How does someone get ready to meet a Master of the Mystic Arts? Well, if Bucky Barnes is in control of your preparations, you first are pampered into a state of utter contentment after being brought to the very edge of heaven, but that's ONLY if you have Bucky as your tour guide. Once he felt certain that I was in better shape than I woke up in, and while I was a gasping mess again, I can assure you that I felt far more content than I had when I woke up - he pulled me into the bathroom and helped me shower.
"Let me help you out, Mrs. Barnes," shaking my head, I gave him my hand, but he took more initiative than that, scooping me up and lifting me from the tub so I didn't have the slightest chance of slipping.
Laughter bubbled out of me, even as I tucked my face into his bare neck. "You're ridiculous," he didn't put me down, not until he carried me into our room and I was going to complain that I was wet and we didn't have towels in our bedroom, but I missed him grabbing a couple before he left the bathroom. When he set me down, holding up a towel to start drying me, after wrapping one around his waist to keep from distracting me - I reminded him of just WHY he was ridiculous. "We're not married YET, Bucky Barnes, so you're jumping the gun on calling me that -"
He was grinning down at me as he dried my hair, so at peace that it made my heart beat faster. "YET being the important word in that sentence, Brooke." Leaning down he stole a soft kiss, before continuing to dry me, moving the towel to my neck and shoulders. "I like how it sounds, don't you?"
The smile that spread across my lips told him more than my words ever could. And that kept us on task - drying and dressing, Bucky did let me take control over my hair and makeup, then with a promise that Dr. Stephen Strange wasn't nearly as formidable as I might be afraid of, then together we headed to the shed to get into the car and drive into Greenwich.
"Greenwich?" I buckled in and had a travel cup of juice while he had his cup of coffee. "There's a magical power base in Greenwich Village?"
Bucky chuckled and we were off.
"OK, so give me a head's up," I finished my juice and so far our little bean was letting me keep it. "What am I about to walk into?" Bucky was driving with more confidence than I would through the streets to get us to my appointment with the doctor/magic person.
Squinting out of the windshield he considered my question. "Sam says there are the Big Three," I turned so I was facing him as he drove, listening to the wonders of what Sam Wilson had to say on this subject. "Androids, Aliens, and Wizards." Bucky's dimple came out and he glanced over to see if I was paying attention, seeing my rapt pupil stare, he went on. "Now I disagreed, because that's ridiculous for so many reasons, not the least because Dr. Strange identifies as a sorcerer, I think."
"Yeah, I can see why that would be problematic to Sam's well thought out logic," my dry tone had his teeth coming out to join his smile.
"He's arrogant, and a bit of a know-it-all, but he was one of the best neurosurgeons in the world before his accident," I nodded, that made sense, most people who had that kind of press let it go to their heads. "He gave it all up to study with a master, and ended up in charge of protecting the Sanctum here," he was parking in front of a beautiful building in Greenwich Village. "He might come off a little -" he turned off the engine and turned to face me. "The important part, Brooke, is that he might be able to figure it out - whatever is causing you so much pain and trouble when you're sleeping. And with our little addition," his hand fell to my flat stomach and mine covered his automatically. "I just want you to have some kind of peace, sweetheart."
I met him halfway for a kiss before he got out to help me out of the car. Then with a very deep breath, linking our fingers, we climbed the steps so I could finally meet the good doctor.
Dr. Stephen Strange did not answer the door, instead a man dressed as I imagined a Tibetian monk might have opened the door and introduced himself as Wong. Before I could say a word, or Bucky could, a man wearing a cape and bearing an incredible resemblance to a magician my dad hired for one of my birthday parties descended the massive staircase with a flair that I thought many an actor would envy. The doctor was in, I presumed.
"Ah, yes, Sergeant Barnes," he greeted Bucky with a pleasant voice, somewhat warmer than I was expecting. "And this must be your lovely fiancee, Brooke Ashley. A second congratulations is in order, I believe, since you are going to be adding to your family as well." He offered his hand and I tried to close my mouth - how had he? "I apologize, Miss Ashley, I like to prepare for my appointments ahead of time." His hand was cool and enveloped mine easily. "Now, while Wong keeps Sergeant Barnes company, why don't you and I take some time to chat privately."
He took me into what looked like a library, but it wasn't only filled with books. Offering me a comfortable chair, he sat across from me and the silence descended as he studied me. I looked around with interest, wondering if he'd allow me to photograph the Sanctum sometime, it was gorgeous - the way the light came through the windows and struck -
"We can discuss your photography at a later time, Miss Ashley," my head snapped back so our gazes locked. "I think you're here for a more delicate reason."
Great, the therapy part. "Yeah, my fucked up mind is filled with nightmares that I can't possibly be having because those of us who got Snapped into nothingness shouldn't have any memories of anything since NOTHINGNESS." I sighed. "And they're getting worse."
Dr. Strange, leaned forward and stared straight into my eyes. "I don't think you believe that, Brooke, and I don't either." My eyebrow rose. "Well, not the part about them getting worse, that's a common side effect with your current condition," he waved it off, like that part wasn't important at all. Bucky had warned me - arrogant and I think he might have wanted to say brief and impatient.
"Are you saying that we weren't all just GONE?" I stared at him, a challenge clear and heavy on every word. "That isn't what every other person seems to think."
"You'll find that I'm not like every other person, Brooke." At least he wasn't intent on calling me Miss Ashley. "And I'm not insinuating that ALL of us were somewhere defined and definite, but I do think that you were. I think that you were somewhere very unpleasant, Brooke, and I think that it's because when Thanos snapped his fingers, instead of you being Snapped out of existence, you slipped through the cracks into a -" he stopped. "It's difficult to explain, so let me show you -"
Whenever a mystical magical guru with a medical license offers to "show you" anything, ask for some sort of guarantee that you won't experience a more extreme form of vertigo than you ever have in your entire life - and also some sort of contract that stipulates that he won't hold you responsible for the vomit that you WILL end up liberally applying to his lovely cape, that may or may not have a mind of its own.
What he showed me was how layered time was, how vast and infinite the universe, dimensions, and choices could be, and how easy it would have been for someone like me to slip through a crack when the huge purple turd tried to go halfsies with the population of EVERYWHERE. While he admitted it could take time to pinpoint where I'd been, if we even needed to, he felt that unlocking the mystery to break me free from the pain of whatever I'd witnessed or experienced while trapped there for five years might be simpler.
The cape had whipped itself off and flapped away, clearly upset that it was wearing my breakfast juice after my stomach had gone on a magical ride that I hadn't had fair warning about, and we were reseated in the chairs facing one another.
"The easiest beginning," Stephen, as he gave me permission to call him, offered as I took a deep breath. "Would be meditation. Clearing your mind of any fear or worry about what you MIGHT see when you go to sleep." I nodded, thinking that I'd tried it, but not with the knowledge that I was actually RIGHT about the five years I'd been gone. "Don't try to replace it with butterflies and rainbows, just empty your mind, allow your consciousness to replace it with whatever YOU need to - trust yourself to heal yourself." It sounded a bit woo woo silly, but why not? "Two nights," he held up two fingers as if I couldn't count it myself. "Just two nights, Brooke, and then come back."
We found Wong and Bucky in the foyer waiting for us. Bucky looked relieved to see me, as if I'd have gotten lost or sicker - but then he noticed the loss of the cape.
"If you send me the dry cleaning bill for," I offered to Stephen, but he waved it off. "Are you sure?"
"We have a way to clean it up," Wong assured me, and I bit my lip. Mystic magic freaked me out a bit, but if it helped I'd be a believer. "Do you need something to help with the nausea?"
I didn't actually say yes or no, he was handing me a bag of tea, explaining that it would help if I drank it every morning and when I was feeling ready to throw up everything I'd ever thought to eat. "Thank you," he smiled, patting my hand and telling me that he'd see me in a few days.
Bucky helped me into the car, and as we drove away from the curb he asked me how it had gone.
"Aside from covering his cape in vomit?" I shrugged. "He says that I wasn't where most of the other Snapped went." Bucky nodded, glancing at me to get me to keep going. "He thinks that I slipped through some crack and went into a different dimension or timeline?" It wasn't clear, but at least I wasn't crazy. "I'm going to try meditation for the next two nights, a mind dump, basically."
"Makes sense," he offered, reaching for my hand and bringing it to his lips when I gave it to him. "Wong swears by that tea, by the way."
"Does Wong have that much experience with morning sickness?" He chuckled and shook his head. "At this point I'll try anything, I'd like to keep SOMETHING inside of me for more than a few hours."
"Yeah, I know." He sighed. "But I guess now it's been confirmed, right?"
I smiled at how excited he sounded. "Yes, Bucky Barnes, now it's been confirmed." His grin grew. "All that's left is dinner with Connie so you can announce our engagement." His Adam's apple bobbed so I knew he swallowed hard. "Do you want a cup of my anti-puke tea for courage?"