Co-written with Scribes1015!
His phone call telling his mother she needed to get Buffy had been brief, he hadn't even taken the time to fill her in on what happened. Thinking that was a subject that she of all people deserved to be told in her person. Angel had been her adopted son, so he just knew that when he did tell her she would understand exactly where he was coming from with all this. Why Angel needed to move the fuck out, why Buffy needed more supervision, more guidance, and most importantly why he felt the way he did regarding it all.
Seeing lights turn in the driveway, he'd nearly bounded the stairs in an effort to get to the door, for one to make sure it was in fact his mother and not Angel's dumbass daring to make his way back here, for another he didn't want Buffy just jumping in and talking Mom into somehow just up and leaving before he had a chance to even talk to her about everything going on.
Breathing a sigh of relief when he confirmed it was in fact not Angel, he continued on his way.
OoOoO
Buffy closed her eyes as once more she heard the immediate direct to Angel's voicemail, next hit the button to the end the call, and lowered her mother's phone back to her lap. She'd barely started in on her latest round of cursing him, herself, Lindsey, Jesse, everything and everyone really when Lindsey came storming back outside, making enough racket to have her eyes flying back open, and she watched him angrily stomp his way off to his car and wind up taking off.
When her mom had arrived everything had easily fallen into chaos but after a few minutes of everyone talking over each other, Joyce had finally stepped in and told Lindsey to go inside and wait, which only made him angrier but he finally did as he was told. Buffy appreciated having the chance to speak first, to explain what had happened, what was going on but Lord knew what Lindsey would put out there and try and twist everything around to be.
Giving her that chance and making sure she was fine, Joyce let her get packed into the passenger seat of her car and went to go give Lindsey's his chance in the end.
Obviously it hadn't gone well. Not that she expected much less with his hot headed, stubborn ass.
Buffy managed another try at getting Angel to pick up or at least show any signs of life before Joyce came back to the car. Getting in with a heavy sigh, she asked Buffy if she was ready to go.
OoOooO
Lindsey shook his head, wondering exactly why everyone he happened to know seemed to have gone and lost their damn minds as of late.
His fingers gripped tighter around the steering wheel as he kept replaying too much of what had happened in just the last few hours... seeing Angel and Buffy together in that bedroom, Buffy acting like a damn brat, and now here added was their mom staring over at him angry as can be "I don't think I appreciate you insinuating my failures as a parent, Lindsey. If anything, the biggest thing that I have done wrong is let you carry on like you have for all these years when it comes to your sister," she had told him and things only went downhill from there until it got to the point he just had to be away. Away from all of it. Those walls, these people, the whole situation.
OoOoO
Whatever hope that she would find Angel back at home quickly faded away. His car wasn't outside and yet she hurried inside and went searching room to room like she expected to find him anyway.
Going back to what had been his bedroom, she felt her heart squeeze as she all but collapsed on the bed, her eyes again taking in all the missing pieces. It wasn't just what he had brought home for the summer missing, it felt like most traces of him were suddenly gone, from in here and from what she could tell a number of other rooms in the house as well.
When she finally pulled herself downstairs in search of her mother again, Buffy's eyes locked on the key sitting in the middle of the counter and she felt the newest round of tears starting to form.
Joyce's arms were quickly around her, shushing her and telling her everything was going to be okay. But Buffy knew better.
"I didn't know if you might be hungry or not," Joyce told her softly. "Thought I would prepare just in case," she smiled a little, nodding to the stove.
"I don't understand why he would just disappear like this," Buffy barely managed to whisper. "Wh-where's he even going to go?" she couldn't help but ask. Angel and Lindsey had always been so interwoven to one another she was pretty sure he didn't even know anyone that didn't also know her damn brother and everyone he was close to were in this family's circle.
Joyce was quiet for a moment then brushed Buffy's hair out of her face. "I don't know, sweetie. I think maybe Angel's just trying to give everyone some space to figure things out."
She wanted to shake her head, cry that she didn't want space, that she wanted to figure things out with him but nothing seemed to be able to make its way out of her.
OoOoO
"Can I lay with you?" Buffy asked from the doorway. "I just really don't feel like being alone."
Joyce looked up from her book and smiled, pulling back the corner of the comforter and patting the bed next to her. "You are always welcome," she promised and soon Buffy was curled up in the warm blanket, so tired and yet unable to fall asleep it seemed.
"I almost feel like you're the only person on the planet who's not mad at me."
"Why in the world would I be?" Joyce laughed softly.
Buffy was silent for a moment. "You're really not upset about... me and Angel... being together? Or... at least that we were..." she added after a pause, unsure of where things stood right now.
"Why in the world would that upset me?" Joyce asked, closing her book and turning over a little so she could look at Buffy better. "I know the kind of daughter I raised, Buffy. I know you are more than capable of making smart decisions about your life. And I have always felt Angel was one of those smarter choices."
"Yeah?"
Joyce nodded. "I know what kind of person Angel is too. He may not have been my own, and thankfully so in some obvious ways here, but I raised him, too. And I don't think I could imagine anyone better suited for you. I've watched the two of you together your whole lives, Buffy... so any new steps you might have taken didn't honestly surprise me too much." Joyce smiled again. "Even when you were a baby... you would get in these fit throwing moods and it was like Angel was the only one who seemed to be able to calm you down. And he would just... know. He would stop whatever he was doing and come over and make you laugh, make a funny face or pick you up and dance with you... whatever it was you needed. And that never really went away, changed as you both got older, had different problems in life other than tantrums but... that connection just seemed to evolve with you."
"But there's a big leap from being all of that as little kids growing up together to being in an actual relationship with one another."
"Mmm, yes and no. I don't think it was that big of a jump as either of you probably view it. At least not to me."
She wasn't sure what to say so she just stayed silent, closing her eyes she tried to get lost in the feel of her mom softly stroking her hair, and as she drifted off she tried to pretend that things were different, that it was a different time and they were all in a different place. That Lindsey and Angel were downstairs watching some stupid movie, and her biggest concern was her next history test.
OoOoO
The television was quiet and black, shadows cast from the swaying curtains kept dancing across the ceiling, the frigid air caused him to shiver, but he didn't bother getting up to adjust the thermostat. Late last night once he finally got to the hotel he'd collapsed, from exhaustion, from grief, from stress, from it all. He'd hardly moved since then, well other than the few times his bladder had forced him too. Mostly though, he'd just stared, at the wall, at the images in his mind kept replaying, at his phone.
Almost as soon as he left the house he'd powered the damn thing off, he needed time to think, he needed space from Lindsey, but mostly he needed to figure out what the hell he was supposed to say when she called. Where he'd been calm at the house when everything went down, now he couldn't seem to catch his breath. He'd watched the sun fall and rise again without drifting off once, and even now he felt like he would have a better chance completing a marathon, but then again that would require him to move.
He'd been able to hold it together the entire drive back but once he stepped into the house, it had all slammed into with full force. Everything, memories of him and Lindsey playing with dinosaurs on the stairs, their epic eight grade graduation party, Mr. Summer's death, leaving for college, the reason he hadn't come back, and everything that happened since he had.
He didn't regret what had happened with Buffy, he never would, ever. Somehow she had managed to steal his fucking heart, that was something he was just going to have to learn to live with, but what he wouldn't give to have the chance to change something, to go back and come clean to Lindsey when he asked, or before. Though in doing that he probably would have offset the way things happened with Buffy, and he honestly wasn't sure how much better Linds' reaction would have been had he just told him the truth yesterday morning before it all went to shit.
OoOoO
Lindsey wasted no time the next morning rushing around the house, shoving everything into bags as quickly as he could manage, his only thought was how fast he could make it back to Sunnydale and kick Angel's ass all over again. He tossed and turned all night unable to get the image of the two of them out of his damn mind, there was no telling how many times he'd tried to call Angel or the number of messages he'd left.
Even his own damn mother wasn't answering or returning his calls, which was something he still didn't fucking understand. He could only hope she'd had enough time to come to her damn senses, because one way or another things were going to change once he got back. For one, he hoped Angel knew what was good for him and wasn't just sitting around thinking this was something he was going to look past or forget, ever. It didn't matter how long they had known each other, how close they were or anything else, that mother fucker obviously didn't give a damn about it, so why should he.
As for Buffy, well he had some things to say about that too. Obviously she needed to find a new fucking job, that environment, no matter what his mother said, had to be a big influence behind some of her recent choices. The way she dressed, her attitude, everything about her was different and now he was finally starting to put all the damn pieces together, the biggest of which being fucking Angel.
OoOoO
Unfortunately the morning hadn't done much to make her feel any better. Once again her mother tried making her favorite, but she still couldn't bring herself to eat. Somehow she'd managed to sleep through the night, but she didn't feel like it, if anything she felt more exhausted now. Using her mother's phone she had tried calling Angel again, it was no use though she was still getting his voicemail, and a whole new set of worries were beginning to start because of it.
She wasn't sure how long she had been sitting on the small bench pulled up next to her window when she saw Lindsey's car pull into the driveway. A small part of her had been holding onto hope that he'd had enough time to cool off some, maybe gain some perspective on the situation, but watching the way he slammed the door and stomped towards the garage it didn't seem like it. Then almost as soon as she heard the slamming of the door, she heard her name being bellowed from down the stairs.
OoOoO
Frustrated, Lindsey clenched his jaw. "I can not fucking believe that you are still trying to take up for the two of them. Do you not fucking understand what happened yesterday, what I fucking saw, what's been going on in this house for God only knows how long."
"Do not use that kind of language in my house young man, and yes, believe it or not I understand exactly what's been going on. Thankfully I don't know exactly what you saw, but in my fifty years on this earth I have developed quite the imagination, and I'm sorry you had to see that, that of all the ways for you to find out, it had to be that way. But as hard as it's going to be, you're going to have to look beyond all of that and think about how this must be affecting your sister and Angel-"
Lindsey laughed, "Are you fucking kidding me mom, I don't give a fuck how any of this is affecting either of them, and neither should you. Here," his hands slammed against the counter top, "Let me spell it out for you, less than twenty-four hours ago I walked in on my sister, your damn perfect little daughter," he mocked, "With her legs fucking spread, while my God damn best friend fucked her into oblivion. So no I don't feel sorry for them, I'm not worried about how they feel, or how sorry they are, or any damn thing else when it comes to the two of them. From this day on as far as I'm concerned Angel's fucking dead to me, and as for Buffy, well I don't fucking know," he raged on, "But things are about to fucking change around here."
Taking a deep breath Joyce tried to quell her own anger, she was afraid it was going to come to this, though she had prayed all night it wouldn't. "Lindsey, you are my son and you will always be son, but right now you need to get your things and get out of my house," she told him as calmly as she could manage.
The whiplash flash of different looks that took over Lindsey's face would have probably been comical under other circumstances, he otherwise seemed to still as his brain tried piecing together what he knew she didn't just say to him. "You want me to what?"
"Please don't make me repeat myself, child."
Lindsey's hands shot up to his face, rubbing his itching, tired eyes, pretty sure he couldn't deal with one more run at everything flipping upside down on him. "You're kicking me out?" he finally asked, pulling his hands away. "Me?"
Taking another deep breath, Joyce clasped her hands together. "Lindsey, I love you more than words can ever express but right now I need you to not be here. And I am asking you - telling you - more than politely but if other means are necessary to give everyone some space right now then so be it. You are being completely out of line right now, you are being disrespectful. That door is absolutely not closed to you forever, but it is for the time being. It is until you can have a rational, reasonable conversation. When that time comes, or if you truly, truly do need me for something in the meantime, you know where I am."
OoOoO
Buffy's eyes were still as wide as saucers as she finally made her way downstairs, never in a million years having expected something like this to play out. After she had been asked to go upstairs by their mother, she had listened, tired of the screaming going on already between her and the jackass but she would be lying if she said she hadn't eavesdropped a little on what was being said. After she forced herself to calm down a little and held in a reaction to every stupid thing that decided to come flying out of his stupid mouth anyway.
Joyce had stuck up for her plenty of times in her life, though never quite in this manner. She'd been mad as hell even more times than she could count, but this was different from any of those times as well.
"Hey," Buffy said softly, easing her way into the room. "You okay?"
"Yes," Joyce said with a sigh, then smiled sadly. "And no. It will be okay though." Buffy continued until she reached the table, sliding in across from where her mother was. Joyce took a sip of her coffee then looked out the window for a moment. "Sometimes that boy is so much like his father it hurts."
Buffy's head tilted. "Now that doesn't sound much like the legend of Hank Summers."
Joyce sighed again. "Oh, for the most part not so much, but he could be a real hot head when he wanted to be, too. He learned how to channel it more usefully with some time and maturity and as the family grew though, it was a nice tool to rely on in the workforce but carrying on like that at home not so much and I let that be known with some tough love one evening with him, too. Lindsey is entitled to whatever he's feeling right now just as much as anyone else but I think we also all know sometimes we can get caught up in the heat of a moment or a situation and start saying and doing things we might later regret. Which, even that I would have let him get some of it out but there's a fine line to balance. And I tried, but right now I'm sure I would be better suited trying to have a reasonable conversation with a brick wall than that boy."
Buffy reached over and patted her mom's hand, she had her own feelings when it came to Lindsey and his parade of terror but those didn't need to be voiced right now either. She was a little surprised by the mention of her dad though, of course he was always still alive in their lives in little ways, but it was rather rare to hear anything kind of shining in a negative light on the man she hardly remembered and for whatever reason it almost made her feel the tiniest bit better somehow. "Dad ever just... disappear?" she asked as her mind started drifting back to Angel.
"You still haven't been able to reach Angel?"
"No."
Joyce took another long sip of her hot drink. "I think the last bigger scale argument he and I ever had, and it wasn't even really that to be honest, was when I brought Angel back to more officially live here. I mean, he practically already did but when I came home and got everyone else squared away and we had time to talk without little ears and mouths around he obviously didn't approve of how I was approaching everything. Not one bit that I was bringing Angel back home and basically announcing oh he's just ours now because he was entirely on board there, not for even a second did I even expect him not to be. But he wanted to... I don't know, he wanted to report Angel's parents and go after them with everything he had, he wanted everything to be by the book, wanted to make everything legal, get paperwork about some guardianship situation or adopt him or whatever he needed to do. And, you know, had that been another kid I know that is exactly what I would have said to do, and knew it was the right thing to do... but something just told me it wasn't in his case. We had a little back and forth then all of a sudden he got up and walked out of this house and I didn't see or hear from him for two days. Then he came home and we shared this look and it was just settled I guess."
"Where did he go?"
Joyce shrugged. "I don't know. I've always held a theory he went and pulled some strings somewhere anyway but he came home and that was just that. And it was just... accepted. This was his home and we were the people in charge and responsible for him, there was not once any major flags raised up when it came to that either... not with school, insurance, having to make medical decisions for that child, getting copies of his birth certificate at one point.. nothing."
Buffy was silent for a long time, thinking that over, trying to not let her hopes get up that maybe he too would do some following in footsteps about stories being told this morning.
OoOoO
Buffy was stirring the bowl of what was bound to become blueberry muffins when she asked if her mom had been worried when Hank had taken off like that.
"No," she chuckled, then turned to look at her daughter again. "You're worried about Angel though?"
She nodded. "I mean there's an endless supply of emotions there but I just can't seem to shake wondering what if Lindsey hit him too hard somewhere in the shuffle or what his state of mind might be and him probably feeling like he has absolutely no one to turn to right now."
Joyce sighed, running her hands under the warm water she felt her own heart breaking for her daughter. She honestly believed that given enough time everything would settle around them, that Lindsey and Angel would eventually find some sort of common ground, and the two of them would be inseparable all over again. However where all this mess left his relationship with her daughter was yet to be seen. Right now Buffy was heartbroken and worried sick, so the spark of Angel's absence had yet to really ignite, but she knew her baby girl better than anyone and eventually she knew that all that pain and heartache would turn to anger, she just hoped for everyone involved that Angel came back around before it got to that point.
"I'm sure he's fine sweetie," she told her softly, stopping to give her arm a light squeeze. "You may not remember, or have been witness to all the times those two have gone at it over the years. Both of them are probably a little bruised up, but right now I don't think either of them are focused on any bumps or bruises. Angel knows that he can come to me with anything, the same as you and your brother, and more than that he knows you love him and that you're probably worried sick. You know as well as I do that Angel has a way of internalizing even the smallest thing and blaming himself, he probably just needs a little time to sort everything in his own head. I'm sure you'll hear from him before long."
"But what if I don't," she asked, passing off the batter, Angel had brought up the possibility of losing Lindsey more than once in their time together, "What if it's not me he chooses," she added sadly.
Joyce shook her head, "You can't think like that sweetie. You can't look at any of this as a win lose situation, even if Angel reaches out to Lindsey first you can't let yourself think it's because he doesn't love you, or because he cares about Lindsey more. Just like Lindsey's going to have to accept it if things happen the other way around, Angel's in a tough spot right now no matter what move he makes I'm sure he knows it's going to hurt one of the two people he cares about more than anything."