Co-written with Scribes1015!

Exhausted was an understatement Joyce thought as she finally entered the house. Buffy had only given her a short response that she wasn't hungry, but she doubted the girl had eaten much of anything, especially not after her conversation with Angel, so after leaving the hospital she'd still run by a drive through to grab them a couple of burgers. Oddly enough she had a feeling when the night was finally over Lindsey would turn out to have been the easiest of her children to deal with, the third included.

She rapped lightly on Buffy's door and wasn't at all surprised when she pushed it open just enough to take a peek inside and found it empty. Hearing her daughter's soft cries she took a few steps to her right, not even needing to open the door already knowing she was behind it.

Ever since she'd heard from Angel, her emotions seemed to be going from one high to another, it was almost like she couldn't figure out how to feel. She would go from seething with anger, glad that she had finally had the chance to tell him exactly what she thought about him and how she felt, to so fucking relieved to having finally heard from him, knowing that he was okay or alive at least and then of course those thoughts would inevitably lead to her completely losing what little hold she had over herself and utterly losing control.

Hearing her mom come in, she tried to quell her sobs but it was no use, bunching Angel's old comforter between her fist she pulled it down just below her nose, "Mom," she barely managed to get out, her voice thick with emotion and then, "He called." Knowing she wouldn't need any explanations as to who exactly he was.

She had expected any number of things to come out of her mother's mouth, she expected that she might try to placate or comfort her. Maybe come sit beside her on the beds edge as she asked what happened, what was said, where he was, where he'd been or any number of things, what she hadn't expected however was to watch as her mom gave a slight nod, "I know."

Time seemed to freeze and there was a sinking feeling swelling inside her that she couldn't quite explain, she felt her pulse kick up a notch, "W-what do you mean you know," she asked, swallowing the bile she tasted trying to rise in the back of her throat.

OoOoO

She tried to remain as calm as possible, listening while her mom filled her in on exactly what happened, where'd she had been all day, and how all that ended up with Angel finally breaking down and calling her. Unable to do much more than nod, that yes she was okay, even though she felt anything but, she continued to listen while her mom went down the list of all Angel's injuries, how he needed surgery but how he was expected to be okay, and how as much as he despised it, he was going to have to spend a couple more days there before he'd be released.

Quietly she sat leaning against the headboard she and Angel had spent so many nights curled up against trying to digest everything her mom just told her. Now she felt terrible for all the angry things she'd spouted off, telling him she wished he would fall off the face of the planet, amongst other things, she wasn't sure she would have been able to live with herself if something ended up going wrong or he got an infection or any number of things. Though even though she regretted her harsh words, it didn't change anything.

If anything it only made her resolve stronger, he hadn't called because he missed her, because he couldn't go another moment without hearing her voice. His call hadn't come from a place of concern, he hadn't even called because he wanted to. From the way her mom explained it, it hadn't been his decision at all, she had all but convinced him, left him no choice but to call.

Not quite sensing the level of anger rising within her daughter, Joyce went on to tell her about how she had made the last minute decision to call Lindsey and let him know what was going on too. How he was the one at Angel's side tonight, how once again it was Lindsey who was clearly outlined as the most important person in Angel's life.

OoOoO

As far as he could tell it was still dark when he woke again, this time feeling much less groggy than the last. Taking a deep breath he tried to push back all the memories of Joyce's presence, of speaking to Buffy, of everything when he heard something or rather someone snore from the corner of the room. Squinting his eyes he could just make out the shape of Lindsey's sleeping form, his head dangling off the back of one of the plastic chairs, his feet stretched out on the other with what looked like both of the extra blankets he'd seen set off to the side earlier by one of the nurses thrown carelessly over him. An onslaught of emotions came pounding into him that he wasn't even sure where to begin with any of it, the whole car accident seemed quite petty in regard to having to face Lindsey again right about now.

Trying to do anything to ignore his former best friends' presence, Angel moved the bed back into more of a sitting position, turned the tv on the lowest volume where he could almost make out some of what was being said every now and then and tried losing himself in the movie, and just tried to snack a little and relax the best he could given the situation.

When Lindsey did finally start to stir, it felt as though all the air in the room had been sucked out in an instant. He continued to try and ignore Lindsey and concentrate on what the nurse was doing and trying to ask him as she messed with all his tubes and so forth. He'd had all the time in the world to try and figure out what he would say when this moment came but it'd helped nothing, he still felt like everything that came into his head just started falling apart and words tripping over one another.

Once she was done, she smiled brightly and reminded him to call up the nurse desk with that little red button if he needed anything before disappearing back out into the hallway.

"Well, you look like shit," Lindsey's voice finally broke through the tension filled silence.

"Should see the other guy."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, heard he's perfectly fine, jacked up his car but otherwise was good to go," he answered and Lindsey smirked the side of his lips up a little.

"You alright?" Linds asked after a brief pause settled in again.

Angel nodded. "Looks worse than anything really, nothing serious."

"Coulda been," Lindsey reminded him and Angel shrugged. "Coulda been easily a lot worse..." he said then sighed. "And that might have freaked me out a little bit. Kind of one of those reminders that anything can happen and the last thing you said to someone or the last interaction you had with someone might in fact be the last you ever get... and that just isn't sittin' well."

"I'm fine, Lindsey."

"Yeah but you never know what could happen and I just... I don't want the last memory I have of you being what it is, was. I was so angry I couldn't see straight and sometimes I still am quite honestly but me trying to insinuate what I did about you and her, that you were taking advantage of situations when she was in fact just still the little girl I wish we could turn her back into... that was wrong. I knew it was wrong and I swear I would never actually think that... my head just wasn't on right and I knew that was the worst thing I could say in that moment and that's exactly why I did and-"

"It's fine, Linds."

"No. No it ain't," he quickly cut back in. "In no way is sayin' something like that alright. I very much might not know what all was going on it would seem but I know you and I know you well enough to know better. So I am unbelievably sorry for what I said. I don't want you going through life thinkin' that's what I thought of you or having that be the last thing I said, you know."

Angel pretended to be interested in his fingers as he let Lindsey say his peace, feeling a little relieved. He kept trying to tell himself and everyone else had tried to as well that Lindsey had those moments where anything could fly out of his mouth and he had those "go in for the kill" moments at his worst, too. But you never knew.. and it was always possible it was on the flip side where Lindsey has those rare times where he keeps something inside then it all explodes out one day.

When he was done, Angel tried his best to do his own round of apologies about what went down... starting with hiding what happened in the first place those years back.

OoOoO

Angel damn near felt like he had in fact been in another accident by the time they got through apologies, explaining, filling in about what had been going on during the summer with him and Buffy - of course without too many details as poor Lindsey had enough experience in that area, leading up to the big blowout the two of them had.

In a quiet voice, Lindsey had again explained he had started to put the pieces together and was trying to wrap his head around it and also how he would have handled things had the two of them came to him, or at least how he hoped he would have reacted but agreed he understood why maybe that seemed like a daunting task.

He didn't mention out loud however how as he'd been sitting in here after his mom left how suddenly all the weirdness surrounding him about them seemed to more or less fade away. All of a sudden it seemed to make a lot more sense, for whatever reason.

"Buffy's refused to even speak to me since that night," he said instead, with a loud sigh. "The longer that goes on, the less sure I am she's ever going to again. Everyone keeps going on about giving her time and space but I'm not so sure that's all it's going to take, you know."

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, I'm sure she's angrier at me and plans to be for a lot longer... so there's that..."

OoOoO

Exhausted all the more from where the latest line of conversation led them, Lindsey tried switching things up a little and tried catching up with all things non Buffy related that had been going on in their lives as of late... everything from things going on with him and Mia, filling in about his weeks floating around after his blow out with Joyce he'd already touched on earlier and the move into the new apartment, learning more about Angel's own new apartment and roommate who sounded like nothing short of a nightmare as far as he was concerned, and everything else in between.

When he started talking about the upcoming return to school, Angel mentioned the possibilities of him moving across the country for next year and again he felt that rush of panic over it. After how all of this had played out, how well Angel had pretty much dropped off the grid already, he was sure he'd truly manage to disappear from all of their lives if he up and did something like that. "That's a hell of a move."

Angel shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe some big change like that is what I need, though. Maybe what everyone could use really. A fresh start doesn't sound like the worst idea right now."

Dragging one of the chairs closer to Angel's bed, Lindsey let out a sigh. "Is that what you really want though? I mean I know the last couple of months have been tough, and trust me I had my fair share of nights swearing I never wanted to lay eyes on your ugly mug again, but…" he shrugged, "I don't know, not so sure I can just go back to hating you what with ya almost dying on me and all."

Angel let out a jagged breath, silently thanking the drugs coursing through his system for giving him the extra dose of courage he needed to get through all these deep discussions. "Even so Linds, how are things ever supposed to be the same? Buffy hates me, and regardless of your part in it all when it comes down to it, I'm the reason she's not speaking to you. Everything is because of me, I never should have come back, this is the reason I didn't come back for so long. You, your mom, all of you have pretty much been the only family I have ever known, your parents took me in when I had no one and nowhere to go, when I was probably weeks away from entering the damn foster care system, and what do I go and do? I go and find the only way to tear you all apart." He took another deep breath, "I'm in love with her Linds, I'm so fucking in love with your damn baby sister that I can't fucking think straight, I'm lucky to sleep a couple hours a night, food has been the absolute last thing on my mind, everyday is a fucking struggle not to go crawling back to that house and beg her to take me back. To forgive me for being such a douchebag, for ignoring her, changing my number, for running away, for worrying more about you and what I'd done to our friendship than her..." his eyes finally met Lindsey's again, "For not laying your stupid ass out and taking her with me that night… Not because it was what you deserved," he clarified, "But because it was what she did. She deserves everything Linds, she's so much better than you give her credit for, she needs her family, she needs you, all of which is impossible with me in the picture."

Silence filled the air around them for so long Angel started to wonder if maybe he'd gone too far, said too much, but he didn't care if they were ever going to move forward then it was well past time he laid it all out there. "And you think your ass moving across the country is going to make her happy," Lindsey finally asked, "Cause I'm pretty sure she really won't ever fucking speak to me again if that happens, somehow that girl seems to find a way of blaming me for everything your dumb ass does here lately, highly doubt moving four thousand miles away will skip her radar."

Angel shook his head, "Trust me, you didn't hear her earlier, I'm pretty sure you're off the hook," he squinted, "Mostly anyway."

"That bad huh?"

His eyes still closed, he nodded, "Worse."

Lindsey grinned even though he knew Angel couldn't see him just then, "Can't say you didn't deserve it, I mean you kinda did just run out leaving her all high and dry, if I was her I'd probably be pretty pissed too."

Angel's eyes flew open and sent Lindsey a glare which promised him that had he not been confined to that damn bed... but then suddenly Lindsey was laughing, really laughing, doubled over in his seat trying to catch his breath cracking the fuck up.

OoOoO

It was well past lunch time the next day before Lindsey left the hospital. Angel had eventually scribbled down his address so he could swing by and grab him a few things. Thankfully he was probably only looking at another night or two in the hospital according to the doctor that morning, he'd even managed to get out of bed a few times, though they still had a drain inserted through the side of his chest helping to keep his lung from deflating again or whatever so he would have to get that removed first.

Oddly enough the two of them seemed to shift right back to their old selves after all the talking the night before. At one point he had even made some joke about that night and how he'd probably never be able to get those damn sounds out of his mind, Angel had almost even smiled. Then not surprisingly his mom had shown back with breakfast in hand, he kept peeking behind her, half expecting Buffy to appear but she never did, and he couldn't really blame her either, not now that he'd actually heard Angel's side of it all.

He'd thought about trying to call her but he knew it would be no use, she'd probably just hang up on him and that was if she didn't already have his number blocked. It wasn't until his mom mentioned needing to run to the mall to grab a few last minute things she needed for her trip the next week that he got an idea. There was no way he was getting anywhere close to Buffy when his mom was around, all that would do was launch her into another spiel about space and time, blah blah blah, but if she was going shopping, then there would be a chance he might be able to catch her alone, if she wasn't working anyway, but with everything going on with Angel he doubted it.

OoOoO

As much as she told herself she didn't care, she still found herself checking her phone every few minutes. She knew better than to ask where her mom was headed off to so early this morning, and it took all she had not to tag along with her and give Angel a piece of her mind in person, that's what she kept trying to convince herself of anyway, because that nagging voice in the back of her mind that kept trying to whisper how she should go check on him could just fuck right off as far as she was concerned. It wasn't happening.

Hearing the garage open, she casually made her way down the stairs in an effort not to appear too curious. However the person who greeted her had been the absolute last she expected, though she couldn't say she was that surprised. Rolling her eyes, she let out a small huff as she turned her back to her brother and began pouring herself a glass of water.

His arms crossed over his chest, leaning back against the counter, he waited, trying to give her time to speak first, but when she started to make her way back towards the stairs, he reached out, grabbing her arm to stop her.

"We need to talk."

Shoving his arm off her, she glared until he seemed to relent, then watched a little shocked as he took a few steps back. "Pretty sure I've said all I needed to say. Besides, don't you have somewhere to be?"

He actually looked rather confused at that. "Like where?" the he paused, "At the hospital?"

She nodded, glaring still. "Don't act like you didn't get news about a certain someone we can leave unnamed."

"I did," he answered slowly, "But he sure in the hell didn't ask me to be there. And I sure in the hell ain't his babysitter, going to sit there holding his hand the whole time," Lindsey grouched.

Buffy's jaw clenched together for a long time. "Then why go in the first damn place? Aren't you supposed to hate him now?"

Lindsey sighed, his shoulders shrugging a little. "I did. And quite honestly I probably could have kept that up for god knows how long if I really wanted to."

"But?"

He sighed again. "I didn't come here to talk about him, Buff. I mean not really."

"And I wish you wouldn't have come here at all!" Buffy shot back. "I don't want to talk to you. Not about anything!"

"And I understand that but you're still my baby sister-"

"No, I'm pretty sure I made it very fucking clear that-"

"And I'm still your damn brother and one day we're going to be all that's left of this family and I-"

"You didn't care much about that at any other damn point in your life, Lindsey!"

He let out a growl of frustration and paced a few more feet away from her. "I am fucking trying to apologize to you!"

"It's a little late for that don't you think?"

"Probably so, and yet here I am all the damn same. And not just about all things Angel related but for the whole lot of it... How I was treating you, how I have been basically your whole life. Might have come from a good place, I swear it always did, but that didn't make any of it right. There's a line between looking out for someone and not letting them live their lives I suppose... and I really didn't want to see that for the longest time. I did want to believe I knew what was best."

Buffy let him speak awhile longer, barely stopping to take a breath the entire time, but in the end it didn't really matter and she told him as much. "It doesn't change anything."

OoOoO

Lindsey had hoped at least seeing Buffy and any sense of a conversation would help him feel the tiniest bit better but he wasn't so sure that was actually the case after the fact. He was glad he somewhat expressed how sorry he was but he could only get out so much right then and there was plenty still left unsaid, at least on his end.

Nothing felt resolved, but he didn't want to push anything either. Before she started shutting down on him completely again, he reminded her he loved her, quietly told her that he missed her, and would always be there anytime she needed anything. Not wanting to hear any quick retort, he had high tailed it almost as soon as the words exited his mouth.

OoOoO

As the next several days passed, Angel had a handful of visitors come through to see him at the hospital, though none had been Buffy. Not that he actually expected her to show with how things had went down, including the two times now he'd tried to reach out, one where she went all in after him and the other was an answer and hang up on the other end.

He smiled and nodded as the doctor went over some finalities to his discharge, including lying about having a good support system in place while he finished healing, setting him up with a doctor to go to for the two week check up closer to home, being run through the medication he was going to taking for the next little bit.

Sighing with relief as he made his way toward the closest exist and was about to start dialing for a cab to come get him since he was now very much in need of a new vehicle but he and Lindsey nearly collided into one another as he was stepping out into the open air.

"You bustin' out?" Lindsey smirked.

"Finally," he nodded. "They ran a few tests and decided I didn't need to stay the extra night after all and I wasn't about to throw up any complaints about that."

"Uh huh. Well," Lindsey ran a hand through his hair for a moment then pointed back behind him toward the parking lot. "You need a ride?"

"Nah. I'm good, I was just about to call a cab and if they were going to take a minute I figured I'd run across the street and get some prescriptions filled in the meantime."

Lindsey shrugged. "Goin' the same direction dude."

Angel went to open his mouth in protest but somehow he wound up just giving in by the end of it.

OoOoO

The next unexpected, and by far least welcomed, surprise of the day came in the form of being dropped off at the apartment only to find his lovely roommate had decided to pack up all of his things while he was set up in the hospital and that someone else had already otherwise moved in here in his place.

Angel stood utterly annoyed with the whole situation but was far too tired to want to figure out any more to what was going on or fight about any of it.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, he pulled out his phone that just alerted him he had a new text message and shook his head as he read Lindsey checking in to make sure everything was alright before he took off. When Angel didn't end up replying, at least quick enough for the oldest Summers child, he sent another then started calling. Angel shook his head as he answered, tiredly telling him everything was fine but there was less than zero convincing anyone of that at the moment.

OoOoO

Angel fought him the entire time the back of his car started filling up with what little items Angel had brought with him to the apartment he'd been staying in. And added to the previous ones from the drive up about any offers he threw out to help him get around if need be until he was no longer without proper transportation by throwing in he'd also help him look for a new place if he needed.

As Angel wound up dozing in the middle of reading off some of the closest and cheapest hotels in the area he was happy to just be dropped off and not need another thing from anyone, Lindsey grabbed the phone as they came to the next light and glanced through the list before rolling his eyes and putting it back in Angel's lap.

"Where in hell are we?" Angel groaned when he came to, looking around.

"Eh, I figured I have a spare room just sitting there and I don't require any upfront payments so..." he trailed off before climbing out.

Angel looked annoyed as he got out as well. "I can't stay here."

"Why the hell not," Lindsey asked, walking around to the back of the car and popping the trunk. As far as he was concerned it was a no brainer, it had always been like this, the two of them, and he was long past wishing everything could just go back to being normal already.

Angel was pretty sure he'd prefer being hit by a truck compared to how he felt standing there right then. The doctor cleared him to leave the hospital but he was far from healed, his hand held firmly against his side, he tried to will all the pain away, "Because I just can't," he groaned. The drugs coursing through his system making it hard for him to argue.

Lindsey barely even acknowledged the ramblings coming from him, instead he focused on grabbing as much as he could, knowing it would take a freaking miracle just to get his stubborn ass up the stairs. Once he made sure to grab at least one of the bags with some of his clothes in it, and the one with all the meds the doctor had sent him home with, he closed the trunk, then without missing a beat locked eyes with Angel and pressed the button on his keys to lock the door.

"You comin'," he called over his shoulder after he'd taken the first few steps.

He knew they were going to have a much longer conversation about this at some point, one where Angel assumed the role of the damn martyr he was, one where he got annoyed and told him he was being the stubborn asshole now. But it wasn't the time for all that, Angel looked like he was about ready to fall over, and he couldn't deny that after everything the last few days, a solid ten hours in his own bed sounded like heaven.

Every step was excruciating, every breath, every time he lifted his leg, felt like a bullet to his ribs. So by the time he'd reached the top, any arguments he'd had left were quickly stashed away for another time.