The next morning I went to the hospital before work. Tig was sleeping, so I just sat with him hoping that he would wake up, but dreading it at the same time. I started thinking about Jax. How the hell was I going to stop him from going Nomad? If he left then that would be the end of our family. He couldn't be out on the road alone like that. We have too many enemies, especially now. Maybe I could explain that to him and appeal to his better judgment. Hell, maybe when I told them what happened to me, he would change his mind.

"Hey." Dawn said, coming into the room.

"Jesus Christ." I jumped, holding my chest. "A little warning next time?"

"Sorry. You looked deep in thought."

"Yeah. Sorry, it's been a long night."

"Yeah. I'm sorry about Luann. I know you two were close."

"Thanks. Look, he's been asleep the whole time so I didn't have a chance to tell him about it."

"Do you want me to?"

"No, no. That's my job. I'll come back another time. You visit with him."

"Thanks." She said, sitting down as I got up to leave.

I walked out of the room and saw Tara watching from the nurse's station. "Watch her."

"You got it. Hey, I'm sorry about last night."

"Yeah. Me too."

"Wait." She said, grabbing my arm. "What does Jax going Nomad mean?"

I sighed. "It's nothing good. It means that he won't belong to any charter. He will just be riding, alone, all of the time."

"What do you mean, won't belong to any charter?"

"Basically it means he won't have a home. He'll bounce around from place to place and never really stay put."

"So he would be leaving Abel?"

"Yeah. I don't think he's really thought about how bad of an idea this actually is. Look, with the enemies we have, especially now… He'll be an easy target. Nomad is like club limbo, not really here nor there. It's where riders go when they don't want to settle down, but Jax has already settled down. Nomad is bad news."

"Then we have to stop him."

"I'm gonna try. Maybe you should too."

"Jax doesn't care what I think."

"You'd be surprised. He loves you, Tara. Whether me or Gemma support it or not doesn't matter. He loves you. Play on that."

"I can't manipulate him."

"You'll have to. It's the only way to keep him safe. Don't think of it as manipulating him, think of it as keeping him safe."

"Is that what you do?"

"Yeah. It is."

"He doesn't even tell me the truth. I'm afraid he'll push me away if I try to tell him not to go."

"Can you handle the truth? This life comes with a lot of bad and a lot of good. Sometimes in the extremes. If you can't handle that, then this will never work."

"Does Tig tell you everything?"

"Yeah. I know about every skeleton in his closet, and he knows mine."

"Well…"

"Yeah yeah yeah. He's gonna know, but he's been in a coma so… Anyway, it won't work if he isn't honest. Just do what I do. Make him tell you. No truth, no pussy."

"Wow, I don't think-"

"Tara, listen. With the guys, the club comes first. That's what me and Jax grew up knowing. You have to show him that you're game, for all of it."

"How do you do it? Honestly, how do you stay loyal to this club after everything it's put you through. Especially now."

"The club is my family. I will always stand by my family, regardless of anything else. My mom always says, you love the man and you learn to love the club. You love Jax right?"

"Of course I do."

"Then you have to learn to love the club. You have to love every part of him, just like he loves every part of you. You'll be fine." I said, kissing her cheek. "It takes practice, but you'll get there. If you try."

She just nodded as I walked away. I guess I was going to the garage. Nothing else for me to do. Mom was already there, against mine and dad's protests. God, she's stubborn. I stopped walking as my phone buzzed. I pulled it out of my purse and saw a message from Jax. About to tell Otto about Luann. We have to find out who did this.

I know. And we will. Tell him I'm sorry.

I put my phone back in my pocket and looked up. I had stopped right in front of the chapel. I went inside and walked over to the candles. I lit one for Luann and knelt down to pray. I prayed that she would be at peace and then I prayed for my family. I prayed that we would get through this and that we would all be okay.

As I was getting up to leave, Unser came in the door.

"Didn't know you prayed."

"Thought I'd give it a shot, for Luann's sake."

"Yeah. I'm really sorry about that."

"It should have never happened."

"You think it was Zobelle?"

"No. She's not high profile enough. If he started with me and then mom, there's no way he'd go after Luann now. Probably something to do with porn."

"Yeah probably." He said, sitting down.

"How's Mrs. Unser?" I said, with a smirk.

"Ah, well, I wouldn't know. She left me a few months ago."

"Oh, Wayne, I'm sorry. Did she say why?"

"It was my fault. These cancer drugs make me a real prick."

"Why didn't you tell us?"

"If I remember correctly, you had enough going on a few months ago."

"Still… If there's anything I can do. Drive you to appointments, whatever. Don't hesitate to call." I said, patting his shoulder and going to leave.

"Actually." He said, grabbing my hand. "There's this revival service at my church tomorrow at 3. My support group is all going. I could use a ride."

I sighed. "Wayne…"

"It's just a ride. Don't have to be more if you don't want it to be. I know you're not one for the, what was it? Poor me circle jerks?"

"You remember that?" He nodded. "Fine. I'll pick you up at 2:30."

"Thanks, Amelia."

"Yeah yeah yeah." I said, walking out of the room and to my car. God, I can't believe I just agreed to that.