Notes: This is a fic for the ven of Ladynoir july on tumblr! I'll try to post a chapter per day for the whole month, hope you enjoy it and every feedback is welcome! Today's prompt is "Day 1: Older".

"Hey, Chaton, what do you want to be when you're older?"

Ladybug could see that her question startled her partner as his cat eyes widened as he turned to her. They were sitting on the edge of a rooftop together after a successful patrol together, the first since she became the guardian of the miraculous. The sun was starting to set and she still had tons of things to do, from homework to kwami-proofing her room to Kitty Section concert outfits. But everything felt faraway as she watched Chat Noir be illuminated by the sunset.

"Why, my lady?" He purred, after she recovered from the shock. "Weren't you the one that said 'Chat Noir, if you say anything that might compromise your identity again, I swear I'll…'?"

Maybe months ago she would have thought it sounded bitter or resentful, after all, she was the one that insisted on secret identities. But Chat Noir's smirk was teasing and his posture was relaxed, so her catastrophizing was kept at bay.

"I don't think knowing you'll be, I don't know, a doctor will let me find out who you are." Ladybug said, trying to keep her tone light. From her partner's frown, it didn't work.

"Hey, bugaboo, is everything okay?" He asked gently.

She had heard girls at her school squeal about how attractive Chat Noir's smoothness was, how they would swoon if a single flirt was thrown at them. Ladybug thought his devil may care attitude was more funny than attractive. What she could barely admit to herself, on quiet lonely nights when her crush on Adrien seemed hopeless, was that the softness he showed her in private made her heart beat faster than any pun he could send her way.

"I think you already know the answer." She said, bringing her knees close to her chest.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Yes, maybe… I don't really know, chaton." Ladybug under his concerned eyes. It felt like they could see right through her, at times. "Being the guardian is… hard."

"My lady…"

"I feel like I'm doing everything wrong, like I'm never going to live up to Master Fu." She said, feeling a deep sense of loss. Chat Noir wouldn't understand because they had never been close, but Master Fu had been her mentor and not having him to rely on made dread pool into her stomach. "He had been doing it for years and got discovered by Shadow Moth just because of me. How can I even hope to protect the miraculous box?"

"Hey, Master Fu learned to be a guardian at a time when there wasn't a maniac trying to get the miraculous. And less than a year after working against someone, he had to give up guardianship!" He said, and she flinched back from how heated he was. "Look, bugaboo, I know how much you respect him, but I don't agree much. I trust you more as the guardian than I ever did him."

"Chat Noir…" She started, touched by his trust in her. It never seemed to falter, no matter how she screwed up. "Thanks."

"Can't let you think you're not good enough for anything, my lady, 'cuz it's simply not true." He winked and she rolled her eyes.

"It's just… I know what I want to do when I'm older." Ladybug said, resting her chin on her knees. "I have a dream that I work very hard on, but these days I don't have the time to eat or sleep well. I'm scared that this is it."

"What do you mean?"

"I'm scared that being the guardian is just gonna take all of me and swallow it whole. I'm scared I won't be able to do the things I want to do." She swallows back a sob. "I'm scared the only thing I'll be able to be when I'm older is the guardian."

"I know it's hard to believe, but I know how you feel." Chat Noir said, way more serious than she had ever seen him. "The idea that you'll never actually be what you want to be because you have too many responsibilities that you can't escape."

"You do?" Ladybug asked. It was hard to imagine her carefree Chaton weighted down by anything.

His face held a mockery of a smile, too bittersweet. "Yeah, I do. I know there's nothing I can say that'll make you feel better, you have responsibilities that I can't take from you. But what I can offer you is a helping paw: my lady, if you ever feel like this is too much, you can ask for help with anything."

Chat Noir took one of her hands that was holding her knees together into a clawed one.

"You can trust me." The real smile he gave her was brighter than the setting sun.

But would he still say that if he knew?

Because he had offered her a helping hand before, trying to distract her with a movie and then offering a conversation. And she, so sure that could do everything alone, had to do everything alone, pushed him and her friends away until she had to deal with a whole gang of akumatized girls. Until she completely broke down and told Alya her deepest secret.

I told someone who I am. She wanted to tell him, wanted to know if betrayal would fill his eyes or worse, resignation. Ladybug would rather have Chat Noir being angry at her than sad.

"My lady?" He said, after she was quiet a minute too long.

"Sorry, I spaced out." She answered with a feeble smile. Coward. "Thanks for this, Chaton. I know that I can always count on you, I'll try to never forget it."

"Make sure you do, bugaboo." He never let go of her hand.

I'll tell him next. She thought, squeezing his hand like he would disappear like words on the sand by the sea if she didn't. I just want things to stay like this a little longer.

"And to answer your question, there is one thing I want to be when I'm older."

"A house cat?"

"Haha, very funny." He rolled his eyes, before turning his gaze to her again. It was adoring. "The one thing I want to be, even years from now, is by your side, my lady."

Ladybug hoped he hadn't said anything after. She couldn't hear a sound over her pounding heart.