AN: So some of Balm is being used in my Fa Guan chapters because I have adjusted how things are happening. BUT this is your warning. We are coming to the end. Please review and tell me what you guys think!

I went to the garage and saw mom working in the office. The guys were all over by the picnic tables, except for Jax. He was walking into the clubhouse. We were divided and that means we were vulnerable. That was never good. I walked into the office with mom.

"Hey baby."

"Hey." I said, falling onto the couch, lying down.

"You okay?"

"I just agreed to take Unser to church tomorrow."

"Why?"

"Della left him."

"What?! Since when?"

"Few months ago."

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I just found out, mom. I offered to help him and he asked for a ride tomorrow."

"So now you're going to church?"

"No. I'm just dropping him off and picking him up. Let me ask you something. You think God forgives us for the bad shit we do?"

"I think that the life we live, it doesn't matter."

"So basically we're all damned?"

"Not necessarily. You've never killed anyone. You're probably good." She said with a smirk.

"Haha. I was being serious. Do you think it's an eye for an eye like it is with the club or is it more like clean slate forgiveness?"

"I honestly don't know. I'm probably not the right person to come to with God questions. What's this about, Amelia?"

"I just… maybe everything that's been happening to us lately is just what we get."

"Like karma?"

"I guess." I sighed and sat up. "I don't know. Maybe we deserve it because of all the pain we've caused."

"I don't think we deserve what's happening to us. And plus, the rest of us aside. You don't deserve any kind of retribution. The worst thing you've ever done is give Tig a handjob at the fair." She laughed.

"We were in the photobooth. God, you're never gonna let me live that down are you?"

"That's what you get for letting me see the pictures."

"You took them out of the slot. Plus, you could barely even see it."

"Yeah. Tig loved that comment."

"Yeah." I smiled. "It's not like you and dad haven't done it."

"No one ever saw our pictures."

"Whatever." I said, standing. "I'm going to talk to Jax."

"Wait a minute." She reached into the drawer and pulled out some kind of book. "J.T. wrote this. He talks about going Nomad in one of the chapters. I know Jax has the other copy. Tell him to look at page 449."

She handed me the book and I opened it to the page she mentioned. It read:

'I found myself lost in my own club. I trusted few, feared most. Nomad offered escape and exile. I didn't know if leaving would cure or kill this thing we created. I didn't know if it was an act of strength or cowardice. I didn't know…so I stayed. I stayed because in the end, the only way I could hold this up was to suffer under the weight of it.'

"J.T wanted to go Nomad?"

"It was towards the end. Before he started disappearing to Ireland. He was lost. He hated his life and in the end he let the road take it. I don't want Jax to suffer the same fate."

"Neither do I. I'll talk to him."

I walked over to the clubhouse. Dad tried to stop me, but I just pushed past him.

"Hey Jax."

"You're not gonna talk me out of it, Amelia."

"Okay. You're still gonna shut up and listen."

"You're too much like Gemma."

"I don't think that's possible." We laughed. "Look, mom told me you have your old man's manuscript."

"How did-"

"You seriously asking that? She knows everything. That's why we never got away with anything."

"You got away with a lot."

"I was the babygirl. Of course I did. Anyway… Have you read page 449?"

"I've read it all."

"Then you need to reread that page. J.T. considered going Nomad, but he knew that he had to stay. He stayed because he wanted to change things, Jax. And I know you want the same. The shit the club has been through lately. None of it is good for kids."

"I know that. If I don't leave now then either me or Clay is gonna end up dead."

"Mom said that J.T. was lost. She said that he let the road take him. I don't want you to do the same."

"I am not J.T."

"Then stay. Protect your family. Don't abandon your son."

"Amelia."

"No. You've been trying to change things for a while now. We both know that dad hasn't got that much longer left in his hands. You will be the next president of SAMCRO, but only if you stay. If you run away now then you are condemning this charter to what it is now. There will never be any change."

"I'll come back when Clay steps down."

"Come on, Jax. Even I know it doesn't work that way."

"I've made up my mind, Amelia. Vote's tonight." He said, walking away.

"Jax! Jackson! Don't just walk away! What about Abel?!"

He stopped and turned his head. "Abel will be fine. Between you and mom, that kid's set for life."

"You're really gonna just abandon your son."

"Abel deserves so much better than I can give him. He deserves a good life."

"You really think he'll get that if you leave."

"I know he will." He walked up to me and held my face in his hands. "I've seen you with him. You're gonna be a great mom. Plus you're graduating. No more school. You'll need something to do."

"I don't wanna talk your place, Jackson."

"I'm not asking you to. I'm just asking you to keep him safe until I come back."

"And what if you don't? We have more enemies than friends right now. What am I supposed to tell him about his father?"

"You tell him the truth."

"The truth? I don't think any of us know what's true anymore."

"You know. You always have. You've always been able to see through the bullshit. You're gonna be a great mom." He kissed my forehead and walked back to his room.