This is a chapter that's Lori-centric as we backtrack with the touches of Richonne. Thank you again for the reviews, favorites, and follows.

A Name to a Face

Monday, July 8th, 1996

Lori swore aloud, and Rick called out to her, asking if everything was okay.

She was in the bathroom and stuffed the remains of the tampons in the box and placed them in the back of the sink cabinet.

Lori hoped that five days without her birth control could have her pregnant in time.

She told Rick their first year of marriage that she wanted a child. Maybe she believed it at one time. She did not know.

But she could recognize the desperation Rick held in his eyes to have a child, and the way he would look at her made her want to fulfill that dream. The words slipped out before she could really believe it. But Lori wanted to believe the good he saw in her, that she could be a splendid mother and wife.

Soon after the declaration that she wanted Rick's baby, she would place the blue tablets on her tongue. The taste of it became familiar and part of the routine when she would hear Rick get into his truck and head to work.

But it only lasted for so long, as Rick caught her like he always did.

The pills were just the beginning of the fights in their marriage. Not that he cared if she prevented pregnancy, he reassured. It's that she lied to him.

And though she promised she would never make a fool of him again, she could not live up to that vow.

Lori was still on the pill during their separation and only skipped five days before meeting him on their anniversary.

A late menses for two weeks, she assumed, just maybe it worked. Maybe she did not have to lie. That she could fix the damage she caused for the last two years.

But the red staining between her thighs this morning brought her disappointment.

Lori washed her hands and opened the door, ready to say goodbye to her husband, but she heard the screen door slam, his footsteps, the start of the truck as he drove to work.

Rick always rushed out the door before she could talk to him. It's not like Lori could blame him.

Lori was ashamed to say that she knew all the signs and she's hesitant to confront Rick.

Rick's shifts seemed to stretch late into the night. He would come home by midnight and leave in the early morning. His distant look was the biggest sign for Lori. A faint smile would play across his lips as he watched tv and held only surface-level conversations with her. Rick's blue eyes would have a liveliness to them as he reminisced about a joke or conversion she was unaware of.

Maybe he didn't care that she knew. Maybe it was a punishment she would suppose some days.

Lori thought she knew Rick. She knew he didn't have an ounce of malice in his heart even when misfortune happened. He continued with being a man of honor and obligation. Rick was a man of loyalty.

A Martyr. Was what she would think of Rick and that same martyrdom reminded her of her mother.

Her mother was always there in the face of tragedy with her father's decisions throughout their marriage. And that's how Lori saw Rick. He would always be there.

Lori recognized that trait and exploited it for all she could. Made peace that she could be as selfish and uncaring as her father.

Though she accepted it, Lori would try to balance the scale, try to be a better person, a wife, and hopefully a mom. She started going to a Pentecostal church every Sunday, listening to bible teachings that could help her gain a consciousness, to be more honest, nurturing, and loving.

Thursday and Friday, July 25th-26th, 1996,

Rick would ask her about doctor's appointments and she would tell him she went without him, always reminding him the baby was fine. She was sure she could hold off a few weeks with a new excuse. Lori told him a week ago she forgot to get an ultrasound picture, but she would the next time. Rick's icy stares would only travel along her body, back up to her face. His jaw would tighten, and he gave her a sharp nod and continued on with his day.

Rick didn't bother confronting her, and that was unnerving.

He stared at her that morning on his father's porch with tears in his eyes. She assumed it was hope, but maybe it was despair.

But Lori focuses on the task. To make a child, to fight a losing game as she makes efforts to cook, clean, to be right, to pray.

She tried, Lori straddled her husband at night where he's incredibly still. Kissed his neck and shoulder, fingers trailed along his chest and she could tell Rick was dragging teeth to respond. Instead, he grabs her hips with ease, only to lift her off and put her beside him. He fails in reassuring her it was him, or stress, or an illness before he closes the bathroom door.

Friday, August 2nd, 1996,

Lori grabbed her keys and headed out the door. She drove ten minutes over to Griffin street and walked into the bar, one of the few bars open this early in the morning.

Just who she thought she'd see. Negan's back turned to her. He had on a gray shirt and he put the glass to his lips. Eyes focused on the tv screen.

This was a common spot for them to meet on Friday mornings, a few drinks followed by witty exchanges, and soon they'd be at a nearby motel. Their clothes pulled off and thoughts would disappear whenever she was in his arms.

Lori walked up to Negan and her hand softly tapped his shoulder. He turned.

"Hey you," He smiled

"Hey back," Lori grinned and sat down, "Guessing no work this summer?"

Negan shrugged, "Takin' this summer off." He takes a moment, his brown eyes looking her over, "Heard you're back home."

She put her hands through her hair and shook her head, "God, doesn't this town ever shut up?"

Negan smiled, and ordered her usual bud light, "Oh c'mon, you know better than that."

"How's he been, anyway?" Negan asked, and she only furrowed her eyebrows and shrugged as she drank the beer.

"Hard to tell these days." Lori answered, "But we're trying to make it work. At least I am. He's… not that interested, I guess."

"You broke the man's heart. What do you expect?" He smiled again and Lori's heart fluttered, remembering when that grin always felt like it belonged to her at one time.

"You know what they say about me; Ms. Heartbreaker of King County." Lori jokes, but there was sadness in her voice.

"You broke mine."

She paused. They both knew that wasn't true, "Don't you start that." She shook her head, "How's Lucille?"

"Some days are better than others." Negan finished his drink and waved to the bartender for another, "The treatment is working, sick as all hell."

"Oh God, Negan." Lori grasped his arm in comfort. "I'm so sorry."

"Thank you." Negan whispered, "I guess I just have to be there. Wasn't a good husband before. But I want to be now."

"I know the feelin'. " They sat in silence for a moment.

"Rick's cheating," Lori said, looking away as it hit her more than it had the last few weeks.

"You sure?"

"I'm sure…" she scoffed, "Of course I'm sure."

The silence grew between them. "How do you feel about it?"

Lori looked away. She wasn't sure what she should feel. Though her emotions always ran high, her conscience, the one being built through Sunday church, would scold her a lot lately.

"I just want to know who it is, is all." Lori resigned as she turned to Negan.

"What was the point?" she continued, "If he knew, he had someone. Why would he-" She paused then and Negan only watched her.

"You know, I never understood why you still wanted to be with him."

She shrugged. "It just has to work. Why are you still with Lucille?"

"I love her."

Lori's heart skipped, wishing Negan felt that way about her, but she knew he loved his wife. Though he was flawed, he had a powerful love for Lucille. He told Lori early in their affair he could never love her like he loved his wife.

She hoped he would leave his wife and she would leave Rick. That they'd move somewhere and live happily ever after. But one-sided dreams barely stood a chance, she realized. And she didn't love Negan like she loved Rick. He was just an escape because Negan could be easier to love.

"If only it was that simple," Lori whispered, finishing the rest of her beer.

"Anything I can do for you?" Negan asked as his fingers trailed along her arm.

"No, not that." Lori waved him off. "I'm trying to be good. I want to be good for him."

Lori went back home after an hour, dressed in a skirt, blouse, and heels. Rick liked her in heels. She curled her hair and put on makeup, light makeup. He never liked her makeup being heavy.

She headed to the Sheriff's department to work her own miracle. Parked in the far corner and waited. It was close to noon and Rick should be back at any moment for lunch.

Lori was ready to surprise him, to be good for him. She brought Rick's favorite lunch, one from their first date at a small diner, and waited.

When she looked around the parking lot, she noticed she didn't see his vehicle.

A few moments after, she noticed the patrol car by the license plate. Shane walked out, heading into his workplace, and Rick was nowhere to be found.

"Shane!" she called, honking the horn.

Shane squinted, realized it was Lori, and he strolled to the car. She could see the dread on his face, but he approached anyway.

He leaned down. A hand grasped her side door.

"Lori, what are you doin' here?"

"I thought I'd surprise Rick. Brought him some lunch. Is he here?"

Shane looked away.

"He's not, is he?"

"Look, I don't want to get involved in this-" His face is pensive, and there's a pity in his dark eyes.

Shane turned off his walkie-talkie that was propped on his chest.

"Maybe he's getting you something for the baby on the way."

Lori's expression flickered, "He told you?"

"Of course he did." Shane explained, "It's not like he told the whole department. Just me."

Lori paused, carefully she made a blank expression. "You gotta know where he is, Shane. Just tell me."

Shane scoffed, "Even if I knew. I wouldn't tell you."

"Is that so?"

Shane shook his hand and stepped back. His hand waved at her. "You're the one who started this, you know? I tried my best, tried to get him to work it out with you."

"And you've done a great job."

Blame, it was easy, but the small voice in her head told her to stop, but as always she was helpless to the words that slipped out.

Shane's expression turned to anger.

"Okay." He turned away, shook his head, and laughed, "We're done."

"Shane. " She stepped out of the car, ran to him as he walked closer to the door of the Sheriff's station.

"I'm sorry." She whispered in a hushed tone as a few people walked out.

Shane stopped his tracks as they stood facing one another.

"You did this. This ain't on no one but yourself."

With that, Shane left her at the door.

At 10 pm that night. The bourbon that Rick's father gave him for his birthday is her focus.

Lori should have stopped after four glasses, but she continued to fill it to the rim. Ignoring the signs, her body gave her as the living room twirled. She splayed on their couch. Some reruns of a 70s sitcom flared on the screen, the only source of light.

Rick is still not home.

When she heard a car in the driveway, Lori bolted up, ignoring the dizziness she felt from the bourbon. This time she won't hesitate. Lori is ready to scream at Rick, get him to react or talk to her. Lori opened the door and Shane was there, his eyes assessing her with a head tilt. He notes Lori's red-shot eyes and the smell of bourbon.

"What the hell is your problem?" He walked in and took the glass from her hand.

"You're pregnant, Lori-"

She can't carefully hold it in like she usually could. The lies she could usually hold out as long as possible as she had the last month. She could hold out until Rick catches her. Instead, Shane and Lori stare at each other and she could see his expression change from disbelief to a grave look, then anger.

The same anger she's sure her husband would hold.

"You..you can't tell Rick." She slurred, and the air was still between them.

Shane shook his head, "You're a piece of work, you know that." He turned away and walked back to his car.

All the while Lori scratched and grasped at his arm, called out his name, but he ignored her pleas and as he sped off into the night.

The Weekend of August 3rd, 1996,

That night with Shane has her stepping on eggshells the next day and the day after that. Awaiting Rick's wrath.

But there's nothing.

There are no fights. Shane has not told Rick, and she is too much of a coward, so say something.

Lori can feel the familiar anger in her that there's nothing from Rick. She just wants him to blow up, speak.

Thursday, August 8th, 1996,

Rick stopped his questions her about ultrasounds and appointments. He barely spoke now. But she questioned him, would ask him who he was thinking about, who was seeing after work.

She hated this Rick. This Rick only laughed a humorless laugh, scoffed, and would walk out the door.

Lori trailed a few cars down from Rick after his late shift tonight. She drove a few cars away from him, took a few cuts so he could not see her as he led the way over to a part of King County that she never visited.

The anger she held in the last week or so, the guilt, turned to resolve when she watched a young black woman. This woman doesn't dress as Rick would like. This girl is in simple jeans and a red t-shirt as she walked to his car, a bright smile on her full lips when she got into the truck.

And she leaned towards Rick, kissed him like it's been so long since she's seen him. And Rick not only accepted the kiss, but he also leans in for a second, then a third.

They smile and joke. It's a smile Lori hasn't seen on Rick's face in over a year. The smile on Rick's lips was wider than the small ones she sees back at their home.

They drive away. Instead of following them, Lori was still in the car and stayed there late to midnight. As she tried to imagine just what this young girl's name might be.

Lori heads home, and it's almost 1 am. Rick is still not home.

So instead of prayers for the marriage to work as a few nights passed, she prayed to meet the woman in his truck.

Sunday, August 11th, 1996,

The Pentecostal church for the last three weeks has Lori at peace on some Sundays. It's a peaceful routine when she can just hold on to the pastor's words and forget about the mistakes she's made, try to believe she could have redemption, she could be loving and patient.

She arrived late to service, just a few minutes before the Love thy neighbor portion where she met unfamiliar faces each week.

This week, it's an older husband and wife. They tell her they have a 20-year marriage and she nods, thoughts that her next prayer would involve a wish for longevity in her relationship.

The older couple shook Lori's hand and welcome her to the church and they tell her she has to meet their daughter who's been absent from service for a few weeks to enjoy her last summer in King County.

The mother looks briefly around before she landed her hand in the crowd and pulled a young girl in front of Lori, who wore a floral dress that's up to her ankles, nothing like the tight shirt and jeans Lori saw her in a few days ago.

The mother introduces the girl. It's a name Lori did not imagine the few nights she stayed up, just trying to bring a name to the face of the woman who made her husband smile.

Michonne.

I'll be releasing the next chapter this weekend. Although this one is Lori-focused, I tried to have depths to her without demonizing her too much.

Why do you think Lori and Rick are still holding out on their divorce?