A/N: I'm not even going to try to explain this. Just know that i wasn't working alone when crafting this bit of nonsense! Farmgirl started it! XD
I can't believe I'm even posting this…
California Dreamin'
Merlin sat watching the knights train in the sand, swords flashing. He winced at the lack of armor. They were all stripped to the waist and only wearing swim trunks. A few bikini-clad beach bunnies stood nearby, admiring the rippling muscles. A familiar looking guy with awesome hair approached and addressed Arthur.
"Dude, name's Gwaine. You got some tubular skills. So, you wanna, like train?"
Arthur eyed him skeptically, "Yeah, man, but you gonna kill me? Steal my tricks?"
Gwaine, shook his head, "Nah… that's lame."
Arthur nodded. "K. Sounds good."
They traded a few glancing blows. Merlin winced at the combination of sharp swords, bare skin and lack of brains.
Leon approached and gripped Arthur's shoulder before he and Gwaine could resume training. "Dude, when's lunch? We are so done here."
Arthur shrugged. "Yeah, okay, brah, break. Whatever." He pulled the new guy along with him toward the spread where Merlin was emptying the coolers, bragging all the while about his match against Valiant, "The knight came at me and I was like, woah! And then I ducked and it was like woah, and then I won and was like woaaaah, dude."
Gwaine grinned. "Gnarly."
Arthur smirked proudly and looked under the massive umbrella to address Merlin. "Where's the food, man? The dogs?"
Merlin began deflecting the blame, "Can't cook 'em! There's nothing to burn out here! Beach got combed already!"
"Bogus." Arthur looked really deflated. Actually, they all did.
Suddenly Merlin's eyebrows lifted. "Oh, hang on."
All the knights stumbled back as he tipped his face skyward and roared. He hurriedly stuck the hotdogs on sticks, stuck his arm out from underneath the umbrella and held them up. A dragon flew over and snorted flame, roasting the hotdogs.
"Righteous," breathed Leon. The knights all grinned and leaped forward to grab food.
Gwaine watched the kid with the surprising skills who was wearing a baggy long-sleeved shirt, baggy trousers and a baggy neckerchief. "Yo, lil dude, you seem cool. Strip down and join the fun!"
Merlin shook his head. "Thanks, man, but I'm 'lergic to the sun."
Arthur gestured at the waves. "Well at least get in the water and lose your stank!" He murmured aside to Gwaine, "I swear, brah, the dude only ever wears that one shirt and never takes it off."
Merlin was indignant. "What! I wear my tunic front to back, then back to front, then inside out, then switch again. Only have to do laundry every three months that way."
Merlin awoke in a cold sweat, heaving frantic breaths, eyes wild. It was time to get the heck out of California. He grabbed the phone beside his bed and booked the next flight back to England. What had he been thinking, ending the 1980's in America?!