The New Girlfriend

It had been two weeks since Monica first slept with Chandler and, so far, she could not believe how well it has all been going. Even if she had to admit that it did not always feel this way. At first, her impulsive act to jump Chandler's bones seemed desperate and ill-advised. But now, she would be remiss if she did not acknowledge, even if just to herself, that this has been the most fun and rewarding hook-up of her life. She chuckled to herself, realizing that it felt almost like a sacrilege to consider what they were doing just hooking up. This was more than just two attractive, consenting adults goofing around. Even at this early stage, she could tell, there was something much richer under the surface. The kind of thing that kept a giddy smile plastered on her face all day.

Oddly enough, the best part was that no one else knew. This was a secret, private little thing that she and Chandler were sharing. And while it made the sex wilder and more intoxicating, it also bonded the two of them in a way they had not been before when they were just friends. Now, they had someone to share some of their most intimate thoughts with, safe in the knowledge that it would remain between the two of them. As if they were each other's priest, psychologist, lawyer and sexual fantasy all rolled into one. They could let their guard down. They could be vulnerable. They could be themselves. And in doing so, it made her see Chandler differently that she ever had before.

It was a strange honeymoon phase, and it was unlike any other relationship she had been in. And while neither one of them were ready or willing to concede the fact that they were in a relationship, deep down, she knew what they were doing had all the telltale signs of being in one. They were giddy all the time around each other. Laughing, leaning in, sharing a seat and a few inside jokes. Stealing slight touches. Imperceptible glances that went unnoticed by everyone else, but spoke volumes to the two of them. Most of all, they could not seem keep their hands off each other. They were constantly finding any place where they could sneak off to and have sex. Even now, right here at the coffee house, in front of their friends, she and Chandler only had eyes for each other. While everyone else was going about their day, sitting a mere few feet away from them, they were all oblivious to the fact that she and Chandler were quietly recounting the events of last night, and how they had sex in that nearby supply closet.

It was indeed a wild, unpredictable time in her life, and she was happy. Which made no sense at all since she was still homeless, broke and unemployed. All of her clothes smelled like those two disgusting birds the boys had and she was sleeping on a couch. Truly, there was not much to be happy about.

That is, except for how he made her feel. How all of this made her feel. Wanted, cared for, seen. He made her feel like she was more than all the terrible things going on in her life. She was more than a job and an empty bank account. She was a funny, charming, sexually desired young woman, and she was not sure if she could accept any of that as true if it were not for Chandler's affections.

She was also quite shocked that no one had picked up on any of this. Her constant good mood. Chandler's newfound confidence. The fact that the two of them had not complained once about sharing the pull-out couch every night. No one batted an eye. No one was suspicious. And it made her wonder, did the rest of the gang think that she and Chandler were sexless robots? Was the idea of either one of them having sex really so foreign and strange? Did they all consider the two of them to be these flaccid, celibate caricatures? Background players in everyone else's story?

She would almost be insulted if she wasn't so relieved not to have the rest of the gang meddling and interfering with her love life. Or at the very least, with her sex life.

And even if they did feel that way, and she and Chandler were nothing more than vanilla cardboard cut-outs, then the joke was on them. Because here she was with Chandler, and he was looking at her like she was the only person in the room, and all she could think about was how they could sneak off right now and have a quickie before everyone else came back to the apartment, and whatever Rachel and Ross were arguing about was just white noise in the background of her own story. A story she knew to be more vibrant and adventurous than anything going on with the rest of the gang.

And she would have continued to feel that way, and dissolved into her private little world with Chandler, if Ross's voice was not just the perfect, yet annoying, combination of pitch and tone to drive a dagger through her skull. It was enough to force her to turn her attention away from Chandler and to the bickering hens behind her.

"Look, I'm sorry if it bothers you Rachel, but it seems that the ladies can't get enough of The Rossatron."

"No, that doesn't bother me. What bothers me is that you called yourself that." Rachel chuckled and looked around the room as if everyone was in on her joke.

Ross shook his head dismissively at her. "I guess you'll just have to get used to the fact that I am a hot commodity around here now. Everyone can tell I'm fresh on the market. They all just want to step right up and squeeze my melons to see if I am ripe."

Rachel screwed her eyes up in near sympathetic confusion. "What?"

Ross shook his head again, but this time, at himself. "I don't know."

Rachel folded her arms, frustrated at Ross's cocky attitude about his burgeoning dating prospects. She glanced around the lobby and then locked in on an attractive brunette sitting at the counter.

"Okay Rossatron, if you are such a Romeo and women are just falling at your feet, how about you go get that girl's number." Rachel gestured at the woman with her head.

Ross glanced over nervously, but then lifted the damp napkin Phoebe sneezed on and attempted to come across airy and unconcerned with Rachel's challenge. "Why would I do that when I have Amanda?"

"You went on one date. With your kids. At Chucky Cheese. And you didn't even kiss her."

Ross glared across the room at Chandler.

Chandler leaned back defensively. "I tell people secrets. It makes them like me."

Monica leaned in, slightly concerned, and whispered low into him. "Not our secret though? Right?"

Chandler quickly shook his head to reassure her.

Rachel mocked smug laughter, as if she had already won some game of chicken against Ross. "No, really; I want to see the master at work."

Ross looked over at the young woman one more time. She was attractive, and he knew if he was able to get her number, it would really get under Rachel's skin.

"Fine. I'll go over there and give her a little charm o' Ross. But you may not want to watch."

Rachel chortled. "Oh, no. I've seen you flirt. I definitely want to watch this."

Rachel turned slightly to inconspicuously spy on Ross as he approached the woman at the counter and Monica slid over closer to her on the couch, finally curious enough to break fully from her conversation with Chandler.

"What is going on?"

Rachel tried to suppress a self-satisfied smirk. "Ross is going to hit on that girl over there to prove something to me."

Chandler smiled and then glanced at the woman. "Wow. She's pretty."

Monica turned and shot him a jealous glare, and he began to stammer.

Rachel looked over and her lips twisted up as she tried to decide how attractive she thought the woman was. "You think so?"

Chandler looked down at Monica, her eyes growing more intense as she waited for him to clarify his position.

"Uh, you know, I don't know what I said that. She isn't pretty at all now that I look at her. Actually quite plain."

"She kind of looks like Monica."

Chandler's eyes went wide and he shrugged, almost in defeat of the predicament he was now in.

Monica, decided to have a little fun, and smirked as she pressed him.

"Oh, so does that mean I'm not pretty? Am I quite plain?"

"Uh…."

"Well?"

"I have no idea how to answer that so I am just going to look out in this direction until you two come up with something else to talk about."

Monica chuckled and then leaned over as her brother's voice rose above the dim of the coffee shop.

"So, you know they call them coffee beans, but they are actually seeds." Ross leaned up on the counter and attempted a seductive smile.

The woman raised her eyebrows in confusion and then tried her best to appear interested in what Ross was saying. "Oh really. That's so, uh, well, that's something."

"Yes. Not many people know that. You know, maybe you and me can go out and have some coffee seeds." Ross started to run his finger up and down the bar suggestively.

The woman appeared even more bewildered. "You mean, go out for just the beans?"

"What?" Ross suddenly snapped out of his attempt to woo this woman and became acutely aware of what he was saying and how little sense it made. "Was I talking about seeds?"

"Well, more than anything else."

"Hey! Oh, this is great! You guys met already."

Ross snapped his head back and watched as Joey slid up to the bar and placed a kiss on the woman's lips. Ross seemed beside himself as he gestured his confusion with his hands, but could only come up with one response upon realizing his chances with this woman had disappeared in an instant as he watched Joey wrap his arm around her waist.

"Oh come on."

"Yeah, this is Kathy, I was bringing her around to meet you guys."

Ross let out another, more shocked and incensed, "Oh come on!"

"Yeah, we're kind of seeing each other."

Suddenly, Rachel's victorious cackling could be heard reverberating around the entire coffee house. Ross screwed his lips up in frustration and let out one last, quiet, defeated, "oh come on".

Monica awoke when she felt a shift in the weight on Chandler's side of the bed. She groaned as she opened her eyes and to the flickering of the television being turned on. She pulled herself up onto her elbows and yawned, keeping one aggrieved eyebrow raised.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm crossing the Delaware. Washington and I are going to sneak attack the Hessians on the other side."

Chandler chuckled but then recoiled as he looked back at Monica's unamused expression. She sat up and began to rub her eye with her palm. "It's two-thirty in the morning."

"I know, but there's this thing I wanted to catch..."

Monica shook her head. Unless they were going to have sex, she could not think of a good reason to be awake at this hour. "It's very late."

"I know, but…"

"You have work tomorrow."

Chandler rolled his eyes. He never had to deal with someone getting on his case for pulling an all-nighter before. And suddenly, sharing an apartment, a room, a bed, with someone he was having amazing sex with felt very stifling. "Jeez. I just want to watch a little TV, what's the big deal. Relax mom."

Monica shot up, her eye's shooting daggers at the back of Chandler's head. "What did you just say?"

Chandler winced, almost realizing his transgression immediately and turned to face her meekly. "I said, relax…Moonnnn."

Before Monica could push further, she heard the quiet squeak of Joey's door as Kathy slowly opened it and gingerly tip-toed into the livingroom.

"Oh, hey, I'm so sorry. Did I wake you guys? I completely forgot people were sleeping in here."

Monica folded her arms and leaned back, resting her head on the couch. "Oh, that's okay. Apparently, we aren't sleeping."

Kathy let an unsure smile stretch across her lips, confused by Monica's tone. She then sat down in the chair and looked back at Monica and Chandler quizzically. "Why are you both out here?"

Monica gestured with her head towards Chandler's bedroom door. "Well I was sharing a room with Rachel, but it turns out, she is no fun in bed."

Kathy flinched sympathetically. "Oh. Is that why she and Ross broke up?"

"What?"

Chandler could not help but allow a sly smile to spread across his face as he turned to look at Monica. "So, you wanted to have more fun in bed with Rachel?"

Monica curled up her lips and mocked his tone, spouting gibberish back at him. She then turned to face Kathy. "What are you doing up?"

"I was coming in here to check out this Ernie Kovacs special."

Chandler snapped back with a look of impressed shock on his face. "Oh wow. That's what I was putting on."

Monica eyed Chandler and Kathy as they almost appeared to be moving closer together physically as they bonded over late-night television. She narrowed her eyes into stabbing slits as she wondered who out of the two of them was annoying her more.

"Oh yeah. It's great! I used to watch all that stuff with my dad."

"I'm sure." Monica muttered under her breath.

Chandler hopped excitedly on the end of the bed. "I know. It's the best. I'm just waiting for this commercial to end."

Monica rolled her eyes at his animated enthusiasm and allowed a quiet huff to escape her lips. "He didn't get this excited when I wanted us to watch Cooking Live with Sarah Moulton."

Kathy leaned forward and pointed at the television. "Oh I love this one. This WonderBroom looks amazing."

Chandler hopped out of bed and raced across the room with all the excitement of a child on Christmas morning. "You mean this one!"

Kathy pointed at the broom and the two of them shared a laugh as Chandler displayed it for her proudly.

Monica could not contain her combustible jealous rage any longer and let out a loud, exasperated. "Oh come on!"

Chandler and Kathy turned to look at her, both confused by her outburst.

Monica gestured towards the television. "Come on...commercial. Hurry up. I want to watch the Bernie Kozar thing."

The three of them fell into an uncomfortable silence and finally, to break the unspoken tension that seemed to be rising, Kathy cleared her throat.

"If you guys are going to watch it, do you mind if I join you?"

"Sure! My couch is your couch!" Chandler moved back over to sit on the end of the pull-out bed and gestured for Kathy to join them.

Monica scoffed. "Your couch?"

Kathy laughed nervously. "Okay, well, I'm just going to go to the bathroom."

Monica lifted her head to listen until she was sure the bathroom door had closed behind Kathy before turning to face Chandler with a scowl on her face. "Jeez. Why don't you just go out with her."

"What are you talking about?"

Monica started to gesticulate with her hands, growing more frustrated with each movement she made. "You two are practically all over each other."

"She's literally been five feet away from me the whole time. I'm just trying to be nice to Joey's new girlfriend."

Monica huffed and folded her arms. "You never get excited when I talk about brooms."

"That's because you make me use them."

Chandler smiled and waved goodbye to Joey and Kathy as they left the coffee shop. Monica looked at him and could swear he and Kathy caught each other's eyes before she departed. A knowing glance from him that Monica felt, until now, was reserved for her alone.

"Man. I really like that Kathy."

Monica shot Rachel a look of betrayal which went unnoticed as she was looking off to the side.

Chandler crossed one leg over the other as he sat back on the couch and looked off wistfully. "Oh yeah, she's great. She's funny and smart. We were up last night talking and she said…"

"You love her."

Chandler snapped his head back defensively and turned to face Rachel. "What? No, I don't."

Phoebe, not one to miss out on joining in whenever someone was starting to make Chandler feel uncomfortable, smirked mischievously. "Yes, you do. Chandler loves Kathy."

"Come on Pheebs, lay off him."

Chandler glanced at Ross and nodded at him appreciatively. "Thank you, Ross."

"Yeah, he's a little sensitive now because he is so in love" Ross mocked a kissing sound as he puckered his lips, drawing bemused stares from everyone else.

Monica waved her arms, gesturing dismissively. "All right everyone. That's enough."

Rachel looked over at Monica, slightly confused. "What? You don't want to take a shot at him?"

Monica eyed Chandler as a look of sheepish guilt flashed across her face. Worried she might have blown their cover by acting too protective of Chandler, she gave him a quick punch on the arm and forced out a fake chuckle. "Nah, I got him good last night. Right Chandler?"

Chandler sat up and rubbed his shoulder. He let loose a terse, "right" before leaning back again.

Monica turned and looked out towards the large picture window as everyone's quarreling voices began to fade as she became lost in her own thoughts. She wondered if perhaps, everyone was on to something. Chandler seemed almost infatuated with Kathy. Could he be interested in her? Was this thing between them still so undefined that he was under the impression it was just casual sex? Could he be out there, still looking at other women, with the intent to date them while he was sleeping with her?

She was suddenly not so sure, and it made her think that Chandler being attracted to Kathy made more and more sense as she recognized this insecure version of herself that she had become. Why wouldn't he choose Kathy over her? She was pretty, her clothes didn't smell like duck, she knew what she wanted to do with her life, she was an actress, chasing her dreams. She was sexy. Confident.

Meanwhile, Monica's life was a mess, and despite her newfound vigor thanks to the constant sex she and Chandler were having, she could still feel the weight of everything pressing down on her. It was constant. Draining. And it no doubt made her a miserable person to be around. But, she had thought it was different with Chandler. That she was different when she was with him. And she wondered if perhaps she was to blame, after all she was the one who suggested that this arrangement between her and Chandler would be temporary. She just never imaged he would still feel that way after these last two weeks. That somehow, they were not as wonderful to him as they were to her.

Monica struggled to lift herself up from the couch as she ran her sleeve across her nose instinctively. She tried to cover a sneeze and looked across the room to the tissue box on the counter. She muttered a silent curse at Phoebe for getting her sick, effectively ending her job hunt for at least another week.

Her head had been pounding all morning, and the ache was compounded by Ross and Rachel's bickering over who was dating the worse person.

"Hey, can one of you guys grab the tissues?"

Chandler stepped out of Joey's room and pushed up his sleeves as he stepped back upon seeing Monica, sick, laid up on the pull-out couch.

"Oh man. Looks like I am going to have to find someplace else to sleep tonight. There is no way I am sharing a bed with a sick person."

Ross looked past Rachel with a curious expression on his face. "What does that mean?"

Rachel placed her purse on the counter and began to search through it, looking to see if Josh, her sticky fingered new boyfriend, left any money in her wallet, or if he stole it all. "Oh, Chandler and Monica have been sharing a bed out here the last few weeks."

Ross became indignant and stepped past Rachel. He pointed at both Monica and Chandler with an accusatory finger. "What? You two have been sleeping together?"

Chandler and Monica eyed each other nervously.

Ross continued his hostile interrogation. "What is this all that about?"

Chandler stammered and then regrouped with a glint of discovery in his eye. "Well, uh, one of us had to sleep out here. Would you rather it be Joey?"

Ross winced in disgust and them turned his attention to his sister. "Why don't you just stay with Rachel in the other room?"

Monica shook her head. "She gets all restless at night. She rolls around and flops her arms all over the place. She almost gave me a black eye."

"Oh yeah, that's right." Ross looked up and nodded as Monica described a scene that was very familiar to him.

Before anyone could continue, the door to the apartment swung open as Joey and Kathy walked in. Joey looked around the room at everyone, slightly confused, but then shook it off with a nod and gestured towards Chandler.

"Hey. You ready for tonight?"

Chandler nodded and slipped his hands into his pockets. "Yeah. Just need to grab my jacket."

Monica eyed Kathy with a hint of disdain on her face. Here she was, sprawled out in a bed in the middle of the apartment, for everyone to see, with her hair kinked up, wearing a pair of old, stained sweats, snot running from her nose, and crumpled tissues scattered about. IN comparison, Kathy looked impeccable. No, it was worse than that, she looked sexy. Low cut top, short skirt, every hair on her head perfectly placed, all ready to swoop in and steal her man.

Her man?

She was not even sure she wanted that. But the thought slipped out of her head so effortlessly.

That was when she decided that it had to be the cold. This entire week had to be due to the lingering flu that was creeping its way into her body. Leaving her weak, dazed, confused. allowing her worst characteristics to rise to the surface and rear their ugly heads.

Chandler ran his fingers back and forth on the table. Tapping then rapidly like ten tiny drum beats. His beer had been hardly touched. He could not eat. He could not drink. He could only focus on one thought.

Was Monica jealous?

He was not quite sure.

She was sick, which complicated things, and his ability to read her expressions. The wounded look he saw on her face as he stepped out with Joey and Kathy might have just been from fever or exhaustion. But he was certain there was something there, in her eyes as he stepped out the door. Something that he felt was telling him not to go. Not to leave.

It was a strange couple of weeks for him. He had been feeling pretty good after his second brief affair with Rachel's boss. It was the rare time a relationship with a woman ended and he was relieved. The last thing he thought he was going to do after that was jump in bed with another woman. Not so fast. He tried to convince himself it was just sex, but that was not really what it was. He could tell after their first night together that this thing with Monica was more than great sex. There was something more powerful there. He just couldn't quite put his finger on it.

And while he could not put name to what he was feeling, it was strong enough to drive his instincts, causing him to become standoffish with Kathy the last few days, enough so that Joey felt compelled to force the three of them to hang out to try and form a bond between his new girlfriend and his best friend. Something Chandler tried desperately to get out of, which only spurned Joey on.

Up until tonight, Chandler could not say exactly why he was acting the way he was. But, as he stared down at the coaster collecting water from the condensation off his beer bottle, it hit him. And what he realized scared him a little, because it meant that this thing between he and Monica was no longer something that could be held at arms length or viewed from afar as if it were happening between two different people. Even if, perhaps, in a way it was. They were different with each other now, than the two people who first fell into bed together. That shared pullout couch had been a kind of chrysalis for them and now he had to face the truth of what they had metamorphized into now that the husk had been discarded. Now that they were beginning to spread their newfound wings.

"Hey! Can I talk to you?"

Chandler snapped his head up, startled by Joey's forceful tone. He nodded and stepped off his stool, following Joey to the other end of the bar.

"What are you doing?"

"What do you mean?"

Joey gestured towards Kathy back at the table. "I really want you to like her. She's being very nice to you and you're ignoring her. Why don't you want to meet some of her friends?"

"Joe, it's not that. Kathy, she's fine. I just don't want to be here with her."

Joey glared back at Chandler, feeling slighted by his dismissive tone. "What is your problem. I thought we had a deal."

"What do you want from me?"

"I want you to like her. But if that's too hard for you, then at least pretend."

Chandler shook his head and looked back at Joey with a tinge of outrage in his voice. "That's all I have been doing. I've been sitting here, pretending. Pretending that everything is normal. Pretending that all the other reasons why I shouldn't feel this way about her is why I'm scared when what I am really scared of is that she doesn't feel the same way. Pretending that I am not constantly thinking about her when all I want to do is be with her for every second of every day. And I can't believe my own damn bad luck that she doesn't know any of that."

Joey stepped back. He glanced over at Kathy once more and then placed his hand sympathetically on Chandler's shoulder. "I mean, that might be too over the top."

Monica narrowed her eyes as she stared at the vapor-rub she left on the counter. She tried to will it to lift up off the counter, all on its own, and float to her so she did not have to get out of this bed and go get it herself. But, upon realizing how ridiculous that sounded, she instead focused on the front door and focused her energy on summoning someone, anyone, to walk into the apartment so they could bring it to her and she could stay under the blanket all toasty and warm.

And then, to her surprise, just like that, the door sprang open as Chandler walked inside.

"Hey."

She looked up at him, curious if he was really there or just some apparition brought upon her thanks to her fevered mind.

"Hey."

Chandler looked over to the counter and snatched the vapor-rub and cough drops and slowly walked them over to the bed as he sat down on the end. He handed them to Monica and she eyed him suspiciously as she screwed off the top.

"So how was your big night out?"

Chandler sat, unmoving, staring at her with a pair of twinkling, earnest blue eyes. "Terrible."

Monica decided to ignore the allure of his stare and turned her attention back to the jar of vapor-rub. "But you were with Kathy. I thought she was so much fun and amazing."

Chandler couldn't help but smirk. "She's okay."

Monica flattened her lips, clearly unamused. "Everyone is right. You're in love with her."

Chandler looked down at her with a pair of incredulous eyes. "What? I barely know her."

Monica lifted her eyebrows as if unconvinced. "Yeah…so…"

"So, I don't want to be with someone I barely know." Chandler looked down as a sheepish smile slowly spread across his lips. "I, you know, want to be with someone who is a friend. A really close friend. Someone that I care a lot about, who cares a lot about me. And I just want to spend more time with that person."

Monica glanced up. She was not sure if the flush she felt on her cheeks was from her cold or because of his words. "Really?"

"Really. Besides, I don't need Joey's new girlfriend. I kind of have one of my own."

"Oh yeah? Who?" Monica eyed Chandler, imploring him to say out loud what he was inferring so she could bask in the glow of her own private little victory over Kathy, over her own misfortune, over everything bad that had happened to her before she and Chandler got together. She wanted to hear him say it, as if it would tear away at the heavy, dark curtain that seemed to have fallen over her life.

"Julia Roberts."

Monica jabbed at him with her foot. She was both amused and driven to impatience by his ill-timed joke.

Chandler turned to her and smiled. "Who do you think I'm talking about?"

"Me?" Monica decided she could not wait any longer. She needed it to be said aloud. She needed it to be defined.

"Yes. You."

Monica sat up and the two of them shared a warm, tight embrace. She then pulled back and sniffled. Unsure once more if it was her ailment or the moment causing her to reach for the tissues. She tried to inconspicuously wipe her nose and then nodded back at him. "I feel the same way too."

Chandler placed his hand under her chin to lift her face and leaned in to kiss her. They held onto each other's lips, almost as if they were kissing each other for the first time.

Chandler started to slide closer to her and laid down beside her as they continued kissing. Monica pulled back for a moment and smiled. "Wait. I thought there was no way you were sharing a bed with a sick person."

Chandler looked over at the open jar of vapor-rub and smirked. "Well, that was before all the vaporizing action. Anyway, you're probably just being a big faker."

Kathy stepped out of Joey's room and jumped back as she heard a pair of sniffling sneezes greet her in the livingroom.

Monica was wrapped tight in her robe and lumbered into the kitchen. "I'm going to get us some juice."

Kathy eyed Chandler, who was still laying down in bed. "What's the matter with you?"

"I think I'm sick."

Monica walked around the counter and slowly stepped over to the pull-out couch. "I got the other jar vapor-rub."

Kathy nodded and began to walk towards the bathroom, trying to avoid entering their personal space and covering her mouth, intent on not catching whatever it was that they had. She glanced around the room and spotted crumpled tissues, empty soup containers, discarded cough drop wrappers and thought about how quickly Chandler caught Monica's cold. Her eyes then went wide in shocked realization. Her epiphany causing her to stop dead in her tracks and drop her hands as she watched Monica gingerly ease herself back into bed.

"Oh my god. You guys are doing it!"

Chandler nervously eyed Monica and then sat up to look at Kathy. "What?"

"You guys are totally doing it! This is exactly how I got mono! That's why you didn't want me to set you up with any other girls."

"Aww. You wouldn't let her set you up with any other girls for me?"

Chandler gestured with his hands at Monica and shot her a look, quietly admonishing her for how quickly it seemed she was willing to give up their secret. He then leapt out of bed and landed in front of Kathy.

"Will you both shush! We don't want everybody to know."

Kathy's brow furrowed as a puzzled look fell upon her face. "How come?"

"Because this is going really well and one of the reasons why we think it is, is because no one knows."

Monica nodded. "You don't know what it's like around these guys. They get all up in your business."

"Plus, I don't want Ross to kill me."

Kathy shrank down a bit, a slight look of embarrassment on her face. "I'm not a good secret keeper."

Chandler shook his head in defeat, but then his eyes lit up and he grabbed Kathy's shoulders with renewed conviction. "Well, you're an actress, right? Just, uh, pretend it is a new acting exercise. You need to get better at playing someone who can keep a secret. Or, maybe it is for a part. Imagine you are going to be in a play, and the character you are playing has this really big secret to keep…"

Monica scoffed. "Or, you could just be you, in the real world, and keep this to yourself."

Kathy nodded. "Okay. Yeah. I can do that. I think. Really, I just have to keep this from Joey." Kathy then looked over at Monica. "Wow. I had no idea you guys were together. Behind everyone's back like that. Is this why you broke up with Rachel?"

Monica threw herself back down on the bed in frustration. "I was not going out with Rachel!"

Chandler tilted his head and nodded. "Yeah, it was really just one night of passion."

"Chandler!"

"Let me have this woman!"