Note: this is loosely connected to Endymion. It could be called a 'side-story' of it. Please check the fic.
Also, this is an experiment work wherein I try to look outside of the box. So for the purists, please don't kill me or mobbed me for this...
...and with that, let's go to the story.
She looked herself at the mirror...
Disgust and shamed etched on her face as her eyes looked down at her body...
Despite being a young lady, she had a petite figure akin to a young teenager...
These were some of the severe effects of malnutrition she experienced when she was young..
As she lightly grazed her neck, as sense of disgust filled her as recalled what happened to her in the past...
The imaginary scent of pungent rusty iron filled her nostrils as well as the rotting scent of moss and decay...
Slowly, she started to pull something from her wrists, as if invisible restraints are placed on them as she desperately tried to remove something off...
...
...
...
WHY AREN'T THESE THINGS GET OFF OF HER!?
As her breathing hitched and her heart beating rapidly, her vision began to blurred out as memories of the past began to resurface...
...
...no...
...
No...
...
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
...
...
...
"ANASTASIA-SAMA!"
Her door slammed wide open as each and everyone of her dear members came rushing in — as panic fills them as soon as they heard her blood-curdling scream. Ricardo and Julius were horrified when they found their own master on her knees—crying her heart and her room was topsy-turvy—while Hetaro and Tivey desperately console Mimi who was the same crying mess as their liege.
"This cannot continue any further. This needs to stop..." the Knight of knights ruffles his hair in frustration as he loathes on his powerlessness at the moment.
"I agree with that. And I have just the perfect person who could help us with that..." the Captain of the Iron Fang added as he gritted his teeth. He hated seeing the one that gave him his freedom in such a state. Hopefully, the person he was recommended could help ease his master's "nightly excursions..."
"..and with that, we need your help in making the Boss relax and find out what's causing her to be this way.."
The dog man finished his story as he exhaled to catch his breath. Man, who knew talking was more tiresome than fighting and warding off bandits?
Ricardo looked at the black-haired boy he held so much respect as he ponder on what he told for the past hour. He could see his face scrunched up as the gears on his head kept turning around, processing the information he had.
The captain of the Iron Fang turned his gaze to his fellow members of their faction and gritted his teeth on his frustration and despair as he sympathized each and every one of them...
With them were Julius and the triplets, as all of them are observing the nasty-eyed boy ask he sighed and massaged the bridge of his nose. The purple-haired knight was gripping the handle of his sword tightly to masked his frustration of being so useless in this situation. How his pride hurt to ask someone other than himself to help his liege; someone who isn't even part of their faction and shouldn't have any business with them whatsoever.
It's not that he hated the knight—he desperately wanted to befriend him despite the horrible past they both shared— it was just as the swore knight of Anastasia Hoshin, it was his duty and responsibility to help aid his lady with whatever he can.
"I truly lack virtue and useless when it matter the most...please, help us..."
Mimi was surprisingly quiet as she prayed and hoped that "Big Boss Bro" would accepted their request. Lost were her usual enthusiasm as her droopy eyes and ears serves as an indicator on the sadness she felt in her heart. Her brothers Hetaro and Tivey tried to cheer her up by patting her head and rubbing her back but to no avail. Shame and self-loathing bubbles up from the brother's eyes as they turned their gaze to their visitor like he was a light on a very dark tunnel.
"Please, please...help us bring our joyful sister back..."
Lastly, the visitor kept on scratching the back of his head as he was both sympathized and stunned on what he observed on each and every one of them. Don't get him wrong, he wanted to help them with the best of his abilities, but the request they gave to him was very peculiar, to say at least.
"I get what your saying, but it still doesn't answers my question: why me? We have Felix whose the greatest healer of Lugnica and he has extensive knowledge in medicine and different kinds of diseases. If that's not enough, maybe someone from Kararagi or Vollachian could help Anastasia-san what's going on with her..." Subaru Natsuki voiced out his concerns as the situation didn't makes sense to him.
The Anastasia camp—spearheaded by Ricardo and Julius—requested Emilia to let Subaru come to their mansion for "treaty purposes". Confusion washed on every one of them and the half-elf offered to come with him but they gracefully decline as it was too "small" to need her attention with and her knight's attendance would be suffice.
Though having doubt in this sketchy set-up, the silver-haired royal candidate reluctantly agreed and deployed Subaru towards the main house of the Hoshin Trading Company. As he arrived at the main house, his suspicions only raised when he saw the despaired and messy look of Julius and Ricardo. Oh how his heart breaks when he saw Mimi ran towards him—crying her heart out and asking for help.
"What the hell's going on? Why are you guys looked like as if someone just died!?"
Shaking his flashbacks, the Anastasia camp waited for his answer. The suspense and dread is very heavy that internally he wanted to get out of this place as fast as possible. But it would be a disgrace to both for himself and his liege—therefore he had no other choice but just bear with it.
Julius gave a tired sigh as he looked at his fellow knight—with hollow eyes and a remorse expression that are unbecoming from someone who was a "top model" for being a knight— and answered him:
"You think we didn't try those options too!? Every healer we met and inquired couldn't find anything wrong about her. Even Felix was so frustrated that he stayed for three days just to find any diagnosis and remedy to Anastasia-sama's mysterious illness."
" As he left, he highly recommended you stating that 'even if I can't determine and cure her, I'm very certain with great confidence that Subaru-kun can, as he did for Crusch-sama..."
"So please...I beg of you, Subaru...whatever Felix—the greatest healer of our Kingdom—saw in you...please help us save our lady..."
The surprises never stop popping to Subaru as shock was an understatement on what he's feeling at the moment and what Julius did in front of him...
…the noblest of knights slowly got up from his seat and slowly approaches him. As he was about to ask as to what's going on, the knight fell on his knees—as he tightly clenched both of Subaru's knees while bowing his head. Though a part of him was surprised and a bit elated, he felt so sad and sympathetic to see someone reduced into a broken man.
"You can help her, can you Big Boss Bro?"
Suddenly, his gaze shifted towards the little orange demi-human as she pierced her sorrowful gaze through his soul. She looked like a child who've lost her will to live and tries to cling to whatever she can to stay afloat…
"I can't bear to look at her that way…it breaks my heart seeing Mimi like this…"
"That same applies to all of them… Damn it…"
"Fine, I'll see what I can do...But please don't expect anything from me. I don't know why Felix placed his trust as someone as normal and non-special as me, but I'll try..." the black-haired knight sighed as the crushing pressure of expectations is starting to suffocate him, as well as the guilt and sadness from Julius and Mimi.
The dark clouds that were looming over them slowly dissipated as a sense of catharsis was felt to every one of them. For once, tears of joy was shed to every member of the Anastasia faction as each of them gave their heartfelt gratitude to the nasty-eyed hero and promised to give a hefty reward when everything is finished.
Subaru was now standing in front of the lavender-haired lass's room. Seriously, he doesn't know what to expect. If the greatest healer and other amazing people with expertise couldn't debunk what Anastasia-san's sickness is, what makes them so sure he can!?
"Seriously, what in the hell are these lofty expectations come from!? I'm not Buddha or any divine being damn it!" he muttered as it frustrated and scared him as many expect him to do 'some sort of miracle'— a useless, pathetic nobody with only Return by Death as his ace.
"Well, here goes nothing, wish me luck." he sarcastically mused as he gently but firmly knocked the hardwood door three times.
"Come in, I suppose..."
With confirmation, the black-haired knight gripped the handle and let himself in...
Shock and curiosity were the two main emotions filling in Anastasia Hoshin's mind at the moment...
Why is Subaru Natsuki here!?
Due to the incident that happened days ago, lately she's having visits from every healer on every corner of the world. Internally, she's a bit angry on wasting money for the expenses of paying without any viable results. Heck, even the greatest healer and knight of one of her rival couldn't pinpoint what's wrong with her.
With that said, why is another knight from a rival camp is here on her mansion!?
Initially, she doesn't bat an eye to any useless information, especially from a blabbering kid that made a fool of himself at the castle and was severely beat-up for being disrespectful to the Royal Knights.
But as time passes by, the enigma such as Subaru Natsuki proved to be a force to be reckoned with...
One by one, impossible feats are achieved by the boy which were deem impossible to do for someone so ordinary and weak. The White Whale. Sloth. The Great Rabbit. Pristella. Greed. Pleiades Watchtower. Vollachia. As he succeed in every unfathomable challenge, his fame grew and grew...
Her respect grew as he gave an awestruck, heartfelt, and moving speech during the despair of Pristella, turning the tides of battle. Their friendship grew when he helped her 'apparent possession' by Echidna and their reunion with Julius—who was temporarily forgotten like the blue-haired maid— during the journey to the watchtower.
That being said, she couldn't understand what's the point of him being here. "When I get my hands on Ricardo and Julius for wasting precious money..." she tiredly sighed as she watches him approaches. "Well, I guess, he might be fun to be with..." she muttered as she internally rehearse her 'speech' again...
"Heya, Natsuki-kun, what brings you here to see a little 'ol gal, such as me?" she waved as she gave her a small but tired smile.. "Seriously, why are you here!?"
"Hey Anastasia-san. It's great to see you too...So, how're you been? It's been a while, has isn't it?" he smiled cheerfully as he notices the royal candidate on her nightwear while clinging to a cute stuffed doll that looks similar to Mimi.
"Strange, why she's still wearing a choker in bed?" he though as something felt a little off—like that there's some loss of cheer in her voice and she's somewhat tired or something—but just shook it off.
"Nah, maybe it's just my imagination..."
"A bit angry that I'm lazing around while I could have earn more profit. But it's fine, I guess , to relax from time to time...So, what did Julius and Ricardo told ya?" she asked as she slightly squeezed the stuffed doll.
"They told me to help to with something, but it seems that you're just fine, I suppose..."
"Yeah, those two are overreacting...Seriously, when I get off on this bed, I'll give them a scolding they'll never forget..." frustrated, she ruffles the doll's fur—somewhat similar head patting the doppelganger Mimi.
"Hahaha, let me join you, always wanted to see Julius's shameful face once in a while..." Subaru lightly jest but internally cringed as he remember the purple mop's distraught face before he entered the room.
"For sure you would want that, considering what he did to ya at the palace..." she smirks as she gave the boy a knowing look.
"Ack! Stop it...That was s~o embarrassing... I want to dig a hole and hide myself or turn back time and beat myself up." Subaru over dramatically covered his face and slowly melts to the ground—as his cringe overwhelms him in full force.
In hindsight, he understands what happened at that "infamous" incident—and he personally accepted that it was well-deserved— but still felt a bit hurt and pissed off on how Julius didn't even hold back in beating the living hell out of him.
Softly laughing, Anastasia sighs and look at the black-haired knight. "Maybe this won't be boring after all." she internalized as teasing him was so much fun than she initially thought.
"C'mon, what was it? 'I'm Subaru Natsuki...Emilia-tan's one and only knight..."
"...sto~p i~t...the cringe...I really want to kill myself..."
"We wouldn't want that...do we, Hero of Pristella?"
Subaru never knew that this will be a very LONG night...
Gradually, the conversation shifts to one topic to another. From the usual curiosity on what each other had been doing, how's their respective factions, to knowing each others hobbies and favorite past times, and light banter and teasing from one way from another. Anastasia was genuinely amazed on how in such a little time, she's really have fun talking and jesting with Emilia's knight.
"Never knew the merchant queen is an alcoholic. Is that a requirement on being a merchant or something?"
"I AM NOT! I just said I love the fine taste of exquisite liquor! You're making me sound like a rummy or somethin.."
"...what's the difference?"
"Why you little..."
"Wow, that's big coming from you, Anastasia-san..."
"Grrrr..."
"How can someone make her feel so light-hearted, comfortable, and relaxed?" Sure, she has her camp members—which she loves them to death—but nothing really compares to what she's doing right now. Laughing her heart out at the boy's antics and teasing while she counters him and makes him flustered.
Now she somewhat understands why some people love to be with Subaru— he's so fun to be with and every moment is a different experience. "Wish I had him sooner..."
The night continued as laughter, banter, and occasional shouting filled the mansion.
"Well, it's getting late, I think we should get some sleep, Ana-chan" Subaru finalized as drowsiness started to fill his body.
He really didn't expect —as a matter in fact, really didn't expected anything— to have a worthwhile time with the lavender-haired lass. It was really refreshing to have someone to have a "comical banter" that doesn't insults you (Ram), making it too easy to make fun of them even further (Otto and Garfiel), or being clueless and being polite (Emilia and Frederica).
Strangely, he learned more about who the royal candidate is right now than he had in the past. Even though he still doesn't know why Ricardo, Julius and the others mean in "helping and curing her", nevertheless, he really have quite some fun teasing and talking with Anastasia.
"Yeah, when you're right, you're right...Myself need some beauty sleep to freshen up my beautiful face." the royal candidate replied—internally agreeing and sharing the same sentiment with the black-haired knight. "Damnit, I should've got and talk to you sooner..."
"...especially, for you Natsuki-kun. We shouldn't get wrinkles on your face. You're already scary enough with your 'unique' set of eyes..." she lightly chuckled as she couldn't help teasing him.
"Ghk! Well, yeah. We should get going. Otherwise, you'll not have enough sleep to grow any taller soon.." he countered while laughing as he mentally prepared himself for the backlash that is to come...
"I'M NOT A LOLI!"
...and said backlash is Anastasia throwing a pillow towards his face. As he was initially laughing at the 'cute' retort, something caught his eye that made his heart drop.
...
...
...
"...Ana, why do you have bandages on your wrists?"
Suddenly, the "fun and warm" atmosphere slowly turned back to the despair and horror one from when he first came to this place.
She couldn't breathe...
...no...
No...no...no…
NO!
She was so close!
Please...
...please let it be a dream...
...please let her wake up from this dreadful nightmare...
Anastasia's mind was spinning as her breathing hitched and fear, shame, and disgust filled her being—just when she thought that she had a great night and acquired a friend in Subaru.
...and was spoiled when he saw her "shame"...
...no...he shouldn't saw these...why is fate so cruel?
Her heart beats faster as fragments of her past flashed through her mind...
The time when she was a slave...
The rustling of chains attached on her wrists and neck...
The sleepless nights due to starvation and mending painful lash wounds...
The times where force labor is all she known about...
The moments when her captors would violently pull her collar and wrist restraints, hurting and choking her...
The time when she almost got...
"Ana? Ana! Are you okay? What's wrong? Please talk to me!?"
Subaru begs as she sees the mauve-haired merchant being agitated and in a trance. Tears fell on both sides of her face as she desperately got drowned on her thoughts. As he slowly approaches her, she snapped back.
"Get away from me! Please, don't look at me! You shouldn't...you shouldn't see any of these! Don't come any closer!"
Subaru looked at the royal candidate with remorse as the poor girl was shaking uncontrollably and her tears didn't stop flowing out of her eyes. Anastasia was hugging herself as she blames herself for ruining the night because of her "secret".
"Why? And we had such a great time too.." she lamented as self-loathing starts to fill her...
...but as her eyes starts to be hollow and empty, someone gently patted and rubbed her hair. Surprised, she looked at the culprit with defeated and sorrowful eyes.
"Shhhh...please...don't fret. It's okay, Ana...I'm here for you..." Subaru look at the frail girl with a warm smile and sincere eyes. It was at that moment he realized something:
"So this must how Beako felt when I had my own 'nightly excursions'..."
"I may not know what happened to you that prompted you to do it, but just know that I don't think any less about you, Ana. In fact..."
Anastasia was surprise when Subaru started to unzip his jacket—and was shock to see both of his arms covered with scars. Each surface of his skin was riddled with scratches as some of them are fresher than the others. "Why does someone like him have those scars too?!" Her bewilderment grew even further as to why Subaru is showing his "weakness" to someone whose not even close to him.
"Let's just say that, I know the feeling all too well, Ana-san..."
"Initially, I was so ashamed and hated myself that I would hurt myself frequently under the noses of my friends. But as time passes by—and with the support of my cute little Spirit—it made me realized that in a weird way, scars are beautiful."
"Don't get me wrong, it really looks ugly and gruesome. But my point is this: scars are proof that you lived out your own trials and succeed on them. Despite how impossible, horrible, or excruciatingly painful the challenge or your past may be, you endured it and prevailed. It may be ugly, but in the end, it will pass..."
"The past is the past. Nothing will come from just looking back at it and be frozen shut on it. You are here. Being surrounded with the people that loves and cares for you.
"So please Anastasia, don't feel that your alone in this world. Many people are concern with you and want to help you on whatever they can, including me..."
"So Anastasia, just know that we're here for you..."
"...you are loved.."
"...you matter…"
...the dam finally broke as Anastasia jumped to Subaru's arms as she cried her heart out.
Those words...
She wanted to hear those words...
She was so afraid that she pushed her friends away from her because of her weakness...
She blames herself seeing how they are now drowning in sadness and despair, all because she was afraid that they'll think of her differently...
She was afraid...so afraid...
..to be alone be be chained by her past...
...the night continued as the black-haired knight consoled the crying mauve-haired girl in his arms...
One month later...
It was a tedious, stressful, but worthwhile experience...
As much as he said to her that no one will love and care for her any less, Anastasia stubbornly didn't want to open up her "secret" to the others— which he also understands since it personally took him years to finally open up to Emilia and others as well.
So in order to compensate for it, Subaru decides to prolong his stay at the Hoshin main house and spends some time with her—so that she'll be comfortable and also not to overwhelm her.
They decided to go on little trips like to the flower garden, eat different desserts at local cafes, taste exquisite cuisines at restaurants...
...while at night, the black-haired knight converse with Anastasia on her own trauma and let her vent and spill all of her being to him—while of course with no one other than themselves to hear all of this.
This gave a golden opportunity to get to know the real Anastasia Hoshin, not as the Merchant Queen, but as the person herself. In turn, he also shared his own secrets, fears, and dreams—as to not to be unfair.
Subsequently, their "secret night sessions" helped both of them heal their wounds, physically and emotionally.
For Anastasia, she finally have the opportunity to disclose her bottled-up emotions and thoughts to someone where she can be herself—just Anastasia.
For Subaru, it was a opportunity to re-evaluate his own mental growth and be their to someone who had a similar case of hiding everything under a smile. He really thank everyone from the bottom of his heart who had help him recover and make him strive to be the best person he could be.
...slowly and surely, wounds heal and hearts mend. Consoling and regenerating the soul and mind…
…as crying, laughter, banter, teasing, and heartfelt words echoed through the mansion…
It was the fateful day of his departure from the mansion. As his belongings were placed at the carriage, Subaru met with Ricardo and Julius as they bid him farewell.
"I couldn't begin to thank you for helping us, pal. We really, really owe a huge debt to you..."
"It's okay, you don't have to really pay me with anything. All I did was talk and spend some time with her."
"Modest, aren't we? But really, please take the money, we really do owe you big time. And it shames us to pull you out on your busy schedule."
"Again, Ricardo, I said it's okay. Besides, I actually had a great time here. So let's say we're equal. And before that, would you stop kneeling in front of me Julius!?"
The dog man laughed as Subaru groaned and complained as Julius kept kneeling and bowing in front of him as they converse. The mansion was slowly going back to normal as Anastasia's condition is getting better each day. She gradually started to open up more to them—with her usual cheer and wit returning as well.
Even though they didn't know what he did, each of Ana's faction were really grateful to Subaru. And the one who's the most grateful is...
"No, you saved my lady from the clutches of despair. As a knight, I must show great respect to those who save me...and to show my repentance for the disrespect I did to you at the castle..."
Ricardo laugh even further as the nasty-eyed boy groaned even more at his stubborn friend's rigid attitude...
"Well, this is goodbye, see you when I see you Ricardo and Julius..."
"Yeah, see ya, boss kid.."
"Of course, Subaru Natsuki. Knight Subaru Natsuki."
As he was about to proceed towards his carriage, a scream was heard from behind them...
"Wait...stop, Natsuki-kun. Stop the carriage..." the merchant queen yelled as she was gasping for air from running towards the front yard.
Confused, he turned and approached her while she catches her breath. As soon as he was very near to her, Anastasia immediately hugged him—stunning both of her subordinates.
"Do ya hafto go?" her accent returning as her muffled voice vibrates on Subaru's jacket. "Man, what's with these faction having cute members?" he mumbled while slipping a light chuckle. He proceeds to ruffle her hair which made her look at him.
"Yeah. Besides, it's not like I can't hang around with you guys again, right? Tell you what, when I'm free, let's spend some time together again, okay? Just you and me…" he winked at her which unconsciously made her heart skip a beat.
Anastasia's face brightens as she lightly jumped and feel giddy—which further shocks Julius and Ricardo.
"Okay! Tell me when, and I'll arrange for us to go sightseeing. Or maybe a taste test at different restaurants. Or maybe..." her mind begins to drift to many plans and trips she wants to go together with the black-haired knight.
"Sounds like a plan..." he lightly chuckled as he was so happy for her and genuinely excited to go on a trip with her. "I always want to go to Kararagi..."
"Yehey! So please come back soon, okay?"
"Yeah, I'll send you a letter to notify you..."
"...and oh, Anastasia-san?"
"Yeah?"
"Please don't forget what I said. We're here for you..."
Anastasia's smile was so big that it could probably light up the whole district. It didn't even falter as she continued to waved at Subaru's carriage as it leaves to their mansion.
As much as they were elated seeing their liege smile like that, questions echoed in both the Captain of the Iron Fang and the Knight of Knights:
"...what did Subaru Natsuki do!?"
"...and why is Anastasia-sama really excited to spend time with him!?"
"Darling, are you okay? Why is my beloved smiling at this hour? Did something amazing happened?"
Louanna asked as she noticed that a smile etched on her husband's face while they were sightseeing at their flower garden. Even though it wasn't strange— considering ever since that day she woke up from her "endless slumber", the Astrea house was livelier and it was before and Heinkel couldn't stop smiling and showering her with love and affection.
So she was curious as to why he was smiling while looking at a distance...
"I'm sorry, dear. It's just that I suddenly remember Subaru Natsuki..."
"Oh, the savior that gave you the potion to wake me up?"
"Yeah, somehow, I get a strange feeling...that he saved another one somehow..."
"Then I must meet this person. He must be quite amazing and extraordinary to earn such praise..."
"Don't worry, dear. I really love you to meet our hero of our house in the near future..."
Author's Note:
...Anastasia is so underrated...
...so, this is my own spin in writing her. Hope you guys like it? :)
Thank you Dorugi for beta-reading and complementing it. Man's such a chad. Please check his works. You'll not be disappointed
Again, purists, please don't kill me XD
Thank you so much for the constant love and support. Please leave a like and comment to share your thoughts on the fic. Highly appreciate it 3
As always, see you in the next work. Take care
-I hope you like it?