Thank you so much for the feedback and help after the last chapter. I *still* am not sure who Ava will end up with, but finabin an LuvReading, you guys convinced me of how Ava's labor should go and who should deliver her baby. And, as always, MusesOwnMyMind helped me work out details (upon details, upon details). I'm so open to any requests or suggestions who you'd like to see Ava with or what you'd like to happen. I went into this story with a much rougher idea than I usually do, so feel free to share anything you'd like to see. :)

Chapter 5

"Get away from me!" Ava ordered.

The man in black, Chris she reminded herself through the pain that was making her thoughts less clear, stepped back. But not far enough.

"I don't need an AUDIENCE!" The words built as the wave of pain came again. She needed to push. She needed to get this baby out.

She gripped the back of one of the pews, nearly doubling over with the pain that was coming with overwhelming pressure this time. She was aware of the gaggle of men standing helplessly in the church with her. And then the pain was too much. She didn't care.

Ava pushed her skirts aside, moving cloth out of the way, nearly sobbing from the pain and overwhelming fear.

"You don't have to do this alone."

The low rumble of Josiah's voice barely registered, but his steady presence broke through the haze around Ava. There was no part of her that believed his words. She had done everything on her own for as long as she could remember.

But she couldn't argue with him. All her breath was taken by the pain, by the need to deliver her baby.

"Get out now." Josiah's voice came from a distance, somewhere beyond the pain. Confused, Ava couldn't tell if he was ordering the baby out, or kicking her out of the church.

"Yell if you need us," she heard Chris say and then heavy boots heading toward the door, extra sunlight and then the door closing.

The thought that she was nowhere near ready for the baby—that motherhood was a terrible choice for her—kept circling through her disjointed thoughts.

But then there one a fiery all-consuming pain that felt like it was tearing her apart and a scream tore out of her.

"There we go," Josiah said, his voice sounding unperturbed by her yell. "There we go."

And then the pain and pressure was gone and Josiah was holding up a slippery little body in his hands.

Ava couldn't hold back her sob as she reached out for the baby. Josiah was taking off his light jacket and wrapping it around the baby.

Ava pulled the baby towards herself. She tried to keep from gripping the fragile bundle too tightly. She traced a finger over the baby's still expression.

"Something's wrong," she said, the lack of movement registering. She lifted terrified eyes to Josiah. "Something's wrong!"

Josiah took the baby back from her and Ava's knees buckled. She was relieved Josiah didn't try to stop her from collapsing onto the pew, his entire focus on the baby. He rubbed the baby briskly with his coat.

"Come on now, little one," he said.

Josiah's big hand rubbed against the baby's chest. The baby was losing its ruddy color and taking on a grayish tint.

"No," Ava said, denying what she knew was happening. She watched her baby's chest, willing it to rise. "NO!" she yelled.

"Chris!" Josiah yelled. "We need help!"

Ava started to frantically grab for her baby, but hands held her back. She struggled against the hold, trying to get to her baby. The cries that ripped from her just made the silence of her lifeless baby more stark.

Ava didn't take her eyes off the limp body in Josiah's hands.

Josiah put a finger in the baby's mouth, sweeping through and pulling out mucus and secretions, but there was still no movement, the baby's color moving towards blue.

Josiah held the fragile body close to him, then lowered his face to the baby's.

Ava stopped screaming when she saw him blow air into her baby, saw the little chest rise and fall with Josiah's breath. She froze, not daring to move, not daring to take another breath until her baby did. She felt the hands on her arms tighten their grip. She could feel the tension in the hands on her arm as the rest of the men watched Josiah's efforts, but she didn't look at them. She couldn't look away from her baby, from the little chest rising with Josiah's breath.

Josiah paused and Ava wanted to close her eyes. She didn't want to watch any life that had been there ebb from her baby, but was helpless to look away.

A faint mewling sounded. It was so quiet, Ava thought she imagined it. But then it sounded again and color seeped back into the baby.

This time the hands that had restrained her let Ava reach for her baby. The warm body squirmed against her and Ava had to force herself to not clutch her baby too tightly to herself. The baby made another sound, louder this time and blinked up at her with dark eyes.

A sob caught in Ava's throat and she forced herself to hold back the emotion. She brushed a hand over the hair that was plastered to the baby's head.

"Looks like your little one's perking right up," Josiah said.

Ava forced herself to look away from her baby. She met Josiah's eyes. The man who had preserved her baby's life. She knew words would never be enough, even if she could force them past the lump lodged in her throat. Even if she was a woman who knew how to humble herself with gratitude.

Josiah gave a slight nod, acknowledging the thank you she couldn't say.

"Need something to tie off the cord," Chris spoke. "You got some string, Josiah?"

Josiah went to the front of the church and rifled through a box, producing some twine.

"Your knife sharp?" Chris asked.

Josiah nodded and without further instruction, took it to the stove in the corner, opening the door to the woodbox and holding his knife over the heat.

Ava held her baby closer to her. She eyed the men warily.

Chris took the string from Josiah and bent down to reach for the baby.

Ava scowled at him.

For some reason, her protective move elicited the first look of approval she had seen from the man since she had arrived in town.

"I need to tie off the cord," Chris said. "You can do it, but you'll have to set your little one down to do that."

Ava narrowed her eyes, wondering if he was to be trusted anywhere near her baby. Grudgingly she let him pull Josiah's coat back from the baby. He made quick work of tying a tight knot around the cord, then slicing off what the baby no longer needed.

As soon as he was done, Ava tucked the coat back around the baby.

"Fine lookin' little one," one of the men said.

Ava kept a finger on her baby's chest, feeling the reassuring rise and fall continue. She looked up at the man who spoke. Vin looked at her baby.

"Congratulations, Miss LaCroix," Ezra said. "I trust you'll forgive the unorthodox company at your time of confinement."

A small laugh escaped Ava, trapped emotion mixing with humor.

"You got a place she can rest?" Chris asked Josiah.

Ava started to shake her head. She didn't need any more charity than they had given her already by taking the room above the saloon and accepting the meals they had provided.

"Ain't gonna be good for the baby to be moved so soon," Chris said. He sounded so sure, Ava wondered how he had any knowledge of newborns. But if it was going to harm her baby in any way to move, then she would stay put.

She looked at the aftermath of the birth, on the floor she had scrubbed earlier that day. Her cheeks heated with humiliation.

"I can—"

Four voices cut her off.

"No."

"Nope."

"Don't be ridiculous."

"Leave it."

Ava frowned.

"Come on," Chris said. He didn't try to take the baby from her arms, just put a hand beneath her elbow to help her stand and make sure she was steady. He released her as soon as he saw she was and stepped back when Josiah moved closer to lead her to a small room at the front of the church.

Ava sat on the cot while Josiah unfolded a couple blankets and laid them across the foot of the thin mattress. He said something about getting what she would need, but the baby was nuzzling against her, distracting her. Ava barely noticed he was leaving until he closed the door behind him.

Turning her full attention to the baby, she undid the few buttons on the bodice of her dress, instinctively moving to feed her baby.

Her baby.

Ava ran a hand over the hair that was still plastered to the little head.

Her baby that she had almost lost.

The baby made a grunting noise that was small enough to highlight how helpless the little life was.

The tide of emotion finally caught up to her, washing over her, burying her.

Ava choked back a sob. She pressed a kiss to the soft head.

Her breath caught in a trembling wave, the fear and pain and love all washing over her at once.

The baby wriggled, pulling away and blinking big eyes up at her again. Staring solemnly at her like she was supposed to know what she was doing.

Ava looked down at her…son? Daughter? She hadn't even thought to ask or look.

She pulled back the oversized, rough coat wrapped around the newborn.

Her son.

She bit her lips together as she looked at him, he was staring up at her like he was learning her face.

"Don't get your hopes up, kid," she whispered to him through trembling lips. "I'm just going to let you down."

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