Clarke was bored. It had been two days since Abby interrupted their conversation, and they had yet to return to it. Instead, they had focused on making war plans. Now that Nyko had removed their stitches and allowed them to go back to their duties, Lexa and Rook seemed to have abandoned her. She knew that it wasn't the case. Lexa needed to return to her duties, and Rook, as Lexa's guard, was required to go with her. But Clarke couldn't help the way she felt. Being around them had given Clarke a sense of calm and purpose. Without them, she felt listless, empty, and so fucking bored.

Clarke attempted to alleviate them by asking Nyko to teach her about the medicinal plants. Nyko had amicably taught her, even showing her how to prepare some of the medicines he used. It had been enjoyable, and Clarke had been glad to focus on something other than the war or her people. She blatantly ignored the fact that she was also avoiding dealing with Abby. She wasn't ready to deal with her mother. But that had only lasted until just after midday. Nyko had received a request to help out in another village, and as the only trained healer for miles, he needed to go. And now, Clarke didn't know what to do with herself.

Clarke knew she couldn't search for Lexa. They may have this weird bond, connection, and yes, Clarke was attracted to the green-eyed young woman, but it didn't give her leave to seek her out. There needed to be a sense of professionalism between them, a sense of propriety. They had spent an inordinately significant amount of time together since they'd met. Maybe more so than what could be construed as professional courtesy as leaders. And the last thing they needed was for people to start talking about them as something else. Which meant Clarke couldn't continue to spend every waking or sleeping moment with Lexa. The distance also gave Clarke time to figure out what she was feeling towards the green-eyed Commander. If it was the mating bond between the dire wolves or if it was based on her own feelings. But she was hesitant to even think about it, especially so soon as saying goodbye to Finn.

Thinking of Finn made Clarke realize that there was someone she needed to talk with, Rook. Outside of some minor confessions, they hadn't spoken since reconnecting after months apart.

Not that they had spoken regularly before Rook's disappearance, Clarke thought disparagingly to herself. She had really screwed the pooch when it came to Rook. Even before coming down. They had been in the same classes growing up and saw each other on the rare occasions her father, Jake, had brought Rook over. But they'd never really spoken outside of classwork or small talk. And as Clarke looked back on those few times, she didn't understand how she could have missed the air of sadness and loneliness surrounding Rook.

Then, of course, when they came down, Clarke hadn't missed the looks Rook gave her. The sadness and loneliness were still present, but Rook had seemed more despondent. As if she had kinda given up on life even while still searching for a connection with someone. And given the looks Rook had turned her way, she had wanted it with Clarke. She had taken advantage of Rook's feelings, using her to get what she wanted. And Rook, being who she was, let her. Rook was correct; what they did, what she did, hadn't been healthy.

Clarke had thought she'd never get the chance to rectify her mistakes with Rook. Just as she couldn't with Wells, or Charlotte, even Finn. But she could, she reminded herself. Rook was alive. Rook was alive and somewhere in the village. And with another war on the horizon, now was the perfect time to start mending what she had fucked up. Clarke's bond with Rook none withstanding.

So, with a determined set of her shoulders, Clarke headed out into the village. She wandered a bit, getting unpleasant yet curious stares from those in the Tondc, trying to figure out where Rook could be. With her thoughts focused on Rook, her wandering feet ended up taking her just outside the village. Clarke didn't realize that it was her bond with Rook guiding her to the gray-eyed brunette.

She found Rook at the top of a small hill that overlooked the village, sitting on a boulder and seemingly lost in thought. But the moment Clarke crested the hill; Rook was down with a look of admiration on her face.

"Wow," Rook spoke, her voice soft but tinged with appreciation. "I always thought you were beautiful before, Clarke…but seeing you dressed in Trikru clothes, you are breathtaking."

Clarke stuttered in her step, stopping to look at herself. She was wearing soft black leather pants that hugged her legs like a second skin, a scooped neck and form-fitting blue shirt showing her cleavage, and a new leather jacket with studs trimmed in blue accents.

Clarke blushed, then tilted her head at Rook, a small smile forming, "I don't remember you being so bold in your opinions, Rook."

Rook crossed the few feet between them and smiled down at the blonde, her hand reaching up to play with a strand of Clarke's hair, "Maybe so, but you have emboldened me, Klark. What did you want to talk to me about?"

Clarke slightly frowned in confusion, "What makes you think that?"

Rook reverses her hand and gently runs the back down the side of Clarke's cheek. Her smile widened as she leaned into the touch, "Our bond, Prisa. I felt when you started concentrating on me."

"Oh," Clarke blinked, having momentarily forgotten. "Right. That."

Lightly chuckling, Rook dropped her hand and gestured to the boulder in question. Clarke nodded, and they sat side by side.

Clarke took a minute to appreciate the view, then glanced at Rook, "It's a nice view."

Nodding, Rook said, "It is. Ava took me here shortly after we got together. She took me to a lot of little places around the village, but this is my favorite."

Clarke flushed guiltily and looked down at her lap. Quietly, she said, "I'm sorry, Rook."

Rook looked at her in surprise, "What do you have to be sorry for, Clarke?"

"For taking away your chance to get justice for her," she quietly replied. Clarke quickly glanced at the brunette, then back to her lap, "I'm sorry for a lot of things when it comes to you. I ignored things and led you on. I tried to help Finn escape. I don't know how you don't hate me."

"I don't hate you, Clarke," Rook sighed, pulling a knee to her chest and wrapping her arms around it. Laying her chin on her knee, she said, "I've been angry with you, and rightfully so, even if I understood your reasons. And if we're being honest, the moment I realized what you did, I wanted to kill you. But even then, I didn't hate you."

Swallowing thickly, Clarke fearfully shuddered at the memory of that night, "That's what I gathered. Why didn't you?"

"Truth," Rook asked, glancing to see Clarke nod. "Lexa. She somehow managed to quiet the storm that was raging in me at that moment. Thinking back, I was so enraged because I felt as if I had failed again. That I had failed to get the justice I had promised. Anyway, then she told me to keep you safe. So, I did."

"You didn't just keep me safe; you comforted me," Clarke looked at Rook. "Why?"

Rook sighed and stretched herself out, leaning back on her hands, "Because I understood. The grief, the guilt, the suffering. I've been dealing with those since I lost Ava. And because I see you, Clarke. You didn't mercy kill Finn for your sake or even to save Finn. You did it for Raven. Everything you do, you do for those you care about."

"Have me all figured out, huh," Clarke humorlessly chuckled.

"Not even close, Prisa," the brunette ruefully shook her head, then sighed. "You, me, Lexa. We put our people first. Be they friends, family, or simply by duty. And sometimes, it's to our own detriment, but we still do it. That's what connects us. The physical attraction is just a bonus."

Clarke scoffed and playfully shoved Rook's leg making her chuckle.

Rook straightened, sighing, "Clarke, what happened is in the past. Yes, I am still upset that you mercy killed Finn. I feel cheated of a duty that was mine by right. A duty to myself, Sursha, and Artigas' father, Vasio, to see Justice properly meted out. But, but it doesn't change my feelings for you. I still care about you."

"And everything else," Clarke meekly asked, looking at her.

Shrugging, Rook replied, "It's water under the bridge, Clarke. What matters is where we go from here."

"I feel responsible," Clarke quietly spoke up after they had sat in silence for a while. Then clarified, "For Finn."

"I know," Rook replied. "You shouldn't, though. What Finn did isn't on you. It is on him, and only him, Clarke. You didn't give him the gun. You're not the one who planned and set fire to our food stores. You're not the one who rounded up my people. And you're certainly not the one who pulled the trigger. That was all Finn, Prisa. He made every choice, not you. Finn may have done it because he was looking for you, but that doesn't make you responsible. You. Weren't. There."

"But—" Clarke weakly began

"No," Rook harshly interrupted, slid to the ground, and faced the blonde. She moved into Clarke's personal space and sternly gazed at her, Rook's voice iron, "I want you to listen to me, Clarke, and listen well. The only person you can control is yourself. Your actions, your thoughts, and so on. That's it. As a leader, you do have a responsibility for your people. To keep them safe and see them thrive. To guide them. What they do with that is on them. And ONLY them. Not you. Finn is NOT your fault. Ava's death is NOT your fault. Not Artigas' or the others. They died because of him and only him. Nami?"

Clarke struggled with herself as she stared into Rook's unflinching gaze. Logically, she knew the brunette was right. But she just couldn't shake that feeling that she was responsible. Like a dog with a bone, something in her just wouldn't let that feeling go. The what-ifs and voices blaming her persisted in her head until she dropped her head in shame. She couldn't let it go.

Rook sighed, and Clarke flinched at the sound. The blonde imagined it was from disappointment even though it was because Rook felt helpless to help her. Then something niggled in Rook's mind, and she decided to try something.

"Clarke," Rook softly spoke, reaching up and gently turning the blonde's head to look at her. "Prisa, do you trust me?"

With absolute certainty, Clarke replied, "Yes."

A small smile graced Rook's lips, "Os. Good. I want you to close your eyes and focus on just you and me. Think you can do that?"

"I…just me and you," Clarke hesitated.

"Just us. Here on top of this hill. With the autumn sun shining down, warming us, and a slight breeze that has just a hint of a chill. Just focus on us at this moment. No thoughts. No emotions. Just this right here, right now," Rook said, keeping her voice soft and soothing.

Taking a slow breath, Clarke nodded, "I can try."

"Okay," Rook replied and watched as Clarke took another slow breath, exhaled, and closed her eyes.

Rook stood still as she watched Clarke slowly relax and felt when her mind had calmed. Taking a few slow breaths of her own, she leaned closer until their heads were touching. Closing her eyes, she opened herself to her memories and feelings, thinking back to the day Ava had died and everything that had happened since.

As Clarke focused on the image of the two of them on the hill, she felt warmth spread through her as Rook laid their heads together. She thought she heard a soft whimper before she suddenly found herself somewhere else. Clarke didn't know what was happening as a scene unfolded before her. She was walking somewhere in the forest, dragging something behind her, worried while also thinking of jewelry made from antlers. Suddenly, Clarke heard the all too familiar sound of gunfire. She felt her heart leap into her throat as overwhelming fear gripped her. Then just as quickly, Clarke was running towards the sounds of screams and gunfire. She crested a hill and slid to a stop, shocked and horrified at what lay below her.

Below her sat people huddled together on their knees in a pen, screaming in terror. Another shot rang out and a young boy, barely a teenager, fell to the ground. Clarke looked and saw Finn aiming and shooting wildly as Murphy tried to stop him. Then a young woman collapsed, and a scream ripped from her throat as despair, rage, and guilt filled her.

That's when Clarke knew. She was reliving Rook's memory and feelings of that horrible day. And her heart broke as the memory continued. The rage, the sorrow, but it was the guilt Clarke felt that was overwhelming. She was only a passenger as a new memory showed itself. Where Rook had woken up in pain, and the pain only intensified as she realized the woman she loved was gone. Then more memories as Rook became consumed by rage, grief, and guilt. How she tried to assuage those emotions by going after Finn, only to be thwarted each time until the villagers placed Rook in a cell and left her.

That's when for just a moment, the scenery changed and Clarke found herself back on the Ark and in a cell. It was Rook's immediate incarceration after she nearly beat the man to death. Where she was left alone, and no one came for her. Clarke even saw that Rook still had the blood of the man on her clothes and body. She felt how Rook broke down, feeling abandoned and lonely, plagued by voices telling her how she deserved it. Clarke learned that those voices belonged to the brunette's parents and the man she nearly killed. Clarke wondered how people, parents, could be so cruel to a child.

Then Clarke found herself back in Tondc. Feeling Rook shut down as the rage left, leaving only grief and guilt behind. And there were the voices again, telling Rook that she deserved it. That love and happiness weren't meant for Rook because she was worthless, stupid, gay, and a complete failure. It broke Clarke's heart all over again, hearing those words because she knew Rook was none of those things, except being a lesbian. Because love was love no matter who it was.

Time moved forward, and Clarke saw and felt when Rook felt guilty for the deaths. For failing to protect the people who had taken her in and given her a home. Who had given her purpose and shown her love. The nightmares that plagued the gray-eyed young woman. How Rook wondered how the villagers didn't turn their backs on her for that failure. That they didn't hate her because she was born Skaikru and therefore associated her with Finn. And how, each time that guilt became overwhelming, someone was always there to pull the brunette back from letting it consume her. The support, the empathy, she received. The love.

Then it was over, leaving the two with tears streaming down their faces from the weight of the emotions.

Rook found her voice first, needing to explain. Speaking softly but still emotional, she said, "I didn't show you that to make you feel even more guilty, Clarke. I wanted to show you that you aren't alone. The guilt you feel. The what if's. The shoulda, coulda, woulda's. The nightmares. I have them too. What happened was horrific and preventable, but we can't be everywhere at once. There was no way either of us could have arrived any faster to stop it. Everyone's choice led to that moment. You and I both need to learn to accept that."

Clarke immediately wanted to apologize, to argue, but she stopped herself. One, because it wasn't what Rook wanted or needed to hear. And two, Rook was right. There were choices outside her own that led to the massacre. And she had made the only choice she could have. She had snuck out of Camp Jaha, and they had traveled as quickly as they could. They had gotten there and prevented more deaths. That had been the best that they, she, could have done. Clarke needed to learn to accept that.

Instead, Clarke sighed and quietly said, "Thank you for showing me, Rook."

Rook sniffed, opened her eyes, and found her hands cupping Clarke's face even as their heads still touched. She gently started to stroke the blonde's cheeks with her thumbs as she replied, "We all have our demons, Clarke. It's important to remember that, especially now, we don't need to face them alone. The three of us have one another to turn to when they get overwhelming."

Clarke sighed, then sniffled and opened her eyes to find two deep gray eyes looking back. Her breath hitched at the love and understanding she saw in them. A look she hadn't seen since reconnecting with Wells, yet it was also different. Something Clarke couldn't quite place, but whatever it was filled her with warmth and left her a little breathless.

"You are something else, Rook," Clarke softly said, just now noticing how close they were and that their breaths mingled between them. "I'm still sorry, though."

Rook stepped back, letting Clarke go, and threw her head back, whining, "Clarke!"

Clarke slipped off the boulder, chuckling, and went after Rook, "Not about that. I mean, I'll probably always feel bad about it. I don't think it's in me not to be, you know. But, no, that's not why I'm sorry."

"Then what," Rook said, spinning around to find herself flush with Clarke, her hands automatically going to the blonde's waist to steady them.

Their even closer proximity caused Clarke to lose her thoughts, her hands seeking purchase on the brunette's shoulders and looking up into gray eyes.

What is it about me and eyes, Clarke thought to herself, then heard Rook chuckling. Groaning, she laid her head against Rook's chest, "You heard that?"

"Unintentionally," Rook chuckled. "Though, I can't disagree. I never told anyone this, but I got distracted by her eyes when I was fighting the Bounstoka. They reminded me so much of yours that I nearly missed her attacking. I was lucky no one was around to see that. It would have been embarrassing to explain."

Clarke giggled, "Yeah, Raven would've never let it go if she knew."

Rook groaned, "Please, I am begging you never to tell her that. It's bad enough she compared my title to a damn spice. Now, that's all I hear any time someone calls me Pakripa. Paprika, Pakripa. I get it! No need to keep reminding me."

Clarke threw her head back, outright laughing, "Oh my god! That's hilarious!"

Mock growling, the brunette gripped Clarke's hips harder, "It's not that funny, Clarke."

"Yes, it is," Clarke snorted, reining in her laughter, sliding her arms around Rook's neck and pulling her head down. "It's cute. But don't worry. I won't ever call you the spice."

"Better not," she growled, bringing her head to rest against Clarke's. "I might have to find something to mock you with."

"You wouldn't dare," the blonde gasped.

The brunette smirked, "Try me. Or do I need to remind you about my rock-hard abs?"

"You are impossible, woman," Clarke smirked, chuckling. "And I will repeat this. They were impossible to miss when I was checking on your sword wound. They were right there."

Rook chuckled along with her, reaching up to tuck a strand of blonde hair behind an ear, "I'm glad to know the months of getting my ass handed to me have paid off."

Their levity settled as an air of calm settled over them. Silent and content to simply be close to each other. Rook, having successfully derailed Clarke's attempt to apologize for something she'd already forgiven. They stood, breaths mingling, soft purrs rumbling from their chests, and for once, Clarke didn't question it. Instead, she embraced it, and her mind settled even more. The warmth and their bond growing as the autumn sun slowly traveled westerly in its path.

A sound, a distinct whistle from the trees, drew Rook out of their bubble. "We need to head back, Prisa," Rook reluctantly spoke, her voice quiet.

Clarke let out a pitiful whine, making Rook smile and move to leave a lingering kiss on the blonde's forehead. Clarke closed her eyes in pleasure, feeling the pressure of her lips.

"Do we have to," Clarke quietly whined.

"Sha, it's getting late. Dinner will be ready soon," Rook replied, stepping back and breaking contact first.

At the mention of food, Clarke instantly perked up, a grin forming, "God, I love the food here."

Rook laughed, and the light sound made Clarke feel giddy as she watched the taller brunette walk back to the boulder. She scrunched her brow in confusion when she saw Rook pull a bag from its shadow, "Was that bag always there?"

Rook laughed again as she threw it over her shoulder and looked back at the blonde, "Yes, Clarke. Sorry, not sorry if my mere presence was too distracting for you to notice."

Clarke narrowed her eyes as the brunette returned to her, then wrinkled her nose as a smell wafted from the bag. She looked and saw several animals hanging from it, "Did you hunt?"

Rook looked down at her side and nodded, "I did. Thought I'd try my hand using a sling." She lifted the remains of what Clarke thought was the head of a giant rabbit. "I apparently forgot my own strength, and it took me a few tries to get it right."

"Apparently," Clarke muttered as each head showed less damage. "Is that a rock in its eye?!"

Rook chuckled, her hand lightly tugging on Clarke's arm to get her moving, "I did say it took me a bit."

"Yeah, you did," Clarke grimaced as they walked down the hill. "But it's still gross."

"Hazards of hunting, Prisa," the brunette said, clearly amused. "Blood is a natural byproduct. Though, I'm surprised you didn't smell it sooner."

"I am too," Clarke replied, the coppery scent still present as she breathed.

"Mochof, Axel," Rook said as they entered the trees.

Clarke looked at her in confusion, but her eyes grew wider as a large man emerged from the shadows. She looked between Rook and the warrior a few times, "Was he always there?"

Rook laughed as she nodded, "Axel is your guard, Prisa. He came with you. Didn't you notice?"

Clarke flushed, heat rising to the tips of her ears. "I was a little distracted looking for you," she flusteredly replied.

Rook's teasing turned serious, "Clarke, you need to pay attention to your surroundings more. Especially, now and not just because of the war and being among the clans."

Clarke nodded, accepting the chastisement, "You're right. I'll work on it, okay?"

"I'm serious, Clarke," Rook sternly replied.

"So am I, Rook," Clarke said with an edge to her voice. "I've lost too many people because we didn't pay enough attention. I'm not going to make the same mistakes again."

Rook sighed, "I'm sorry. I'm the last one to talk about being distracted. It's what got me in trouble in the first place. Your safety is important to me."

I don't want to lose you, Rook confessed through their bond, not wanting Axel to overhear.

Clarke nodded to both statements and quietly said, "I know."

I don't want to lose you either, Clarke thought back. Now that I've found you again.

They lapsed into silence and continued back to Tondc. Rook and Axel both watching out for danger. Clarke worked on her promise, and though her eyes remained forward, she listened to the forest around them. The only sounds reaching her were of nature, her own footsteps, and the sound of the village. You'd never know that a war was on the horizon.

"I've found Mitchell, Sir," a horrified voice spoke up not even a quarter-mile from the very hill Clarke had found Rook perched.