I woke up around noon the next day. I didn't dream at all, thank God. My parents had already left for work. My mom left a note on my bedside table. 'Dad and I went to TM. Call me when you wake up. Love you, Mom. P.S. Next time give me a heads up that the weed in my dresser is gone."

She had also left two aspirins and a glass of water on the table. I took them and went to take a shower. When I saw my body in the mirror I gasped. I looked so broken down and tired. I got into the shower and just cried. I cried for my broken down body, for what had been taken from me, I cried for my family and how this would break them if they ever found out.

I got dressed with skinny jeans, a shirt that covers as many bruises as I could, and my thigh-high heeled leather boots. I covered the bruises that were still showing with makeup and went downstairs. It was Saturday so I had to go to work instead of school. I put some coffee in my travel cup and grabbed my jacket and purse.

I walked outside and remembered my car. Wayne totaled my car. I called Gemma when I went back inside to grab the keys to my bike. My dad made me learn how to ride and get a license when I was 16. He had said, "No daughter of mine will not know how to ride."

"Hey baby." She answered as I was grabbing my keys.

"Hey Ma."

"You feelin' alright?"

"Yeah, I'm alright. I'm headed to the garage now."

"You usin' the bike?"

"Yeah, I'm about to go to it. Thought I'd call you first."

"Alright well, be careful."

"I will. See you soon."

"Alright baby. Love you."

"I love you too."

I put my purse in the side pocket on the bike, my cup in the cup holder and headed to work. Normally when I ride it's like all of the problems in the world fall away, but not this time. This time, the more I drive the more dread I start to feel. The closer I got to Teller-Morrow the more I felt sick. There were going to be questions and there would be pity stares. Maybe they would all just leave me alone. Maybe.

I pulled into the garage and parked my bike. I looked up and saw Tig. I just ignored him and went to work. I talked with my mom about the paperwork throughout the day. We were so behind on it. I was grateful for the small talk. She let our conversation from the night before go. We did paperwork all day, sent the boys on a couple pickups, and then suddenly it was time to go home. Tig invited me over to his place, but I told him that I was in a lot of pain and just wanted to lay in my own bed, which he believed. I left out the part that every time someone touched me I felt like I was back in that wearhouse again.

I went home, drank another bottle of wine, smoked copious amounts of weed, and danced around my room until I was ready to pass out and not dream. I did this for the first week, maybe even a week and a half, but then it wasn't working anymore. I would go to school, go to work, come home and get smashed so I could sleep. When I started to have nightmares while I was smashed I knew it was a problem. I would toss and turn all night every night, just to wake up to my mother shaking me because my screaming woke her up. She stopped asking what the nightmares were about after a few nights.

After the second week I decided to just stay at the clubhouse. There wasn't anyone currently living there so I could stay and not wake anyone. I slept in my dad's room. I would have used Jackson's, but it smelled like feet and pussy. At least my dad's room was relatively untouched for the past 20 years. Plus my mom kept it clean in case her and dad ever needed the room. She would not do anything in a room that reeked of feet and pussy.

It was the third week after my "accident" when Tig finally got mad enough to come and talk to me. I had been constantly blowing him off because I simply didn't want to lie to him. Lying to Gemma was hard enough, but to lie to him too. I didn't want to do it, but I had to.

"Gemma, can we get a minute?" He said, coming into the office.

"Sure." She looked at me and nodded.

He closed the door behind her and closed the blinds.

"What the hell is going on?"

"What do you mean? I'm working Tigger."

"You know what I mean. It's been three weeks Amelia and you've barely said five words to me! So what the hell is going on?"

"I've still got a lot of pain. I don't want to bother you with it."

"You're not a bother to me. And neither is your pain, but if you're still hurting maybe you should go see the Doc."

"I don't need meds, I need time."

"How much time?"

"I don't know Alex." Maybe that would shut him up. I never used his first name. "Look I've got a lot of work here. We got a list of repos and I have to get all the paperwork filed."

"Goddamn it Amelia. I'm trying to talk to you here. I can't keep doing this."

"Since when do you want to talk? About anything? You don't like that I don't have time for your little girl moment, then leave."

"You want me to go! Fine. I'll go." He screamed and stormed out of the office.

I went to stand in the doorway so I could continue to yell at him. "Fine! Leave damn it! I don't need this shit!" I slammed the door closed when I finished shouting at him.

I was pacing around the office trying to calm down but it wasn't working. I mean, the gall on that man. To come in here and yell at me like that. He had no idea what I had gone through. No goddamn idea. God. If he wanted to leave then fine. I don't need him. Thinking about the conversation just made me angrier. I was starting to breathe too fast. I got behind the desk, screamed, and swiped everything but the computer off the desk.

Gemma walked in right as I did that. "You alright?"

"I'm fine." I said, as my phone was ringing. "Hello?"

"Amelia? I need your help."

"What's wrong Luann?"

"The club has Bobby taking over my books. They can't do this, Amelia. Please help me."

"Alright alright. I'm on my way." I said, hanging up. "Luann's freaking out. I gotta go."

"Alright, I'll go with you." Mom said, reaching for her bag.

"No. The last thing I need is Dad getting mad because you went down to the porn studio."

"Alright well, be careful."

"I will."

I went out to mom's car and started to drive off to the studio. I passed my dad and Tig coming in when I went out. Tig did not look happy. Oh well, I pushed that out of my mind and tried to focus on the road and Luann. I mean, what did she expect ME to do. I have no say in club business. I'm just a daughter and old lady. Hell, I may not even be an old lady anymore