"What did Kardivar tell you?!?"
"All he needs is a name.."
"Bell, I need you to run that back, just one last time."
"Its an honor to serve by you two legends."
"Help me... please!"
"Lazar!"
"You were never part of the bigger picture."
"Your a damn hero kid, you know that.
"Steady, hold him steady." He began to regain consciousness. He recognized the voice of Perseus close by. Opening his eyes startled he immidiatly threw the two nurses away, sending them to the ground.
"Stay away from me!" He shouted, swiftly rising to his feet in a defensive position.
"Comerade!" Perseus raised his voice enough to get Bell's attention. "Stand down, remember my voice. Everything is ok, you are safe. Nobody is here to hurt you." The man slowly approached him, seating the younger man back down.
"My apologies." He said to the nurses through heavy breaths.
"Bad dreams?" Perseus asked still standing.
"You could say that." Bell kept his eyes at the floor.
"Get dressed, come find me in the hall when your ready." He and the other nurses left the room, giving Bell a moment.
He held his head in his hands, the morning light shone through the window. He didn't know who he was. Part of him was eager to learn who he was, but part of him wasn't. He had to go visit Park before he went with Perseus, he needed someone to talk to.
Sliding his golves on, he shut the door to his quarters behind him. "You ready?" Perseus asked as he approached.
"I will be soon, I'm going for a visit in the medbay."
"To see the girl?" Perseus raised his eyebrow, as if he already knew the answer.
"Yes sir."
"Do not be long. We don't have all day." The man marched away.
"15 B?" He asked one of the nurses.
"Yes sir." The woman responded.
He opened the door to find Park still in the medical bed, watching the TV in the corner.
"Good Morning." He said cheerfully.
"And to you." She said smiling. "I thought you were bringing food."
"I will later today but I wanted to stop by..." his eyes reverted to the tiled floor as he sat on the edge of her bed.
"Something's bugging you." He couldn't tell if that was an assumption or a question.
"You look like your feeling better, what have the nurses said." He looked back up at her.
"They said the healing process is going wuicker than they expected, I'll be out a day early." She said raising an eyebrow. "Tell me why did you come by this early?"
He struggled to make eye contact. "Perseus... I.." he hesitated, begining to feel overwhelmed with unfamiliar emotions. Tears began to form in his eyes. He wasn't used to crying. Its not something he was proud of, especially infront of other people.
"Hey." She said sofly reaching for his hand.
"I'm scared." He said finally meeting her gaze. "And I hate it." He said through gritted teeth. "Park, I want to know who I was. If I ever had any friends, family... anyone I loved. But the cost.. The cost of having to relive pain and death over for a second time. My mother... what if she's dead. I don't want to see it, not again." His eyes were desperate, fearful. She looked into his blue orbs and for a moment she saw what he would have looked like as a child.
"I'v never experienced this level of pain and trauma you have Bell. But, if I had, I would want to know everything. Theres always going to be a price to pay, for everything we do, see, hear, speak.. But its better to live with a restful mind knowing what happened. To understand why you or others were the way they were, perhaps you could regain some of your oldself. It would benefit you greatly to come to terms with the past. You won't be alone with these struggles Bell, I wouldn't allow it." She smiled giving his hand a squeeze.
"Thank you." He said sincerly.
"Just remember the food later today." She said smiling.
"Definatly." He chuckled, getting back to his feet. Opening the door he looked back over his shoulder, smiling. How wonderful it was to have someone to speak with.
"Sir." He said approaching Perseus standing in the hallway of the medbay.
"Come, it will be better if I let one of the doctors explain the process to you." The man opened the door to a small office.
Bell shut the door behind them as the doctor greeted them. "Sirs, please have a seat." The woman said on her feet. "It is quite the honor sir." The woman said to Perseus as they all sat.
"Dr. Kuznetsov, I beleive you have already been breifed on the procedure and the background of your patient." Perseus said putting a hand on Bell's shoulder.
"Yes sir, I am well aware of what we will be doing." She replied.
"Very well, I figured it would be best if Comerade Petrov could get the explaination of the process himself."
"Of course." She said turning to Bell. "Your memory, you struggle to remember anything of your life before your abduction by the CIA, correct?"
"Yes, I have faint glimmers here and there, but from what I gathered it must have been from a time when I was fairly new to this organization. I can't recall any memory of people I knew, places I've been... my own name."
"Well that is something that can certainly be fixed but you must understand that not all your memory can return with the snap of two fingers. The CIA did not erase your memory, it is simply supressed. Everything is still there, but we must help your brain to retrieve it. To regain the most vital parts of your memory, will take a few years. Some patients have managed to regain memory in less than two years. However their case was nothing like yours. To be honest we haven't had a pateint with your…" she paused trying to find the right words. "background." She finished.
"I understand, but will this process be painful?" Bell questioned.
"You may experience some discomfort, however it is not nearly as agonizing as what those Americans performed on you. Compared to that, it is mearly a pinch."
"Any side effects?" Bell couldn't help but be skeptical.
"If anything it will releive side effects you may be experiencing right now, difficulty sleeping, trouble recalling vital aspects of memory... Perhaps you feel at times that you have no identity, that you may have no idea who you are, who you were, or who you are going to be."
"Yea.." was all he managed to say, looking at his feet.
"Is this still something you want to proceed with sir?" The doctor asked.
Bell hesitated for a moment, the beginings of fear rising again. "You won't be alone.."
"It is." He said confidently, looking at the doctor.
"Very well then, follow me into the lab." She stood up ushering towards the door to her left. "Come this way."
Bell got to his feet following her through the door and into the lab. It looked disturbingly identical to the one he recalled when he was taken by the CIA.
"Have a seat." She said. The chair wasn't like the one he was placed in when he was programmed. It was fairly similar however it allowed the patient to prop their feet up while they sat. He was suprised there were no restraints being placed over him.
The doctor pulled down a projector screen in front of him, the light shining onto it from behind. The room was dimly lit as lightreflected off the grey tiled room.
The woman brought wires and different sorts of vitals towards him. "We will need to be monitoring you while you undergo the process." She explained before he could even ask. Placing a small cap onto his head, she attached small electrodes over his skull.
"Give me your arm." She said.
Bell did as he was told and watched as the doctor began to rub alcohol on area of his arm. "You may begin to feel a bit drowsy in a moment, trust me this will make you feel much better." She said finding a vein and injecting him with the needle.
After she finished prepping her pateint with the rest of the equipment she shut the door to the lab behind her, returning to Perseus who was behind the one way mirror.
Bell began to panick when he saw he was in the room alone, terrible memories returning to him against his will.
"No need to worry, we are here, just behind this wall. Keep your focus on the screen." Dr. Kuznetsov said through the mike from her office. The sound coming from the speakers in the ceiling giving a faint echo. He felt the substance kicking in as he slowed his breathing, becoming calm once more. He watched as the screen showed a picture of a infant.
"Your name, Benedikt Ivan Romanov, born on December 15, 1953. Son of Anatolii and Lida Romanov, can you remember?" The doctor asked softly.
"Lida… Anatolli…" Bell muttered as he closed his eyes. "I hear them…." he said in awe. "But I can't see their faces.
"Some of these pictures you see will just be for reference but this one, this one is a real one of your father from the second war." The woman said as the picture shifted.
Bell opened his eyes seeing the picture of his father, and thinking of what he himself looked like. To him he was practically a spitting image of the man infront of him. They both shared the same eyes, hair, nose… "Papa." He muttered. The man didn't look much older than Bell. He could tell by the look within his father's eyes that he had seen the other side of war. The blood, death, and terrors can certainly change one's perspective. And by the looks of this photograph he would like to think his father would agree.
What about my mother?" He asked loud enough for the doctor to hear.
"She is here." She said changing the picture.
Seeing his mother was the final nail in the coffin. Small tears began to form in his eyes just before they came streaming down his face. "Mama." He uttered with a smile. She was beautiful. The younger woman couldn't be that much older or younger than his father. He couldn't ignore the bright smile she had across her face. He recognized that smile. It was his. He wondered what had her so happy in the moment of that photo.
"Benedikt, you were the older brother to a younger sister, Karina Romanov." The doctor changed the screen once again, this time to a young girl. The fragile and young face made her out to be around ten years of age, he assumed. She looked just like their mother.
"Karina" He said softly. "Our family used to call her Speedy." He smiled remenissing at his recollection. His eyes began to grow heavy and the room suddenly grew darker and darker.
Authors Note: thanks to all who read these, the views on both my stories are incredible. I prefer you to leave reviews on wattpad, i check there more frequently.