AN: Sorry, I got a Guest review that had a point, but also Ch 13 was bothering me and I think it wasn't even Ch 13 that was the problem. It was the setup leading up to it.

So I deleted Ch 11 and Ch 12 and rewrote them both in this single chapter. Anyways, the way I wrote Toneri was actually bugging me like crazy, and the way it threw Hinata into this emotional spiral, that was hurting my throughline. I think things are more straightforward now? Without compromising the general contents or motivations of Hinata and Naruto, like with that sexy payback cycle subplot that I keep promising but now I'm like... 'Uhhh, I actually still haven't figured out anything else aside from what leads up to the 3some and I suck for explicitly promising extensive shenanigans in-story...' lmao.

Anyway, here's the rewrite! (Agh, fucking memes. I almost titled this chapter 'Why Aren't You Running?')


Runner's High

Chapter Eleven, I Am (Not) A Pushover

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.

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For the duration of breakfast, she could feel his eyes on her.

So many dirty words could be felt etched into her skin, and she wondered if he was reading her, if he could somehow tell what's become of her.

She's stained. And she was never a very good fighter.

She washes the dishes in the sink alone. Functionality has eroded away any semblance of intimacy that once defined their storybook romance and a tug at her collar causes her to slap the hickey on her neck. Her body flushes icy cold as she stills, held breath, fear seizing her.

She's sorry.

She didn't mean to hide it.

She's so, so sorry.

"How did this happen?" his voice is low, restrained. There's tension in his tone, the cold knife of scrutiny.

"I was with someone," she breathes and she feels instantly light-headed.

They've never been able to have sex since their honeymoon. Apparently, he never liked the act in the first place, and her pushiness to consummate caused undue distress on his psyche. She's never taken his aversion to heart, instead, she treated it like an allergy they had to filter out of their diet.

The fact is, she's never come to him again about sex. She's never informed him of her appetites, which seems very small, seeing how long she's already lived without it.

Nineteen years loyal has to still mean something.

He sighs and she squeezes her eyes shut, cheeks tight with hot humiliation. But it's finally out there. Even though she stands on the precipice of her world overlooking a shadowy voice, where the dust of the Cosmos curled like smoke, where she may have to venture alone, to discover what life lies ahead for someone like her; at least she finds some modicum of peace in coming clean.

"I don't get it," he says. "Is this a recent fling or ongoing?"

Her brow scrunches, slightly confused. "R-Recent."

"Then I really don't understand. Why would you cheat on me now?"

Hinata swallowed. "Th-That's the thing... I-I wasn't planning t-to. I-It just happened."

He tugs the hand towel below the sink from the drawer handle, and he turns Hinata around, helping her dry her hands. Her heart convulsed at his tender touch. Nostalgia consumed her. He always treated her so delicately, so meticulously. Much like the dolls he loves so much.

Hot tears tracked down her cheeks and she hadn't the courage to look up into his handsome face.

"Are you telling me you were raped?"

Her breath stops in her chest. "N-No. No! I-I-It's... They were my running buddy. Th-The reason I asked to have a home gym. S-So that I could s-stop seeing them."

"So go somewhere else. We don't need a home gym. I told you how disgusting that sounds."

"I-I never wanted to go somewhere that had a lot of people. That park was my spot. I-If I go somewhere else, I m-might get bothered all the same."

He folded her fingers and drew her hands in, clasping them to his chest. His heartbeat always felt so faint, like he were just a porcelain shell. She just wants to pull him to her chest and cradle him at times like this. He always said they were like a nesting doll, hiding one another layer by layer. She loved that about them.

"If you want your spot back so bad, then let's get a restraining order."

An obvious answer, but the suggestion made her chest twist. "I don't want to criminalize him. I just can't do that to him."

"If he's not raping you, and you're not willfully going with him-"

"I tried to pay him off. I told him one night and we were done, but it just happened again."

"How does it just happen again?!" his voice booms in her head and rattles her soul. "How?! How?! How?! I don't get it!" his fingers clamp harder around her hands and she winces, but she tells herself he's just trying to hold onto her. She's slipping away and he's trying to hold on.

Tears fall down faster and she tries to silence her anguish by breathing, but it's so loud it sounds like she's hyperventilating.

"B-Because I'm a p-pushover. I'm sorry. I tell him to leave me alone. I tell him I'm married and I'm not interested and he keeps..."

"What's wrong with the restraining order?! This man absolutely sounds like a criminal, Hinata!"

"Because he's nineteen!"

Toneri's cheeks puff up. His lips vibrate with suppressed laughter. Then his chest rumbles with it, her hands against him feel like she's slipping through a wall of sand and she can't grab hold.

"Nineteen? Nineteen?! What is even the point of that?! Nineteen?!"

She looks up at him warily through the curtain of her bangs and she schools herself. Already she's so emotionally distraught and overstimulated, she can't handle such a random shift in his behavior.

But he continues. "My god. Nineteen? Is he that fucking stupid? What does he intend to do with you should he have you? You'd die long before him, hell, your beauty would be the first thing to expire!"

Hinata pulled the inside of her bottom lip between her teeth as she took the insult in stride. It's not like he hasn't complimented her in over four years or anything. But sure, yeah, she's on her way to expiring.

"I don't understand it either, Darling, other than that he seems to see me as... little more than his personal porn star."

Toneri chuckled bitterly. "What a shining example of humanity, my god. Really, I hate him already."

Hinata nodded with an air of resignation. She doesn't dare admit that Uzumaki-kun knows where she works, and that he has gone as far as to visit her there. She really would have no choice but to file that restraining order. For now, she's trying to diffuse this with as little pain as possible. Even breaking his heart is better than a criminal record. How on earth will he get a job let alone achieve his dream if his employers think he's a danger to women? Because he's not. He's not even a danger to her, just her marriage.

"So what are we doing about this?"

"Y-You don't have to do anything about this, Darling. I m-made it worse. But I-I'll make sure I fix my mistakes."

"Is that just code for sleeping with him again?"

"Darling! No-"

"Because I can't please you, right? It must have always been on your mind-"

"No, it wasn't! Even if it was, I would've asked you to get help back then! If it was that important, I would've pushed you! But it wasn't! It wasn't that important to me! It's still not that important to me!"

"You can sleep with him." he sounds like she's just wiped his soul clean from his body, and she removes her hands from his to circle his waist and pull him in.

They haven't been close in years.

Her breasts have only grown exponentially since college, and it embarrasses her somewhat to press herself so fully against him.

He's so skinny. He's always been aesthetically skinny, like a delicate prince. His heartbeat still seems so faint. It's fast with anger, she knows that, but it's still so quiet, as if he's not even here with her.

"Why would you say that?" she whispered.

"Because I want you to teach him a lesson for me."


"Hey," his boyish rasp was light and friendly, so unlike the carnal intensity of their previous night at the hotel.

He's doing it again, she thinks. He's trying to be a more digestible version of himself, and it hurts her heart in so many ways. Deep down she hopes someone out there will accept him, that they'll be good for him and he'll be good for them.

"Hello, Uzumaki-kun," she doesn't face him as she dutifully focuses on straightening the shoes on display. "You can't hog up my time. I know you're not a customer."

"Okay, yeah, but you don't show up in the morning anymore."

"I stopped running."

She moves further down the aisle and he follows her.

"Why?"

"Because I didn't need it anymore."

"I feel like that's bullshit, but go on."

"I realized it wasn't as bad as I thought and things are better now," she quickly glances at him and is caught in his ambivalent grimace.

"I see. I'm... happy to hear that."

"You should try to look happier while saying that. You're a poor liar."

"Ugh, look, it's just... I liked what we had, that's all. I'm not wishing you were still fucked up about your life or whatevs. Can't we still have our morning runs together?"

She turned on her heel and glared up at him, one hand on her wide hip. "So you can what, pull me into the bathroom again? I'm trying to kill your misguided crush on me. Why would I spend time with you if I'm trying to get away?"

Naruto palmed his temple as he rode through a sudden wave of despair. "Okay, you make it sound really bad-"

"It is really bad, Uzumaki-kun. It was never 'alright' or 'fine'. You don't get to ask anything of me."

Amidst his floundering confidence, his scrutinizing gaze pierced her. "Can I kiss you?"

Her skin brightened with a full-body flush of embarrassment and annoyance. "What did I just say?! B-Besides, I don't want to be seen with you that way."

His eyes turn glassy. He rapidly blinks back his hurt, lost and distraught blue eyes darting around her, perhaps looking for an easy escape. Then with a terse, tight-throated muster, he curses. "Goddammit," he takes a step back. He turns around. And he leaves.

She pressed her palm to her pounding heart and deeply sighs.

Her nerves settle down just enough that she can continue her work.

Perhaps he's finally gotten the message and she doesn't need to cross any more lines.

She doesn't understand why the other times never got through to him.

Maybe she was never stern enough to begin with.

Maybe she really was too weak, giving him signals she never meant for him to receive, then being promptly exploited just because she missed being loved.

But she never said 'any man would do'.

She missed her husband's love.

She's going to work on getting it back.


She's naive to think it's safe to keep jogging with Sasuke so close to Uzumaki-kun's campus, but it's become her new normal and she likes having the company.

The past week or so has been pleasant and quiet. Not to mention, his presence really scares off her acquired fanbase, so bonus points to that.

They both listen to music, running side by side, completely focused on their gait and breathing.

At the end, he asks what she's listening to and they exchange earbuds.

She's a little embarrassed because it happened to be a band she enjoyed in high school with Toneri. Sasuke's knowing smirk just amplifies her embarrassment.

"You went all out back in your day, huh? He showed me your teen photo."

Hinata glowered at the thought. What business did he have doing that?

"So the other guy's your husband."

Hinata smiled with cheeky pride. "Yes, he is."

"Congratulations. Love like that's pretty rare these days."

"'These days'," she chuckles as she lightly shoves his shoulder. "Like you're one to talk."

"What, because I'm twenty? I know things, alright? And I've seen things."

Hinata chuckled even harder as she hid her smile behind her hand. "You sounded just like a war vet."

Sasuke scoffed and held his hand out, asking for his earbud back. She placed it into his palm.

"So what do you think?" he gestures by lifting the charging case.

Hinata shrugs with a small smile. "I don't know. It's too fast and rough for me."

A slender eyebrow quirks up as he seemingly appraises her, replying. "I'll keep that in mind." And her body temperature rises from her feet to her head.

"Don't. Don't start with me," she laughs weakly, hoping to nip this in the bud this time. "What is your music called?"

Sasuke's subdued intrigue shifts into annoyance. "Thrashcore. My go-to for exercise. That band's still pretty underground."

Hinata observed him for a beat. She's never seen him in his civilian wear. But he was surly, blunt and crude, so it wasn't that hard to imagine. "You attend local shows?"

"Yep. I go to get my shit fucked and to fuck shit up, not necessarily in that order."

She assumed that more or less meant 'sex, drugs and thrashcore' in his case.

"But that's not your scene, huh?" he asks.

Hinata waves her hand spastically, laughing. "Of course not! I'm thirty-six!"

"You look good for thirty-six," his gaze doesn't budge.

Whatever vestiges of humor, however forced, clung to her face now evaporated away. She knows she instigated this. But it wasn't like that anymore. "I said don't start with me. We're just running buddies."

His face pinched in annoyance. "Okay, one: Yeah, you fucking do. Two: Fuck your running buddies friendzone bullshit. Cuz 'me start with you'? You started with me. Why else did you start coming over here? Not to mention you hit on me when I took your bait. So don't fucking feed me that fake modesty and just take the damn compliment."

She blinked at him befuddled and overwhelmed. "I-It's not fake modesty-" she's never experienced a scolding like this before. Young people these days. They really went right for the throat.

"You showed off your cleavage to those virgins the other week, so yeah, it is. So your self-esteem doesn't match your actions, but your actions still say 'Look at me I know I'm sexy.' Fake. Modesty."

Hinata ducked her head down as she clutched at the front of her windbreaker, seemingly trying to make herself as small as possible. "Okay. I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?!" Sasuke palmed his reddening face, growling beneath his breath, "Another annoying one."

Hinata glowered at him in confusion, reflecting back his annoyance. Then reluctantly, "Thank you for saying I look good for my age?"

He looked down his nose at her. "You're welcome. Glad you're learning."

As she walked up the riverwalk with him, up to the concrete stairs, she distracted herself with her plans for the day.

It felt really nice to be free like this again, to have her old life back, however staid and rote it's become.

She's not equipped to be tied up in the drama of youthful romance, let alone one's obsessed advances.

As she ascends the concrete steps shortly behind Sasuke, her eyes are pulled towards wide, sky blues and she halts dead in her tracks.

She truly was naive to think it's safe to keep jogging with Sasuke so close to Uzumaki-kun's campus, but it's become her new normal and she likes having the company.

No, maybe she wasn't being naive. Just incredibly stubborn.

What're you doing here? His eyes tell her, and they flick in Sasuke's direction, upper lip tugging into the start of a snarl.

Why are you running with him?

Hinata broke eye contact and focused on Sasuke's back just as the young man reached the top of the steps.

Uzumaki-kun doesn't get to ask anything of her. He doesn't get to claim her, and he doesn't get to complain about how she uses her time and who with.

Maybe he still needs reminding of that.

"Uchiha-kun," she calls and he half-turns towards her. "You need to eat, right? I heard it's best to eat within the first thirty minutes of a run."

Sasuke turned his head down the side of the road, his gaze making a direct line with Naruto's quietly livid stare. He then shrugged at the blond, as if he had no choice in the situation.

"Yeah. I was about to go make a shake at my room, but if you wanna go somewhere, lady, you're paying," Sasuke turned more fully towards her, a cocky grin playing across his face. "I'm a broke college student, after all, and I can't even afford a girlfriend."

Hinata ascends the steps to stand by Sasuke's side, looping her arm in his, and with a furtive glance over her shoulder, she sees the renewed fire of challenge in Naruto's eyes.

She frowns to herself.

He's not going to give up, is he?