The Houses Competition
House: Ravenclaw
Class: Herbology
Category: Standard
Prompt(s) chosen: [Action] Running, [Animal] Boa Constrictor, [Character] Trolley Witch, [Character] Scabbers/Peter Pettigrew, [Dialogue] "You've got dirt on your nose." [Dialogue] "It's not funny!" [Event] Shopping, [Event] Robbery, [Location] Platform nine and three quarters, with a focus on the barrier/wall between nine and ten, [Location] Dragon Reserve in Romania, [Object] Letter, [Object] Hogwarts: A History, [Season] Summer, [Word] Deep-Purple Sky, [Word] Castle
Word Count: 2,885 (wordcounter net)
Disclaimers/triggers: none. Characters are all appropriately aged up throughout all events.
Additional AN: I'd say I'm sorry for what I've just released upon the world, but honestly, I'm not. Have fun reading, girls.
xXx
It was a good day for a double date, Neville thought to himself as he grabbed his jacket and then his husband, who was trying to sneak away to go spend more time with his kittens.
A very good day indeed.
xXx
"I'm surprised Harry stayed back at Hogwarts. I figured he'd want to be an auror with Ron and Viktor, not teach Muggle Studies," Neville said, blowing gently on his lavender tea. Argus had one hand resting on Neville's thigh, his other hand busy shoving biscuits into his mouth. It was cute. Neville liked to see the wedding ring on his husband's hand, something that couldn't be done at Hogwarts when Argus cleaned the castle, lest it be damaged.
"He's in love with the moving staircases," Luna said, nibbling on the edge of her plate before Hedwig took it from her. She still seemed a bit awkward grabbing things after all that time in her animagus form with wings and talons, but she was getting better, probably because of all the things she had to confiscate from her girlfriend. She'd already taken a copy of Hogwarts: A History from her just a few minutes ago.
Neville looked to Hedwig for her input on Luna's contribution to their double date conversation, because, quite frankly, most of what Luna said on a daily basis was nonsense. But Hedwig nodded in agreement.
"He keeps sliding down the handrails. Enthusiastically."
Argus choked, and Neville looked over in concern as his husband looked up, snarling around his mouthful of biscuits. "If he gets those steps dirty over break—"
Neville laughed loudly and shushed him before he could say any bad words around Luna, who was very impressionable. But apparently Argus took it the wrong way, because he began to glare even more than usual, which was quite an impressive ability that he had.
"It's not funny!" he said angrily. "The more work I have to do, the less I see you!"
Neville cooed, loudly. "I didn't mean it that way, dear," he apologised.
Soon the conversation changed to flowers, and Hogwarts: A History was passed around as a makeshift platter full of more cookies. Argus had already finished the last batch, and Luna had eaten the tray.
"Well, I've been having trouble with fairies stealing my mugwort for skirts," Neville said, and promptly spilled some tea onto a chapter about the Founders.
xXx
"I like summer," Neville said to Argus. They stood waiting for Hedwig and Luna to show up outside of the Hogsmeade bookshop they had agreed to meet at. "We have all this free time without school. We can spend so much more time together. I have my garden, and you have your foster kittens. And sometimes, I get to see you shirtless!"
"You've got dirt on your nose," came his husband's rather romantic response, and Neville smiled.
"Help me with it!"
"We're in public." Argus said, having the decency of sounding at least somewhat regretful of that fact.
That was one of the troubles with having such an old-fashioned husband, Neville supposed. He wiped the dirt off his nose himself just as the girls arrived, holding hands, Hedwig's hand still slightly spiky with disappearing white feathers. They must have flown.
"Ready to go?" he asked, and once everyone responded, their date began.
Shopping dates were always his favourite, next to gardening and tea dates and literally every day he spent with his husband. Plus, adding twice the people was twice the fun! They entered the bookshop and immediately lost Luna, but eventually found her with Hermione.
"Oh, perfect! I was hoping to run into you!" Hermione said, handing both Neville and Hedwig envelopes. "Invitations to Ron and Viktor's wedding! They're both so busy with work, I'm basically planning it for them!"
Looking down at the letter in his hand, Neville could tell. Neither of the two men had this much taste.
"Oh, Hermione," Luna crooned, tugging her fingers through Hedwig's feathery hair. "What about you? The nargles say your wedding will be next."
Hermione laughed. "Oh, you know me. All I need are my books and my Triumph!"
"Isn't Triumph the name of that motorbike Harry gave you?"
"Yes. Flying makes it rather great on petrol," Hermione told them and then walked past them towards the section on sentient magical item enchantments.
Neville got another book on Herbology, and Hedwig found some romance novels she liked the look of, then they left to go find lunch. After that, Luna needed to stop by an apothecary for some potions supplies, and Hedwig bought some white rats.
"I'm still used to eating them. Spending nine years as an owl will do that," she told Neville when he asked.
"To the Weasley's shop?" he suggested when Argus's back was turned. There was no way his husband would set foot in the store if he could help it but, if they kept him distracted, it might just work.
It didn't.
But the three of them laughed about trying while Argus pouted. They were still laughing as they started to head towards the castle, wanting to make a quick stop to say hi to Harry and his staircase, and Hagrid and the Creevey brothers before they left.
"This has been so fun," Hedwig said as they trekked up the hill, the summer sun disappearing above them. Neville felt like a student again. "And it's so beautiful. I love seeing Hogwarts at sunset. It's all glowing lights, dark stone, and deep-purple sky and stars in the background. The fog comes up from the forest, all the other owls are out hunting…"
"Do you miss being an owl?" Neville asked. Up ahead, Luna was chattering to Argus about some fairytale. Argus looked surprisingly enthralled. He looked so sweet when he got indulgent like that.
"Sometimes. But she's worth being human again for."
Neville nodded. He had never been a bird before, but he understood the sentiment.
Argus was worth a lot too.
"Why did you even pretend to be a bird for so long, by the way?"
"Oh. That. Well, I was just hanging out in Diagon Alley and Harry got so excited when he saw me, I couldn't resist, and, well…. I thought it was funnier this way."
"Somehow I figured there would be a lot more reason behind your decision."
"Yeah everyone does."
xXx
They met up for dinner later that week, served at Luna's house. From what Neville understood, they weren't technically living together yet, Hedwig just frequently roosted there.
They ate outside, since the weather was fantastic, giving Neville an amazing view of the local plant life. Luna was a great cook—if she was supervised—and the three different kinds of cake she served were all good, though one did have icing enchanted to taste like wet pavement. Still, the added crunch was nice.
"The moon calls for a quest," Luna said, just as Neville was polishing off the rest of his strawberry and beetle wing jubilee over ice cream. Again, it was a nice sort of crunch, and the iridescent beetle wings acting sort of like rainbow sprinkles.
"That means a walk," said Hedwig, "or sometimes it's an actual quest, in which case we need to save the world from dark forces again."
"Fair enough. I just hope there won't be more evil giant snakes this time." Neville said, and stood up.
"Never fear. Ever since Voldemort had that deadly lovers quarrel with his younger self, and Tom Riddle killed him, the giant snakes have gotten a lot friendlier and a lot less evil," Luna said, which was true. The two forms of Voldemort killing one another over who loved the other less had pretty much solved the evil snake problem before they graduated.
Luna skipped ahead of them through the garden, and Argus trailed behind, grumbling about something to do with the licorice pancake syrup Luna had made him try.
As usual, this left the more sensible two together to keep an eye on their respective partners and plan world domination. Also a picnic.
"I think you should cook this time." Hedwig said. Neville had no idea why when Luna was so good at it, but he agreed— on the condition that she bring her own rodents. "Also, I think we should utilise squibs more when we take over the government."
"Oh, absolutely. Argus will love that. He likes ruining people's day."
"Cute." Hedwig said, and before that could go any further, they both, at the same time, spotted Luna attempting to eat dirt, and had to run to catch her.
Unfortunately, she saw them coming, so she grabbed another handful and also started to run. Interestingly enough, she ran towards Argus.
"This is a robbery!" She gasped, and Neville watched as she threw the dirt into his husband's face and kidnapped him while he was trying to get it out. She attempted to drag him off, but unfortunately for her (and very fortunately for everyone else), Argus, bless his evil little heart, was not very fast, and slowed her down significantly. Also, to both Neville and Hedwig's dismay, once he realised what was happening, Argus did begin to spew profanities, and Luna, being of course still very impressionable, paused to listen to them.
This did allow the pursuers to run up and catch their breaths without issue, but had negative effects later, of which Argus would be scolded about many times in the future.
"Please don't steal my husband," Neville said once Argus had stopped spewing profanities and the stars were therefore gone from Luna's eyes.
"I had no such intention. I only wanted the kitten in his coat pocket." Luna declared.
xXx
The picnic went well. Neville made sandwiches, and they ran into Hagrid and his husbands at the Dragon Reserve, as well as Charlie, who declared himself happily married to his job and aromantic.
"Oh, that's what Hermione and Harry are! They said all they needed to be happy with, um, Harry had the moving staircases, and Hermione had that old bike of Sirius'! Said it was all she needed!" Hagrid said happily as Dennis put out the fire on his husband's beard. Colin sat a ways off, giggling at them both in a rather enamoured way and snapping pictures with that muggle camera of his.
"No offense, mate, but I don't think that she meant that in an aroace way." Charlie told Hagrid, and took the baby dragon from the half giant. "Sorry this little one took the rest of the sandwiches, Neville. I didn't even see him sneaking up!"
Neville shook his head. "Oh, it's no problem, we were mostly done eating anyway. All that's left is a dessert that Luna and I made. Can you pass that here, Looney, and I'll cut it up?"
Lavender fudge was a new mix for him, but everyone agreed it tasted quite lovely, along with a cocktail of cucumber soda, gin, and some bubblegum syrup thing Luna had unearthed from her mother's experimental potions.
xXx
They next went shopping to buy some last minute items at Diagon Alley before school started. Adequate quills to give out to students who forgot theirs, plenty of parchment and ink, some novels for the bedside table, new crystal balls for Luna, owl treats, and some additional things. Neville persuaded the others rather easily to stop by a greenhouse to browse, and got some alien eyed celosia as a guard plant for while he was away from his own garden, and some seeds for plants he would need for classes.
They stopped for tarts at a little cafe and to look at birds at a pet shop. Then Luna dragged Hedwig into a sweets shop with the express purpose of putting the Trolley Witch to shame, and Argus took Neville to look at enchanted mops.
Argus wasn't the best at communicating, so Neville made the connection necessary to understand that this was his husband trying to make suggestions for his upcoming birthday, and wrote down some of the information on his wrist for later, when he could mail order it and hide it in his room at Hogwarts instead of trying to keep it hidden in their shared house.
They met up outside of Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes and, this time, they did get Argus inside, under the guise of him needing to know what he was up against this year.
The twins had a blast. Luna learned more swear words. Hedwig cried a lot.
xXx
"So how did you realise you liked staircases, Harry?" Neville asked on their next date, when they had gathered to go back to Hogwarts. Harry had tagged along to hang out with Hedwig, and still tried to pet her occasionally. It would have been weird, but Luna did the same thing anyways.
Platform Nine and Three Quarters was basically empty still, as a group of adults were ready much quicker in the morning than children and parents who were still busy with last minute packing. They had grabbed some drinks: Harry and Hedwig coffee, Luna hot chocolate, and he and Argus some chamomile tea. Now they stood clustered around near the barrier, waiting for students to start arriving through it. A few had flooded in with parents already, but there was nothing quite like the look on a first years' face the first time they ran through the wall that disguised the barrier to the platform.
"It just seemed like it would work out better. Besides, we spend so much time together. I always got lost on those stairs. Figured we might as well bond, and, well, here we are." Harry said, and took a sip of coffee before he started speaking again. Luna had started putting strings of paper beads into his hair. "Plus, in third year I heard someone's boa constrictor confess their love to Ron's rat, and after that, I figured anything was possible with love."
"Wasn't that how Pettigrew died?" Neville asked, with the vague memory of something in third year happening that included the presumed long dead man to be found in a classroom with the Dark Mark on his arm, constricted to death.
"Yep! Christina killed him! Cool, right? Want to meet her? I carry her around all the time," Harry said, and began pulling a large boa constrictor out of his coat. Neville was thankful yet again that snakes were much nicer now, with Voldemort dead.
"Christina is a good name for such a tragic murderer," Luna said, looping the last of her beads onto Harry's head and then adding some to the snake's. "I'm glad that snake Juliet didn't end herself the same way the other did."
"Christina? No, if anything she was pretty pissed off that he'd been a human catfishing her the whole time! Not that there's, uh, anything wrong with that," Harry finished hastily, shooting Hedwig an embarrassed look.
Hedwig didn't seem to mind much, as she was currently in her animagus form and distracted by swallowing a mouse to help wash down her coffee.
Finally, an eleven year old ran screaming onto the platform, followed by muttering parents and blushing siblings.
Neville was pretty sure he heard Sybil muttering something about doom falling on whatever house their youngest went into to Firenze as they passed, the latter herding their children a little like one might herd sheep, but he decided to ignore that for now. None of the centaur halflings had gone into Gryffindor yet; rather strangely, they tended towards Slytherin. And he didn't care that much about Slytherin.
"I like the sound of screaming children in the mornings," Argus said in a rather uncharacteristically optimistic tone. Neville thought it was rather cute, but apparently none of the others shared his sentiment, as everyone else shuddered.
Oh well. Not everyone had to understand how sexy his husband was. It would be impossible to keep a hold on him if they did.
"Well, if we wait here, I bet we'll get to hear plenty more, darling!" he said, a cheerful tone matching his husband's.
After a bit, everyone seemed a bit creeped out by how much Argus was smiling, and the rest of them migrated towards another wall of the station, leaving him to enjoy himself.
They chatted about how much Luna was looking forward to her first year as Divination teacher and how Hedwig was looking forward to hanging out with her owl buddies again, and how Hermione's new novel would be out soon, how much they were looking forward to Ron and Victor's wedding now that summer had ended, and how much they had missed Hogwarts.
"I always have felt the most at home in the castle," Harry said, and they all agreed. There was just something special about the old castle and how warmly she welcomed everyone and everything, accepting and loving towards all.
When eventually it was time to leave, Neville went and dragged Argus from the portal, and together, they all boarded the train.
Luna did indeed put the trolley witch to shame.
xXx
Apparently while they were gone, Dobby's ghost had fallen in love with Dumbledore's portrait. Having bet on that before break, Neville collected twenty pickles from Harry, who had been convinced that Dobby would go for the ultimate spirit power couple, Peeves and Myrtle, not a portrait.