Ravi was typing up an essay, blowing out puffs of air in frustration as he tried to think up something worthwhile to say, something-anything-that would give him the needed points. Miss Zenon had pity on him and she gave him the option of extra credit. He was handed a short list of topics he could write on and was given a week to hand in the five-thousand word assignment. Which was far easier said than done.
He slumped back in his chair. It'd been four hours since he'd started. He switched topics twice and used the backspace key more than anything else. Nothing constructive was coming from him. Nothing that seemed like A material. At this rate, he would settle for B material or even a C. Something that was passing was preferred. His palms covered his face and he groaned. He used to be able to whip out things like this easily. English had been a breeze and now look at him; he struggled to get out a single paragraph.
This was hopeless.
Ravi was doomed. Doomed. He would fail this and not receive the extra credit which meant he might not pass for the semester and Jesse would be upset at him for not trying even though he was trying but it didn't matter because she wouldn't see it that way!
He tried to calm down.
It was extraordinarily frustrating for Ravi to deal with, listening to Jessie rant and rave over him supposedly being lazy when in fact, he wasn't. It was difficult to explain but even if he tried, she wouldn't listen to him. He already knew that. Not when she had a predetermined explanation she wouldn't let go of. She would think he was lying, trying to get out of a possible punishment by trying to soften the whole thing when in reality he was telling her the truth-she just wouldn't accept it
He heard a knock at the door. Luke was there, awkwardly hovering in the doorway with one hand in his jeans pocket. It was almost comical, if he didn't remember that they were supposed to be brothers instead of strangers which was how this could be interpreted; he truly looked like he didn't know what to do. Ravi would have to initiate conversation by the looks of it. He waited a couple more seconds. Nothing. Fantastic. Annoyance started to creep up and he snapped.
"Was there something you needed?"
Luke scratched the back of his neck. "No. I mean, well yeah. I was just-"
Ravi was feeling rather impatient. He didn't have time for this. The essay needed his undivided attention if he wanted to complete it before the due date and get a good grade. He couldn't have Luke standing there, distracting him like that. "Did you need something?" He repeated. "I'm busy and I really need to focus on this."
Luke faltered. "Oh. Right. Sorry. I just thought..." Much to Ravi's irritation, he trailed off. Was that his way of sounding dramatic or intriguing so Ravi would further prompt him to continue?
He was thoroughly unimpressed.
"What is it?" He knew he'd regret asking.
Luke shrugged. "I just thought we'd have a bro's day, you know?"
Ravi stared. "Excuse me?"
He wasn't serious, was he?
He might be
This might be his way of apologizing
I don't want him to
I'm not accepting it
He can't just torment me for years and then expect me to be okay and want to hang around him as if nothing happened
And what does he mean by bro's day? He is very well aware our interests in activities greatly differ
"Yeah, I thought we'd hang out, you know?" Luke said casually. "We haven't hung out for a while."
"We've never hung out," Ravi said flatly.
Luke looked embarrassed. "Right.." His facial expression brightened but it seemed forced. "Which is why we need to change that! We'll do whatever you like. Even if it's nerdy!"
Ravi's face darkened and he glared.
Luke winced. "Sorry. Force of habit."
Force of habit my-
"Right."
Luke sighed. "I'm sorry, okay? I'm trying."
"Trying what, exactly? Trying to be a decent human being and not senselessly make fun of me and treat me like the family I'm supposed to be? Because I'm afraid that's something you should have already been doing!"
Ravi's voice rose and he breathed out, hands curling into fists.
Luke actually took a step back. The intensity of Ravi's words must have hit him like a brick. If that was the case, then good. Ravi wouldn't feel sorry for him. He deserved it. "You're right," he mumbled.
In a way, Ravi wished he wouldn't agree. It was easier to validate what he was feeling when Luke was still being a jerk, refusing to change his ways. It gave him a reason; without it, with Luke attempting to behave differently, it made him seem irrational to be holding onto this grudge against Luke.
You are irrational
Anyone else would be thrilled that he's trying
Not you
Of course not
"I-" Luke looked away when Ravi's eyes shifted back over to him, "I just thought we could try."
Why?
I don't want to
"I'd rather not," Ravi said stiffly.
"Oh, come on," Luke begged.
"No."
"Consider it?"
"No," Ravi was beginning to feel annoyed at Luke's inability to take no for an answer. "For the last time, I don't want to."
"Oh, come on. Please, just-"
Ravi cut him off.
"I said no. Just...…Just leave me alone, Luke. I have to finish this."
Luke's mouth clamped shut. He was silent, ultimately deciding to leave after sparing him one last glance.
Ravi leaned back in his chair, arms crossed.
He should be relieved. Now he could finish his essay in peace without Luke and his ridiculous idea.
But he wasn't necessarily relieved. He was, in a way. Luke's presence brought forth unnecessary tension that he didn't need right now.
But he also couldn't help but feel like a jerk.
/
His finger hovered over the call button.
He shouldn't.
But what other option did he have? It wasn't like he had dozens of other friends at his disposal. However, he was also in no mood to hear the incessant chatter. Also however, he supposed Shelby wouldn't really be Shelby if she was quiet.
He rolled his eyes.
And pressed the button.
He didn't have to wait long for her to burst out, "Hey Ravi!"
"Hi," Ravi sighed. "Listen, I need to-"
"Oh my gosh, I can't believe you called! This is so cool! What's up? Are you bored? Did you get all your homework done? Mine's done; course, it took me forever to finish that chem. Did you need any help with anything? Oh, how's that essay going? Did you pick a topic yet? Gosh, I wouldn't know which one to do. There's just so many!"
She giggled.
"Yes, I've picked one," Ravi adjusted the phone in his hand. With his other hand, he rubbed his face. "Look, I really need to speak with you about something."
"Okay!" Shelby chirped. "I'm all ears!"
He took a deep breath. "Luke is trying to...to...bond with me." Even saying the words themselves sounded so blatantly wrong.
"Bond?" She echoed curiously.
He was going to have to elaborate.
Great.
Any other time she would have it figured out.
He made sure his voice was quiet in case anyone was listening in. You're just being paranoid. "He wants to have a bros day, to do whatever I want to do."
She hummed. "And you don't want to?"
"No," He scowled. "I want nothing to do with him."
There was no judgement in her voice as she asked, "Are you scared?"
He sputtered.
Scared?
"Or nervous?" She continued. "Because you haven't done it a while."
"We've never done something like this."
"See," She insisted, "it makes sense. You guys just aren't comfortable with each other yet."
"And I suppose you want me to just go anyway?" He said moodily.
She was silent for a moment. "What do you want, Ravi?"
For him to leave me alone
To go back to him hating me
It was much more bearable than this
"I don't know," He mumbled. In years past, he would have been utterly thrilled if Luke had shown even the tiniest bit of interest in doing something like this. He eventually gave up on that notion, knowing that Luke had other, far more important things in his life than him. "I don't know what I want."
"That's okay," She said.
Is it?
"How come you don't want to go?"
"Huh?" He said stupidly.
"Why don't you want to go?" She repeated patiently. "You sound like you kinda do. So what's keeping you from going?"
He lowered his eyes even though she couldn't see him. One of the major reasons was simply because he saw no reason to bother with it-an attempt at repairing their relationship-after everything that had happened.
But then, there was something else.
It was childish, vindictive.
Jessie, his parents, they would be so disappointed with him They'd wonder where the real Ravi went because this isn't him.
Because-
He'd liked seeing Luke hurt.
Not physically. Although, there were times he would have liked to whack him with something hard-no, seeing hurt flash across Luke's face at his decline of having that bros day had caused satisfaction to seep into his bones. It was relatively innocent compared to all the things Luke had done, had said to him in the past. No one would see it that way, though. Jessie wouldn't; she would gape at him as though he were someone else and basically tell him to get over it, all the while ignoring how he felt.
And alright, maybe it was wrong of him.
Maybe he should know better at his age.
Maybe it would just be easier to go along with it.
But Ravi was tired.
Sick of the same old thing.
Did anyone care? Pfft Of course not.
If they had, they would have shown it before now.
Shelby did
She cares
She's shown you
You've ignored it
/
Ravi decided he would work on his essay later, it wasn't like he was making much progress at the moment anyway. He found Luke in his bedroom, absentmindedly playing a round on his video game console. It was clear he wasn't really into it; he typically tried a lot harder than he was currently doing. He was usually loud, too, yelling at the TV for his character to move or jump.
Ravi stood in the doorway just like Luke had done not too long ago in his room; his hands were in his pockets, face lowered to where he glanced down at the floor. It took Luke a moment to realize he was there. Then, he turned the console off, staring at Ravi with intense eyes. It was the kind of look that was rather strange to see on Luke's face. It made it all the more uncomfortable.
"I realized I was likely a bit too hasty when you asked me that question," Ravi spoke through deafening silence.
Luke looked hopeful.
"I don't want to," Ravi admitted. Luke's smile fell but he nodded. "I don't want to try to fix his-" He gestured between them. "It's been too long and I'm not sure it would ever be normal again between us."
"Right," Luke was trying not to show his disappointment. "I get it. It's fine."
He reached to turn back on his TV.
"But-" Ravi sighed. Luke looked up at him, hardly daring to believe it. "I'm willing to try."
Much to Ravi's shock, he was swept up in a hug by Luke. He...he couldn't remember the last time they'd hugged. Now, he was pressed into Luke's chest, with the older boy's face buried in Ravi's hair.
/
Luke was bored.
He didn't verbalize it but he didn't have to. Ravi could tell; after some prodding, some questions and nearly half an hour of being unable to make up his mind, Ravi settled on going to the art museum for that afternoon. He'd never been to this one before as it was newly opened. He expected some fuss but none came. Luke walked with him without any whining, without asking how much longer it was or ignoring Ravi and playing on his phone.
"This is nice," Luke lied.
Ravi gave him a look. This time, he didn't mind it so much. "No, it isn't."
Luke opened his mouth to hurriedly explain but Ravi didn't give him that chance.
"It's fine. I don't expect you to like the same things I do."
Luke was relieved. "So you don't mind that I think it's a snore fest?"
"Considering that I think along the same lines for sports-no," Ravi said.
They walked some more.
Luke was side-eyeing him.
"Can I ask you something?"
"You already did," Ravi said dryly. "But what?"
"Are you and Shelby a thing?"
Ravi stopped walking. He stared open-mouthed at Luke. "What?"
"It's cool if you are," Luke said. "Really. I'm happy for you."
"What? I...we're-no!" Ravi was shaking his head vigorously. "We're not a thing. There is no thing. We are thing-less."
Oh, oh, he was rambling.
"Really?" Luke was doubtful.
"Yes," Ravi stressed.
"Oh. But you guys are always together."
"Guys and girls can be strictly friends," Ravi told him.
"Uh huh," Luke mumbled.
"Why must everyone assume there is something going on?" Ravi said, annoyed. "We are just friends, that's all."
Luke put his hands up in surrender. "Sorry, dude. It's just weird, that's all."
"Weird how?" Ravi said in disbelief.
"Well, you know...she just seems to really like you and she touches you a lot and I don't know, she just gives me that impression."
"Well, it's wrong," Ravi scowled. "There is nothing going on between us. It isn't like that and I would appreciate it if you didn't insinuate otherwise."
"Sorry," Luke mumbled.
They walked some more.
Ravi's mood deteriorated after that. Being asked about Shelby was something he detested. Much less by Luke who was really just being incredibly nosy at this point. By now, neither of them were enjoying themselves. Ravi just wanted to leave and return to his bedroom.
"Let's just go," Ravi started to go the other direction, near the flashing red exit sign.
Luke stood in that spot, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, glancing towards the direction they would have gone in order to finish the tour. "We're not done yet."
"I don't care."
Luke caught up to him, letting out an oof when the door hit him. Ravi didn't bother to hold it open for him. "Hey, what's your problem?" He wondered. He couldn't seem to keep his mouth shut, continuing, "Are you mad because I asked about Shelby?"
Sort of, yes
It isn't any of your business
Not to mention, I am sick of people mistaking us for a couple
It's ridiculous
"It doesn't matter," Ravi said flatly. "Let's just go home."
Luke looked disappointed. "Oh. Okay."
They walked along the sidewalk in silence.
Ravi didn't like how Luke's eyes would glance at him momentarily and then dart to look at something else.
He's acting like he's afraid of you
But that's good
Don't you want that?
He deserves to feel like that after everything
"What?" He said snippily.
Luke stared and looked away again. "Nothing, it's just...you're different now."
Their shoes thudded against the sidewalk. Ravi pondered his words.
He supposed he truly was; there was no denying it. He was no longer naively optimistic or or happy or at all the same kind of person he'd been when he was brought to the country as a child. He didn't think anyone would ever notice it, though. They hadn't thus far.
He shrugged.
Luke continued, his tone conveying he was almost...hilariously apprehensive of upsetting Ravi, "I dunno what it is, you just are. I don't even see you smile anymore."
I haven't
Not for a while
And no one's cared
"Why do you care?" Ravi challenged, feeling brave enough to ask. "It's not like you have any reason to."
"Because I should," Luke said. The I'm your bother went unsaid. Ravi was glad about that. He didn't want to hear it, didn't want to hear the justifications again.
"It doesn't matter," Ravi said, dismissively.
What's done is done and no longer matters
"Yes, it does," Luke argued. "Of course it does."
Ravi stopped to stare at him. The rest of the world continued to go. People walked past them, grumbling about them being in the way. Cars flew by. "If it matters, it should have been so before now."
Luke looked away. "I know."
"And not because it was pointed out to you."
"I know," Luke repeated, remorsefully. "I'm sorry, Ravi. Can't you just forgive me?"
I shouldn't
You don't deserve it
You'll just go right back to where you were eventually
"No," Ravi said curtly.
Luke swallowed. It wasn't the answer he wanted. But he didn't complain. "That's okay," He let out.
Is it?
Ravi raised his eyebrows.
"Take all the time you need," Luke said quietly.
It wasn't what he expected. Luke wasn't exactly known for being mature. And yet, it happened. Ravi could only stare.
Luke reached his hand out to clasp him on the shoulder, refraining at the last minute.
They walked back to the penthouse in silence.
if you guys have say suggestions for future chapters I'd love to hear them!