Chapter 3 – Year 838
The 19th Exterior Scouting Mission (Part I)
Author's Note: The extended version of this chapter contains explicit sexual content. You can access it on Ao3. Here is the link – enjoy! archiveofourown./users/antiqui_tea/works
"Alright, alright! I yield!"
Iris beheld the boy at the end of her practice sword; he had fallen when she disarmed him. "Well, Moblit," she said, lending a hand, "you're not getting any worse."
"Gee, thanks," he replied. Moblit took her hand and stood up. This marked his sixth consecutive defeat. "Guess you're not getting any worse either." He wore a small, cheeky grin. "Rematch?"
She glanced at the sky. The position of the sun suggested that it would be dinnertime soon. "Maybe tomorrow. I have to shower before dinner."
Moblit nodded. "Alright! See you, Wagner!"
Five years had passed since Iris enlisted in the Survey Corps. In that time, she nursed more heartache than she ever cared to. Friends came and went like the tide; with each passing day, her relationships became less and less important. Introductions of any kind were brief. To date, only a select few knew Iris by name. Everyone else called her "Wagner."
Hange Zoë – whom Iris had met in the Cadet Corps – was her dearest friend. Though they no longer shared a room, the two still made time for each other. Their friendship felt safe – safer than any other. It was because neither of them had gone beyond the wall yet. Iris dreaded the day that that would change.
Frederick and his young family held a special place in her heart, too. One year after their nuptials, he and Jenny welcomed their first child. Little Theodore – or "Teddy," as Iris called him – would turn three in a few short months. She held her breath whenever Fred left Trost District.
And then there was Calvin Finch, a young man from Shiganshina. He was two years her junior and a member of the 89th regiment. At first, he was little more than a bedfellow – a fling with an expiration date. She felt different about him now, though; Iris often craved his company more than his touch. While it had only been a few months, their relationship far outweighed her girlhood fantasies about Erwin Smith.
Iris returned to headquarters after her sparring session with Moblit. The first thing on her agenda was a hot shower. If she made haste, she could meet Hange for dinner.
No one was in the women's bathroom when she arrived. Iris, as usual, chose the very last stall. It was the only one that produced hot water; all the other showers were lukewarm at best. She reached beyond the curtain, pressed the lever, and stepped back. The pipes gurgled and clanged before releasing a surge of cold water. Iris knew better than to stand in the stall before the boiler kicked on.
"I overdid it today." She leaned over the sink stared at her reflection. Her freckled cheeks were smudged with dirt. "You think I'd know better."
Steam blurred the edges of the bathroom mirror. At last, the water was warm enough to bathe. Iris traipsed back to the stall and slipped behind the curtain to disrobe. She folded every garment neatly before tucking them in a dry corner. It was an odd habit to have; Hange, for one, teased her about it in basic training.
Then, the door opened. Iris frowned and stepped into the spray. She liked her alone time – especially at the end of a long day. With any luck, the person would be brief.
Clink, clink, clink! The shower hooks rattled as someone stepped in behind her.
"What the fuck!" Iris fell against the wall, blinded by a torrent of water. "Get out!"
Melodious laughter filled the room. "You're cute when you're mad."
She wiped her eyes and stared at the intruder. "You're an ass, Finch," she said. "I told you that I'd find you after dinner."
In the beginning, Calvin was sweet and demure. He let her call the shots instead of taking initiative. But when he returned from his first mission, his demeanor changed. He was no longer content with the distribution of power.
"Couldn't wait that long." He advanced – fully clothed – and pinned Iris to the cool, damp concrete at her back. "I haven't had you in days."
"So what? You have a hand." She gazed into his deep, brown eyes. Though she wouldn't admit it outright, the disturbance made her weak in the knees.
Calvin placed one hand on the wall to brace himself. The other came to rest on her hip. "That's true," he agreed, nudging her nose. He refused to go any further. "Do you want me to stop?"
His appetite might've changed, but his principles certainly hadn't. Iris curled her fingers into the damp fabric of his shirt and tugged him closer. "Shut up," she muttered, holding him against her body.
(Fade to Black)
Iris fell limp when he wrapped his arms around her. "That was…amazing."
"Did you finish?" He sounded surprised.
"No," she admitted, "but I don't need to. Not tonight." Her body ached; all she wanted now was to fall asleep in his arms. If they didn't live in the barracks, she would've suggested it. "Hey," Iris added, "did you bring a change of clothes?"
Calvin smiled and kissed her shoulder. "No. I didn't plan that far ahead."
She laughed and reached for a bar of soap. "We'll think of something. Can't have you doing the walk of shame…" After a few seconds, she turned her head and met his eyes. "How did you know I was in here anyway?"
"Ran into Moblit," he replied, combing a handful of shampoo through her hair. "When I asked about you, he said that you were probably in the shower."
"Mmm," she hummed. "I'm glad he told you."
Service had ended by the time Calvin and Iris reached the dining hall. That notwithstanding, it seemed that everyone – even senior staff – was in attendance. They entered quietly and stood in the back of the room to avoid detection. Unfortunately, the audible thud of the double doors gave them away.
Keith Shadis paused midsentence lifted his head. "Nice of you to join us," he said. His tone was nothing short of stern. "Fall in."
Hange – who was in the second to last row – turned toward them and waved. Iris refused to acknowledge their greeting, though; Shadis didn't need another reason to address her.
"Now then," he continued, "the following recruits will join us for the 19th exterior scouting mission…"
Iris' heart jumped into her throat. She hadn't been picked yet, but she knew it was only a matter of time. Another mission? But Finch just came home last week; what is he thinking?
Someone in the next row echoed her thoughts. "I didn't think we'd be going out 'til next spring. Weather's gonna turn any day now."
"Vivian Arden, Benjamin Barker, Cecilia Greg, Eric Palmer, Derick Sutton, and Iris Wagner – you've been assigned to Squad Mike. Your team leader is Christopher Fields. You'll be briefed tomorrow morning in the training yard."
Her ears burned; had she heard that correctly?
Calvin took Iris' hand. The gesture alone was proof enough. "It'll be fine," he stated. "You'll be fine. You're ready. I've seen you."
Who was he trying to convince, exactly? Sure, her numbers on the ODM course had improved…but those weren't live targets. Like most recruits, her chances of survival were slim to none. She was fodder.
"Next," Shadis said, "are Sarah Beckman, James Cooper, Eva Darcy, Calvin Finch, Milo Hayes, and Edmund Reed. You've been assigned to Squad Erwin. Your team leader is Keira Abbott."
Iris squeezed his hand. "Not you too," she murmured. "This can't be happening…"
"It'll be fine."
"You said that already."
"I survived, didn't I?" Calvin glanced at her. Despite his bravado, the man's eyes betrayed him; he was terrified, and Iris knew it.
Time slowed as Commander Shadis prattled on. She wasn't listening to him anymore. The only thing Iris could focus on was the ragged sound of her breath.
Finally, he said, "That will be all. Dismissed!"
Frederick Wagner stood shoulder-to-shoulder with his fellow officers. He, too, had received a fresh batch of recruits for the next mission. As the crowd began to disperse, he searched the sea of faces for his sister. An overwhelming sense of unease hung over him despite the briefing he received beforehand. Erwin – his squad leader and oldest friend – had been kind enough to deliver the news personally.
"Fred."
A familiar voice pulled him from his thoughts. Fred inhaled sharply and turned his attention to the speaker. "Squad leader," he acknowledged.
Erwin sighed and laid a hand on his shoulder in passing. "I'm sorry."
The days that followed were a blur. For all his bluster, Commander Shadis was not a cruel man; instead of shipping out on Monday as planned, he gave the recruits one more week to prepare. Most of them took leave and spent time with family; however, some opted for additional training.
Iris decided on the latter. She was the first to reach the training yard and the last to leave it. Calvin and Hange, meanwhile, bonded over their mutual concern.
"She hasn't eaten in days." Hange sighed and watched their friend from the sidelines.
"I know," Calvin replied. He leaned against a training dummy and dabbed the sweat from his forehead with a towel. Originally, he planned to travel home; but his girlfriend's state kept him at headquarters. "If she keeps this up, she won't-" He shook his head, hoping to dismiss the thought.
Hange knew what he meant to say. "I wish it had been me," they murmured.
"I wish it had been too." The words escaped before he could stop himself. "I-I…shit, I'm sorry."
"Don't be."
Junior officers were posted in the training yard throughout the day. When Erwin arrived for his stint, he withdrew a pair of leather gloves from his pocket and slipped them on. The chill of late autumn hung heavy in the air. As the days grew colder, even he began to question the Commander's judgment.
His gaze settled on the svelte redhead across the field. He kept watch over Iris, too – more so for Frederick's sake than his own. Between Jenny and his infant son, Fred had enough to worry about.
Initially, he admired Iris' zeal; it was refreshing to say the least. Now, though, he found her enthusiasm disturbing. When was the last time she slept? "I'm putting a stop to it," he muttered. "Wagner! That's enough!"
Iris faltered and dropped her practice sword. Erwin broke her concentration. She regarded him with a vacant stare, somewhat perturbed by the interruption. "I'm not finished!"
He set his jaw and strode toward her. "Yes, you are," he said. Only when he met her did he realize the full extent of her condition. Her skin was pallid and dry. Given her efforts, she should've been covered in a layer of sweat.
"I'm not ready," she confessed. "I need to-"
"You need to rest, Wagner," he interjected. "You're severely dehydrated."
A shallow sigh left her lips. He was right and she knew it.
"I'm taking you to the infirmary." Erwin removed his cloak and draped it over her shoulders. When her core temperature cooled, she'd thank him. "And I expect you to stay there. We leave for Wall Maria in two days."
On November 3rd, 105 soldiers and their mounts arrived in Shiganshina. A pale, grey dawn greeted them as they rode through the city. The weather was no warmer than the crowd that lined the streets. It was a grim affair; only a fraction of them would return on horseback. The rest would lie in a fly-covered wagon.
"Cal, wait! You don't have to do this!"
A woman lunged at the caravan. Thankfully, someone pulled her away before she spooked the horses. Iris bit her lip and refused to acknowledge her. She couldn't be certain, but the voice likely belonged to Calvin's mother. Tears welled in her eyes as she thought about her own parents. She hadn't seen or spoken to them in years.
Her father's words resonated as they drew ever closer to the gate. "Look at your mother – look at her! You've broken her heart, Iris."
"Wagner." Christopher Fields – her team leader – made eye contact. His voice was firm. "Stay focused."
She nodded and steeled her resolve. He was right; if she faltered now, she wouldn't stand a chance beyond the wall.