"Now then, time for us to get to work!"

I grinned at Johnathan as the computer in my temporary office began its start-up process. He stood across the desk, a wary look upon his face.

"Shouldn't we wait for Sortiara before we start planning things? She's going to flip her shit when she finds out we went and made plans without her."

"The water stopped running a good half hour ago, if not slightly longer" I shook my head. "At this point, she's just late; time waits for no one. That, or disinterested; may have cooled off slightly, but I highly doubt she wants to see me any more tonight."

"We could put this off till tomorrow then."

"No, we cannot" I sighed. "We're back out hunting tomorrow, right? That is what I've been told last, anyways?"

"Yes…"

"So then we need a plan tonight! No more rushing into shit blind or by whims; that's how shit shows like the last fight are formed. I won't support such sloppy play, especially from supposed allies."

"But this can't be so… deep, right? We just go out tomorrow night, walk around the city a bit, and take on whoever steps up to face us. Simple."

"…Oh sweet baby Jesus, you're…" I sighed, not even bringing myself to finish muttering the thought aloud. "No, it's not that simple. This is a war man, for fucks sakes! Those who take the time to prepare shall live, and those that don't will die. It's that simple. Now if only this piece of shit- Ah, finally…"

First thing I did when the computer finally finished booting up was open a web browser and pull up the seven-day forecast for the local weather. Not that Johnathan could see any of this from where he was standing, but…

…Actually, this could be a good time to teach the kid some things…

"First things first, when preparing for battle" I grinned at Johnathan from behind the monitor. "Identify the external factors."

"The what now?"

"Factors outside of your control, or that of your enemies" I explained. "For example, the weather for the next seven days: recite it to me, now. Accurately, of course."

Johnathan stared at me for a moment, apparently trying to see if I was serious. When it eventually twigged in his head that I was, he voiced not the forecast, but a complaint.

"What the hell?! How would I know that?! Do you think I check the weather for even the day of, let alone the entire coming week?!"

"Ah, so we've already hit the first problem!"

"How is that a problem?!"

"Weather plays a key role in every battle" I sighed. "You should always know what conditions set by mother nature you're fighting under. Can't use fire attacks in the rain now, can you?"

"That's not at all how battles in a Holy Grail War work!"

"Perhaps not, but are you certain that there are no servants who gain boosts to their power, or gain extra or different abilities, based on the weather they find themselves fighting in?"

I raised an eyebrow at the kid as he went quiet.

"As I suspected: you weren't even thinking about such a notion, were you?"

"…No…" he admitted, sounding a bit defeated.

"Tsk, tsk" I wagged a finger at him. "I get you took a couple of days off to relax and recover, and that's good. Relaxation in times of stress is needed. But you need to get your mind back into the proper mentality now, rather than just as we're walking out the damn door tomorrow. Or rather, I should say in the first place, since I doubt you ever considered the weather to begin with, given your answer, or lack thereof."

"…But seven days out? Isn't that excessive?"

"Yes, it is" I agreed, laughing slightly. "I only said seven to raise the point and teach you a lesson. Besides, the seven-day forecasts aren't exactly reliable. However, form now on I will expect you to be able to tell me the forecasts for the next two days, at any time I ask. The conditions under which you take yourself to the battlefield should always be in your thoughts, understood?"

"But that's- …Fine… got it…"

"This goes for Sortiara too" I gave him a friendly grin. "She's just not here to get the lecture at the moment."

"Right…"

"Now, the other external factor that will be relevant" I continued. "Can you tell me what it is?"

"Probably not, no."

"Alright, then I shall tell you. The answer is…"

I made a drumroll sound on the desk, getting an eyeroll from Johnathan. Not that I cared; if he was going to be such a downer in the lecture, I would just have to bring enough cheer for two.

"Yellow units" I exclaimed, opening new tabs and bringing up the local news from various sources.

"…Now you're just taking the piss" Johnathan muttered. "The hell are yellow units?"

"Come on, Johnathan! This is a game; think of it as such! If you do that, then surely you'll understand what I mean by yellow units!"

"…"

"…"

"…You're talking about third parties, right?"

"Yes, exactly" I grinned. "For future reference, our alliance is blue, the other masters and whoever they're working with, including their servants, are red, and anyone else is yellow."

"Ugh... noted."

"Good! But, here's the catch: can you tell me who, specifically, I'm marking as yellow units in this case?"

"Um…"

"…"

"…No."

"I'll give you a hint: we met them the last fight."

"But wouldn't- Oh… Oh, you mean the police!"

"Very good! As of right now, do you think either the Mage's Association or the Catholic Church will seek to interfere directly themselves?"

"Not at all. So long as the secrecy of magecraft isn't threatened, they'll leave it to the masters to fight it out."

"Then we don't need to worry about them being yellow units then. So yes, for now the only yellow units we need to worry about are the police. Now, have you read, or watched, any local news recently? To see what the police are currently up to?"

"Nope."

"I already told Sortiara this last night, I believe, so I'll tell you this now. You need to always, always, always be on top of what the police are doing. This is America; their law enforcement doesn't fuck around. Shit starts getting blown up or destroyed out of the blue, they'll crank up the heat. Maybe even call in the feds, or worse case, the guard. …Do you see what I'm getting at with this?"

It took a moment, but Johnathan's eyes narrowed, as if he did understand.

"The school…"

"Yes, the school…" I sighed, skimming through multiple news reports. "Of all the places you muppets could have taken a fight-"

"Hey, that was-"

"I'm including all you idiots in this, not just you and Sortiara" I raised a hand to shush him. "Now let me finish! …Of all the places to take a fight, you took it at a school, and then did massive property damage to it."

"It wasn't massive…"

"You basically blew up three portables."

"That was Berserker and Zach!"

"The police would know that how, exactly? And why were they there to begin with? Just to casually do some property damage?"

"…"

"…"

"…Because we were fighting there" Johnathan sighed.

"You'd think having grown up in the land of school shootings you'd know not to take these kinds of fights to school grounds" I shot him a wry smile. "Luckily for us, they're treating it as some accidental arson; prank of some nature gone wrong. All things considered, I'm assuming Archer's master did something with her illusion magecraft to twist things to this outcome."

"Or the Church is already kicking into gear with coverups" Johnathan pointed out.

"With what money? I mean, they could, but shit's got to be expensive; pulling up short notice bribes without any agents, agreements or whatever else already in place, like in Fuyuki. At least, I'd imagine they had a system for dealing with coverups in Fuyuki."

"…Good point."

"We cannot rely on their interference, by which I mean Archer and Archer's master, from now on. Especially since if we are in that position, our battle has already turned south; we're not looking to pick a fight with Archer outside of us targeting Archer directly. One at a time, is how we need to approach this, but let's return to the police for now…"

"Quite a few of them showed up that time."

"I mean, it was at an elementary school, nestled in a local neighborhood. Of course they were going to show up prepared… There's a search out for anything pertaining to the 'arson', but that's it for the moment. I don't think they'll be too much difference from the previous night tomorrow night; maybe a few more squad cars out and about patrolling, at the most. That said though…"

"What?"

"I need you to actually come around and see this" I told him, already having a map of the city pulled up on the monitor. "See everything I've boxed in here with the drag box?"

"Yeah?"

"The next thing to discuss is where we're looking to pick our fight. In other words, terrain picking. Rule of thumb on this: start general, then get more specific in ruling places out based on your specific opponent. See what I'm getting at here?"

"The area within the drag box is being ruled out, I take it?"

"You got it" I nodded. "For the rest of the war, we are not fighting in this area, understood? No need to drag the attention of the police onto us by hanging about anywhere near the crime scene."

"Makes sense. I can agree to that."

"…You know something? The more I look at maps, the more I think I'm coming to understand the reasoning behind holding the war in Fuyuki…"

"Huh? Why's that?"

"Take a look at this map of Fuyuki from 94. Or, hell, when was the final Holy Grail War?"

"Uh, 2004."

"Ok, let's even switch to that then… Yeah… yeah, I can totally see why they would choose this city for it."

"You said that already, but you still haven't explained why. Isn't it basically the same as holding the war here?"

"Not even close" I laughed. "Looking at the overall map, the city itself is rather small. For a city, that is. Even in 2004, it's fairly small, though development is clearly picking up. Go all the way back to the war in 94, and the city is really more a town than an actual city, if you ask me."

"And this is a benefit how?"

"The smaller the city, the fewer possible eyes accidentally seeing something they shouldn't. But that's not even the biggest advantage, necessarily."

Johnathan gave me a skeptic look as I opened a few more tabs.

"Every master needs a place to stay, have access to food, and the like. You know, the basic necessities for survival. The city, despite its smaller size, can still provide that. But then look to the outskirts of the city, not all too far away from where all the masters would be staying."

I flipped over to the first of the new tabs I'd made.

"This area here is known as Ryuudou Temple. Situated on a mountain just outside the city, and surrounded by forests. There's also what I believe to be a giant cave network in the area, though when I went to see myself most of it was closed off. Looked as if it had been caved in, but the specific nature as to how or why eludes me."

I moved on to the next tab.

"The local church, where I presume the Catholic Church would have based themselves for the wars. Again, isolated on a hilltop, away from civilian housing."

Next tab.

"Here, see this giant forest just outside the city? This is where the castle of the Einzberns was hiding. Would naturally believe this is where the Einzberns would have set up shop for the wars. Not many people willing to venture there nowadays though; tales of ghosts and spirits keep people away, for the most part. But that's besides the point."

"…"

"Back into the city now. Naturally, being situated next to water, it has a harbor. A big harbor."

"…"

"Final place of note: Fuyuki Central Park. Massive area; completely open grass fields. Yet obscured from sight from the outside due to the many trees planted along it's border."

"…Ok, but-"

"Actually, I lied. Real final place of note: the sewers. Naturally, I can't pull up a layout of the city's sewer system here. If only I was at home with my computer; I have the sewer system layout from 94 saved somewhere on it from my early diggings into the incident-"

"Ok, yes, this is a great presentation and all, but what's the point you're trying to make here? I don't see it."

"Think for a moment. Presumably, this is a residence, this is a residence, and all of this is potential residence. If one was truly desperate, then we can also consider the sewer system as potential residence as well. We'll consider these areas 'out of bounds', except for the sewer system, for fighting, given the likelihood of being accidentally spotted by civilians. Now, what does that leave within range to wage the war in?"

"…All this area here by the temple" Johnathan turned serious as he leaned in towards the monitor. "The entire outskirts of the city. The area around the church, potentially, if one was willing to risk fighting so close to the residence of the arbiter…"

"Don't forget the harbor as well. It would be empty at night, and provides plenty of space that's both open, yet structured and maze-like, depending on where you are on it's grounds."

"I suppose the Central Park also works… Actually, considering that's the origin point of the incident, that's actually a given; the magi of the time found it safe to fight there."

"Exactly! And, last of all, we can again throw in the sewer system, considering it would be underground and, quite likely, devoid of civilians."

"…Actually, quite a bit of space there to fight covertly, and if you can fund cover-ups for the occasional mistake or misstep-"

"Then it's no wonder the Holy Grail War hasn't been discovered yet" I grinned. "At least, by more people than just me, but even that was a fluke. Now, compare all of that to where this war is being hosted…"

"…Residential areas all over the place, packed together… Downtown is always active due to the office towers and overnight workers."

"Shopping centers are no good; private businesses throw up massive stinks from vandalism and usually are monitored by security cameras, if not also by guards."

"No street is ever quite; always some car or another driving by… Dozens of parks of decent size, but all surrounded by housing… Only the biggest of them would be sheltered from unwanted attention, even at night. But then also not fully; nighttime strolls are a thing to consider…"

"City is massive, taking more than an hour to drive end to end; even worse by public transit."

"Seven leylines all spread throughout the city means that there are seven possible manifestation locations for the grail, all of which must be monitored and covered, preventing consolidation on positioning-"

"Making taking to the outskirts of the city a waste of time, as odds are you won't find anyone there. Can't stay outside the city either; nothing but freeways running in and out for miles."

"…"

"…You starting to see the problem?"

"…Yeah" Johnathan sighed. "Yeah, I see it. In terms of finding a place to fight without drawing attention to the war… it's basically a fool's errand. It's just not happening; the city lacks the right conditions to wage a Holy Grail War in secret."

"Unless we all took to the sewers" I laughed slightly. "But even then, that would eventually cause a stir; all that damage to the sewer system alone, and the entire thing would fall apart. Just imagine Berserker caving the sewer system in? The city would fall to chaos, and the feds would be swarming all over the city, trying to figure out what the hell happened."

"And even if we could get the right deals in place to cover it up somehow, we lack the funds because the Einzberns aren't participating…"

Johnathan just stared blankly at all the opened tabs on the monitor.

"…In terms of trying to piss off the Church and Mage's Association the least possible, this was just about the worst place our parents could have set this thing up, isn't it?"

"If keeping the war a secret from the general public was the way to make them less pissed, then yes, it is" I nodded.

"…So, even from before the fighting truly started, we picked the wrong terrain to fight on."

"Technically speaking, yes… But, fortunately for you, everyone else must also fight on this same terrain, by nature of the war. They also face the same restrictions, and thus the same issues; not like the Catholic Church or the Mage's Association cares who lets the cat out of the bag, so to speak, right? The person who does, regardless of which group they associate with, if any group at all, is going to be in deep shit, right?"

"Right."

"So, in that sense, you guys lucked out. But this is why picking your battlefield, and knowing how to pick the correct battlefield, is so, so important!"

"Then, in your opinion, where should we take our next fight?"

"That would- …Depends…"

"Depends on what?"

"Well, we've only discussed the general conditions to consider, really. How to pick a general battlefield. To pick one where you are at the most advantaged over your opponent, well… you need to figure out which servant you're planning to hunt down first. Only once you have a target, can we work on narrowing down the options."

"Limited as they are…"

"Limited as they are" I nodded in confirmation. "So then, seeing as you are the actual magus here, I'll leave this decision to you. After all, regardless of who you pick, I'm sure to see something… beautiful."

A/N

You know, when I posted that last A/N, I was worried if the whole "Thank you, but also fuck you" thing would be taken for the joke that it was... I'm still not entirely sure how it came across, but just to be clear: seriously, THANK YOU for the questions!

Really, about half the reason I'm even writhing and posting this thing to begin with was to try and find some other people to discuss FATE with; none of my friends IRL care about this IP! So please, and this goes to everyone reading this: ASK any and ALL QUESTIONS you have!

Will some (or even most) be a pain to answer, like the one on Origin? Yeah, probably; to be perfectly honest, there's far more about FATE that I hate than I actually like to begin with. …Make of that what you will when it comes to how I write this thing xD

But, the base premise of FATE is, in my opinion, AMAZING, and it's why, despite how much I do hate about it, I just can't let it go.

As always, many thanks to the readers who have made it this far!