Chapter 2 of 2 for today

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Collins

Punctually at four o'clock Mr Collins arrived at Longbourn. He was not what the family expected.

He was tall and well built, as well as quite handsome, with dark, slightly curling hair and piercing blue eyes. His clothing, while it had seen better days, was clean underneath the dust accumulated during his journey, and must have been immaculate when he had donned it that morning.

He smiled shyly at the assembled family. 'Good afternoon, I am William Collins,' he introduced himself.

Mr Bennet, who had planned to make sport of his cousin, could not help but respond to the smile. He very civilly introduced himself and his family.

'It is an honour to meet you at last,' replied Collins and bowed to the ladies. 'I have had reports about the beauty of my cousins, but I must admit that those reports did not do you justice.'

'I suppose that good looks run in the family,' said Mrs Bennet appreciatively as she eyed the future master of Longbourn. While the reports about his father had made her fearful of being thrown into the hedgerows at her husband's death, she could not credit it that this pleasant young man would do such a thing.

Especially if he could be induced to marry one of her daughters. It was a pity that Jane was being courted by Mr Bingley since they would make an exceedingly handsome couple. But it would not do to try and chase two hares at once. You were likely to lose both. Perhaps Lizzy would do.

Mrs Bennet was all smiles when she invited Mr Collins into the house and suggested that he might like to refresh himself before joining the family for tea.

~~RF~~

Half an hour later, Mr Collins joined the family in the parlour. Not only had he refreshed himself, but he had also taken the trouble to have a quick wash and he had given his suit a thorough brushing.

'Mrs Bennet,' he addressed his hostess, 'I have to compliment you on having a most comfortable home. The decoration is utterly charming and shows excellent taste.'

'Thank you, Mr Collins. You are most gracious to say so. While Longbourn may not be the most elegant estate, I believe it rivals any house for comfort.'

'I quite agree with you. Sir Lewis' estate of Rosings Park is most elegantly and expensively appointed, but it is a house, not a home.'

Mrs Bennet was most gratified to have Longbourn favourably compared to a grand estate like Rosings and was curious to hear more about the appointments of the manor. Collins was pleased to satisfy her thirst for information.

They continued their discussion over dinner, with Mr Bennet remaining mostly quiet, although he could not resist asking, 'Is it not unusual for a man as young as yourself to be granted a living, especially since you are unrelated to Sir Lewis?'

'It is indeed. Although I do not understand the reason, I am very grateful that Sir Lewis de Bourgh seemed to take an instant liking to me and within a few minutes of conversation, offered me the living of Hunsford,' Collins replied modestly.

'Do you preach the standard sermons from the book of sermons, or do you write your own?'

'While I often take inspiration from the standard texts, I usually write my own. I find it difficult to be passionate about those dry texts.'

'And unless you are passionate about a subject, it will invariably put your audience to sleep,' suggested Mr Bennet with a grin, which elicited an answering grin from Collins.

'Perhaps the authors of the texts understand that many of the parishioners are poor working people who never get enough rest…' suggested Collins slyly in return. 'If that is the case, I might be doing them a disservice.'

Mary looked offended at the suggestion, while Elizabeth tried to keep a straight face. Lydia laughed outright and declared, 'I prefer a sermon which keeps me awake, but I have yet to hear one which interests me.'

Mrs Bennet was not interested in discussions about sermons, instead she questioned Collins about his own home in Hunsford.

'The parsonage is a well-built house in excellent repair but lacks a woman's touch.' Collins looked at Mrs Bennet with a bland smile.

'It is a truth universally known that a man in possession of a good living must be in want of a wife.'

'Indeed.'

Before his wife could get carried away on the subject, Mr Bennet invited Collins into his library for a glass of port.

~~RF~~

They were sitting comfortably in front of the fire in the library with a glass of port, when Mr Bennet asked, 'in your letter you mentioned an olive branch. Might I enquire what you have in mind?'

'Well sir, if you are agreeable, I thought that one of your daughters might be inclined to marry me. This way the estate would remain in your family.'

'I presume that you have your eye on Jane, after all everyone lauds her as my most beautiful daughter.'

'Cousin Jane is undoubtedly lovely, but I was hoping to find one of your daughters to be compatible. While I have nothing against physical beauty, I am more interested in mental compatibility.'

'You are not interested in Jane?' Mr Bennet was all astonishment.

'I do not know her or her sisters. I was hoping to get to know them before making any decision.' He smiled politely but when Mr Bennet suggested, 'so you are just going to pick the one you like…' he interrupted. 'I was hoping to court the lady of my choice and if she reciprocates my interest then I would like to marry her.'

Mr Bennet leaned back in his chair feeling mollified. 'So, you are not just going to demand that one of my daughters marries you.'

'Certainly not. I am hoping for a marriage of mutual respect and, hopefully, affection. I have seen too many couples who can barely tolerate each other.'

Collins gave Bennet a pointed look which set Mr Bennet to chuckling. 'I wish I had that much sense when I was your age,' he admitted. 'Very well. Get to know my girls and if one of them takes a fancy to you, I will consider accepting your olive branch. I should warn you though, Mrs Bennet will be relentless at pushing all the middle girls at you.'

'Why not Cousin Jane or Cousin Lydia?'

'Jane seems to be interested in Mr Bingley, who is currently leasing Netherfield Park, the estate next to Longbourn, and the feeling appears to be mutual. Lydia is only interested in redcoats and since Mrs Bennet indulges Lydia's slightest whims, she would never think you suitable for her favourite.'

'Cousin Lydia is in no danger from me. I have no interest in children,' Collins said repressively.

'You think Lydia is too young to be out?' At Collins' nod, Mr Bennet sighed. 'So do I, but Mrs Bennet has been in a dither to get all the girls married before you throw them into the hedgerows at my death.'

'I would never throw my cousins into the hedgerows, as you call it,' Collins huffed. 'It would be a most unchristian thing to do.'

'Perhaps you should tell my wife that. Even better, you could make it conditional on Lydia's behaviour.'

'What is wrong with Cousin Lydia's behaviour and why have you not corrected it?'

'Lydia is a shameless flirt, just like her mother used to be. And yes, before you say it, I was a young fool who was thinking with the wrong head.' Bennet's blunt speech made the young parson blush.

'Unfortunately, they have another thing in common… exceedingly shrill voices which they employ without mercy when anyone gainsays them. I value my peace.'

Collins gave Bennet a disgusted look. 'You want me to fix your problem.'

'You are in a much better position than I am. If you can convince my wife to pull Lydia in line, it will reduce the noise level by fifty percent. I am prepared to live with that.'

Collins considered his cousin and his words. While he thought that Bennet should have asserted his authority, he could feel a certain amount of sympathy.

He also wondered if part of his cousin's reluctance to pull his wife into line, was because he did not wish to deny her since, despite his words, he still had tender feelings towards the lady.

~~RF~~

Once they finished their port, the gentlemen joined the ladies in the parlour where Collins offered to read for them.

Mary immediately offered him her copy of Fordyce's Sermons for Young Ladies.

Collins took one look at the well-read tome and told her, 'Cousin Mary, I do not wish to offend you, but I find these sermons to be nonsensical.'

When Mary gasped in horror, he explained, 'Mr Fordyce had a very limited view of the world. You have obviously read his advice most assiduously.' At Mary's nod, he continued, 'have you also analysed his words? Did you not find that he often contradicts himself?'

'I thought that was my limited understanding. After all, he does say that ladies do not have the ability to understand the intricacies of philosophy.'

Collins noticed Elizabeth sniggering. 'Cousin Elizabeth, do I take it that you do not agree with Mr Fordyce?'

'I certainly do not agree with him. I think the man was… an imbecile. I prefer to believe Miss Wollstonecraft that women are just as capable of learning as men. We are simply not given the opportunity. And since we are not educated, men claim it is because we are incapable of being educated, rather than because they deny us the education. It is a circular and very specious argument.'

Collins laughed at the outburst just as Mrs Bennet started to scold her daughter, 'Lizzy, I have told you time and again not to spout your nonsense, especially in company. Gentlemen do not want to hear a woman arguing with them.'

'Mrs Bennet, I quite enjoy it when someone argues with me, as long as the argument is well-reasoned, which Cousin Elizabeth's claim was.'

Mrs Bennet shut her mouth with a snap. While she wanted to continue to berate her daughter for being unladylike, if Mr Collins enjoyed arguing with her, perhaps she would be able to foist her most difficult daughter off on him.

Collins turned back to Mary. 'Personally, I think there is nothing wrong with your understanding, simply with your starting premise… which led you to an incorrect conclusion. You assumed that Mr Fordyce knows of what he speaks. Since his words did not make sense to you, you assumed that your understanding is unequal to the task.'

Mary nodded cautiously.

'If you assume, like your sister Elizabeth, that Mr Fordyce is a blithering idiot, then his discourse will lead you to the correct conclusion, because as you have discovered that he does not make sense.'

'You are saying that the correct conclusion is that my understanding is superior to Mr Fordyce?'

Collins grinned at Mary. 'Precisely.'

~~RF~~

After he retired for the evening, Mr Collins considered the five sisters.

Jane, as beautiful as she was, did not appeal to him. Even if her heart were not already engaged by Mr Bingley. She was lovely and serene, and even though she might have a hidden core of steel, she did not have the spark to spur his interest.

As he had told Mr Bennet, Lydia was obviously still a child, and of no interest to him.

The next oldest, Kitty, was also still full young and followed her sister Lydia. Both reasons excluded her from contention. He wanted a wife with whom he could converse, with opinions of her own.

On the surface, Mary with her interest in scripture seemed the ideal wife for a parson, but he did not think that she actually understood what she was parroting from the texts. Although he had been pleased to see that his comments about Fordyce had started her to question what she read.

That left Elizabeth.

He smiled to himself. He remembered her flashing eyes when she declared Fordyce to be an imbecile. He had also noticed the pause and wondered what she had meant to say. Probably something stronger than imbecile.

Further conversation that evening had proved that she was educated and had a mind of her own. She was certainly a woman with whom he would be pleased to become better acquainted.

He wondered if she might feel the same way.

~~RF~~

A/N: How do you like Collins?

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Reversed Fortune by Sydney Salier, Copyright © 2021