it. If I hadn't been struggling before and after the trial perhaps things wouldn't have been so strained between us professionally. I just felt I had lost who I was as an anthropologist, more importantly I was terrified of one of us getting hurt or worse killed by another case we worked.

Being in Indonesia now I see that I wasn't entirely wrong about my feelings. I did miss the research aspect of my career and focusing on ancient remains and I am still scared of the possibility of another killer getting to us. However, I recognize the good we did together. Every case we were both helping a family find closure and putting a terrible person away. We did that together, and that I miss the most.

However, I want to speak on a question you asked me in your letter. What moment made me believe in love? There were several moments throughout the years that together formulated my conclusion that love exists. I can't pinpoint one exact moment as it doesn't exist, instead it all came together almost like an equation. Multiple times in our partnership that when I think back it was inevitable that I'd not only believe in love, but I'd fall in love with you.

The very first was when you showed up in New Orleans after I told you not to. Though I secretly hoped you would have shown up when I called. I probably wouldn't have called otherwise. You stood by me and defended me when it was very possible I could have murdered someone. You protected me and hid evidence from the detective. Thinking back to that time I know now that you wouldn't have done any of that for me if love didn't exist. More importantly if trust didn't exist and I think that's a pretty big foundation of love. Right?

That's just one of many moments, I don't want to explain every one in a letter. I guess you can say the suspense of causing you to wait is thrilling to me. I'm not sorry about that.

I do apologize if it's taken longer for you to receive this letter though, I've been putting together a package for you at the same time to send and hope you receive them at the same time. Hopefully you listened and read this first before opening, as I want to explain a couple items to you.

In your previous letter you mention what you miss about me and there are multiple things I miss about you as well. For instance not only do I miss waking up to you everyday, but I miss the intensity of your facial expressions when you are concentrating on a case. I miss how you make jokes when you are stressed out in the middle of the night as we're doing paperwork. I hope your trainees get to see a glimpse of what an amazing agent you are stateside, because I know as their Sergeant Major you are the best person for the job.

In the package I've included some photos I've taken around the island. There is a beautiful volcano that overlooks the dig site, it is feared that it may erupt at any time but I'm not worried. I've also included photos of me that Daisy has taken during the time we've spent together exploring. I find that while she is still as annoying as when we are home, she is much more manageable out here. She's going to make a fine Anthropologist one day. Just not as good as I am.

I've also included some local snacks and items that can be bought at a market a little ways from here. I travelled with our onsite medical doctor a couple days ago to get supplies and we stopped while we were there. As we assumed people aren't all that welcoming of us being here but the further out we travelled the nicer they somewhat came.

As always,

I love you

Bones

He smiled as he went through the box carefully removing each item until he found a photo of her and his breath hitched, she was as breathtaking as always. It was obvious that the different environment was affecting her, she was tanner than she was at home and he could tell that her cheeks were more hollow. Booth immediately knew that she wasn't eating or drinking enough to compensate for the physical demands of the jungle. Then again if she saw him she would see the same thing.

Thinking through the letter he couldn't help but long to know what other times in their lives equated to her believing in love. He wasn't even surprised that she made it scientific or even mathematical. That was what made her Bones.

It worried him that the locals weren't very forthcoming with their project, not that he assumed they would be welcoming. There were just so many questions that came with being in such an unknown place, he needed her to be safe. He needed her to meet him at that coffee stand.

Three more days went by of Booth checking his email more than the allotted time he was allowed daily to still find nothing from Bones. He had been asked to go on another mission with his unit and while he didn't want to go nor was he originally supposed to do any field work at all, he knew that it was his duty to make sure they were safe.

Bones,

I'll be away from base for the next several days, I'm not sure how long I'm assuming seven to ten days. I pray that you are safe and everything is going as planned in the Mumususu Islands.

I love you,

Booth