Co-written with Scribes1015!
She couldn't believe there were only a few short weeks of summer left, "You're sure you don't want to tag along," her mom asked for what could only be the millionth time, "It might be nice to get away, get your mind off things for a little while before school starts again."
Her mom and Aunt Arlene had booked a trip to Hawaii which just so happened to fall on the last week of her summer break, which in a lot of ways sounded like just what she needed, but she knew she was far from being the best of company these days, and if there was one person on the planet that deserved a nice fun time away it was her mom. She had basically acted as her life line the last couple of months, and as much as she tried to act like her two children not speaking didn't bother her, they both knew it did. "Nah," she shrugged, "I'm kinda looking forward to having some time just to be," her eyes went wide, "Not that I don't like it when you're here, or appreciate everything you do mom, it's just that after everything this summer some time alone doesn't sound like the worst thing."
Joyce nodded, "Uhuh, just try to make sure you're not spending too much time alone. Even if you feel like you don't want to, a night out with one of your friends might do you some good."
"Ya, ya," Buffy rolled her eyes, as she grabbed one of the stacks of towels they had just finished folding, "Don't worry, I haven't turned into a crazy cat lady yet mom."
OoOoO
He knew that a run in with Lindsey was inevitable, especially once classes started, but he still wasn't ready to cross that bridge, no matter how much his friends seemed to push for it. Wes and Gunn had drug him out on a few occasions over the last couple weeks, and each time it felt like the pressure only increased. Apparently Linds had started asking around, dropping hints that he wanted to talk, possibly sort out some of the shit between them, if only it were that easy.
As much as he missed his best friend, he didn't see what good would come from the two of them coming face to face. Too much had happened, he already knew there was no way Lindsey would ever truly be able to trust him again, and honestly he wasn't sure he would ever be able to get past all the things that had come out of his mouth about him. Then of course there was Buffy, what little he'd learned from the guys, she was still refusing to even speak to him, but that would change eventually and when it did there would no longer be a place for him.
It may be selfish, but he knew there was no way he was strong enough to be Lindsey's friend and stay away from her, and if Buffy happened to hear that he and Linds had made up, well that would just be more ammunition for her to use against her brother. Despite everything, even all the shit that had been passed down the grapevine that Lindsey had said about him, he still wished nothing but the best for him, for both of them, which was exactly why it was best for everyone if he stayed away, no matter how much it hurt.
He had even started looking at other schools, some as far away as New York. It was too late to transfer for the fall, but if he kept his grades up and stayed on top of things there were some law schools that took transfers in the middle of the year. It would be expensive, he would probably have to pick up a job or two on top of his scholarship and grant money just to cover the move and his loving expenses, but it was something he was considering.
OoOoO
Joyce almost hadn't answered the strange number when it flashed across her phone, thinking it was probably just a telemarketer or one of those people who always called about car warranties, she'd been just about to hit decline when something told her she should answer. Nothing could have prepared her for what awaited her on the other end of the line. A doctor from Sunnydale Medical Center was calling because she was listed as Angel's emergency contact, at first her heart had practically jumped into her throat thinking the worst. Her brain trying to keep up, flashed hundreds of different scenarios of how she would have to tell each of her children that something terrible had happened to him, countless possibilities of what exactly that was playing out in her head until she forced herself to calm down a little and think more positively. The hospital wouldn't give her much information over the phone but had asked her to come in so they could verify she was in fact who she claimed to be and they would be able to fill her in more once she arrived.
Joyce's hands shook as she thanked them and said it would be only a few minutes until she made it over there, ended the call and quickly searched for her keys, those unwanted thoughts taking over again, knowing no one would have just up and called her over absolutely nothing was hard to overlook.
As she started flying down the streets of Sunnydale, her mind flashed through countless images and memories of her practically adoptive son mingled in with each of those intrusive possibilities. Tires screeched as she pulled into a parking space once she arrived at the hospital, never moving faster as she rushed toward the closest set of doors and looked around for a help desk.
OoOoO
"C-can I see him?" Joyce asked, her brain muddled after all the information that had just been dumped on her.
There was some clicking on the keyboard then a sympathetic no, not yet given as Angel was still in surgery. She was handed a card with his patient ID information on it and soon a nurse came to show her the right waiting room and how to look him up on the monitors to see his current status, shown the doors someone would come out of to speak to her when it was done and where he would be for the hour or so after the surgery was complete before they moved him to an actual room again, where the coffee maker and some vending machines and the bathrooms were located at as well.
Letting out a shaky breath, she looked over the card and told herself to be grateful he was alive, and based off what she had been told he was considered pretty lucky to have scraped by with only the injuries he had, none of which were life threatening she had been assured of... but easily could have been.
Looking around the brightly lit room, she found a seat that looked comfortable enough and had a good view of the double doors along the back wall and a monitor. Putting her bag down in the chair next to her, she looked at the card again and searched for the correct numbers just to make sure she knew what she was doing.
Phone also in her hand underneath the card, she sighed and debated whether or not to go ahead and make some difficult phone calls or to wait until she had more information and a chance to speak with him first.
OoOoO
When the surgeon and another man came out to speak with her, they led her into a very small room just off to the side to go over the details of the surgery a little better and provide relief that it was over and he was able to go into the recovery area. They helped her back to the waiting room and said it would be at least an hour before she would be called back to walk with him to a room upstairs. They pointed to a phone hanging on the wall and explained that it went to the nurses station on the other end in case she had any questions but they would come get her when they were ready.
Thanking them both, she returned to her seat and felt that shift between the relief he was okay to worrying all over again. She mentally started going over every time he had been put under anesthesia in the past and even though he'd never had a problem there was always that worry in the back of one's mind that someone might have a bad reaction or just wouldn't wake up. She'd been in this same spot every single time one of the kids she cared about had to deal with something like this.
The hour crept by so slowly, and then another nearly fifteen minutes that had her even more worried before the doors opened and a blonde nurse called out her name. "He's awake but is pretty groggy so he might be a little in and out... and cranky," she was warned.
"That's fine," she breathed out and her heart made that jump into her throat again as not but a couple moments later a team rolled the large bed with him on it closer.
The nurse and her chippy voice started talking to Angel, explaining to him where they were going but he just looked confused, especially as his eyes landed on her. "Mrs. Summers?"
"Yeah, Sweetie. It's okay," she whispered, patting his hand.
OoOoO
Angel fell back asleep on the walk, then barely opened his eyes a few times while they got him set up in the new room and checked his vitals. She met the new nurses and was told where the new closest bathrooms and little open area room where she could grab something to eat and drink was before being left alone with him for the first time.
She moved one of the chairs closer to him and grabbed his hand, trying to softly wake him for just a moment before whispering for him to get some rest and she'd be here when he woke up.
OoOoO
He was startled awake by someone touching him and then all there was, was blinding pain in his head. "What are you doing?" he asked, his voice hoarse and now hurting, too. And the pain just seemed to radiate from there all throughout his body.
The young lady in scrubs explained quickly about the accident, confirmed he was in the hospital, and told him she was just here to check on a few things real quick and then she'd be back out of his hair.
He tried remembering what in the hell happened but mostly everything was a blur.
"Do you need anything?"
"Um. Can I have some water or something?"
She smiled. "Sure, I'll be right back," she told him, picking up the small hospital pitcher from the side table before she walked out.
His hands reached around to try and find a button to mess with the bed, wanting to sit up better, when suddenly someone else was beside him offering to help. "Is this good?"
His forehead creased together, nodding, "Mrs. Summers? What are you-" he started then it dawned on him he hadn't even thought to change information with doctors or emergency listings at school and a number of other places for that matter. "I'm sorry, you shouldn't have been-"
Knowing just where his head was, Joyce shook her own. "Angel, it's fine."
"It's not," he argued but before either of them could say much more, the nurse came back in. She pulled the table along with her and sat his fresh cup of ice water down and a small tray of food. "Just in case you get hungry," she smiled sweetly. "Just remember to try and take it slowly, I'm pretty sure you've got enough meds in your system to keep it from happening, but we definitely don't want you going and getting sick so soon after surgery."
His head falling back against the pillow he gave a small nod the nurses way. Then after a moment asked, "Surgery?"
The young nurse shared a look with Joyce and nodded, "Yes, it seemed you sustained quite the list of injuries during the accident." Grabbing the chart attached to the end of his bed, she began flipping through it. "Three broken ribs, one on your right side, two on the left which unfortunately punctured your lung which was why you were taken into the operating room. Also it says here that the doctor on call was worried about a laceration to your spleen but once he got you opened up that didn't end up being the case." Her eyes met him once again, then she pointed to the chart of faces pinned to the wall, "What would you say your pain level is now?"
He shook his head, "I'm fine," he whispered, knowing that whatever pain he was feeling was well deserved.
He felt Joyce's soft fingers lay over the top of his, "Sweetie you're clearly not fine, you just got out of surgery, and it's this young lady's job to make you comfortable," she squeezed his hand, "No need to suffer."
Fighting the tears he felt stinging his eyes, he squeezed them shut and shook his head again, "I'm fine."
Joyce gave a small sigh, Angel had always had trouble admitting when something was wrong or he was in pain, when he was younger she remembered how hard it was to even get him to agree to a few Tylenol at times.
"Well," his nurse said after checking his blood pressure one last time. "Your blood pressure is good, and all of your vitals seem stable for now." Picking up the remote, she showed him how to power on the television, change the channels, adjust his bed, and most importantly how to push the red call button for the nurses station. "If you need anything don't hesitate to ask," then he watched as she wrote her name, along with the name of the charge nurse, and a few other things he didn't care to try and decipher just then. "Any questions before I leave you two alone for a bit?"
He groaned, "How long 'till I can get out of here?"
Again he watched the nurse's eyes glance towards Joyce, "I think it's too early to say just yet, though I shouldn't expect it to be more than a few days at most. The doctor should be by first thing in the morning if he doesn't stop back by tonight, he's really the one you should direct those types of questions to."
Joyce waited until the nurse had left before she spoke again, her emotions finally getting the best of her, she quickly wiped at the tears of relief spilling down her cheeks, "You gave me quite the scare there kiddo."
"I'm sorry," he whispered, finally losing the battle raging within him, silent tears running down his cheeks.
"You have nothing to apologize to me for hunny," she told him softly, running her fingers through his hair.
Turning his head back her way he forced his eyes back open, "I'm pretty sure there's a whole list of things I need to be apologizing for," he argued, "Forgetting to change my emergency contacts the smallest of all, everything with Buffy, Lindsey, all the problems going on in your family, everything's my fault."
"Oh Angel," she whispered softly, "You seem to be forgetting that despite what's going on, you're still a pretty big part of my family too. In fact throughout this whole ordeal the only thing I've been upset with you about is the fact that you all but disappeared on us. I figured you knew that after all these years no matter what it was, what happened, or what was going on between you and Lindsey or Buffy, that I would always be here for you just like I would the two of them. You may not have come from me," the smallest grin graced her features, "Which by the way is something I've learned to become quite grateful for with all these recent developments between you and Buffy, but in my heart you're still one of mine, and you always will be."
He wasn't sure what to say to that, so he didn't say anything at all. Instead he closed his eyes again, and tried to sort through all the muddled thoughts racing through his mind. He wasn't sure if he'd nodded off or how much time had passed but when his eyes opened again, Joyce was still beside him quietly scrolling through her phone. "Does anyone know," he started, "I mean have you told…"
Joyce cut him off with a soft shake of her head, "I haven't told either of them what's happened or where you're at." Then letting out a long sigh she continued, "I know that you probably think you're helping matters with disappearing, or cutting us all out of your life, and I can agree that it probably was what was best that first week or so, for Lindsey at least we both know how he is and you were right in knowing he needed some time to cool down. Which I think he has, believe it or not the last time I saw him he didn't look much better than you do now."
He swallowed, "And Buffy, is she okay?"
That time Joyce let out an even longer sigh, "I don't think Buffy's been okay since all of this happened. I don't either of them have really, but your absence didn't really start to weigh on Linds until these last few weeks. Where I feel Iike Buffy has been barely hanging on the entire time. She misses you, that much I know, but I also know that she's hurt, and now that it's been so long she's understandably pretty angry too. She's basically cut Lindsey out of her life which as you can imagine is driving him absolutely mad, but it's what he deserves too. He has to learn that Buffy isn't a child anymore, and after our last talk I think that's finally starting to sink in some. I think he's finally starting to realize that even though he found out about the two of you in the worst of all ways, that his reaction wasn't the best. That when it came down to it you nor Buffy needed his permission to see each other, that your relationship with him, and whatever relationship you have developed with his sister in no way should be viewed as one and the same."
"For it's worth I'm sorry I didn't come to you, to get your blessing, or even to just let you know what was really going on under your roof. It was never my intention to disrespect you or your home, everything between me and Buffy just happened so fast and at times I didn't even know what to think about any of it... we were trying to figure things out a little before getting everyone in an uproar and it just all seemed to start getting too far ahead of us-"
Joyce cut him off, "I know, Angel. Buffy has done a pretty good job of explaining things, including how she was more of the one pushing to keep things hidden from everyone, although I knew the two of you well enough to spot some changes, dear boy. It wasn't much of a shock to me. In fact, learning that you were finally going to come back home in the first place made me wonder how that would pan out given what happened in those years before..."
Angel's eyes widened. "She told you about that, too?"
Joyce laughed and shook her head. "Actually, no. I do however remember overhearing her and Willow on the phone a couple of times back then."
He made a face and shifted a little in the bed. "Yeah, well, I can honestly say that interaction was a lot less unexpected."
"I'm sure, but sometimes that is how it goes. And that's okay. Besides some maybe obvious examples, there's not really a right or wrong when it comes to who you develop feelings for and how."
"And yet... here we all are."
OoOoO
Angel wasn't entirely sure how Joyce managed it, but she had convinced him that maybe reaching out to Buffy wouldn't make the world stop spinning. She got his phone out of the pile of his personal belongings and surprisingly his phone wasn't totaled in the mess of it all, it didn't have a ton of battery life left to it but making an excuse to go look for a charger and maybe go find some better food options to let him decide what to do next.
He hadn't added her number to his new phone but hers was one of the few he had burned into his brain, staring at the screen he wasn't even sure what he was supposed to say to her if he dared trying. He saw even less of a chance at any sort of future for them at this point, and any apology he seemed to try coming up with only fell short.
His head pounding, his chest hurting every time he took a breath didn't help much either.
Taking a sip of the freezing water beside him, he finally just decided to take the plunge and let whatever happen happen.
He wasn't entirely surprised when she didn't answer and he stumbled his way over leaving a message without saying much, and it was only a couple of minutes before she called back.
"Buffy," he breathed out and felt the weight of the world crushing him as silence hung in the air. He could hear the inner battle inside of her in the silence, too, the want to break down in tears, the anger bubbling up... Which the anger won out not long after, she started in on him and he just closed his eyes and let her get it out. He barely got another word in before she was gone again, leaving him with a promise she wanted nothing to do with him ever again.
OoOoO
Buffy practically threw her phone across the room, her whole body feeling like it was shaking as she wiped tears angrily falling down her face. She'd spent so much time just wanting him to reach out, just to know he was okay if nothing else, but after so much time and all she'd clouded her head with since that fateful evening she wasn't so sure in the moment if she would have rather not have ever heard from him.
Hell, she hadn't even let him say much of anything, all the anger bubbling up and spewing out. Anger at him, Lindsey, herself, everyone.
And she wasn't going to care what he had to say either, she told herself. It wouldn't matter.
OoOoO
Joyce sighed as Angel started hinting she should go on home, that he was fine, and now Buffy was upset and needed her more than he did. She didn't get much about what happened in their phone call but enough to know it went about as she would have expected but hoped it wouldn't turn towards... Buffy yelling, telling him she regretted everything, calling him every name under the sun and the works.
"I didn't expect anything else," he told her softly. "If nothing else, maybe that's some closure," he shrugged, his fingers toying with an out of place string on the blanket he had over him.
"I don't want to leave you here alone," she told him, silently adding, especially since she'd spent every day worried about him since the little blow up between her boys.
"I'll be alright, Mrs. Summers. I am an adult now, I don't need someone here with me full time. Plus I am feeling pretty drowsy so I'm sure if I just stop doing much of anything, sleep will overtake me for most of the night anyway."
Another hour, then it started closing in on a second, and Angel did in fact wind up falling asleep but she still had a hard time coming to terms with leaving. Reaching into her bag, she sent a quick message to Buffy saying she would be home in a bit and asked if there was anything she might want picked up as cooking didn't sound like something she wanted to go home and do, then she looked at Angel for a long time before deciding to call Lindsey.
OoOoO
"Hey, Mom. What are you up to?"
"Oh, just getting ready to leave the hospital, though I'm having a hard time actually doing that."
Lindsey paused, his eyebrows knitting together. "Why are you there? Did you get hurt?"
She sighed. "No," she answered, then led him into a long pause. "Angel was in a car accident a number of hours ago now and I was still listed as his emergency contact so the hospital had called me."
Lindsey felt like all the air in his lungs surged out of his body in one big rush and his throat felt like it wanted to close as he tried to ask her if he was alright.
"Yeah, he's okay... pretty banged up and he did have to be rushed into a surgery when he first got to the hospital but it didn't take very long and so far he's recovering as to be expected. He's back to sleeping now and kept telling me I should go home and stop worrying but that's a little easier said than done."
"W-what happened?"
"Um, well from my understanding he was heading back to LA, doing his best to avoid actually coming into Sunnydale, after dropping his new roommate off at some concert venue with a girl he's been seeing. The roommate, not Angel that is," she started then explained about him being run off the road and down a decent size cliff after a car on the other side had crossed lines into his lane. "They decided Sunnydale was probably the closest hospital so that's where they brought him."
OoOoO
After finally getting off the phone with his mom it hadn't taken him too long to decide exactly where he should be. Joyce had been pretty vague but she had mentioned that when he was conscious, Angel seemed to be just as bad off with everything going on as he had been. He also learned that at some point Angel had tried reaching out to Buffy and not surprisingly she didn't give off the impression that it had gone very well. Apparently he wasnt the only one she was swearing out of her life.
His mom stuck around for a bit longer once he arrived at the hospital. She went into more specifics about what happened and what the true extent of Angel's injuries were, thankfully they weren't too bad, but he was definitely going to be on the mend for a while. He stood around in the hall for what felt like forever, and once he finally mustered up the courage to step inside the room, every single thought or emotion he'd prepared himself for seemed to fly right out the damn window.
Standing in the doorway he stared at the bruised and battered body of his best friend, his brother. In fact he'd been so engrossed in his own thoughts he hadn't even noticed his mom until she was right next to him, giving his arm a gentle squeeze while guiding him to one of the chairs next to Angel's bed. He tried to think of something to say, something to ask, but the words just wouldn't come. All the anger, the betrayal, the lies, everything that seemed like the end of the world a few hours ago, just didn't seem to hold much meaning as he listened to the heart monitor continue to beep in the otherwise quiet room.
Finally he released a jagged breath, "What am I supposed to say when he wakes up," he asked, tearing his eyes away from Angel for the first time, his hand finding his mothers. "What if he tells me he doesn't want me here, what if he won't give me the chance to explain," he paused. "What if he hates me too?"