Hi. Please see the author's note at the end.
Chapter Fifty-Two
Reid was browsing the library when Iris found him.
"Hey they're hosting a valentine's dance this year," she said. "Would you care to be my date?"
"Aren't I a little old for you?"
"You're at the D level, you can socialize. When's the last time you were at a dance?"
"I went to one dance for kids my age in grade school, and ended up with a drink thrown at my crotch."
"Is there any part of your life that isn't traumatic?"
"I had a good time earning my first Ph.D."
Reid saw Cat standing behind, Iris.
"I'm sorry," he said. "I'm still too damaged."
"I thought we banned the s-word. You have the right to your feelings. I accept and understand."
"You're a good friend Iris."
"So are you," she said and looked around. "I thought you read everything in here."
"I'm looking for Ready Player One," he said. "Bruce and I are reading science fiction together."
"Nice to see you found another friend here. Just promise I'll always be number one."
Reid smiled. "Who else could be?"
…
They were waiting in a vacant visitor's room. Reid was dressed in his usual purple collared shirt and dress pants for the first time since he was re-admitted.
"I'm scared," he said.
"No one is angry Dr. Reid," Selzer said. "Resist the urge to apologize."
J.J. walked. He had never seen her hair cut above her shoulders. There were tears in her eyes.
"I want to hug you," Reid said.
"I'd love that," J.J. said.
They embraced. The hug was long.
Reid saw Cat sneering at them.
"This shit grosses me out," Cat said.
"You see something, don't you?" J.J. said as they let go.
"Cat has been menacing me since I got readmitted," he said. "Any time I'm around women."
"Are medications helping?"
"Not enough."
They sat down.
"I got the letters from the boys," he said. "I've been trying to write them every day."
"They enjoy it. They call it Spencer-mail."
Reid couldn't take it. He broke down crying.
"I didn't mean to hurt you all so badly," he sobbed.
"May I hug you?" J.J. asked.
He nodded.
"Hotch was wrong to tell you, what we were going through. Everyone is doing better. I got help drying out. Alvez is back on the team. We're all doing better."
"But if I had handled it better…"
"Spence, I was having nightmares about a case for some time and already mixing sleep aids with alcohol to help me sleep. It didn't take much to push me over. I was able to get the help I needed because your counseling team reached out to me. I'm getting my first chip in April."
"I love you J.J! I love all of you! I wish none of you had suffered."
"Suffering is part of life. We learn to live with it. You were not as big a component as you think. There were already cracks. But everyone is healing now. Including you."
"I won't ever shut you out again. I promise."
"I'll always be there for you Spence. I love you too."
They held on for a long time. Reid closed his eyes so he couldn't see Cat.
…
Iris had ordered a series of shirts with science jokes on them, Reid liked to wear with his scrubs. This one featured a joke about Schrödinger's cat. He never wore casual clothes, so this was new to him. He was starting to like it.
There was a knock on his door. Bruce popped his head in.
"I have a visitor I'd like you to meet. You game?"
Reid wasn't sure.
"I won't make you re-read Atlas Shrugged like I was considering, for our next book swap."
Not having much else to do, and knowing Bruce wouldn't let it drop, Reid got up.
"You're the man," Bruce said.
They took the stairs down to the visitation area. Bruce was still having trouble with enclosed spaces, and Reid respected that.
For a large room there only four other tables occupied. At the table farthest from the entrance was a woman with very light blond hair in a braid, almost the color of straw. Her pale blue blazer looked like it had seen better days, and her white blouse underneath wasn't particularly bright. The hem on her skirt was uneven. What struck him was the look of weary fear on her face. This was a woman who had been through hard times, despite being around his age.
"Spencer, I'd like you to meet my lawyer, Nadia Dells."
"I know, I don't look the part," she said with a weak smile as she refused to look him in the eye. "I have often wondered how those lawyers on Law & Order can afford those suits."
"This woman lost almost everything to help me," Bruce said. "She was on the verge of losing custody of her kid when everything came together. I owe this woman my life."
"Everyone is worth it. No one should live in a cage, especially when they don't deserve it."
"Ms. Dells," Reid said.
"Call me Nadia."
"Nadia, can I hug you?"
This took her by surprise. She nodded.
Reid felt Cat watching but reached for Nadia anyway. He felt her slouch into him. It had been a while since someone had hugged her for this long it seemed.
Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Bruce smiling approvingly.
Author's Note:
I'm doing something different with this one. We often look OCs from the point where they come into the lives of the main characters. What about who they were before they met Reid? Check out The Road to Reid for more of Nadia's story.