A short one in the midst of my (horrid) exams. Thanks so much for the views and support.
Firewind: In my writings, Almec's loyalty was always to Satine's father. He's transferred it now to Satine, the successor, but over time I believe he loses faith in Satine's leadership, especially as she pushes her pacifism to boundaries that (I imagine) her father never took it to. You can see already that he's having trouble accepting her policies. I think after the honeymoon years, as the political situation on Mandalore declined once more, he took his loyalties elsewhere.
Qui Gon wasn't sure what he felt, deep in his stomach, when he sensed Obi Wan approaching him in one of the quieter hallways of the palace. They had together attended a meeting about tomorrow's impending coronation, at the invitation of the Duchess and her fledgling parliament. Obi Wan had been quiet and introspective throughout, as he had been in Qui Gon's presence ever since the victory was proclaimed. Qui Gon had assumed that he would walk back to their quarters on his own.
"I was hoping to speak with you, Master," Obi Wan ventured, as he fell into step beside him.
Qui Gon watched his Padawan expectantly but did not find any clues in his face. The Force was quiet around him. Qui Gon wondered if he knew Obi Wan at all anymore. He did not know what news to expect, or indeed, what news to hope for.
"Yes, Padawan?" he managed to ask.
"I am sorry for having been so inaccessible recently, Master," Obi Wan began humbly. "I have been in meditation as much as possible, seeking guidance from the Force…"
He trailed off, and swallowed stoically.
"Seeking guidance about the Duchess, that is, Master, and about what I should do."
"I know," Qui Gon told him curtly. He gave a steady sigh. "We should find somewhere to sit, I think, Padawan."
Obi Wan agreed wordlessly. It could only have taken them a minute to reach their quarters, but it felt an age. The empty master bedroom was absurdly large. They would keep to their corner. They sat upon the cold floorboards, facing each other, and Qui Gon wondered fleetingly whether this would be the last time that they would ever do so.
"The Force had been silent for days and days, Master," Obi Wan elaborated, once they were seated. "I hadn't been sleeping, only meditating, looking for something to show me the way, trying to learn my purpose…"
He shook his head as though in disbelief.
"But all I could feel in the Force was her, Master. Satine."
He grimaced, and took a steadying breath.
"I felt her in the tower yesterday. She was thinking of her family. And I came to feel that my place was at her side. So I went to be with her. To tell her that I would stay on Mandalore with her."
Qui Gon could neither deny nor dispel the wave of melancholy that seemed to engulf him then.
"Well?" he asked, and could hear the impatience in his voice.
"Well, I went to the tower, Master, and I found her there, sitting amongst her family's possessions. She had her mother's wedding dress in her hands."
His eyes brightened as he looked imploringly at Qui Gon.
"I saw Satine with that dress in her hands and… And after so much silence, Master, the Force began to speak. I finally saw. I saw more than I have ever seen before..."
He gave an awestruck sigh, and slowed his pace.
"I saw our wedding, Master. The great celebrations. I saw Sundari rebuilt as a city of glass, with the palace gardens in full bloom. I saw our children, Master. A daughter, and then a son. It was the strangest thing…"
He trailed off, and shook his head in wonderment.
"We were so happy, Master."
This plaintive statement pierced deeply into Qui Gon's chest. Obi Wan's quavering voice was then set firm.
"And I saw my future with the Order."
At this, Qui Gon found the strength to look up and hold his Padawan's earnest gaze.
"The Order, Master…"
Obi Wan seemed to find it difficult, now, to find the words.
"I feel that there are dark times ahead. I saw great suffering."
His plaintive tone transported Qui Gon to the nights in the Temple when Obi Wan would wake from his sleep with nightmares. "I saw rivers of fire," the child would announce. "I saw a barren wilderness." "I saw the blackest ocean." Or something else.
He was supposed to have outgrown the nightmares, according to the critical Jedi masters who hadn't supported Obi Wan's apprenticeship. But Qui Gon could only see then, as he could only see now, a boy who simply needed some gentle compassion. He would be a liar to say that he hadn't loved him then, that he didn't love him now.
"Anyhow, Master," Obi Wan went on with a huffing sigh, "I saw those two futures, spread out in front of me, and I suddenly didn't feel so certain anymore. I couldn't help but think that I wasn't taken out of Stewjon to fall in love with a princess."
He smiled wryly – with regret, with pain, with love – at his Master then. And Qui Gon felt all his selfishness and all his resolve dissipate.
"You do not owe me your future, Obi Wan," he told him steadily. "The Jedi Order keeps no prisoners."
"I know, Master," Obi Wan agreed, looking down at his hands. "I suppose there's a little more to it, really…" He went on, falteringly. "I saw something else in my future."
"Yes, Padawan?"
"I saw someone, in all that darkness, who needed me," he said, simply. "Someone who needed me, Master, only me. Someone for whom I am their only hope."
He gave a great sigh.
"I don't know where or when I will meet them. The vision was very brief. But I felt it strongly. And so I decided, Master, that I had best come back to Coruscant with you, and continue on my path to find them. If you'll still have me as your Padawan."
It was as though the sun had finally risen after weeks of darkness. Relief sang through the Force. Qui Gon could not stifle a smile.
"I don't suppose you have done anything so bad, Padawan."
"I have strayed, Master," Obi Wan supplied earnestly, with his old fervour. "I have-"
"But you have come back," Qui Gon told him, slowly and authoritatively.
Obi Wan nodded, and his shoulders relaxed.
"I have grown, Master. I think that I will be a better Jedi for it."
Qui Gon looked at the boy and his chest was full with warmth.
"You have grown up so beautifully, Obi Wan."
It was the most tender sentiment he had ever given him. Obi Wan did not seem to know what to say. His eyes had become shiny with tears.
"You'll need to tell the Duchess," Qui Gon appraised, steadily.
"She has been preparing herself, Master, for me to leave," Obi Wan told him.
Qui Gon was faintly surprised at this.
"She will not ask you to stay?"
"No, Master," Obi Wan answered, shaking his head and looking at the ground.
He looked up, then, with the wry smile of futile humour.
"Her insufferable pride, Master, naturally prohibits her from doing so."
Qui Gon smiled with gentle understanding. Obi Wan's clumsy joke belied a strange truth. He felt a greater fondness than he ever had for the young Duchess.
"Not her pride. Her selflessness."
Obi Wan nodded, sober once more.
"She is very selfless, Master," Obi Wan agreed. "Of course, Master, I know that truly…"
He faltered for some time.
"I can read her, Master," he confessed. "I know that she wishes for me to stay."
Obi Wan closed his eyes, sat up straighter, and opened them again.
"But it is right," he asserted firmly, even as a stray tear rolled down his cheek. "She is right. To love me is… It is not the same as needing me."
Qui Gon nodded heavily, and felt a new sort of sadness wash over them both.
"You love her, Obi Wan," Qui Gon murmured, feeling his admiration for his Padawan swell once more.
Obi Wan nodded, eyes downcast, lip quivering. When he spoke, he could barely manage a whisper.
"But I don't need her," he finished.
In time, it would not hurt anymore. Obi Wan would, Qui Gon knew, find peace in the endless tide of the living Force. He would not bemoan the future that could have been. He would be a magnificent Jedi Knight.
"Come here, Padawan."
For now, he held Obi Wan's head to his shoulder and let him cry.
They are so beautiful. I've not got much else to say on the matter.
Two chapters to go! They'll be short and sweet like this one.
Much love,
xx - S.